Stupid People Doing Stupid Things Thread - Part 1

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GOP Candidate Convinced His Opponent Is a "Body Double or a Robot"

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Longtime GOP Rep. Frank Lucas won his primary in Oklahoma on Tuesday, but one of his opponents is pretty sure the real Frank Lucas died three years ago. Tim Murray wrote a letter announcing his plan to contest Lucas's win, explaining, "It is widely known Rep. Frank D. Lucas is no longer alive and has been displayed by a look alike."

Murray alleges Lucas was executed in Ukraine in 2011 and has since been replaced with a body double, according to KFOR. Lucas told KFOR he's never been to Ukraine. "Many things have been said about me, said to me in the course of all my campaigns. This is the first time I've ever been accused of being a body double or a robot," he says.

Murray, who got 5.2 percent of the vote on Tuesday, officially has until the end of the day to contest the primary results. He explains his qualifications for office on his campaign website:

I, Timothy Ray Murray, am a human, born in Oklahoma, and obtained and continue to fully meet the requirements to serve as U.S. Representative when honored to so. I will never use a look alike to replace my (The Office's) message to you or to anyone else, as both the other Republican Challengers have.

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Seems like there's an easy answer here: Murray is "a human," and Lucas is "dead." Murray should get Lucas's votes.
Click to expand...

http://kfor.com/2014/06/26/congressional-candidate-feels-opponent-is-a-body-double/

Those darn body doubles and robots strike again
 
What if he's a body double of the robot who was reprogrammed by the resistance from the future to make sure that idiot didn't win? :wow:
 
GOP Hopeful: My Public *********ion Fetish and Felonies Were Bad Ideas

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Jordan D. Haskins, candidate for Michigan Legislature, wants everyone to know conservatives embrace imperfect people, too. So let him explain his multiple felony convictions for breaking into government vehicles, disconnecting the sparkplugs, and jerking off while the engines cranked.

"I have dreams, and I want to make a difference," says Haskins, the Republican candidate in a heavily Democratic House district. But don't tell him about the odds. He probably can't hear you, anyway, since he's still on parole until just before Election Day in November.

Via The Saginaw News:

Haskins' criminal charges stem from trespassing on private and public property in four cases from April 2010 to January 2011, when he was sent to prison. As part of the break-ins, he started vehicles to facilitate an uncommon sexual fetish Haskins called "cranking" in interviews with police...

"I was just a lonely, angry kid at the time," he said. "If anything, I could be put on 'World's Dumbest Criminals.'"

Haskins said he was drawn to criminal behavior for the "the thrill."

"I was bored," he said. "It was the rush."

The young man apparently racked up a bunch of juvenile raps as well as "a lengthy list of sentences to prison, county jail and probation for offenses Haskins committed in 2006, 2007, 2008 and 2009," mostly auto- and theft-related.

But after a move from North Carolina to Michigan, things got a little out of hand:

Haskins admitted to police that, on both occasions, he broke into the yard where vehicles were parked, incident reports from the Saginaw County Sheriff's Department show. He said he pulled spark plug wires on sheriff, mosquito control and other vehicles parked there.

"Jordan would remove the spark plug wires and sit in the car and *********e while the motor was sparking and making noises," the police report states.

Haskins was charged with additional misdemeanor offenses related to a third incident at the mosquito control property in October 2010.

According to that incident report, Haskins again said that he damaged county vehicles by pulling spark plug wires to "*********e while cranking the engine." Deputies said he told them the act is a sexual fetish he learned about online.

Sentenced to probation, he ended up back in jail after felony convictions related to another couple of similar incidents:

According to police reports, Haskins said he jumped a fence at the city of Saginaw's parking lot at 1435 S. Washington on Jan. 7, 2011. He told sheriff's deputies in a later interview that he went joyriding in the parking lot and *********ed in a city police cruiser and a city pickup, the report shows.

On Jan. 24, 2011, according to police reports, Haskins jumped a chain-link fence and opened a garage door at Scientific Brake, 314 W. Genesee. Then he drove a truck on the grounds, he told police. Again, police reports state he admitted to "listening to the engine idle and *********ing."

Now a few years older and wiser—and after a 20-month stretch in state prison—Haskins is sparkplug-free, like a Diesel engine. He says he's "found my niche, my passion" in conservative politics.

"The three values that make up my stool of conservatism are faith, family and freedom," he says. "And I believe that many of the citizens of Saginaw share those same values."
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http://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw/index.ssf/2014/06/saginaw_republican_running_for.html

I'm sure this is the guy people want representing them :o
 
Fired Nanny Refuses to Leave Home, Terrorizes Family

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Some people work for the man, others make the man work for them. Diane Stretton is/was a live-in nanny hired by the Bracamonte family of Upland, Calif. A few months ago she stopped working and, after being fired, refused to leave the family's home. She has also imposed Nanny's Law—invented by Diane Stretton—on the household.

Stretton was hired in March to help Marcella Bracamonte care for three children ages 11, 4, and 1. In exchange for her work, Stretton was provided room and board. But then the monster became sentient.

"The first few weeks she was awesome," Bracamonte said. "She would come places with us, help out the kids. She was really great."

Then things changed.

"All of a sudden she stopped working, she would stay in her room all day and only come out when food was ready," said Bracamonte.

The Bracamontes say that Stretton told them she would be leaving the house 30 days from June 6, but when they went to get that in writing, Stretton told them that such a contract would not be "legal."

So the Bracamontes called the police who did that police thing where they're like, "I dunno, lady":

Bracamonte called the police, but the cops declined to do anything, saying it was a civil matter. Lt. John Moore of the Upland Police Department confirmed to ABC News that there is no immediate action that can be taken against Stretton, saying "generally, once somebody has established residency, you have to go through a formal eviction process."

This, it appears, has allowed Stretton to call checkmate:

Stretton is still living in the family's home, eating the family's food and Bracamonte said Stretton told her she wanted the family out of the house from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m.

I think we call agree that Stretton—who is threatening to sue the family, which isn't surprising seeing as she's been cited by the state of California for abusing the legal system—is being an *******. And yet this is kind of hilarious.

Says Bracamonte:

"I'm not going to bend for her," said Bracamonte. "I'm in charge, this is my house. She's not going to scare me out of my own house."

Or will she?
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http://abcnews.go.com/US/family-stu...-leave/story?id=24316229#.U613O-cgxug.twitter

What a psycho. This is why you always want to do a thorough background check before allowing someone to establish residency in your home
 
DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs said:
GOP Hopeful: My Public *********ion Fetish and Felonies Were Bad Ideas

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Click to expand...
You know when you hear about a crime and you imagine what the person who did it looks like, and then you see an actual picture of that person...Yeah, I do not have a hard time believing that this guy totally *********es in cars.
 
DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs said:
GOP Candidate Convinced His Opponent Is a "Body Double or a Robot"

http://kfor.com/2014/06/26/congressional-candidate-feels-opponent-is-a-body-double/

Those darn body doubles and robots strike again
Click to expand...

If I were to choose between him and the dead guy, the dead guy would probably get the vote.

DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs said:
GOP Hopeful: My Public *********ion Fetish and Felonies Were Bad Ideas

http://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw/index.ssf/2014/06/saginaw_republican_running_for.html

I'm sure this is the guy people want representing them :o
Click to expand...

Sometimes honesty is not the best policy and it can result in oversharing. This is such a case.

DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs said:
Fired Nanny Refuses to Leave Home, Terrorizes Family

http://abcnews.go.com/US/family-stu...-leave/story?id=24316229#.U613O-cgxug.twitter

What a psycho. This is why you always want to do a thorough background check before allowing someone to establish residency in your home
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They did a background check but it must have been shoddy to not see she'd sued people dozens of times over the years to the point she's on "Vexatious Litigant List" with the state of California according to CNN.
 
Teelie said:
Sometimes honesty is not the best policy and it can result in oversharing. This is such a case.
Click to expand...
But could you imagine the hilarious smear campaigns and political commercials the opposition could have come up with if he tried to hide it!?

He is running for public office, it was bound to come out at some point. There is no way I would trust him alone in any public office or area.

Hell, just running for office and announcing this to everyone is probably exciting to him and is feeding his fetish.
 
This kind of information coming out from is going to make a smear campaign against him meaningless so it doesn't matter. There is no way he can spin this as any kind of positive and get elected.

I don't know if this is feeding his fetish or not but it's still something that is going to follow him everywhere and prevent him from going anywhere. And that's on top of his felony convictions.

The only benefit to his "coming out" on these convictions is that it's a lesson to everyone else: Don't crank and *********e inside government vehicles.
 
LMAO who are these people that need to learn this lesson? I know there is that one guy that likes to pleasure himself with peoples inflatable rafts and keeps getting arrested. Some folks out there are just weird man
 
I have learned that when no matter how bizarre or unusual the fetish, there are others who share it or will be as soon as they read it on the internet and decide to start doing it themselves.
 
Can I say it...men...? :o

For some reason it seems to be the guys willing to put their dongs in some sketchy places, whereas women seem to be more discerning about what goes up their hoohas.

Oh heck, when you hear of an ER case where someone stuck something up their nether region too far, it's almost always still a guy. :funny:
 
Ya there are def a lot of freaks in this world. For all the loving I've had over the years I have to say my preferences are pretty tame although I've been with a few that wanted me to do kinky stuff for them. I'm not really into a bunch of weird stuff. But hey, if that's your bag then have fun. As long as it doesn't negatively impact others I have no beef with it.
 
Anita18 said:
Can I say it...men...? :o

For some reason it seems to be the guys willing to put their dongs in some sketchy places, whereas women seem to be more discerning about what goes up their hoohas.

Oh heck, when you hear of an ER case where someone stuck something up their nether region too far, it's almost always still a guy. :funny:
Click to expand...
Men are biologically driven to do insane and crazy ****.
 
Teelie said:
This kind of information coming out from is going to make a smear campaign against him meaningless so it doesn't matter. There is no way he can spin this as any kind of positive and get elected.

I don't know if this is feeding his fetish or not but it's still something that is going to follow him everywhere and prevent him from going anywhere. And that's on top of his felony convictions.

The only benefit to his "coming out" on these convictions is that it's a lesson to everyone else: Don't crank and *********e inside government vehicles.
Click to expand...
The whole thing just reminded me of a skit on Mr. Show episode for some reason.
 
Kansas Woman Charged With Arson After Trying to Light A Spider on Fire

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A woman in Kansas is facing an arson charge after doing what anyone would after catching a spider in his or her home: lighting a small fire with towels in order to catch the spider in the fire and kill it.

According to the Hutchinson News, five fire department units were called out at 1:36AM after the 34-year-old woman, named Ginny M. Griffith, used a cigarette lighter to light a pile of towels on fire in an attempt to catch and kill the (nightmare) spider. From Hutchinson News:

Deputy Fire Chief Doug Hanen said in a press release that firefighters found light smoke coming from the woman's half of the duplex and some clothing smoldering just inside the doorway. They found multiple other points of origin for the fire and brought it under control within minutes, Hanen said.

No one was injured and the building only suffered light smoke damage, but because the other half of the duplex was occupied—and firefighters found multiple points of origin for the fire—Griffith was arrested for aggravated arson.

Griffith was held in the, fingers crossed, spider-free Reno County jail in lieu of the $7,500 bond.
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http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2014/06...to-kill-a-spider/8261403893439/?spt=sec&or=on

What would have been the problem with squishing it like a normal person?
 
Vendor Shoots Woman At Gun Show While Demonstrating Gun Use

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A vendor selling guns at an arms show in Bloomsburg, Pa. on Saturday under the business name In Case of Emergency Enterprises shot a woman in the leg accidentally when demonstrating a concealed-carry wallet holster. To reiterate: his business is called In Case of Emergency Enterprises.

Geoffrey Hawk was shilling for his company at the Eagle Arms Gun Show when the incident happened. Hawk told police that it was possible that someone loaded the gun when he was busy as he thought the gun was unloaded during the demonstration. He said he had done the same demonstration twenty times without the gun firing.

Joel Koehler, the man who runs this particular arms show, said this was the first shooting that the show had ever seen.

Via the Associated Press:

The Columbia County district attorney's office will determine whether the vendor, Geoffrey Hawk, will face criminal charges stemming from the shooting Saturday at the Bloomsburg Fairgrounds, Officer Brad Sharrow said.

After the shooting, Hawk was asked to close his booth and leave the show while the rest of the events continued on Sunday. Krista Gearhart, the 25-year-old woman whom Hawk shot, was taken to a local hospital, and treated for a thigh wound. She has since been released.
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http://bigstory.ap.org/article/cops-vendor-shoots-woman-pennsylvania-gun-show

Just one more reason these stupid gun shows either need to be shut down completely or become very heavily regulated
 
Kelly Osbourne Gets Tattoo of Plural Noun On Head

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Kelly Osbourne, child of two other Osbournes, got a new tattoo on Sunday. She is sorry to her mum and dad, but "she loves it." The head ink uses Courier typeface and an ellipses that promises there is more to come. It reads "Stories..."

Stories...and then what? What about stories?
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Good thing she never has to get a real job I guess
 
School Defends Calling Kindergartner's Actions "Sexual Misconduct"

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Five-year-old Eric Lopez received detention in the spring for pulling his pants down on the playground at Ashton Ranch Elementary School in Arizona. The school deemed the act "sexual misconduct"—a ruling that will remain in his permanent file. The district is now defending its actions.

According to AZFamily, the boy's mother, Erica Martinez, has been trying to have the sexual misconduct label removed from Eric's file for two months, given that his actions were not sexual. So far, the district has refused. Assistant Superintendent Jim Dean said in a statement:

"Our school district uses consistent language for disciplinary infractions in order to provide clarity and track discipline data accurately."

...

"Even though the discipline labels are consistently used and the discipline form is consistent from grades K-12 to ensure all legal mandates are met, the discussion the administrator has about a situation and consequences are age appropriate. The discussion with a kindergarten student is focused on the specific action, not on the label that is used for classifying the infraction."

AZFamily points out that there are systems in place to keep children from being accused of sexual offenses:

A state of Arizona initiative called AZ SAFE helps provide clarification to districts to assist them with the collection of information.

Under its definitions for sexual offenses, the state recommends that every district take into account the age and maturity of a student before placing their actions in the sexual offense category.

Dean says Martinez will be allowed to add a rebuttal to Eric's permanent file, so her thoughts about the decision can be on record.
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http://www.azfamily.com/news/Distri...-sexual-misconduct-discipline--264988721.html

This is freaking ridiculous
 
Woman Is Given Free Weed With Meal At Sonic, Inexplicably Complains

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The number one rule of getting free weed is that you keep the free weed, a lesson that Carla McFarland of Frederick, Md. was not privy to on Wednesday. When she ordered food from local fast food chain Sonic, and it arrived with a baggie filled with weed, McFarland complained to a manager and called the police.

Via the Frederick News-Post:

"I just kind of sat there in my car in shock," McFarland said Thursday. "I kept thinking, what if my kids had eaten it?"

A manager at the Sonic told McFarland that an employee said that the weed must have fallen out of her apron when she was serving the customer. The employee has since been fired from the restaurant.

McFarland was still not pleased. As she told the Frederick News-Post, "I think that's why everyone thinks it's so funny, because it's marijuana and it's going to be legalized," she said. "It could have been crack. It could have been cocaine in that little baggie."

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Click to expand...

http://www.fredericknewspost.com/ne...cle_ec75e95c-335e-5cef-b474-0a603059238a.html

Really lady, what if your kids had eaten it? Are they incredibly stupid? This lady was well withing her rights to complain but she is taking this way too seriously
 
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