Darthphere Presents: Chivalry is Dead. So what?

[Darthphere]

when do basic manners cross over and become chivalrous? people seem to have different ideas of which is which (moreso in lifetime convos than on here)

and for the record, i don't want any guy putting his jacket down so i can step over a puddle. for one, it'll ruin your jacket.

I always wondered if people actually did that. Why not just walk around it? or better yet, carry her over the puddle?

 

[ComicChick]

i've only seen it done on tv/film, it's completely dumb

i would not let you put that dirty wet jacket back on, or in my car, etc. just a ludicrous idea to me

 

[SpideyVille]

when do basic manners cross over and become chivalrous? people seem to have different ideas of which is which (moreso in lifetime convos than on here)

I think its chivalrous when its something a guy would do for a female that he wouldn't normally do for a guy. Like if a guy is walking with a female on a cold day and he is wearing a jacket and she isn't, it is expected of him as an act of chivalry that he gives her the jacket to stay warm. On the flip side, if a guy did that to a male friend of his, it would be nice of him, but I wouldn't consider it as chivalrous. Same goes for things like carrying something for them, holding out their chair, etc.

and for the record, i don't want any guy putting his jacket down so i can step over a puddle. for one, it'll ruin your jacket.

I never really understood that. I mean, why couldn't the guy just carry her over the puddle or walk around it or something.

 

[ComicChick]

I think its chivalrous when its something a guy would do for a female that he wouldn't normally do for a guy. Like if a guy is walking with a female on a cold day and he is wearing a jacket and she isn't, it is expected of him as an act of chivalry that he gives her the jacket to stay warm. On the flip side, if a guy did that to a male friend of his, it would be nice of him, but I wouldn't consider it as chivalrous. Same goes for things like carrying something for them, holding out their chair, etc.

i can agree with these. im actually not a fan of the holding out the chair thing. i'd be ok with them pulling them out but then go sit down, i don't want you helping me scoot up to the table haha

 

[Darthphere]

I usually just wait for her to be seated before I sit myself. The scooting thing is too complicated.

 

[SpideyVille]

i can agree with these. im actually not a fan of the holding out the chair thing. i'd be ok with them pulling them out but then go sit down, i don't want you helping me scoot up to the table haha

My mom was making fun of my brother because we had a video of him from his wedding where after the first dance, he and his wife went to sit down, and the host from the reception hall did the chair thing for his wife while my brother just sat down like normal. My mom thought that was my brother's job to do.

 

[ComicChick]

I usually just wait for her to be seated before I sit myself. The scooting thing is too complicated.

it is, and if the lady is "busty" and you scoot her too far that could end up being awkward if the table bumps lol

 

[Shlee]

it is, and if the lady is "busty" and you scoot her too far that could end up being awkward if the table bumps lol

Story of my life.

 

[Darthphere]

Story of my life.

...

 

[ComicChick]

Story of my life.

ditto

 

[Spidey-Bat]

I love how this thread reminds me of Seinfeld.

 

[ComicChick]

so who's kramer?

 

[THE MR. TERRIFIC]

I still open my wife's car door. I don't pull out he chair at the resteraunt though because she like booths. I'm old school so I'm pretty chivalrous.

 

[SpideyVille]

I always though the woman was just supposed to sit in the chair and then adjust the level of scooting in on her own.

The car door thing, though, is something I haven't seen in a long time. Guess I gotta remember to add that to my list.

 

[twylight]

I had a conversation with my brother about this thread and he mentioned a few things worth noting. I mentioned how I expected the guy to pay if he asked me out. I consider it part of 'wooing' He invoked the quote of Hitch and said the guy had already wooed me.

Anyway, he always pays for his girlfriend unless they go for fast food, or she specifically stipulates she's paying. He considers it to be showing he cares.

Yeah, I've never had the guy scoot a chair for me. Pull it out and allow me to sit but I always adjust it on my own.

I still open my wife's car door.

I don't see that as chivalrous though, that's just caring. It's not technically 'courteous' since she's not a stranger but it's something you do, that you don't really need to. You care about her so you go out of your way to show it. Actions speak louder than words and all that.

 

[Spidey-Bat]

so who's kramer?

The subject is more something Jerry, George, and Elaine would discuss. Kramer is oblivious to social norms and has that "lure of the animal" that make women do anything to be with him.

 

[THE MR. TERRIFIC]

I had a conversation with my brother about this thread and he mentioned a few things worth noting. I mentioned how I expected the guy to pay if he asked me out. I consider it part of 'wooing' He invoked the quote of Hitch and said the guy had already wooed me.

Anyway, he always pays for his girlfriend unless they go for fast food, or she specifically stipulates she's paying. He considers it to be showing he cares.

Yeah, I've never had the guy scoot a chair for me. Pull it out and allow me to sit but I always adjust it on my own.



I don't see that as chivalrous though, that's just caring. It's not technically 'courteous' since she's not a stranger but it's something you do, that you don't really need to. You care about her so you go out of your way to show it. Actions speak louder than words and all that.

So anything I do for my wife is not chivalrous because I know her?

 

[SpideyVille]

I think once you're in a long-term relationship with someone, especially a marriage, its more expected that you do those things. I said it before, I always though of a chivalry as part of the wooing process, and its not a matter of it being dead, but rather than its not looked at the same way since now guys can get with girls in other ways than just doing something nice for them.

Not to mention, back in the dead, it wasn't really the woman's role to ask for a date or to woo a guy, so it was more on the guy to make the first step. But that's not really the case anymore. Girls can be more active in their pursuit of a guy, whether it be just for the night or something more committed.

But it's like once you're past that point of getting her attention and keeping it, its no longer chivalrous because you're expected to do so, only now, if you don't chances are you wife/gf won't dismiss you unless you're completely careless with her.

 

[THE MR. TERRIFIC]

Oh ok. I'm just being a good Hubby then.

 

[SpideyVille]

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Last week I was at my brother's wedding and before the reception, all of the groomsmen and bridesmaid were taking pictures. It was really cold and windy out and part of me felt really bad because the girl I was paired with was freezing, but it took me a while to give her my jacket because I had never met her before that day, plus I knew she had a boyfriend and I didn't want her to think I was hitting on her or something. The funny thing is my friend and his girlfriend were there too and he didn't give her his jacket at all until the very end.

 

[Mace Dolex]

If it's a real hot chick that I want to bone I do those chivalry things for her to notice me at least.

 

[terry78]

If it's a real hot chick that I want to bone I do those chivalry things for her to notice me at least.

If they're a fug, tough ****, huh?

 

[THE MR. TERRIFIC]

Fug girls need love too!

 

[Shlee]

ditto

 

[Spidey-Bat]

I don't recall where I read this online, but what about using coupon/gift card on a date? My opinion is that if you're going to be judgmental about using them, you can pay for your own damn meal