She has to understand... our lifes are based at us making a certian income, the cars we drive, the condo we live in, the things we take for granted like having a big screen in the bedroom, front loader washer and drier, granite countertops.... those are all the fruits of our labor the last coupe years....
And that's exactly what I DON'T agree with. It's nice having money, don't get me wrong. I'm a saver myself, I love having that security. But my parents instilled in me that it's not the stuff you have that defines your life. They're by far the richest family on their block, but NOBODY can see it on the outside because we don't have nice cars, don't wear designer clothes, don't have a big screen TV, don't even have a frontload washer/dryer.
Instead, my parents used their money to send my sister and I to private colleges, and my mom was able to retire at 45. Now, she gardens and quilts, which is always the quiet life she wanted. My dad only works now because my mom is not physically well and they need the insurance. They have the money to retire, but were never tempted to suddenly splurge on the expensive stuff JUST to have it, even though we never worried about money.
Maybe it's something you forced on her, and since she's home more then you, she has time to stare at the big screen, the front load washer and dryer, the granite countertops, and wonder if it's "really worth it" if you're gone doing 2 jobs and focused on work all the time.
the other thing I left out... is, her mother died about a 1 1/2 ago... and it's been a really strange ride with her morning the loss.... it affects her at the strangest times... not at holidays, or birthdays.... but just random days where there's nothing going on special... maybe that's normal? maybe not? luckily, I haven't gone through that yet...
I'm very honest too... and her mother was no saint.... she treated my wife like crap.... her sister was the favorite, and my wife was treated like a red headed step child.... they never helped her out growing up or anything..... and when we first started dating, she was on the verge of failing out of college, but I helped her rebound and get her college act together, and she graduated....
Aww yeah, that'll add a TON of stress, and mourning can happen in the most random of days. She's probably braced herself for emotional turmoil on holidays and birthdays, but doesn't expect it to flood her on those random days. And even if she was treated like crap, that non-saint was still her mother, ya know.
You guys aren't missing out on fun because you have a two year old. You're missing out on fun because you have to work all the time just to keep up with everything!
Totally agree. And since it's your money mostly going to the expensive stuff (if she does work only part-time), it's really the fruits of "your" labor that you guys have been enjoying.
here's the deal with them.... I work construction on the weekends for my cousin's company... I make good, really good money just working two days.... he loves my work ethic (the fact I work 7 days a week) and told me flat out that next season, starting in March, there's a full time job waiting for me, with nearly a 60% pay increase, plus more if I get my CDL... and the job in Monday - Friday... maybe a Saturday every once inawhile..... but, those 5 days, I'll be making more then what I make working my two jobs right now (average weekly hours is between 60 and 70, not including Saturdays)..... so, we just have to bear me doing this for a few more months... then, it's clear sailing... she just needs to be a little more understanding....
so, in short, i could afford to live working one job... but, to do that would screw up the plans,
Okay, but that's the one construction job right? But you mentioned you had two jobs. Couldn't you quit the other job (or at least decrease your hours) and still get that full-time gig? If you can do that, try doing that as a compromise. If you really want that full-time job, then go for it, but there's no need to overburden yourself with another job that doesn't have a concrete goal, especially if things are suffering at home.
I don't think so..... those years after college... having no money, living in a run down apartment... I hated it... and right now, I'm dead set on making sure my son has the best possible life.... if it means, that for the next 6 months, daddy is tired alot, and mommy is crabby.... but, two, three year from now, we have a wonderful house, family vacations to florida, or whereever twice a year, and no worries as far as how money goes.... then what's the problem...
I hear all these girls out there, complaining about their deadbeat husbands.... I think it's pretty good that I'm thinking of the future, and working so my wife and son don't have to worry about money....
Um, that's EXACTLY the reason why you're a control freak.
You don't feel safe unless you have a lot of money coming into the bank, which in of itself is not a bad thing at all. It's a huge deal to not worry about money. But you're got tunnel-vision about it, focusing only on the money you make and the lifestyle you've paid for. What about your family's emotional needs, for Pete's sake? Even if you do come home and play with your 2-year-old, how much are you really there for them emotionally, especially with your wife still mourning her mother's death?
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