Can Men be Trusted? With your Woman.

[SsM]

This has gotten just... Bizarre. I have also never been raped or murdered by a friend.

 

[Eggyman]

I DID once wake up with a hangover and a sore anus, so maybe I have been betrayed.

Ignorance is bliss

 

[SsM]

I DID once wake up with a hangover and a sore anus, so maybe I have been betrayed.

Ignorance is bliss

<--- is that what happened in your anus?

 

[Heretic]

Okay, okay we believe you. You are just a glorified roadie, stop name dropping, next thing you know you'll be providing these bands phone numbers and betraying their trust.

Okay...lets get the record straight...

I stated that i dont trust my friends with my phone.

People said it was ridiculous over something so small

I stated that my cell phone was important for my career.

People said "youre lying about your career"

I am able to PROVE that I am exactly what I claim to be...which is a mostly unknown, low level, semi successful cog in the music machine.

And that is name-dropping????

I love that..

"Heretic is a liar...he doenst work with bands...and if he proves it or names any bands then hes namedropping!!!"

So yeah...thats why you win arguments...because your stance changes over and over again. My doesnt...so no matter what, i cant hit your standard.

and amazing fantasy...there are horrific betrayals of trust...and small betrayals of trust. Either way, its trust being broken. People claim theyve never had their trust broken, and I say hogwash.

I had my girlfriend promise to never look at whatever Myspace page I happen to be logged into. I handle some Myspace accounts for some pretty successful bands. One day I left the room and came back later and she was reading emails directed towards a pretty famous band. She violated my trust. Is it a big deal? Not really...other than I trusted her and believed she wouldnt read emails intended for someone shes never met. So...do I trust my girlfriend with open Myspace accounts??? No, I do not. She has proven that she cant be trusted. Again...NOT a big deal...but it happened.

 

[Erzengel]

It's not your fault Heretic.

 

[SsM]

I think all of you are taking this argument a bit too seriously.. Or are faking seriousness.. or whatever...

 

[Eggyman]

<--- is that what happened in your anus?

I'm not quite sure, but it'd make sense that they were wearing purple pants.

 

[ComicChick]

That sounds like you are sorry for something. Have you been cheating on me! I knew it

 

[knowsbleed]

This has gotten just... Bizarre. I have also never been raped or murdered by a friend.

I was murdered once... then I got better.

 

[The Guard]

Eight...other...guys?

How is that possible? Does he see his girlfriend like, once a month or something?

I'm not even sure what Heretic is arguing that others are arguing about.

Is he arguing that someone said there's never been someone who hasn't been betrayed? Or that people betray other people? Has anyone even contested this? Has anyone here even claimed not to have ever been betrayed? Regardless, his "polite indignation" is getting a bit extreme. If you're a...whatever...then you're a whatever. Why do you care if people believe you?

 

[Heretic]

I'm not even sure what Heretic is arguing that others are arguing about.

Is he arguing that someone said there's never been someone who hasn't been betrayed? Or that people betray other people? Has anyone even contested this? Has anyone here even claimed not to have ever been betrayed? Regardless, his "polite indignation" is getting a bit extreme. If you're a...whatever...then you're a whatever. Why do you care if people believe you?

Even Im sick of it.

Its not a matter if people "believe" me...it is documented FACT.

Ask any police officer...ask any judge...most crimes are committed by people the victim trusts. The members of SHH refute these facts and have decided that every victim ever is an idiot who should have known better. The trust that SHH members give in their friends will never be betrayed...because they are wiser than everyone else.

Also, no one in this thread has ever had their trust violated in any way by another human being...ever.

This thread is miraculous if you ask me.

 

[ComicChick]

Thats why the phone numbers on my cell phone will NEVER get out. Thats my entire point...Im not going to blindly trust my friends...its my career were talking about...if I was an idiot I would trust my friends...but Im not...thats my point. trust is stupid when your career is on the line. Its not like I tell people 'I have "insert rock star"s phone number. If Im on tour with a band, and Im one of the ones responsible for them being where they sshould be, it is common sense to know that I would have access to their cell phones if I needed to call them.

ok, you mentioned your phone a lot. and you've also mentioned that you have left it in a room with your friends.

if you have these celebrities phone numbers, contact infos, etc, aren't they misplacing trust in you by giving it you? if people are how you say, you are leaving the phone in a place where the information can be compromised. therefore you are placing them at risk of the info being put out publicly or something to that effect.
for that reason, following your thoughts of how untrustworthy people are, am i right to assume that they should not trust you with this information in case?

 

[Heretic]

ok, you mentioned your phone a lot. and you've also mentioned that you have left it in a room with your friends.

if you have these celebrities phone numbers, contact infos, etc, aren't they misplacing trust in you by giving it you? if people are how you say, you are leaving the phone in a place where the information can be compromised. therefore you are placing them at risk of the info being put out publicly or something to that effect.
for that reason, following your thoughts of how untrustworthy people are, am i right to assume that they should not trust you with this information in case?

Ah...Im surprised that you failed to read where I said that i DO NOT trust my friends with my phone, do NOT leave it out of my site for longer than a minute...and just in case something were to happen, there is a lock on my phone to prevent anyone but me from seeing whats on it.

So...when it comes to my career, apparently I've got the privacy issue under control.

Thanks for playing along.


PS: I will point out that my statements regarding how I do not trust people wiith my cell phone was the spark of a multi-page discussion where my position was that in important matters such as that, no one can fully be trusted...and many people disagreed with me...even calling into question that my entire life is a fraud. Im pretty shocked that now the argument has turned into how Im NOT wary enough of my friends...I mean...me being TOO WARY is what the past 10 pages are all about!

 

[ShadowBoxing]

Okay, okay we believe you. You are just a glorified roadie, stop name dropping, next thing you know you'll be providing these bands phone numbers and betraying their trust.

You know what, he's more like Taiwarriorz21 and Ghostrider87's kid...not so much Moviefan. The name dropping is classic Taiwarriorz.

 

[Heretic]

You know what, he's more like Taiwarriorz21 and Ghostrider87's kid...not so much Moviefan. The name dropping is classic Taiwarriorz.

And why did I namedrop?????

OH YEAH! Because you called me a fraud, tried to get the board to think Im some 14 year old kid and all I have to do is simply send a link to the hundreds of concerts Ive done, cds Im thanked on, music articles Im quoted in etc...

So this "hes namedropping" thing is boring and useless...if you werent so impressed with the concept that someone could be an unknown, underpaid music business lackey then it wouldnt seem like such a big deal.

 

[ComicChick]

Here's my stand on it. My stand only.

I've been lied to before. I've been cheated on. Yeah, I've even had friends backstab me in the past. BUT, do I let these things dictate my life with those around me? NO. When I meet someone new, I don't immediately think of all the ways they can betray me or hurt me in the future. I don't think of all the horrible things they could be capable of or could potentially do in the future.
When I think of my friends, my mind isn't filled with the could be and all the horrible and negatives things that could possibly happen. When I'm with my guy friends, I don't worry about them raping me. Could it ever happen? Statistically speaking, yes. Do I like to think they could do that to me? No.

I prefer not to dwell on all the horrible attrocities and bad things that people can do and all the horrible things that have been done throughout history and whatnot. Yes, it is stated that most criminal acts are committed by someone you know, BUT NOT ALL. I think this is the argument some have been trying to convey. Someone else also mentioned that throughout history and the media and whatnot, the negative news seems to appeal more to the viewers and public and are publicized more than the positive things. I can see this in my local news reports; the negative things get more air time than the good things, so I can make the assumption that more of the 'bad' things in history have been documented and easier to remember than the positives.

By no way am I saying that horrible things don't happen. Bad things have happened to me, but I don't let them dictate me and my view on the world and relationships.

and what does it say about as people? so it's human nature to kill rape and betray people's trust? if its human nature, it's ok? no, i don't agree with that at all. i choose to go against human nature per se, and i do my best to be loyal to those in my life and in return hope my actions make them want to do the same.
when i am told an important secret, i don't divulge it to anyone. when someone wants me to house watch while they are out of town or feed their dogs, they have no worries. when they come back, their house will be in the same condition and their animals will be watered and fed. if i'm holding their wallet or their phone, it's got the same amount of money and the phone hasn't been gone through.

 

[Heretic]

Here's my stand on it. My stand only.

I've been lied to before. I've been cheated on. Yeah, I've even had friends backstab me in the past. BUT, do I let these things dictate my life with those around me? NO. When I meet someone new, I don't immediately think of all the ways they can betray me or hurt me in the future. I don't think of all the horrible things they could be capable of or could potentially do in the future.
When I think of my friends, my mind isn't filled with the could be and all the horrible and negatives things that could possibly happen. When I'm with my guy friends, I don't worry about them raping me. Could it ever happen? Statistically speaking, yes. Do I like to think they could do that to me? No.

I prefer not to dwell on all the horrible attrocities and bad things that people can do and all the horrible things that have been done throughout history and whatnot. Yes, it is stated that most criminal acts are committed by someone you know, BUT NOT ALL. I think this is the argument some have been trying to convey. Someone else also mentioned that throughout history and the media and whatnot, the negative news seems to appeal more to the viewers and public and are publicized more than the positive things. I can see this in my local news reports; the negative things get more air time than the good things, so I can make the assumption that more of the 'bad' things in history have been documented and easier to remember than the positives.

By no way am I saying that horrible things don't happen. Bad things have happened to me, but I don't let them dictate me and my view on the world and relationships.

and what does it say about as people? so it's human nature to kill rape and betray people's trust? if its human nature, it's ok? no, i don't agree with that at all. i choose to go against human nature per se, and i do my best to be loyal to those in my life and in return hope my actions make them want to do the same.
when i am told an important secret, i don't divulge it to anyone. when someone wants me to house watch while they are out of town or feed their dogs, they have no worries. when they come back, their house will be in the same condition and their animals will be watered and fed. if i'm holding their wallet or their phone, it's got the same amount of money and the phone hasn't been gone through.

That sounds reasonable...in fact its exactly how I live my life. If you look over this thread NEVER have I mentioned anything about suspecting my friends of evildoing or altering my life in any way. People Ive never met who post here have posted their opinions on how I run my life, but I personally havent said anything even remotely like that.

The fact is this...understand that the risk is always there...live your life intelligently...if you're black, it may not be a good idea to go to that KKK meeting in the woods...dont alter your life in any way...but dont be stupid.

The people who have been disagreeing with me have flat out said that there is NO RISK in their lives of having their trust betrayed...and thats just ignorant.

 

[ComicChick]

Ah...Im surprised that you failed to read where I said that i DO NOT trust my friends with my phone, do NOT leave it out of my site for longer than a minute...and just in case something were to happen, there is a lock on my phone to prevent anyone but me from seeing whats on it.

Take my cell phone for instance...no one is allowed to mess with it, right? Okay...now...I WILL leave the room without it...trusting my friends not to grab it. I trust my friends...Ive told them to never touch my cell phone and I trust that they never will. However, as I said, if I come back and its in their hands...they have already broken my trust...my phone numbers arent getting stolen...the act of grabbing my phone was the breach of trust, not a crime committed against me.

i was just saying that since you said that you do not trust your friends much, but do leave your phone out, it's not so different. you never mentioned the password thing before.

 

[ComicChick]

And why did I namedrop?????

OH YEAH! Because you called me a fraud, tried to get the board to think Im some 14 year old kid and all I have to do is simply send a link to the hundreds of concerts Ive done, cds Im thanked on, music articles Im quoted in etc...

So this "hes namedropping" thing is boring and useless...if you werent so impressed with the concept that someone could be an unknown, underpaid music business lackey then it wouldnt seem like such a big deal.

i never discredited your profession. i have no reason to not believe you, so i never thought second of it. Last night I worked the for the Eagles at their concert, and last year worked gigs for various other bands being that I am employed by EMI/Live Nation. i have no reason to believe you made up your profession and i would think you have no reason not to believe me as well.

but on the subject that you claim people are calling you a fraud; wouldn't that someone be expected. as in they don't trust you to tell the truth. it's the whole mistrusting people part of human nature not to believe someone like that right? i'm not saying this to start an argument, just trying to bring up another side point on the topic at hand.

 

[Captain Planet!]

I trust all women with my man.

 

[ComicChick]

That sounds reasonable...in fact its exactly how I live my life. If you look over this thread NEVER have I mentioned anything about suspecting my friends of evildoing or altering my life in any way. People Ive never met who post here have posted their opinions on how I run my life, but I personally havent said anything even remotely like that.

The fact is this...understand that the risk is always there...live your life intelligently...if you're black, it may not be a good idea to go to that KKK meeting in the woods...dont alter your life in any way...but dont be stupid.

The people who have been disagreeing with me have flat out said that there is NO RISK in their lives of having their trust betrayed...and thats just ignorant.

this post makes a lot more sense to me than some of the other posts you have made. it's succint and to the point. i prefer when people make their beliefs known without generalizations and actually explain their sides in their words. this post helps me try to understand your side better.

i haven't infered from anyone else's posts that they said they have had NO RISK in their lives. I have inferred that they choose to not let these betrayals dictate the relationships in their lives. some of the examples of "betrayal" people have mentioned are in my opinion, minor things that do not really constitute betrayal in my mind.

example: i expect someone to be somewhere, they say they will be there, but are late.
depending on the severity of their appearance, i don't immediately think i've been betrayed. I may be let down by them not showing on time, but i will let them explain themselves before anything else. there could be factors out of their control that may have prevented them being on time.
case in point, i was scheduled to be at the concert venue at 530 last nite and it was in another city, roughly 30-45 minutes away. I left about 415 and there was a huge traffic jamming accident cloggin up all lanes of the interstate. considering that the way to the venue involves part of this interstate going over a lengthy bridge, once you got to a certain part of the highway, you couldn't go around or take a side route because, well you were on a bridge withnose to nose traffic. I got there about 5pm, was actually early. but i left a lot earlier because i thought traffic may be bad. purpose of all this is that sometimes stuff happens that you cant control, that may effect you. i can't blame a person for being a lil late from being caught in traffic from an accident that they had nothing to do with can i?
if it was something like they were just lazy and are bad with punctuality, then that's another thing. but i think the longer you are in contact with someone, you can infer these types of things about them and adjust/adapt to them.

 

[Heretic]

i was just saying that since you said that you do not trust your friends much, but do leave your phone out, it's not so different. you never mentioned the password thing before.

yes I did...in a different post. Someone asked me why i didnt just passwrod protect it, and I told them that I DO, but that isnt the point. I ask my friends not to grab my phone. The violation is in the grab, not the stealing of numbers. However, if they do grab it, I have a password.

Sorry you missed that post, but Im not searching for it. It way back in the thread.

 

[ComicChick]

yes I did...in a different post. Someone asked me why i didnt just passwrod protect it, and I told them that I DO, but that isnt the point. I ask my friends not to grab my phone. The violation is in the grab, not the stealing of numbers. However, if they do grab it, I have a password.

Sorry you missed that post, but Im not searching for it. It way back in the thread.

it's ok. i don't think it is truly that integral to the discussion.

i don't think it's wrong to password protect your phone. i have my voicemail password protected because i've lost my phone before.

there are some people i prefer not to leave things like a wallet or phone around because i don't really know them. i prefer to use 'trust' in reference to people i actually interact with and consider "in my circle". if i don't know you, i am more cautious than i am with people i know and am comfortable with. but i'm not so overly wary that i am constantly worrying if they are going through my stuff, stealing, etc.

i have friends that i trust a lot that i have no qualms about leaving my stuff with and around. some for reasons that i know that they won't go through my stuff, and others, if they do go through my stuff, example being my phone, i know it won't matter. i've had these friends pick up my phone, check the time and put it back because they don't have one or aren't carrying theirs or have a watch.

 

[Heretic]

example: i expect someone to be somewhere, they say they will be there, but are late.
depending on the severity of their appearance, i don't immediately think i've been betrayed. I may be let down by them not showing on time, but i will let them explain themselves before anything else. there could be factors out of their control that may have prevented them being on time.
case in point, i was scheduled to be at the concert venue at 530 last nite and it was in another city, roughly 30-45 minutes away. I left about 415 and there was a huge traffic jamming accident cloggin up all lanes of the interstate. considering that the way to the venue involves part of this interstate going over a lengthy bridge, once you got to a certain part of the highway, you couldn't go around or take a side route because, well you were on a bridge withnose to nose traffic. I got there about 5pm, was actually early. but i left a lot earlier because i thought traffic may be bad. purpose of all this is that sometimes stuff happens that you cant control, that may effect you. i can't blame a person for being a lil late from being caught in traffic from an accident that they had nothing to do with can i?
if it was something like they were just lazy and are bad with punctuality, then that's another thing. but i think the longer you are in contact with someone, you can infer these types of things about them and adjust/adapt to them.

I agree that there are degrees of betrayal...and there are just plain mistakes. Dropping a knife and it accidentally cutting me is different from stabbing me in the chest with the knife. Again, I have never said anything that contradicts that.

As i stated in my example of someone who was supposed to be somewhere and no-showed...she was supposed to be filming footage for a nationally released music DVD that millions of dollars will be spent on. Her no-show was a HUGE deal...but as I explained...I prepared for it by bringing my own camera. There is a big difference between forgetting to pick up the laundry and deciding against working a million dollar video shoot without telling anyone. My lack of trust in her ability to be professional saved my rear end.

Everyone seems so focused on the BIG betrayals..."Ive never been betrayed by a friend". Thats just complete hogwash. If your friend lies to you, or about you, its a betrayal...friends betray friends in small ways CONSTANTLY...and you rarely see it coming. Sadly, we hear the news every day where someone has been murdered by someone they trusted, but its not all about that. When you say "I trust my friends and I am in no danger of being betrayed" then thats an idiotic statement. Whether its your best friend sleeping with your spouse, or your father abusing you, or your best friend telling a secret that you made them promise not to tell...everyone has had their trust betrayed.

 

[ComicChick]

I agree that there are degrees of betrayal...and there are just plain mistakes. Dropping a knife and it accidentally cutting me is different from stabbing me in the chest with the knife. Again, I have never said anything that contradicts that.

As i stated in my example of someone who was supposed to be somewhere and no-showed...she was supposed to be filming footage for a nationally released music DVD that millions of dollars will be spent on. Her no-show was a HUGE deal...but as I explained...I prepared for it by bringing my own camera. There is a big difference between forgetting to pick up the laundry and deciding against working a million dollar video shoot without telling anyone. My lack of trust in her ability to be professional saved my rear end.

Everyone seems so focused on the BIG betrayals..."Ive never been betrayed by a friend". Thats just complete hogwash. If your friend lies to you, or about you, its a betrayal...friends betray friends in small ways CONSTANTLY...and you rarely see it coming. Sadly, we hear the news every day where someone has been murdered by someone they trusted, but its not all about that. When you say "I trust my friends and I am in no danger of being betrayed" then thats an idiotic statement. Whether its your best friend sleeping with your spouse, or your father abusing you, or your best friend telling a secret that you made them promise not to tell...everyone has had their trust betrayed.

i've still yet to see where anyone has said in here that they've never been betrayed.

i don't know that it is focusing on the big betrayals, or simply letting the smaller ones the person deems insignificant, fall away so to speak. like you said, dropping a knife and cutting someone is a whole lot different than someone stabbing you. i think it's logical to assume most would agree.

but like in a lot of things, people base their trust in different actions in different ways. with the instance of your sister not showing up for a job, i agree that it was very irresponsible on her part. if she is starting up a business, that doesn't show the professionalism that her company probably wants to convey. there's nothing wrong with you having a backup plan. especially when it comes to work, i think it's smart to have backup plans and have all things covered as best as you can.

for other things, such as lying, there are different levels of betrayal. there are some things that there are no excuse for betraying a person's trust. sometimes there are instances, although rare, where breaching that trust is actually a good thing. say your friend tells you they plan to kill themself in a week. do you keep their secret and not tell anyone? or do you tell someone in hopes of preventing your friend from following through and thus saving their life. sure this is an extreme instance, of which i am aware.

i just think that some people deem certain acts more heinous than others. there are some acts that i simply don't think i could condone (ie: molestation, rape, murder, cheating, abuse as other examples)
but there are things that i deem minor that i can move on and live past. i think these factors (of what we deem major betrayal or something minor) depend on each person individually. not everyone will ever agree wholeheartedly.