MJ just seems like one of those cemented characters in that universe. Which is very odd considering she's not a super-hero. Previous attempts to kill her or make her leave Peter's life havent been met by a very positive fan reaction. The best they could hope for is have her go back to school or jump back in to her career. Even with that kind of solution, it feels off. The party girl side to MJ was her way to deal with her life, so when shes really got Pete, someone who cares for her, she'd naturally start to grow up. Especially after what happened with Gwen. She's gotten a bit of that girl-next-door to her back where it seems more natural for her to be on the couch watching tv with Pete than out in Milan in a club.
The other part of it seems like the Clark/Lois relationship. Superman always saves Lois Lane, but a lot of people miss how Lois saves Superman. He tries very hard to fit in and not feel alienated, so Lois loving him and treating him like any other man (when is she really afraid to stand up to him?) is sort of saving him. It seems like the same dynamic to me with Pete and MJ. Sure, when it comes to goblins and lizards, he can save MJ from the monsters. But what about when Pete cant save somebody and/or loses them, who saves him? The writers lose that at times when they mischaracterize her. She should always be the first one to call Pete on his bs. I think she has to be written like that. Pete seems to be a very family oriented character, and if they ever "really" kill Aunt May, someone has to be his family. Theyre what anchors his character. Losing absolutely everything and everyone permanently (no retcons) would just take Spiderman to a place no one will like.
We've seen all the excessively grim and gritty stories of the 90s, its gotten old. A lot of people miss some of the feel of the older days of comics, but we also see how that can be very campy. There's gotta be a middleground to the writing. A character doesnt need its world shook every month, especially if the aftereffects never really stick. Happy endings to stories are nice, but they shouldnt come easily. Comic writers get a lot of pressure to write great stories, so its easy for them to try to stick to a formula or constantly stray from one using what they consider to be how the character acts/reacts. Im sure another writer will come along eventually that will care a lot about the book and make fans happy (for a while at least).