I think my neighbor...

[Excel]

go talk to him. say i think i saw your wife last weke or something.

 

[X-Chick]

Don't be dumb.

 

[Corinthian™]

Don't be dumb.

holly **** ghost from the past!

IT'S AN X-CHICK!

 

[X-Chick]

I already posted here once and you ignored me.

 

[Corinthian™]

I already posted here once and you ignored me.

I've ADD

 

[Gotendbz-2]

I have to go back.

I left my glasses there.

Are you back yet? It's been an hour and 6 minutes. Oh no, I think he's dead.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

I've ADD

I like contractions used in that way.
Lumberjack's "I have HIV" thread would've been so much more suave if the title was, "I've HIV".

 

[C. Lee]

Spawn's dead by now


he told me so

Spawn of the Dead

 

[Assassin]

is he back yet? dun dun dunn

 

[Corinthian™]

I like contractions used in that way.
Lumberjack's "I have HIV" thread would've been so much more suave if the title was, "I've HIV".

I'm afraid you may be playing with my stupid mind and I used the "I've" incorrectly...

spare me

 

[X-Ray]

I have to go back.

I left my glasses there.

Hopefully you went back with a weapon. But seeing how it's been 2 hours since this post was put up .......












I guess not.

 

[X-Chick]

I doubt he'd be stupid enough to go unarmed. He's just being mean.

 

[Danalys]

the lack of 03

 

[X-Chick]

Huh?

 

[The Spawn]

Back again...after I got my glasses I had to take them apart, they're not really glasses...

All right, basically I went right over there to ask for a lawn mower. It the back of my mind, I knew he knew that I had a lawn mower…it pretty much came with the butler. So I thought about something else I could ask for of his when in the corner of my eye I saw the blinds of window on the top floor open. They could have been curtains, not sure. Anyway, before I knew it, I was at his door and knocked three times. People had just gone in, so I figured it wouldn’t be too long before the door opened.

It must have been three minutes before the door opened and he was standing right in front of me with an artificial smile on his face…it could have been real, who am I to judge?

I had ADD for like two seconds, I don’t borrow things from people…ever. I’m like very germ conscious…plus I hate humans. Loathe the lot.

Anyway, the words came out…“Hey…neighbor.”

He just looked at me, analyzed me.

“Can I borrow your wee whacker?”

Now…I know everything about everyone within a five block radius of this mans driveway, him included…his response wasn’t what I expected.

“Nope.”

For the first time in my life I felt like I was actually wrong…I was actually breathless.

“No…?” Was all I could say. Then he just stared at me for a good long awkward time and said, “Oh! [My first name], I’m sorry, sure!”

It was like déjà vu…he’d gone back to his old self and let the door open wide. In his living room sat the guys who had come in before. Except it seemed as though one was missing from the group. Not sure.

What I am sure about is none of them wore black.

Very Tommy Hilfiger and H&M with a pinch of Abercrombie.

He invited me in, which seemed too friendly even for him.

Why didn’t he just take me out back to the garage?

It felt like he thought I had a right to see his book club. He even introduced me to them all and told me what they did for a living. Mainly retail and freshman college students. They asked about me and I was pretty detailed with my answers…of course, I was still vague.

They all sat in a circle on the floor and immediately I thought about the last time I had been here. They sat on a carpet which was about 20 feet in length and width, I recall him saying it was pretty expensive. He got it for his wife and they placed it in the room where they had their first kiss in the house, the den.

This was not the den…and it looked ugly here.

Another ugly thing I caught a glimpse of was the cover of the book they were reading for their club. So I asked what it was and a pretty built guy replied with “The Perfect Husband” by Lisa something. He said “something”. He had a lot of piercing…none seemed professional.

The book looked interesting though…so yeah.

Basically, my time there turned into symbolism and tea. Not of the book they were reading however, just famous English lit. They seemed reluctant to answer any questions I had on the book. My neighbor seemed nervous every time I said the word “husband” or “wife”.

Speaking of which, I asked him where his wife was and he said she was away taking care of her sick grandmother in Paris.

Immediately he switched gears to the new James Bond movies coming out and how he couldn’t wait for it to come out.

This was a straight out lie. As I recall, he hates James Bond movies. The Batman will vouch for me on this one, he was over my house once and got into a heated debate…Bat’s loves Bond.

Anyway, everything just seemed so forced….especially his wife’s whereabouts.

She invited me to her grandmothers funeral in 2000.

 

[X-Chick]

You *******.



I was worried.

 

[The Spawn]

No, you were not.

 

[X-Chick]

Don't try to tell me how I feel.

 

[The Spawn]

I have seniority points.

I can.

 

[X-Chick]

No, you don't know me that well.


And I was worried. Slightly.

 

[The Spawn]

Don't be.

I'm going to die in 4 months from some rare disease.

I found out in April.

I was going to start a thread about it but felt it was inappropriate.

 

[X-Chick]

You can't leave me. Who would I talk to?

 

[The Spawn]

I have computer simulations of myself...I made them in college, the age with me.

 

[X-Chick]

I want the real you.

 

[X-Ray]

Back again...after I got my glasses I had to take them apart, they're not really glasses...

All right, basically I went right over there to ask for a lawn mower. It the back of my mind, I knew he knew that I had a lawn mower…it pretty much came with the butler. So I thought about something else I could ask for of his when in the corner of my eye I saw the blinds of window on the top floor open. They could have been curtains, not sure. Anyway, before I knew it, I was at his door and knocked three times. People had just gone in, so I figured it wouldn’t be too long before the door opened.

It must have been three minutes before the door opened and he was standing right in front of me with an artificial smile on his face…it could have been real, who am I to judge?

I had ADD for like two seconds, I don’t borrow things from people…ever. I’m like very germ conscious…plus I hate humans. Loathe the lot.

Anyway, the words came out…“Hey…neighbor.”

He just looked at me, analyzed me.

“Can I borrow your wee whacker?”

Now…I know everything about everyone within a five block radius of this mans driveway, him included…his response wasn’t what I expected.

“Nope.”

For the first time in my life I felt like I was actually wrong…I was actually breathless.

“No…?” Was all I could say. Then he just stared at me for a good long awkward time and said, “Oh! [My first name], I’m sorry, sure!”

It was like déjà vu…he’d gone back to his old self and let the door open wide. In his living room sat the guys who had come in before. Except it seemed as though one was missing from the group. Not sure.

What I am sure about is none of them wore black.

Very Tommy Hilfiger and H&M with a pinch of Abercrombie.

He invited me in, which seemed too friendly even for him.

Why didn’t he just take me out back to the garage?

It felt like he thought I had a right to see his book club. He even introduced me to them all and told me what they did for a living. Mainly retail and freshman college students. They asked about me and I was pretty detailed with my answers…of course, I was still vague.

They all sat in a circle on the floor and immediately I thought about the last time I had been here. They sat on a carpet which was about 20 feet in length and width, I recall him saying it was pretty expensive. He got it for his wife and they placed it in the room where they had their first kiss in the house, the den.

This was not the den…and it looked ugly here.

Another ugly thing I caught a glimpse of was the cover of the book they were reading for their club. So I asked what it was and a pretty built guy replied with “The Perfect Husband” by Lisa something. He said “something”. He had a lot of piercing…none seemed professional.

The book looked interesting though…so yeah.

Basically, my time there turned into symbolism and tea. Not of the book they were reading however, just famous English lit. They seemed reluctant to answer any questions I had on the book. My neighbor seemed nervous every time I said the word “husband” or “wife”.

Speaking of which, I asked him where his wife was and he said she was away taking care of her sick grandmother in Paris.

Immediately he switched gears to the new James Bond movies coming out and how he couldn’t wait for it to come out.

This was a straight out lie. As I recall, he hates James Bond movies. The Batman will vouch for me on this one, he was over my house once and got into a heated debate…Bat’s loves Bond.

Anyway, everything just seemed so forced….especially his wife’s whereabouts.

She invited me to her grandmothers funeral in 2000.

If the guy realizes that mistake. He'll either move out or make a move on you. Of course this is assuming that his wife told him about the invitation and that he has great memory.