Then we have a difference of opinion as to what we see Peter Parker as. You, like many others, see him as a Tony Stark lackey. I see the Peter Parker who is extremely loyal to those that he befriends. We've never gotten a chance to see how Peter would react to friends who share the same type of second life that he has. Tony Stark has done a lot for him and he's merely enjoying the friendship/father figure-like relationship.
Personally, people just seem to be throwing that "lackey", "sidekick", or as you put it "girlfriend" because they didn't like the new costume when it was presented. And also because in many of the issues he kept calling Tony "boss" and ALL ALONG I said, "He's not being SERIOUS, he's busting Tony's chops like he does to EVERYBODY". And that's EXACTLY what he was doing, and Pete even said it in # 533 after he unmasked.
And there was a reason he unmasked and I've gone into so many times now that I feel like my head is going to explode. Yes, Tony Stark asked Peter to unmask, but that's not really the reason that he did it. First off, Aunt May gave him her and MJ's blessing to go through with it, which was another fine issue of Amazing Spider-Man. Second of all, 600 innocent people died in a disaster that was inadvertantly caused by a superhero group trying to cash in on heroics with their reality tv show. Heroes that remind him much of himself. Peter Parker is someone who will sacrifice himself to help make a difference and that's precisely what he's done.
We've got differing opinions in what we're interpreting out of this story and everything that has led up to it. While some of the stories haven't been great, and just because you don't seem to like them, doesn't mean that he's out of character or any less smart. Just seems that things aren't going the way that you want them to go, as well as many others here.