I got a date!

[chamber-music]

Shh is a blog now?

good luck Kainedamo

 

[kainedamo]

Well, for me it is!

 

[Immortalfire]

Put on a nice shirt and turn on the charm button. Good luck!t:

This is the only button he has..

 

[Mee]

He couldn't afford the Easy Button.

 

[Erzengel]

On LSP, he said he wrote a lengthy text message chronicalling the extent of the date to her. LOL

 

[Mee]

It's called prep time. He must be ready for anything.

 

[Sloth7d]

Do you share any common interest with her or are you just trying to bang her? Because if you're just trying to bang her you're going about this all wrong.

 

[the_ultimate_evil]

he's on the hunt again i go to warn the women of belfast

AWAY

 

[Erzengel]

It's called prep time. He must be ready for anything.

Yeah of course most guys do plan out everything to the second, they just make it look spontaneous. You don't tell her everything you want to do.

 

[Mee]

Yeah of course most guys do plan out everything to the degree, they just make it look spontaneous. You don't tell her everything you want to do.

You have to put your foot down early.


Show her who wears the pants.

 

[Erzengel]

I can already tell it's going to be the girl.

 

[Sloth7d]

That reminded me of that Bugs bunny episode.

 

[the_ultimate_evil]

I can already tell it's going to be the girl.

thats not too bad every so often, its just when she takes them off and everythings not normal then you need to run

 

[jaguarr]

Consider for a moment, kaine, that perhaps she's just as socially awkward and shy as you are. Given the context that you met her in, you both share an interest in something that is outside the norm and many people carry insecurity or embarrassment over their sexual proclivities that lie outside of the mainstream (this is particularly true with newbies to the scene). It's really a great starting point for a pretty intimate and meaningful conversation because it's something she can't talk about with just anyone. Ask her when she first realized she was different and how that made her feel. How does that make her feel now and how does she deal with that in an otherwise vanilla world? Relate your own feelings about this. Keep it intellectual in nature, using it as a way to break the ice and get to know each other, and avoid letting it get into any sort of lascivious tone. But let that conversation happen naturally. Don't force it. If she doesn't want to talk about those things, change it up and talk about the music you like and see if you can get her to talk about that. Think of good conversation as a dance. If you are a good enough lead, she'll follow and dance with you (and it does take two to do this dance, otherwise you're just some jackass dancing next to someone who doesn't want to dance with you).

The fact that this girl immediately steered you away from the weekend and to Wednesday, tells me she's willing to give you a chance. But, Wednesday is a "safe" date day because you can't keep her out too late since she'll have school or work or whatever the next day. It's a way for her to opt out of the date early if you bore or frighten her somehow. Knowing the context of how you met (I'm assuming this girl is a sub, since you fancy yourself a Top), this is your one chance to show her you're confident (not cocky or arrogant), respectful of her limits and not too pushy (which I'm sure she's encountered plenty of in many of the male Tops she's met, which is really a turnoff for most people funny enough). Keep it simple like coffee and a walk as Erz suggested and play it cool. See if you can get her to do most of the talking and LISTEN to what she has to say. Most brilliant conversationalists have a talent for getting people to really talk about their favorite subject...themselves. So don't go out of your way to tell her all about you. Leave some mystery there and get her to talk about herself. The trick is to not sound like a stalker or freak while doing it, so stay casual about your questions and....MOST IMPORTANTLY....just have a fun time and enjoy getting to know her. The bigger of a deal you make it out to be in your mind, the more anxiety you'll have over it and the more likely you'll be to f**k it up. Just...have...fun. It's coffee and a walk, not a marriage planning session. Play your cards right and maybe she'll go out with you on a weekend sometime.

jag

 

[Sloth7d]

Transexual FTW?

 

[Superman79]

He couldn't afford the Easy Button.

LOL!!

I could've used an Easy Button this weekend...

 

[Superman79]

Holy S**t!

I just saw a pig fly by my window!

 

[Kaboom]

Consider for a moment, kaine, that perhaps she's just as socially awkward and shy as you are. Given the context that you met her in, you both share an interest in something that is outside the norm and many people carry insecurity or embarrassment over their sexual proclivities that lie outside of the mainstream (this is particularly true with newbies to the scene). It's really a great starting point for a pretty intimate and meaningful conversation because it's something she can't talk about with just anyone. Ask her when she first realized she was different and how that made her feel. How does that make her feel now and how does she deal with that in an otherwise vanilla world? Relate your own feelings about this. Keep it intellectual in nature, using it as a way to break the ice and get to know each other, and avoid letting it get into any sort of lascivious tone. But let that conversation happen naturally. Don't force it. If she doesn't want to talk about those things, change it up and talk about the music you like and see if you can get her to talk about that. Think of good conversation as a dance. If you are a good enough lead, she'll follow and dance with you (and it does take two to do this dance, otherwise you're just some jackass dancing next to someone who doesn't want to dance with you).

The fact that this girl immediately steered you away from the weekend and to Wednesday, tells me she's willing to give you a chance. But, Wednesday is a "safe" date day because you can't keep her out too late since she'll have school or work or whatever the next day. It's a way for her to opt out of the date early if you bore or frighten her somehow. Knowing the context of how you met (I'm assuming this girl is a sub, since you fancy yourself a Top), this is your one chance to show her you're confident (not cocky or arrogant), respectful of her limits and not too pushy (which I'm sure she's encountered plenty of in many of the male Tops she's met, which is really a turnoff for most people funny enough). Keep it simple like coffee and a walk as Erz suggested and play it cool. See if you can get her to do most of the talking and LISTEN to what she has to say. Most brilliant conversationalists have a talent for getting people to really talk about their favorite subject...themselves. So don't go out of your way to tell her all about you. Leave some mystery there and get her to talk about herself. The trick is to not sound like a stalker or freak while doing it, so stay casual about your questions and....MOST IMPORTANTLY....just have a fun time and enjoy getting to know her. The bigger of a deal you make it out to be in your mind, the more anxiety you'll have over it and the more likely you'll be to f**k it up. Just...have...fun. It's coffee and a walk, not a marriage planning session. Play your cards right and maybe she'll go out with you on a weekend sometime.

jag

i had no idea you you were such a philosopher.

 

[Kaboom]

Holy S**t!

I just saw a pig fly by my window!

 

[the_ultimate_evil]

hey now that i think about when i went to college today, i did notice that strange man running run the streets, hmm seemed excited

 

[Calvin]

The future thread possibilities to come forth from this are mouth-watering.

 

[kainedamo]

Consider for a moment, kaine, that perhaps she's just as socially awkward and shy as you are. Given the context that you met her in, you both share an interest in something that is outside the norm and many people carry insecurity or embarrassment over their sexual proclivities that lie outside of the mainstream (this is particularly true with newbies to the scene). It's really a great starting point for a pretty intimate and meaningful conversation because it's something she can't talk about with just anyone. Ask her when she first realized she was different and how that made her feel. How does that make her feel now and how does she deal with that in an otherwise vanilla world? Relate your own feelings about this. Keep it intellectual in nature, using it as a way to break the ice and get to know each other, and avoid letting it get into any sort of lascivious tone. But let that conversation happen naturally. Don't force it. If she doesn't want to talk about those things, change it up and talk about the music you like and see if you can get her to talk about that.

Excellent suggestion, Jag. I considered this as a topic myself. I asked her a little about it before but didn't pry too much. That's how I gathered that shes a sub. So I could bring it up on Wednesday, ask her about when she first knew, and... what she feels about people being so closed off about their sexuality, has she felt like she's had to hide it from friends to a certain extent, etc.

Think of good conversation as a dance. If you are a good enough lead, she'll follow and dance with you (and it does take two to do this dance, otherwise you're just some jackass dancing next to someone who doesn't want to dance with you).

The fact that this girl immediately steered you away from the weekend and to Wednesday, tells me she's willing to give you a chance. But, Wednesday is a "safe" date day because you can't keep her out too late since she'll have school or work or whatever the next day.

It's plausable that it was just the first available day.

It's a way for her to opt out of the date early if you bore or frighten her somehow. Knowing the context of how you met (I'm assuming this girl is a sub, since you fancy yourself a Top), this is your one chance to show her you're confident (not cocky or arrogant), respectful of her limits and not too pushy (which I'm sure she's encountered plenty of in many of the male Tops she's met, which is really a turnoff for most people funny enough).

This is where I believe I'll have an advantage. She's bound to have bumped into the arrogant types, right? Well, I definately don't come off as arrogant in anyway. I'm a respecful guy, like to think I'm a gentleman. Just need to relax on the date and be confident, be comfortable.

Keep it simple like coffee and a walk as Erz suggested and play it cool. See if you can get her to do most of the talking and LISTEN to what she has to say. Most brilliant conversationalists have a talent for getting people to really talk about their favorite subject...themselves. So don't go out of your way to tell her all about you. Leave some mystery there and get her to talk about herself. The trick is to not sound like a stalker or freak while doing it, so stay casual about your questions and....MOST IMPORTANTLY....just have a fun time and enjoy getting to know her. The bigger of a deal you make it out to be in your mind, the more anxiety you'll have over it and the more likely you'll be to f**k it up. Just...have...fun. It's coffee and a walk, not a marriage planning session. Play your cards right and maybe she'll go out with you on a weekend sometime.

I agree that probably the only way I'll **** it up for myself is over thinking it and therefore becoming very anxious about it. If I just chill out, I'll be fine.

Is it wrong that I've written a list of conversation ideas? LOL.

 

[Erzengel]

Not to sound mean or anything...but where are you getting the money to take her out?

 

[kainedamo]

Not to sound mean or anything...but where are you getting the money to take her out?

I went to the cash machine to check if I had anything to take out. I'm 2 quid short of a tenner, which means I can't take out anything at all. In my room, I can probably scrape together enough change for a tenner. Probably. I'll see if my buddy Seamus could lend me a tenner till Thursday when I can pay him back.

 

[kainedamo]

The date was okay.

We met up at one outside the cinema. I bought the tickets, but she insisted on buying the food at the concessions. We shared some minstrels during the film. The film itself was okay - Curse of the Golden Flower. Its much less action orientated than the other films these guys made, and was a bit slow to start. She thought it was great, and had never seen any of these films. I said to her at the end of the movie I could lend her Hero and Fearless, she said I should lend her them next time we meet up. Not long after the film, she said she had to get back home and finish off some work. In fact, she had rung me up earlier today to tell me she might be late 'cause she had some work, but she wasn't late at all.

I don't know if I'm coming across as confident or what, but I felt fine today. She doesn't seem that talkative, I don't know if thats down to me or not. But I did make her laugh a few times, and I do like her. I don't know... I offered to walk her to her car but she said she was fine. I'm not gonna worry about it too much.