One time I got really drunk and...

[SsM]

Har, har. I don't care how angry I am, the man is like, double my weight. It ain't happenin!

Trust me, it could happen.

 

[AndThePickles]

I think I'd probably do better if I was scared for him. I've managed to somewhat drag him away from places before :heart:

 

[Wiseman]

I think I'd probably do better if I was scared for him. I've managed to somewhat drag him away from places before :heart:

I agree, I mean is you caught him with another woman, why would you want him to move, makes it harder to hit him with the bat/knife/frying pan

 

[Colossal Spoons]

This is absurd!

 

[Wiseman]

This is absurd!

it's knowsbleed's fault

 

[knowsbleed]

I think I'd probably do better if I was scared for him. I've managed to somewhat drag him away from places before :heart:

OOooo... storytime!

it's knowsbleed's fault

No, it's Spoon's fault. He's the one on top of another woman.

 

[Watson]

@Watson: You actually seem like you'd be interesting drunk. Like, you'd laugh at the worst jokes.

Let's put it this way. My friends and I decided there are 4 types of drunk people; angry, ****ty, happy, and sleepy. My friends unanimously decided that on any given drunk night, I embody all four .

I used to hang out w/ a bunch of kids in high school who thought they were Johnny Knoxville and the Jackass crew. They got my ass out with them a few nights flinging shopping carts around parking lots. 2 people get in a car. While the driver drives, the passenger holds onto a cart out the window and the driver speeds up. At the last second before the passenger releases the cart, the driver turns suddenly. Man, what fun. Totally irresponsible though.

Oh god. But booze makes it ok!

Actually the worst things that happen to me are always personal property destruction. I've lost a few cell phones (one fell into a hot tub as I attempted to "leap" over it fully dressed), lost several cameras and purses...so much money gone

 

[Colossal Spoons]

I'm good about hanging on to my possessions. Actually, I make sure I have my wallet, keys(like I'm driving anywhere lol), and cell phone like every hour or so.

 

[Drizzle]

Fine, but I'm gonna post the good with the bad. This is a long story but worth it, and I know some people might look down on me for how I used to live my life but we all make mistakes, the past is the past.

Ok, so the summer when I was 19 I owned a Trans am, I was a manager of a store, I thought I was hot ****, I was, over the three month summer, sleeping with 6 different women. My girlfriend, her sister, her cousin, her best friend, some lesbian, and my ex girlfriend. My girlfriend knew about her best friend and the lesbian because we were having threesomes with them, she did not know about the other 3. I'm only saying all this to set up the time period. In july of that year, i got jumped and was in the hospital for a while, on August 17, me and my two best friends were drinking all day along with some girl they just met the night before that they tag teamed. We were wasted by 4pm, I decided it'd be a great idea to go to the guys house that was responsible for me getting jumped. We drove there and I started banging on his door and yelling for him to get out. Nobody answered so I took a baseball bat out of my car and started smashing his car windows with it. He came out, I hit him on the side with the bat, then grabbed the back of his head and kept slamming my knee into his face(broke his jaw, and nose and a couple teeth got knocked out) then I pulled out a knife and told him if I ever saw him again I was going to kill him.........We leave and go to Burgerking cause again, we were wasted and were still drinking in the car so we were hungry. We go in, order our food, my one friend kept taking his shirt off(cause that's just something he did when he was drunk) and we were all being really loud and obnoxious. They kept telling us to leave, we didn't, they called the cops. Then we started destroying crap inside the restaurant. We got in the car, I went around to the drive-through and did the biggest brake stand ever, like I mean the whole building was covered in smoke. At this point I began speeding, when the wrong way down a one way street, my friend in the backseat and that girl I didn't even know started having sex. I ran into somebodys small tree, kept going, and finally after fishtailing for what seemed like forever I crashed the car in a field. I wasn't wearing my seatbelt and when the car went of the road it flipped foward and then did multiple flips side to side while I was hanging on outside the car. Finally the car stopped upside down, with me trapped under the top of the car hood. My one friend had a warrent for his arrest for violating probation so he pulled me out and ran, my other friend and that girl were stuck in the back seat. I stopped breathing and my heart stopped beating....Paramedics came, brought me back to life, pulled out the two from the back seat naked, I was unconscious until I woke up in the hospital when they were x-raying my arm which I broke in 3 different spots. In the waiting room of the hospital was my girlfriend, my ex girlfriend, and a whole bunch of other people who should not be in the same room at once. There was a bunch of arguing and a couple fist fights and everyone who was there for me got kicked out of the hospital. My friend that ran away after the accident was caught 3 weeks later and spent a year in jail. At the end of the day I broke my arm in three places, my nose, 2 ribs and I had road rash all over my body that took months to heal. I was on probation for 3 years, paid 5,000 dollars worth of fines and lost my job. And I had some serious cleaning up to do with all that went on in the waiting room. So, I lived large that year, was king **** till August, and then it finally caught up with me.

 

[AndThePickles]

Yeah, even drunk I am always fully aware of where my possessions are. I get quite paranoid about it.

 

[Drakon]

Let's put it this way. My friends and I decided there are 4 types of drunk people; angry, ****ty, happy, and sleepy. My friends unanimously decided that on any given drunk night, I embody all four

Okay, this sounds fun.

"I ****ING HATE YOUR *yawn* FACE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, NOW DO ME!!!!!"



And then when you wake up to see the guy you bedded was really Marx.....

 

[AndThePickles]

OOooo... storytime!

Haha, only with Spoons' permission.

 

[Watson]

Okay, this sounds fun.

"I ****ING HATE YOUR *yawn* FACE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, NOW DO ME!!!!!"



And then when you wake up to see the guy you bedded was really Marx.....

In a nutshell, yes.

Does Marx actually look like his avatar? Cause you know, those uncle Sam types can be pretty sexy...

Spoiler

 

[Drakon]

In a nutshell, yes.

Does Marx actually look like his avatar? Cause you know, those uncle Sam types can be pretty sexy...

Spoiler

I look like my avatar. Blonde, goatee, weird eyes, goofy smirk and a dark outline around my head.

 

[Ace of Knaves]

Wiseman your story is ****ing brilliant!!!! You could make that one day into a movie!!!

I think the worst thing I've ever done whilst drunk was have a fight with one of my mates, I mean a proper fight. Not this grappling and slapping **** I see on Nothing Toxic n all that.

Going from other witnesses accounts (it was one of those ones, where you barely remember anything) we were literally just standing there smashing each other in the face, he bottled me at one point, I got him on the ground and stamped on his head at one point. It was savage. Overall a pretty nasty scrap. None of our other mates could manage to separate us, unfortunately.

We both ended up looking like the Elephant Man, my mate ended up with a fractured cheek bone and nose. I ended up with a re aligned nose and 3 teeth knocked out, as well as some dirty gash on my head where he bottled me. And neither of us really remember why it happened. We are all good now though, but this incident was the big reason why I decided to stop drinking altogether for a good year or so. Fighting with your friends because of alcohol is just really sad. Losing a friend because of a ****ing drink is disgraceful.

 

[DarkReflections]

Fine, but I'm gonna post the good with the bad. This is a long story but worth it, and I know some people might look down on me for how I used to live my life but we all make mistakes, the past is the past.

Ok, so the summer when I was 19 I owned a Trans am, I was a manager of a store, I thought I was hot ****, I was, over the three month summer, sleeping with 6 different women. My girlfriend, her sister, her cousin, her best friend, some lesbian, and my ex girlfriend. My girlfriend knew about her best friend and the lesbian because we were having threesomes with them, she did not know about the other 3. I'm only saying all this to set up the time period. In july of that year, i got jumped and was in the hospital for a while, on August 17, me and my two best friends were drinking all day along with some girl they just met the night before that they tag teamed. We were wasted by 4pm, I decided it'd be a great idea to go to the guys house that was responsible for me getting jumped. We drove there and I started banging on his door and yelling for him to get out. Nobody answered so I took a baseball bat out of my car and started smashing his car windows with it. He came out, I hit him on the side with the bat, then grabbed the back of his head and kept slamming my knee into his face(broke his jaw, and nose and a couple teeth got knocked out) then I pulled out a knife and told him if I ever saw him again I was going to kill him.........We leave and go to Burgerking cause again, we were wasted and were still drinking in the car so we were hungry. We go in, order our food, my one friend kept taking his shirt off(cause that's just something he did when he was drunk) and we were all being really loud and obnoxious. They kept telling us to leave, we didn't, they called the cops. Then we started destroying crap inside the restaurant. We got in the car, I went around to the drive-through and did the biggest brake stand ever, like I mean the whole building was covered in smoke. At this point I began speeding, when the wrong way down a one way street, my friend in the backseat and that girl I didn't even know started having sex. I ran into somebodys small tree, kept going, and finally after fishtailing for what seemed like forever I crashed the car in a field. I wasn't wearing my seatbelt and when the car went of the road it flipped foward and then did multiple flips side to side while I was hanging on outside the car. Finally the car stopped upside down, with me trapped under the top of the car hood. My one friend had a warrent for his arrest for violating probation so he pulled me out and ran, my other friend and that girl were stuck in the back seat. I stopped breathing and my heart stopped beating....Paramedics came, brought me back to life, pulled out the two from the back seat naked, I was unconscious until I woke up in the hospital when they were x-raying my arm which I broke in 3 different spots. In the waiting room of the hospital was my girlfriend, my ex girlfriend, and a whole bunch of other people who should not be in the same room at once. There was a bunch of arguing and a couple fist fights and everyone who was there for me got kicked out of the hospital. My friend that ran away after the accident was caught 3 weeks later and spent a year in jail. At the end of the day I broke my arm in three places, my nose, 2 ribs and I had road rash all over my body that took months to heal. I was on probation for 3 years, paid 5,000 dollars worth of fines and lost my job. And I had some serious cleaning up to do with all that went on in the waiting room. So, I lived large that year, was king **** till August, and then it finally caught up with me.

 

[batsone]

My birthday was this past Saturday, and the Sloppy Seconds were doing a show at Rock-bottom, so great night, great show, f u * * even the local bands were on their *****
after a killer evening, as my friends and i were crossing the street. Captain "runthefugginlightimtoodrunktoknowannybetter" almost plows down my girlfriend, my two homeboys and their lady's, so as he passes me (missing me by inches) I hit his back driver side window. So dude stops and is all agro"did you just hit my truck?"
To witch my response was "YOUR GODDAMN RIGHT I DID< WHAT YOU JUST GET YOUR PERMIT?!!?"

at this point i feel obliged to say i had cut myself on some glass in the pitt and might have looked a little like a zombie, what with all the blood from my thumb on my pants.(this was my B-day and the booze started early)

Well "captaindontknowwhathefukimdoin" after getting out of his suburban and asking if i hit it plus a gripp of other runyourmouth BS gets one look at the group of people he damn near hit and bolts, busted window and all.

 

[Majic Walrus]

I have a second story from another friend who was in the Navy. During his service in the Navy he met several new people. One of them a young man who was engaged. He was engaged to a very attractive lady who was rather clumsy. Continuing ahead a few shots of whiskey the poor young lass mistakenly dropped nearly a half a fifth of Jack Daniels' whiskey. Jack men, I find, are rather protective about their whiskey.

Upon seeing his wonderful nectar drop to the floor he reacted instinctively and with his military training. BAM! He punched her right in the eye.

Yes you read that right. Over booze he punched his friends fiance in the face.

 

[Sarge 2.0]

Fine, but I'm gonna post the good with the bad. This is a long story but worth it, and I know some people might look down on me for how I used to live my life but we all make mistakes, the past is the past.

Ok, so the summer when I was 19 I owned a Trans am, I was a manager of a store, I thought I was hot ****, I was, over the three month summer, sleeping with 6 different women. My girlfriend, her sister, her cousin, her best friend, some lesbian, and my ex girlfriend. My girlfriend knew about her best friend and the lesbian because we were having threesomes with them, she did not know about the other 3. I'm only saying all this to set up the time period. In july of that year, i got jumped and was in the hospital for a while, on August 17, me and my two best friends were drinking all day along with some girl they just met the night before that they tag teamed. We were wasted by 4pm, I decided it'd be a great idea to go to the guys house that was responsible for me getting jumped. We drove there and I started banging on his door and yelling for him to get out. Nobody answered so I took a baseball bat out of my car and started smashing his car windows with it. He came out, I hit him on the side with the bat, then grabbed the back of his head and kept slamming my knee into his face(broke his jaw, and nose and a couple teeth got knocked out) then I pulled out a knife and told him if I ever saw him again I was going to kill him.........We leave and go to Burgerking cause again, we were wasted and were still drinking in the car so we were hungry. We go in, order our food, my one friend kept taking his shirt off(cause that's just something he did when he was drunk) and we were all being really loud and obnoxious. They kept telling us to leave, we didn't, they called the cops. Then we started destroying crap inside the restaurant. We got in the car, I went around to the drive-through and did the biggest brake stand ever, like I mean the whole building was covered in smoke. At this point I began speeding, when the wrong way down a one way street, my friend in the backseat and that girl I didn't even know started having sex. I ran into somebodys small tree, kept going, and finally after fishtailing for what seemed like forever I crashed the car in a field. I wasn't wearing my seatbelt and when the car went of the road it flipped foward and then did multiple flips side to side while I was hanging on outside the car. Finally the car stopped upside down, with me trapped under the top of the car hood. My one friend had a warrent for his arrest for violating probation so he pulled me out and ran, my other friend and that girl were stuck in the back seat. I stopped breathing and my heart stopped beating....Paramedics came, brought me back to life, pulled out the two from the back seat naked, I was unconscious until I woke up in the hospital when they were x-raying my arm which I broke in 3 different spots. In the waiting room of the hospital was my girlfriend, my ex girlfriend, and a whole bunch of other people who should not be in the same room at once. There was a bunch of arguing and a couple fist fights and everyone who was there for me got kicked out of the hospital. My friend that ran away after the accident was caught 3 weeks later and spent a year in jail. At the end of the day I broke my arm in three places, my nose, 2 ribs and I had road rash all over my body that took months to heal. I was on probation for 3 years, paid 5,000 dollars worth of fines and lost my job. And I had some serious cleaning up to do with all that went on in the waiting room. So, I lived large that year, was king **** till August, and then it finally caught up with me.

Was the chick who you didn't know hot?

Also, one time I was blitzed at a Pearl Jam concert, and just a wee bit high on top of it. We were on the lawn of the outdoor venue, and I really really had to piss. So, I remember thinking I was super considerate by checking to see if there was a decent radius of emptiness around me so that I didn't piss on anyone. Unfortunately, this chick diagonally behind me didn't think I was so considerate, because when I stopped pissing, zipped up, and stumbled back (slightly towards her, I think) she looked at me and said "Just GET AWAY FROM ME!". She was with her boyfriend, he was doing that arms around the waist cuddle sway thing from behind her. He didn't even notice. So when she yelled "Just GET AWAY FROM ME" my friends quickly rushed me to a different spot on the lawn while I very loudly yelled "Wha-WHAT DID I DO!? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! I DIDN'T PEE ON HER."

 

[ultrasuperduckman]

I posted some of this in another thread but oh well.

It was June of '08 and I just turned 20. I moved out of my friends' apartment and into my own because they all were in love with the girl I had started dating and didn't allow her to come over.

One night she wants to throw a party at my place and I agree because she always told me that I was "no fun". So we invite people over and I start doing the usual shots of vodka and drinking some beer. Maybe a few shots of whiskey as well.

Everyone is having a good time and laughing at my batman toys that my girlfriend threw in the freezer a few days prior, good fun.

My old room mates decide to walk over (It's not far at all, maybe a 2 min walk) and even though I thought it was lame of them, I allowed them to stay. Now this is where I mess up.

Someone pulls out a bottle of 151 which I have never drank before. I was already wasted and decided I was a bad ass and started chugging the 151....

I remember my girlfriend started crying and left. Afterwards I told her bestfriend if she didn't let me talk to her I would slit her throat. Then when everyone was outside I went out and started making the speech Bruce does at his birthday party in Batman Begins (Only one friend was laughing, everyone else thought I was serious)

Everyone left and I decided to grab a knife (June of '08 I was REALLY in TDK and was following it and lurking on the boards forever) and walk down to my old room mates apartment. My best friend at the time was trying to stop me and we proceeded to duke it out. That fight went on for a good 15 minutes before we were both so tired we couldn't move.

He went into the bathroom to check himself out and I took the chance to continue my quest to my old apartment only without a knife I suppose.

I walk down there and start beating on the door yelling and screaming trying to fight anyone who would have me. They kick me out. I beat on the door again and they all are pissed but decide it would better to laugh at me and shut the door. It worked.

I started walking back to my apartment thinking that the night was over and it was time to turn in when I saw my best friend walking towards me. I thought we were fine when he walks up and punches me in the face. He was angry I guess because I gave him a black eye earlier.

We fight for awhile and everyone comes out trying to calm us down. I take a pair of another friend's glasses off his face, throw them to the ground then stomp all over them. I spit in his friends face and kept yelling at the crowd, "COME ON! HIT ME!" and trying to do Joker laughs.

Someone punches me again and I suppose some guy came outside with a taser and was trying to act tough. I don't know.

I know I woke up and it looked like a hurricane hit my apartment. Bottles were broken everywhere. My couches were flipped upside down. Crazy ****.


Needless to say my girlfriend left and took our pet rabbit with her.

It was after this event that I started to drink heavily.

 

[The_Vision]

Apparently i tried to jump off a bridge into Dean's pond (whichh is deeper than it sounds and full of sewage) thank you Jayne if your reading this, for saving my life. We also had a radio/CD player until we thought it'd be 'cool' to put two slugs named 'axl' and 'slash' on it, and put it on a random doorstep and rang the door bell. We never saw the radio again

 

[knowsbleed]

Why is this thread more successful than mine? http://forums.superherohype.com/showthread.php?t=288482

 

[Wiseman]

Because I didn't post in yours

 

[knowsbleed]

Yeah, why didn't you do that? I see how it is. Payback's a *****.

 

[Wiseman]

I wasn't posting in 2007 for the most part, don't take it personal