This is probably the first week in more than two years where I didn't buy a single DC book, though only because I couldn't seem to find Blue Beetle. Boy, did I spend a lot of time at the shop reading. Thanks to Annihilation: Book Three, however, I spent about same amount of money. Thanks, Annihilation!
Countdown #44
Wow. Forerunner is still blabbing about honor and her families' houses and betrayal and forerunning and who thought this was a good idea? At least the Monitors don't speak this week. Small favors.
I'm getting tired of saying this, but yet again the Rogues story remains the best part of the book. And considering that they had about a page of story, that says frightfully much about the state of the book. They're on the run for killing the Flash which, while it doesn't absolve the ineptitude of how that story was carried out, certainly does seem like the story is going to have repercussions across the board and make for interesting developments with these characters.
Jimmy gets yet more silver age powers and while this story is still sort of interesting...for now...it better go somewhere soon.
Holly The Other Catwoman meets...the Amazons? I have a theory about this, but I don't wanna jinx this so...
Mary finally meets Billy and acts like a brat, except that you sort of understand exactly why she acts like a brat 'cause she does have a point. Billy takes all this time to contact her -- and we see no reason why he couldn't have done so weeks ago -- and when he finally does, he just says that Freddy's got his trials and Mary's...uh, screwed by fate. Who
would accept that? Who
would just take that lying down? I hope the writers focus a tad bit more on
that instead of OMGG MARY'S GOING EVILZ. But I'm not holding out
that much hope.
(6.9 out of 10)
World War Hulk: Frontline #1
This is hilarious. Y'know how Paul Jenkins did everything humanly in his power to misrepresent the main storyline of Civil War and make everyone look like foaming ******s? Well, guess what he does here?
In the main World War Hulk book, SHIELD and the superheroes incredibly efficient and practical with the evacuation to all concerned, even offering telepathic aid; all one had to do to receive help was to think about it. Here, however, the evacuation of NYC resembled a giant chicken running around with its head cut off. Oh yes, and we mustn't forget that SHIELD and all the heroes are elitist government pigs who don't care about the poor and decrepit parts of the city; unless you have money, you get to just wait to get smashed.
Oh, Jenkins-chan. You silly old fcker. Never change.
(5.2 out of 10)
Sinestro Corps Special
I expected a lot better from Johns. Really did.
Maybe it was written logically and in-character, I dunno; I was frankly a bit numb during the read-through and couldn't really tell. But frankly, I don't even think I care if it
was. If I took Spider-Man into an alleyway and raped him in every hole until he passes out from blood loss, it would
probably be "logical" and "in-character" for him to become psychologically traumatized and unhealthily withdrawn. That does not make the idea any better, or the story any less of a shtty idea for shock value sht.
So the idea here through the past year, then, was to make everything as horrible and traumatizing and soul-wrenchingly painful for Kyle as humanly possible and then act like it's "good writing" when he gets tentacle-raped into an evil, two-dimensional footnote.
Fck that. I'm not going for it. And Johns really should know better.
I can hear the responses already..."Isn't that exactly what happened to Hal?? Isn't it okay, then? It's like poetic justice or something
!" Well, three things: one, can I see show of hands here of anyone who actually
liked the original Parallax story and
didn't think it was a mistake that would only get mollified with time and effort through years and years of "caveat" stories? Did we actually need
another one of those? Two, how is it possibly a good thing that we're basically cloning a story here but with a different character? Are we
that lacking for originality? Three, anyone who's actually getting their rocks off here seeing something horrible happen to Kyle to somehow "make up" for what happened to Hal should possibly just castrate themselves now to save mankind the trouble of dealing with your genetic stock.
.
The thing was that everything was
fine. Hal was back in his own okay-ish solo series and the JLA. Kyle didn't have an ongoing solo but had a solid, powerful presence in the DCU further exemplified by the esteem he's garnered for himself anyway, and is going to play a significant hand in Countdown. It was a good balance. Everyone wins. Cosmic consonance had been served!
And then this. And to further the painful irony of this book, the Sinestro Corps is actually a pretty good idea. There
are things to like, here. The reemergence of Superboy-Prime, while a bit premature, is a great turn of events. The Anti-Monitor being back is...well, I don't really care about that, but I'm sure it's very exciting for some. Even the reveltion of the "Ion" being as a counterpart to Parallax as a sentient embodiment of willpower had interesting possibilities. See, even in the midst of a horrible trainwreck of a ploy, bits and pieces of Johns' ingenuity still shine a bit. And yet he had to ruin it all for...what? Why, exactly, did he have to? What purpose does it serve? How could he possibly have thought that this was a good idea?
And yeah, yeah..."This is surely only temporary! He'll get his redemption soon!" Yes, I'm perfectly aware of that. Or else his upcoming appearance in Countdown (brr) wouldn't make any sense. But as I said, just because an idea will be mollified in the future doesn't make the original idea any less shtty. The only way this particular subplot could ever be redeemed is if it's all revealed to be a hoax and boy does that speak volumes about the state of the story.
(5 out of 10)
And now for the Amazons Attack triumvirate of painful, illogical nonsense:
Amazons Attack #3
I may be* biased, but I just don't understand how anyone can enjoy this comic sober.
*definitely am
Just in case anyone forgot: Hippolyta is not
supposed to be the Queen of the Amazons. She gave up her royalty, abolished the monarchy, and ceded leadership of the Amazons to Philippus and Artemis. So, this entire little subplot about Philippus and Artemis thinking that Hippolyta is a foaming ****** and wanting to take over the throne from her? Like everything else in here, it makes no sense if you've ever read a Wonder Woman comic before.
After last week's little Kansas-burning "cliffhanger" which was stolen entirely from Our Worlds at War, of all things, the entire scene is then completely forgotten to make way for...overblown brow-beating propaganda in our faces. Oh
Christ. As if we haven't had enough of that over at Marvel last year. Now we have to have yet
more Patriot Act comparisons and internment camp fun. How could Pfeifer possibly have thought that this was a good idea? Are we detecting a theme for this week, yet?
Hippolyta is still doing things that make no sense and dishonors everything that every other writer has done for the character and you all know what I think of this so screw it. The only way this comic could ever be redeemed is if it's all revealed to be a hoax and boy does that speak volumes about the state of the story.
(1 out of 10)
Wonder Woman #10
It's funny that before now, Jodi Picoult had been getting better and better on this book with each passing issue. Not with this issue, though; with this issue, we revert
completely back to form with Wonder Woman talking endlessly about nothing, whining about everything, and basically acting like a useless baby. There's some plot development involving killer bees but...essentially the issue begins with Diana fighting her mother and ends with her fighting her mother, maybe on a different street or something, and you all know how much I fcking
hate it when books do that.
Jodi Picoult's run on this book has basically been a big joke and ends as a big joke; her run ends here, but the story isn't over and will continue next month under...Pfeifer. So...what in the hell was the point of Picoult? She didn't start her own story, she was forced to somehow integrate her story in with Pfeifer's, and she ends her run now with a cliffhanger. This is the kind of bullsht, desperate market ploy strategy that we'll
laugh about in several years, and laugh
at DC about forever. I really don't blame Picoult. She did the best she could with what little she could. But DC should have known better. How could they have possibly thought this was a good idea?
(4.3 out of 10)
(5.1 out of 10 for the entire run)
Teen Titans #48
So I see DC's figured out the only way of making Supergirl seem less like an annoying, unlikeable brat (other than, y'know, taking Waid's example and just not writing her like an annoying, unlikeable brat). The solution is quite simple: put her next to an even
more annoying, unlikeable brat. In this case? Wonder Girl. Man, Wonder Girl. Look, we get it. She's angsty right now. She's got teh issues. And she's got a point here; lord knows who
wouldn't have a point when they're going against the Evil Big Bad Interment Camp-Making Government Bad People. But come on. Every single one of her writers should be doing his
utmost at this moment to recover Cassie's spark and spunk and likability instead of dragging her even further into crazy btch land. Everyone at DC should be doing everything humanly possible in their
power to accomplish this. They should not be doing the exact opposite, which is to make her an overemotional emobag who just likes to punch things when she gets overemotional which is all the time which is
exactly what DC is doing with her. How could they possibly think that was a good idea?
Meanwhile, more Amazons! In a way, it's almost fitting; of
course these womb-crazy manhatin' btches, aka Cassie and Kara, would be perfect fits with the womb-crazy manhatin' btches aka the Amazons. It almost seems
planned at this point.
(5.4 out of 10)
Fallen Angel #13, 14, 15, and 16
You should be reading this. I know you're not because, well, obviously you're not, but you should be.
Of interest to some here is that issues 13-15 are about Linda Danvers. Yes, that Linda Danvers. Peter David takes her out of Limbo -- literally, as it turns out -- and puts takes her from DC into IDW, just as he's done with the Fallen Angel herself. To his credit, he doesn't give her a sappy, everything-goes-happily storybook ending. Everything is real here, nothing is sugarcoated, none of it betrays the cynical mindset of this series...and yet, it's still a very fitting story that gives Linda a sendoff-of-sorts. She kills people, betrays her nature, ends up crazy, gets better, and then leaves town...and yet you still love her. This is how you do it. This is how you mix in the darkness with the light in a beloved character. Not OMG SPACE BUGS. Plus the fact that she rips off someone's arm and beats him with it, which is always fun. Every Linda fan needs to read this.
Issue #16 is a fun little issue...you read about Lee's adventures in one half of the book, and then flip the book upside down and read about a completely different character's story in the same place leading up to meeting Lee. It's clever, it works, and it's something that I wish bigger companies had the balls to experiment with sometimes.
(9 out of 10)
