Sex with Babysitter

[Darthphere]

I still consider a 14 year old teenager to be a child. Just because 14 year olds think about boobs doesn't make it right for a 28 year old to have sex with them.

So what are we discussing here exactly, is 28 too old or 14 too young. I mean, lets pick a side and roll with it.

 

[DBella]

When does a child stop being a child? 14 is not a child, 14 is a teenager. 14 is the age some kids are starting to enter high school. At 14, all I could think about was boobs and wrestling.

When the child reaches the legal age to be considered an adult. (U.S. law, it's 18. Age of consent is different in some states though. I think for NY it's 17 and for some other states, it's 16.) Under the law 14 is still a child but if you find that offensive, we can refer to teens as "adolescent", which, under the law is still a minor. Why are they considered a minor? I believe it has to do with mental capacity.

 

[AndThePickles]

So what are we discussing here exactly, is 28 too old or 14 too young. I mean, lets pick a side and roll with it.

How have I not picked a side 14 is too young, and 28 is too old to be having sex with said youngster. I think 14 is too young to be having sex, period, but in this case the sex was illegal, as well.

 

[Darthphere]

When the child reaches the legal age to be considered an adult. (U.S. law, it's 18. Age of consent is different in some states though. I think for NY it's 17 and for some other states, it's 16.) Under the law 14 is still a child but if you find that offensive, we can refer to teens as "adolescent", which, under the law is still a minor. Why are they considered a minor? I believe it has to do with mental capacity.

Oh please, that's such a crap argument to make. I'm not talking about by what the law states. And frankly, I'm not even talking about this case in particular. Saying a 14 year old is a child by simplest terms is ridiculous. 9? Sure that's a child. And it has nothing to do with mental capacity. It has to do with a whole bunch of white guys deciding that under 18 is not old enough. The same people who say you can die in a battlefield when you're 18 but can't buy a drink until you're 21.

How have I not picked a side 14 is too young, and 28 is too old to be having sex with said youngster. I think 14 is too young to be having sex, period, but in this case the sex was illegal, as well.

Again, stop thinking about the laws. You two are obviously female. You're going to tell me you have better insight into the mindset of a teenage boy than me? Excuse me, no.

 

[AndThePickles]

Ha, if this is going to be based off of the fact that I've never been a 14 year old teenage boy and can't relate, then it is DEFINITELY pointless for me to state my opinion any further.

 

[DBella]

Oh please, that's such a crap argument to make. I'm not talking about by what the law states. And frankly, I'm not even talking about this case in particular. Saying a 14 year old is a child by simplest terms is ridiculous. 9? Sure that's a child. And it has nothing to do with mental capacity. It has to do with a whole bunch of white guys deciding that under 18 is not old enough. The same people who say you can die in a battlefield when you're 18 but can't buy a drink until you're 21.

So you're saying that the law's definition has nothing to do with scientific studies about mental capacity? You really believe that all 14-year-olds are mature enough to make sound judgments? If that is your believe, we can stop here and agree to disagree.

About the drinking age, as I said before, if 18 is considered old enough to fight and die for your country, why not old enough to drink?

Again, stop thinking about the laws. You two are obviously female. You're going to tell me you have better insight into the mindset of a teenage boy than me? Excuse me, no.

So you are only here to argue the interests of teenage boys? How many teenage boys out there would say no to sex? What does that say? No, I am not going to tell you that I have better insight into the mindset of a teenage boy because I've never been a teenage boy but I've been around teenage boys when I was a teen myself and yes, they think about sex. A lot.

 

[Darthphere]

Ha, if this is going to be based off of the fact that I've never been a 14 year old teenage boy and can't relate, then it is DEFINITELY pointless for me to state my opinion any further.

Well honestly, other than taking on the pretty lame "Buckle it's the law" argument, you're debating that a 14 year old having sex is bad. Or are you saying that a 14 year old boy having sex with an older woman is bad? Do you think it's ok for two 14 year olds to have sex with each other? In either case, I don't see the harm in it. Yeah, I was the typical sex craved teenaged boy but on the basis of disclosure, I didn't have sex until I was 18. Other than maybe having some mold regret about not waiting and in this special case, having the fact that you lost your virginity plastered in newspapers, I think the kid will be fine.

I do however have to question what a 26 year old woman is doing having sex with a 14 year old. Her side is inexcusable.

 

[DBella]

Ha, if this is going to be based off of the fact that I've never been a 14 year old teenage boy and can't relate, then it is DEFINITELY pointless for me to state my opinion any further.

Well said, sister. :heart:

 

[Darthphere]

So you're saying that the law's definition has nothing to do with scientific studies about mental capacity? You really believe that all 14-year-olds are mature enough to make sound judgments? If that is your believe, we can stop here and agree to disagree..

If you really believe that any law is based on actual merit, I have to say that's pretty naive. Laws hardly ever have to anything to do with actual usefulness.

 

[DBella]

Well honestly, other than taking on the pretty lame "Buckle it's the law" argument, you're debating that a 14 year old having sex is bad. Or are you saying that a 14 year old boy having sex with an older woman is bad? Do you think it's ok for two 14 year olds to have sex with each other? In either case, I don't see the harm in it. Yeah, I was the typical sex craved teenaged boy but on the basis of disclosure, I didn't have sex until I was 18. Other than maybe having some mold regret about not waiting and in this special case, having the fact that you lost your virginity plastered in newspapers, I think the kid will be fine.

I do however have to question what a 26 year old woman is doing having sex with a 14 year old. Her side is inexcusable.

I think that's what Pickles and I have been trying to say all along. The one whom we think is in the wrong in this case is the adult woman. So, you're saying that it's perfectly okay for the 14 year old to have sex with the grown woman but it's not okay for her? Is the boy being charged? I don't think so. If you say it's inexcusable for her to have sex with him, then you're agreeing with the law.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

The only babysitter I had was when I was like 5 and my mom beat her up.

:/

 

[DBella]

If you really believe that any law is based on actual merit, I have to say that's pretty naive. Laws hardly ever have to anything to do with actual usefulness.

Then more points for you for being wiser than I am. That definition makes sense to me so I do suppose that makes me naive but I am content in my ignorance and naivete.

 

[Darthphere]

I think that's what Pickles and I have been trying to say all along. The one whom we think is in the wrong in this case is the adult woman. So, you're saying that it's perfectly okay for the 14 year old to have sex with the grown woman but it's not okay for her? Is the boy being charged? I don't think so. If you say it's inexcusable for her to have sex with him, then you're agreeing with the law.

Not necessarily. I mean, as the saying says, it takes two to tango and a 14 year old to answer your earlier question yes, is capable of making sound decisions and knowing what is right and wrong. Agreeing with something, doesn't mean I agree with the law. In this specific case, they got it right, but when a 19 year old kid is facing jail time for having sex with his 16 year old girlfriend, then that's a case where the law really doesn't work for me.

 

[AndThePickles]

Well honestly, other than taking on the pretty lame "Buckle it's the law" argument, you're debating that a 14 year old having sex is bad. Or are you saying that a 14 year old boy having sex with an older woman is bad? Do you think it's ok for two 14 year olds to have sex with each other? In either case, I don't see the harm in it. Yeah, I was the typical sex craved teenaged boy but on the basis of disclosure, I didn't have sex until I was 18. Other than maybe having some mold regret about not waiting and in this special case, having the fact that you lost your virginity plastered in newspapers, I think the kid will be fine.

I do however have to question what a 26 year old woman is doing having sex with a 14 year old. Her side is inexcusable.

I'm saying that it was not ok for this older woman to be having sex with a child. While I am personally of the opinion that 14 is too young for sex, I understand that kids out there are having sex with each other at a young age. They're immature and full of hormones. An adult woman knows exactly what she's doing. And regardless of the fact that you think the law is a lame argument, I do think it's the law for a reason. She is an adult, he is a child, and I think them having any sexual contact is wrong. That's quite a large age and maturity gap between them.

 

[Darthphere]

Then more points for you for being wiser than I am. That definition makes sense to me so I do suppose that makes me naive but I am content in my ignorance and naivete.

No need to get sensitive, we are adults here right, over the legal age of 17 right? We can discuss things and not get feelings caught correct? I don't think I'm smarter than you, frankly I know I'm not. But yes, it is naive to think that the law determining legal adult age is based on scientific studies.

 

[Matt]

What if this had been a ten year old boy? When I was ten, I was attracted to women. Of course being attracted and being of the right mental state to give consent are two different things.

I wonder what the people who claim this is not a crime would say if this were an ugly, overweight, 40 year old woman and not some hot young blonde? Would that be okay? I doubt half of the people saying it is not a crime would say that if such were the case. Or, what if it were a male babysitter and the 14 year old admitted it was consensual? I guarantee 90 % of the people defending the babysitter would be calling for a male babysitter's head, even if it were consensual.

A 14 year old is NOT old enough to make rational decisions in regards to something like that. A 28 year old woman is coercive by the sheer nature of being a 28 year old woman. It gives her a mental and physical advantage over the boy.

 

[DBella]

No need to get sensitive, we are adults here right, over the legal age of 17 right? We can discuss things and not get feelings caught correct? I don't think I'm smarter than you, frankly I know I'm not. But yes, it is naive to think that the law determining legal adult age is based on scientific studies.

You apparently do not know me well so the assumption is excusable. I'm the last person to catch feelings here. Always try to be objective and state my opinions and respect the opinions of others without catching feelings. It is perfectly fine with me to be considered naive. Honestly. It is past midnight here so I'm off. Maybe I should go cry while I'm off.

 

[Darthphere]

What if this had been a ten year old boy? When I was ten, I was attracted to women. Of course being attracted and being of the right mental state to give consent are two different things.

I wonder what the people who claim this is not a crime would say if this were an ugly, overweight, 40 year old woman and not some hot young blonde? Would that be okay? I doubt half of the people saying it is not a crime would say that if such were the case. Or, what if it were a male babysitter and the 14 year old admitted it was consensual? I guarantee 90 % of the people defending the babysitter would be calling for a male babysitter's head, even if it were consensual.

A 14 year old is NOT old enough to make rational decisions in regards to something like that. A 28 year old woman is coercive by the sheer nature of being a 28 year old woman. It gives her a mental and physical advantage over the boy.

What if she was a purple dinosaur? What if the kid has asthma? What if she had a snaggle tooth? What if he had no arms?

You apparently do not know me well so the assumption is excusable. I'm the last person to catch feelings here. Always try to be objective and state my opinions and respect the opinions of others without catching feelings. It is perfectly fine with me to be considered naive. Honestly.

I just don't want you to be mad at me.

 

[DBella]

I just don't want you to be mad at me.

I'm not. I'm tougher than you think I am. I actually have elephant's hide for skin. Goodnight, Darth.

 

[AndThePickles]

You apparently do not know me well so the assumption is excusable. I'm the last person to catch feelings here. Always try to be objective and state my opinions and respect the opinions of others without catching feelings. It is perfectly fine with me to be considered naive. Honestly. It is past midnight here so I'm off. Maybe I should go cry while I'm off.

Haha, I love you :heart:

 

[Matt]

What if she was a purple dinosaur? What if the kid has asthma? What if she had a snaggle tooth? What if he had no arms?

My point is a lot of people are looking at this through he eyes of ttheir own adolescent fantasy and not really asking whether or not the 14 year old is mentally capable to give consent.

 

[Darthphere]

Haha, I love you :heart:

You're a traitor Pickles.

 

[Ahura Mazda]

What if this had been a ten year old boy? When I was ten, I was attracted to women. Of course being attracted and being of the right mental state to give consent are two different things.

I wonder what the people who claim this is not a crime would say if this were an ugly, overweight, 40 year old woman and not some hot young blonde? Would that be okay? I doubt half of the people saying it is not a crime would say that if such were the case. Or, what if it were a male babysitter and the 14 year old admitted it was consensual? I guarantee 90 % of the people defending the babysitter would be calling for a male babysitter's head, even if it were consensual.

A 14 year old is NOT old enough to make rational decisions in regards to something like that. A 28 year old woman is coercive by the sheer nature of being a 28 year old woman. It gives her a mental and physical advantage over the boy.

That is a fallacy because of course if the women was older and ugly our opinions would be different and many here are not commenting on the general law but moreso on how the general law applies in this particular case. I do not know what the true ramifications are and really who does, besides those directly involved.

When I was 18, I was dating a 28 year old. There was a 10 year gap which is not too far off the gap here. Of course, I was older but I would be kidding myself if I suggested that I was significantly more mature. I sufferred no harm from it.

Now based on the photo which is her without makeup I can understand how a kid would even pursure her let alone let himself be seduced by her. Whether this will affect him detrimentally is something none of us have any idea but the law does not look at specific examples as it cannot do. It is meant to make general statements and let the judges make the specific judgements.

This kid may have either been very lucky but we cannot truly know that. However, she will be punished because of other cases where the situation may be consideerably more detrimental.

 

[Matt]

Psychologists will disagree with your assertion that there is not much change in maturity between 14 and 18.

 

[Ahura Mazda]

Psychologists will disagree with your assertion that there is not much change in maturity between 14 and 18.

I was speaking for myself and not for the genral public.