Stupid People Doing Stupid Things Thread - Part 1

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Prison Inmates Break Out, Get Wasted, Then Sneak Back In

A group of four prisoners at a work release center in Australia's Berrimah jail are suspected of repeatedly sneaking out to get drunk and high, then breaking back in before correctional officers noticed.

According to Australia's ABC, the inmates would "from time to time" wait until the evening headcount, then jump a cyclone fence and meet up with accomplices from outside, who would help them acquire booze and weed. They'd come back a few hours later, and no one would be the wiser.

It would have worked, too, except for one little flaw in the plan: They were too drunk to keep it going.

On Sunday night, officers broke up a drunken fight between five prisoners over a contraband cellphone. Four of them were the alleged escapees.

A search of the area turned up "two empty bottles of alcohol, five mobile phones, phone chargers, a small quantity of a 'green leafy substance,' a cigarette lighter, and rolling papers," the ABC reports.

"It would appear that a couple of prisoners have jumped the fence but returned," a spokesman for the Northern Territory Department of Correctional Services said, "They may have been out for a while."

Police are now deciding whether breaking out of, and then back into, a correctional facility constitutes an "escape." In the meantime, the four men are cooling off in Berrimah's maximum security section, which should prove a bit harder to temporarily leave.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-07-28/berrimah-inmates-break-out-of-prison-then-return-drunk/5629540

It was bound to blow up on them one day I guess

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Girl Eats Chips Off NYC Train Floor Because Chips Are Worth It

[YT]V7l_Ope3vbQ[/YT]

What, you think you like chips? You don't. Not the way this young woman filmed on the Metro North train by a fellow rider does. After what appears to be a long night of partying, the blond hero pursues the American dream: chips followed by chips and more chips, straight from the dirty floor.

Chips should never, ever be wasted, no matter what battle you must go through to acquire them. If you need proof, just watch the expression on her face at the end of the clip. She knows.

http://gothamist.com/2014/07/29/train_floor_chips_yummo.php

60 second rule Lots of drunk folks today for some reason

 

[Persistence]

Cruise Line Screws Over Family of 5-Year-Old With Cancer

http://www.myfoxny.com/story/26106563/boy-cancer-cruise

It amazes me when companies do things like this. You would think someone would realize that it's about to be a PR nightmare

Wow, do cruises really cost that much? How long would the three have been on the ship?

Usually companies reverse their policy when situations when issues like this hit the mainstream media.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Wow, do cruises really cost that much? How long would the three have been on the ship?

Usually companies reverse their policy when situations when issues like this hit the mainstream media.

It sounds to me like they were probably going for a week or so, that's about how much it cost for a family of 3. I know they have weekend cruises here in FL that cast about $600-$700 for the weekend per person. These specialty cruises charge a premium as well since they have characters for the kids and stuff. Cruises are expensive but they usually are all inclusive so but it will cost ya

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Insurance Company Won't Cover Cost of Teen Cancer Survivor's New Teeth

Alex Hunter, 16, had to have his teeth removed this month after they had been ruined by years of radiation treatments for cancer. His family's insurance helped cover part of the cost to have his teeth removed, but won't pay for new dentures. The family started a gofundme campaign yesterday to raise the $11,000 needed for the dentures, and have already exceeded their goal. (Current total: $13,902.)

"[The insurance] said it wasn't a medical issue and of course it's from a medical issue," Alex's grandmother Roberta told KERO.

Hunter has beaten cancer for the second time. From the Daily Mail:

Alex was just four when he was first diagnosed with a rare type of cancer, Embryonal Parameningeal Rhabdomyosarcoma, after a mass started growing in his cheek.

He underwent aggressive chemotherapy and stayed in hospital for months as he battled the side effects of the radiation. He lost vision in his left eye and feeling on the left side of his face.

He was also left with a thin frame, teeth problems and thyroid gland issues, but in July 2003, doctors said he was cancer-free.

Then in November 2011, when he was 13, he was back to hospital to undergo surgery on an enlarged thyroid gland - and doctors learned he had Hurthle Cell Carcinoma, a rare thyroid cancer.

"He doesn't smile because his teeth were never attractive," Roberta Hunter told the Daily Mail. "He was anxious to get them out and get it over with but now we're waiting to see what's next."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...ay-dentures-claiming-NOT-medical-expense.html

It's things like this that make people really hate insurance companies. What a bunch of garbage. If you would like to donate to his GoFundMe here is the link:

http://www.gofundme.com/alex-hunter-medical-fund

Amazing how much has survived through at such a young age

 

[Monsieur Xavier]

Dear Teens: Please Stop Lighting Yourselves on Fire

http://time.com/3057938/dear-teens-please-stop-lighting-yourselves-on-fire/

By the 10 thousand facepalms of Jean-Luc Picard .... stupidity warp factor 8.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Haha young and dumb man. Eventually they figure out fire = hot! I can't say I didn't dabble with some flamage back in the day

 

[Monsieur Xavier]

^^
So am I but we didn't have to think about it to know that putting gasoline on your torso and lighting it up is a bad idea.
I blame Facebook, it makes people dumber that they are.

 

[Anubis]

Nah some people are just dumb. Now they're filming their dumbness.

 

[Monsieur Xavier]

Dumbness without broadcasting is like a tree falling in the forest without being heard, it didn't happened. Now with the Internet and fast info, we hear everything !

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Someone Poured a Beer on a Tiger at a Drunken, Rowdy London Zoo Party

The London Zoo is being investigated after allegations that drunken, lucrative after-hours parties are putting the animals' welfare in danger. Hammered, sometimes naked guests have repeatedly tried to enter animal enclosures, and in one case, "a beer [was] thrown over a tiger," the Guardian reports.

The Westminster city council began looking into the issue after zoo sources claimed that the ordinarily diligent zoo threw concerns about animals' safety "out of the window" during Zoo Lates events. A petition to stop the Friday night event series has collected more than 16,000 signatures.

The council will decide whether serving alcohol at the parties, which draw upward of 6,000 people a night, is such a good idea after a man stripped and tried to go swimming in the penguin pool and a drunk woman allegedly tried to break into the lion exhibit.

Zoo Lates is primarily attended by young, wealthy drinkers, the Guardian reported, and although music takes the form of a "silent disco," with guests listening via headphones, people constantly sing loudly while animals are trying to sleep.

"That's not what zoos are about, but there's a lot of money in it," a source told the Guardian. The events bring in around $1.35 million a year, according to the zoo.

The zoo countered that only three people have been ejected from Zoo Lates during the past two summers, but didn't specify whether those three were the penguin and lion enthusiasts and the tiger-soaker.

"We would ban alcohol if we thought it was necessary, but at the moment we see no need to do so," a spokeswoman said.

http://www.theguardian.com/environm...-westminster-council-investigation?CMP=twt_gu

I say let these drunk idiots get in the cage and see if they want to throw beers at em

 

[Monsieur Xavier]

"We would ban alcohol if we thought it was necessary, but at the moment we see no need to do so," a spokeswoman said.

HAhahahahahaaa ..yeah.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Language School Blogger Fired for Writing About Homophones

A social media specialist for a Utah language school that teaches English to non-native speakers says he was fired for writing a blog post about homophones—words that sound the same, but carry different meanings—because his boss was afraid readers would think it was about "gay sex."

Tim Torkildson told the Salt Lake Tribune that shortly after his lesson went up, Nomen Global Language Center owner Clarke Woodger fired him, complaining "now our school is going to be associated with homosexuality."

"I had to look up the word" Woodger said, according to the account Torkildson published on his personal blog, "because I didn't know what the hell you were talking about. We don't teach this kind of advanced stuff to our students, and it's extremely inappropriate. Can you have your desk cleaned out by eleven this morning? I'll have your check ready."

It seems too ridiculous to believe, but Torkildson's former employer confirmed the incident of homophonia actually happened.

"People at this level of English," Woodger told the Tribune, "may see the 'homo' side and think it has something to do with gay sex."

Torkildson disagrees. He wrote that homophones are "one of the first subjects tackled when teaching ESL," and said his piece about them was very straightforward. The Tribune points out the Nomen blog published another post on the topic in 2011, apparently without incident.

Torkildson, a 60-year-old who enjoys taking quirky selfies, had only worked at Nomen for three months. Although he claims Woodger told him he's only suited for "clerical work," he's now seeking another social media job.

http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/politics/58236366-90/says-english-homophones-language.html.csp

That is one of the stupidest things I have ever reported on. How has this guy not lawyered up and sued the pants off these idiots?

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Teen Girl Raped in Front of Huge Crowd at Keith Urban Show

A teen girl was raped on the lawn at a Keith Urban show in Mansfield, Massachusetts this weekend in front of multiple witnesses, according to police. After fleeing the scene, suspect Sean Murphy, 18, was arrested and charged with rape.

According to CNN, the victim was 17 years old. Murphy allegedly led her away from her friends and began having sex with her while a crowd gathered to videotape it with their phones. The Mansfield police department will now use those recordings as evidence. A police statement about the alleged attack said in part, "the rape ended when a woman in the crowd pushed the alleged attacker off the victim and he fled." My Fox Boston reports that later in the night, "while phoning his parents, [Murphy] was overheard saying he 'messed up.'"

Murphy's lawyer says the sex was consensual.

This particular Keith Urban show was "nutso," in Urban's own words — in addition to the alleged rape, 20 people were hospitalized for being too drunk. Before the rape allegation was made public, Urban posted a YouTube video about the show, exclaiming, "Up on the lawn tonight, that was nutso. It was so cool." The video has since been deleted.

http://www.cnn.com/2014/07/30/showbiz/keith-urban-concert-rape/

And people say rap concerts and raves are ruining the youth

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Lockport Police Not Sure If "Negro" Is Offensive Word

Today, in a greater effort to protect and serve, the Lockport Police Department posted a question to its Facebook page. Perhaps unaware of the social media storm that ensued after the New York Police Department asked Twitter users to post photos using the #MyNYPD hashtag in April, Lockport PD wondered:

According to the 2010 Census, nearly 22,000 people inhabit the small Upstate New York town and 87 percent of those residents are white. You can imagine, then, what happened next.

Is that so, Gary? Please, tell me more.

Because calling someone fat is the same as calling someone a n*****, right?

Lol? More like :-(

But wait, there's a good explanation for all of this. Mark Sanders, lifelong black man and community policing aide, wrote the post. So, ya know, no need to get angry about it.

This is about awareness. A-W-A-R-E-N-E-S-S .... Or is it?

No word yet from Mark.

Like the true American Hero she was meant to become, Chenia Hardy embraces her destiny and swoops in to tell it like it is.

So it's confirmed: Lockport is a raggedy city. Glad that's settled.

UPDATE: Lockport PD have since deleted the Facebook post. According to WGRZ, however, it seems the post came about after the police department identified Shamir Allen, a 19-year-old shooting suspect, as a "dark negro" in its database. "Apparently, this shows that there's certain aspects of Western New York, where it appears that racism is alive and well, especially within a police department," said Frank Mesiah, who is president of the NAACP Buffalo Branch.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Lockport-Police-Department/498545230188628

Haha what a bunch of morons

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Cop Gets Job Back After Claiming ***** Cream Tainted His Drug Test

A Miami Beach cop, fired last year when his random drug test came back positive for cocaine, has been reinstated. He claimed he'd never done coke, and the test result had been caused by a cream he rubbed on his genitals.

Homicide Detective Reinaldo Casas said he got the sex aid cream from a friend who, he testified, told him it "would help him in his sexual liaisons." The friend claimed to have obtained it from "an old Cuban guy."

The Miami Herald reports the cream was a homemade Vaseline-like concoction packaged in unmarked purple containers, and according to the man who gave it to Casas, "it worked."

None of the witnesses admitted to knowing what was in the magical *****-medicine.

"Having never knowingly used cocaine, I was baffled, perplexed and confused," Casas said in his grievance filing.

Despite the city's argument that the detective should have had some idea what he was putting on his penis, arbitrators ruled in Casas' favor. He'll be allowed to rejoin the department and will receive back pay.

http://www.miamiherald.com/2014/07/31/4264753/fired-miami-beach-cop-gets-job.html

Must have been that Yayo Extra Strength Penis Balm

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

​New Mexico Jerk Throws 8-Week-Old Kitten Against Brick Wall

An 8-week-old kitten will be short a leg—if he manages to survive at all—after some crap-sucking knuckle-dragging ***hole decided to toss him against a brick wall from a moving truck.

Veterinarians say Sam the Kitten suffered a broken elbow, a bloody nose and some head trauma in the incident in Los Lunas on Wednesday morning, and is on IV fluids and pain medication.

If Sam survives the next 24 hours, vets will amputate his shattered right leg on Friday morning.

"Oh heck, he'll be a happy, healthy kitten if all goes well by Saturday morning. He won't miss this leg," Samantha McKinney of the Bosque Animal Clinic told KRQE in Albuquerque.

McKinney says that she already has a new home for Sam lined up and ready when he recovers.

Meanwhile, the jerk who thought it would be funny to throw a helpless kitten into a wall is still at large. Authorities say that the clown—or clowns—responsible could face a felony extreme cruelty to animals charge in the case.

http://krqe.com/2014/07/30/kitten-thrown-at-brick-wall-from-truck/

Some people are just sick in the head

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

One-Legged Drunk Lady Attacks Flight Attendants With Prosthetic

On a flight from Enfindha, Tunisia to Edinburgh, Scotland last night, a drunk woman, apparently angry that flight crew members wouldn't give her cigarettes and/or a parachute, allegedly took off her prosthetic leg and attacked flight attendants with it.

Before going after the crew, the woman reportedly slapped a young girl in the face. The incident forced the pilot to make an emergency landing at London's Gatwick airport, where the woman was arrested.

John Smith, a passenger, gave the Scotsman an eyewitness account:

"She was off her face on drink.

"She was shouting 'I want cigarettes' and that she wanted a parachute to jump off the plane.

"She slapped a young girl and then assaulted the cabin crew with her prosthetic leg.

"They took it off her, but she started kicking them with her good leg."

Smith added that it "sounds funny," but "was not a laughing matter at the time. It was serious."

The plane allegedly sat for an hour on the runway in London, where passengers sang the Hokey Cokey—the British Hokey Pokey—as the woman was escorted out.

Just to twist the knife a little more, the Sussex Police saw fit to mention the woman's employment status in their statement to the Scotsman:

"At 10.22pm on Wednesday 30 July a 48-year-old unemployed woman from Edinburgh was arrested at the North Terminal, Gatwick Airport, on suspicion of using threatening behaviour while aboard Thompson flight 297 from Tunisia to Edinburgh.

"The flight was diverted into Gatwick after it was alleged the woman had been abusive and had thrown a prosthetic leg and food at cabin crew."

The flight, which was scheduled to land at 11:30 p.m., finally touched down in Edinburgh at 2:30 a.m.

http://www.scotsman.com/news/odd/drunk-passenger-attacked-plane-crew-with-false-leg-1-3495360

And that is why you don't drink and fly

 

[Hellion]

One-Legged Drunk Lady Attacks Flight Attendants With Prosthetic

http://www.scotsman.com/news/odd/drunk-passenger-attacked-plane-crew-with-false-leg-1-3495360

And that is why you don't drink and fly

Reading the headline, this was the first thing I thought of…

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Haha that's funny, you would think if you wanted to fight someone you would need the extra support but what do I know?

 

[KevanG]

Language School Blogger Fired for Writing About Homophones

http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/politics/58236366-90/says-english-homophones-language.html.csp

That is one of the stupidest things I have ever reported on. How has this guy not lawyered up and sued the pants off these idiots?

So his boss is a total idiot who can't understand how a dictionary works or how to look up words online so he's going to fire a guy because he's too ignorant to just ask what he means? I'd say this guy has a good chance of winning a lawsuit.

 

[Dave McFly]

Lockport Police Not Sure If "Negro" Is Offensive Word

Haha what a bunch of morons

gotta love my home state I live about an hour away from Lockport/Buffalo *sigh*

 

[OctaviusINC]

Teen Girl Raped in Front of Huge Crowd at Keith Urban Show

According to CNN, the victim was 17 years old. Murphy allegedly led her away from her friends and began having sex with her while a crowd gathered to videotape it with their phones.[/IMG]

Christ, man, really? Everyone's world is viewed through a damn smartphone. Put the phone down and rip the guy off her. You're getting raped publicly and everyone is crowded around you filming it. Yeah, thanks.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Cops Break Into Car, Save Helpless Baby Doll Trapped Inside

The world reached peak hot-car hysteria this week when Hoboken, New Jersey cops shattered a car window to rescue Todd, the not-even-particularly-lifelike baby doll trapped inside.

Kitty Miseles, the car's owner, said her two-year-old granddaughter left the cloth-wrapped, human-shaped hunk of plastic in the car's backseat. Police arrived at the vehicle after Miseles' brother parked it and a passerby called 911 about an infant in danger.

"When he came out, there were the cops and the ambulance and they broke the window thinking that there was a baby in there, but it wasn't a baby, it was a doll," Miseles told ABC, summing the situation up nicely.

Thomas Molta, head of Hoboken's Volunteer Ambulance Corp, defended the break-in, citing stuff like "the difference between a baby breathing [and] not breathing." Whatever you say, Molta:

"Seconds are paramount there, that's the difference between a baby breathing, not breathing, pulse, no pulse," Molta said.

Todd is back home and Kitty is making a claim to repair the window.

"You can replace a window, but you can't replace a life," Molta said.

You can't replace a human life, but you can replace a baby doll.

http://7online.com/family/hoboken-emts-break-into-car-to-rescue-baby-doll/230377/

A for effort I guess. I would assume they are responsible for the damages

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Vietnam Vet Says Burglars Smoked His Dead Wife's Ashes

An Alabama man suspects that the burglars who broke into his house also tried to smoke his dead wife's ashes in a failed attempt to get high.

Vietnam War veteran Philip McMullen says his Citronelle, Ala., home was "ransacked" while he was away last week. Someone stole his generator, chainsaw, and a handful of other items, and tried to get into his gun safe.

Worst of all, he told Fox 10, "They even took my wife's ashes off my headboard, strewed them around, looked like they tried to smoke some of them or something."

Because the ashes were in a metal box, not a traditional urn, McMullen believes the burglars mistook them for drugs.

But they soon learned that the plot of stoner comedy How High (2001)—in which Redman and Method Man summon their dead friend's spirit by getting high on his remains—was unrealistic given the constraints of physics and human biology.

"I guess they figured out this stuff ain't worth smoking, so they threw it up underneath one of my toolboxes," McMullen said.

Mobile, Ala. police are still investigating the incident. Red and Meth have been touring Europe since mid-July.

http://fox10tv.com/2014/07/30/exclusive-victim-burglar-smoked-my-wifes-ashes/

How stupid are you if you mistake ashes for something to smoke?