If there are coherent “rules” and “logic” to the new Earth-Prime continuity, I don’t understand them. Perhaps we’re just supposed to go-with-it and not analyze too deeply. Arrowverse Wiki (not necessarily gospel) provides a list of characters who either retained their “prior Earths” memories or had them restored in one fashion or another. Clark Kent/Superman is on the list; but Lois Lane is not. Thus, Lois wouldn’t have any personal trauma about a dead/erased son — because, for her, that reality never happened. Clark, OTOH, might have some distressing dual memories. But I don’t recall this being addressed in the S&L pilot teleplay. Moreover, the notion of dual memories would seem to be arbitrary (if not problematic). Kara, for instance, knows her Earth-38 history; but she has no memory of recording a promo for the Earth-Prime Lex and DEO. So by that reckoning, will she be shocked to discover that her cousin has two teenaged sons instead of a single newborn? Or will she “remember” this reality much like Clark “remembers” it? But why would Kara accept/recall this detail as an alternative reality but staunchly repudiate the promo?