Dark of the Moon OFFICIAL Dark of the Moon REVIEW THREAD - Part 1

[Wolfwood]

Pretty disappointed with the movie overall, I felt like I was in the theater for four hours. I think the overabundance of human story lines really dragged things down for me. I will say that Dutch and Wang had me rolling, even if they were over the top. I'd probably rank this slightly above 2, but still way below 1.

 

[howl]

thought it was ok, just ok. better than the 2nd, but that wasn't going to be hard to accomplish. malkovich's role was killer!

 

[Jackasscoley15]

I really enjoyed this review.

 

[El Bastardo]

Holy crap, those guys are annoying. I lasted about three minutes.

 

[Max Newlander]

Well I have to say this has to have been one of the most enduring and annoying cinematic experiences I have ever had the mis-pleasure of sitting through. Where to start...

Well the film seems to have been written by some teenager who appears to have been continuously turned on by the posters of glamour models and US Military equipment on his bedroom wall as he wrote. Dialogue is terrible, story doesn't have any coherence or even make any kind of sense when comparing it to the mythology to the two previous movies.

Acting, well appalling, the 'new' Megan Fox is horrendous, and can't act for toffee. Shia is a decent actor but his character Sam has now become extremely annoying by this stage in the franchise. All the other parts are simply either, cardboard cutout's and have very little screen time to develop in anyway, or are just beyond stupid and pointless.

Direction is the same old Michael Bay lets blow everything up in the sunshine with slow motion. Its been done to death Michael, lets try and evolve as a film-maker and focus more on pacing, character and story development. 60 minute final battle scene? Eh? No one except 7 year old kids want to watch that. Far too long, and once you've seen one battle between two gigantic robots you've seen them all.

So many WTF moments. Too many to go through. I can't remember the amount of times I just wanted to put my head on my hands in despair.

I don't get this movie, a lot of people say 'What do you expect form a movie about robots that was based on a kids toy line.' True but M Bay didn't make this for kids or he would have had much more subtlety with the amount of sexual connotations instead of ramming it down our throats. There also seems to be an air of Rasicm, Jingoism, and sexual discrimination similarly to the previous efforts and those underlying themes shouldn't be involved in a kids movie.

An extremely poor effort of film-making, excluding the visual and special effects. Unfortunately 2.5hrs of visual effects doesn't constitute a movie to me. Michael Bay seems to be a sheltered and overly patriotic teenager who has just discovered the excitement of sexual arousal trapped inside a mans body. This can only explain his style, content and the view on the world he wants to project in his movies towards his audience. Someone needs to grow up fast and open his eyes a little wider before making another movie IMO.

1/10 Awful in every way.

As stated this is just my opinion, to those who loved it then you're also of course welcome to have that opinion ( and I can respect that ), its nothing personal just what I thought.

 

[CyclopsSummers]

Where can we get Dino and Soundwave in full poster??

http://img841.imageshack.us/img841/1493/22445724900025179880416.jpg
http://img41.imageshack.us/img41/4859/sansre1xn.jpg

 

[CelticPredator]

Saw it again for a 3rd time.

10/10 perfect in every single possible way. I didnt think a summer movie could be this ****ing fun, but it was. Feel sorry for people who need to too many things to have fun.

 

[The Morningstar]

No man, it's a horrible movie. How can you call it fun? It's mind numbingly boring. The whole middle section (all one and a half hours of it) is just ******ed exposition that doesn't make sense.

And there is two, maybe three decent action scenes in the whole thing.

 

[CelticPredator]

It's ****ing the ****ing **** of ****ing awesomeness.

How is it fun? Because I know exactly what i'm about to watch.

How is it not boring? Because I like the characters. They entertain me.

Why do I love this movie? Because it's ****ing terrible. And just so stupid, but IT knows what it is, and I know what it is, and therefore, I ****ing love the **** out if it.

Plus, when I think of Transformers I think ****ING AWESOME...hence all the ****s. **** blows up. Chicks asses. **** blows up. And robots fighting robots.

10/10. Every single time.

ROTF gets a 8/10 for being stupid. But the action is still the ****.

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

The movie was pretty bad. Me and my girlfriend kept looking at each other in disbelief of just how bad it was.

The action scenes are mostly crammed in and lead nowhere with a complete lack of suspense (because you don't care about the outcome). Alot of the humor was annoying. The whole movie was just loud and pointless.

oh and the worst was Optimus screaming "Autobots retreat!"....In the cartoon series it was always Megatron or Starscream who yelled "Decepticons retreat!". This role reversal is just plain character assasination.

Hopefully this will be Bay's last TF movie. This guy has nothing to contribute to TRansformers other than noise and buffoonery. He has gotten enough money from Transformers to buy his own small country so hopefully he will go away.

 

[CelticPredator]

I hope he makes more. Just to piss you off.

 

[CelticPredator]

I also have to ask....why did ANY of you expect a good movie? How come i'm the only one who knew this was going to suck?

I get if you went into say....Rise of the Apes and the movie was just like this...that would be horrible....

But if I went into Transformers, and got a Rise of the Apes, i'd be pissed as well. Because I aint payin 20 bucks to see people discuss important things.

I expected childish humor. I expected useless expository dialouge, I expected weak acting. But, I also expected A ****LOAD of action! and hot chick(s?), Optimus kicking ass, slow motion, and EXPLOSIONS!

It's like people MUST have a good movie all the time. Bah! Stop being snobs! Enjoy your greasy cheap burger! :Hehe:

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

I hope he makes more. Just to piss you off.

He can't make them forever, dude.

You lose.

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

I also have to ask....why did ANY of you expect a good movie? How come i'm the only one who knew this was going to suck?

I get if you went into say....Rise of the Apes and the movie was just like this...that would be horrible....

But if I went into Transformers, and got a Rise of the Apes, i'd be pissed as well. Because I aint payin 20 bucks to see people discuss important things.

I expected childish humor. I expected useless expository dialouge, I expected weak acting. But, I also expected A ****LOAD of action! and hot chick(s?), Optimus kicking ass, slow motion, and EXPLOSIONS!

It's like people MUST have a good movie all the time. Bah! Stop being snobs! Enjoy your greasy cheap burger! :Hehe:

I dunno, when I watch the animated movie it ignites my imagination and I actually care about the journey and the outcome. That's what I'd like from a live action adaptation. Not just loud, mindless drivel that forces you to look at watch fifty times.

 

[CelticPredator]

Eh. Didnt they use storylines from the cartoon?

Plus, you keep forgetting something....kids dont give a **** about the old Transformers. They need goofy characters to keep them intrested. And so Bay does this well enough.

They are kids movies, after all.

And TBH the cartoons are pretty boring. The designs are meh too. I never liked Transformers. Even as a kid, I thought they were lame looking. Beast Wars was my ****.

 

[Ultra Ham]

After seeing shows Beast Wars, Transformers Animated and even Transformers: Prime I have learned to appreciate the Transformers series and what it can do, so to see Michael Bay turn these into ridiculous junk food movies filled with stupid characters, bad comedy and mindless explosions upsets me. I like Transformers so I get upset when I see it portrayed in a negative way.

Maybe if I didn't care about the franchise I could get some enjoyment out of these films, but as adaptions of something that I like I have certain expectations.

 

[The Morningstar]

Come on CP, the "well what did you expect" thing isn't an excuse. A **** movie is a **** movie. Transformers 2 and 3 are **** movies.

And no i don't think they realise they are. Well, not with this new one. It's so self indulgent and over stuffed it's like Bay thinks what he is doing is truly brilliant. There is so much time spent on exposition and the characters you can tell Bay is TRYING to do something a bit more clever in 3 than in 2.

But no, it's still ****. The exposition is ******ed. The characters are *******s. Especially Tyrese. I mean seriously, is there anyone more annoying working in movies today?

 

[CelticPredator]

I know they are. I have to ask again, what the **** did you expect? I know it was going to be a **** movie. I knew it was going to be awful. I only saw the flick for some awesome effects that pretty much top any movie made in the last 10 years, and some of the best 3D use so far. Oh and giant robots, and hot chicks.

And I got all that. And I liked the story. Dont care whatchu say. It's a cool idea. The Chicago scene is ****ing amazing, and perhaps the greatest scene of action ever put on film.

These movies are made for kids. Period. And I dont mind goofy ass kids movies once in a while. And this is definatly a goofy ass kids movie.

I'm just sick of people who know FULL WELL this movie will suck, and then act like they didnt expect it, and get all pissy. It's ******ed. You guys should've saw something else.

It's like Saw...I hated 3, and so I never wanted to see the rest...(however, I did get dragged to em, and they never improved...but thats a different matter). So I knew I couldnt expect anything good from that series...and low and behold...they all sucked ass.

Atleast Transformers has pretty colors, and explosions to keep me intrested.

 

[Vile]

These movies are made for kids. Period. And I dont mind goofy ass kids movies once in a while. And this is definatly a goofy ass kids movie.

Nope.

 

[CelticPredator]

Yep. Prove me the **** wrong.

 

[Vile]

Transformers is no more 'made just for kids' than The Dark Knight was.

Its a petty excuse to try and explain a terrible film. You were right about something - We really should have known better. It IS Michael Bay.

 

[Castiel]

Transformers 3: Dark Of The Moon (2011)

Transformers 3: Dark Of The Moon, why not call it Darkside Of The Moon? Just thought that was odd... but whatever, not really a problem or a good way to start off a review. Basically we're at the third installment of the giant robot-Michael Bay franchise! Oh joy! What to expect? Well giant robots, and explosions really. What do we get? Pretty much that. The opening sequence is fantastic, the way it's told and shot with that 'old' look and the whole conspiracy thing going on is very interesting. I enjoyed that the most out of the whole film, after that we flash forward to present time where Shia Lebouf (Sam) is with some new random hot chick (I forgot her name already). They try to explain with a little bit of backstory how Sam and hot chick met, Obama gave Sam a medal but the true highlight of his day was falling in love! Aweee! The tiny supposably meant to be funny and/or entertaining robots talk about how "the last one" dumped them, that's just snuck in there which I guess is kind of nice to have at least that mentioned.

Obviously nobody learned from the last movie that trying to make Transformers films funny does not work! It just doesn't feel right, and all of the jokes fall flat. The story is just a giant cluster**** as well, which is sad because the story could've really been interesting with the whole moon conspiracy thing, by the way it's great to see previews for Apollo 18 after watching this because that looks like it's making a story similar to the opening of this but the movie looks good.

The movie lasts 2:25 or so and my God it's the longest 2 1/2 hours ever! I just kept waiting for it to end, and honestly I didn't even know what was going on half the time! Autobots are good, no that ones bad, wait what one is he? They look the same! Oh, they're dead, wait they're alive? One thing I can not stand during a movie is someone asking me "Wait.. what happened there?" and this was asked to me a good 20 times during the course of this movie, so yeah, story telling is not very good in this. You'd think that was ok because there was going to be an extreme amount of action in this, but I didn't even really find the action too entertaining, didn't even feel like Bay brought his A-game for that.

The whole time of the ending I just kept thinking how familar all the destruction in the city with giant robots fighting each other and Sam in the middle looked, I seriously think they just may have reused the same ending for all 3 of these movies.

Let's get into the characters, I don't care about a single one of them. The new girl seems kind of like a *****, I didn't feel any real chemistry between her and Sam or anything. Sam gets boring after five minutes of watching him because you realize Shia only has one acting technique, scream stuff. "WATCH OUT!" "BUMBLE BEE!" "NOOO!!" every five minutes he's shouting something, and I think that's supposed to make us care about something more? I just found it annoying, but hey, you can make a game of it! Drink whenever Shia shouts something! Thank me later.

Did I mention the scene with the building falling over? That is definitely the best part of the movie. I just found it to be pretty cool.

I could go on about other things like how I find it stupid that the humans could actually kill the robots, but I won't get into it. I think I've said enough to put a knife in this. The opening was great, it made me want to see Apollo 18, the plot could've been great but it was just so confusing and the movie was far too dragged out, it could've easily been an 1:30. 4/10