The awkward moments thread!

[Enriquespy]

I was in "Secundaria" like elementary high, I was 13 and unce a teacher cougth me with my eyes in her cleavage direction... 5 silent seconds.

 

[Figs]

The most awkward moment for me is easy to remember. I was in third grade, during lunch a bunch of kids were playing kick ball on the blacktop and I was watching with a few friends on the ramp to one of the portable classrooms. The ball got kicked our way and I grabbed it, I was going to throw it to them(which would have been the smart thing to do if I could forsee what was going to happen) but noticed the kid asking for it was a dick.

I pretended I was going to give it to him a couple of times just messing with him, reaching out with it and then bringing it back in. After the third time or so, he reaches up and pulls not just my pants but my underwear down as well. First thing I did was pulled them back up lightning fast and ran to the bathroom in embarrasment lol!! My face must have been so red, and after lunch I walked into the classroom wanting to kill myself lol.

 

[JewishHobbit]

I had kind of an awkward moment a week or two ago. After church I went out to eat with some friends of mine. One of them is a girl named Candice who I was real close with 7 years ago. Her boyfriend Duane... also a pastor... that I've been friends with for years, and the last is Candice's little sister Tiffany who is 14. this is the first time I've seen her in 7 years and I know that she used to have a crush on me back then. Note that I'm 26 now.

Anyhow, we were talking about all the accidents I've had in life and Pastor Duane mentioned that I better not choke on anything or they'd have to give me mouth to mouth. Without thinking I say that if anyone's giving me mouth to mouth it'd be Candice because she's hot. Heh, I forgot that Pastor Duane is a jealous man. He goes quiet and Candice gives a nervous chuckle. It's quiet for a moment... then quiet little Tiffany, Candice's baby sister, goes off on a rant of all the things she'd do to me if I still had my curls (I've shaved my head lately), despite the fact that I'm twice her age.

All in all it was an awkward moment for me. If only I had my wife there to bail me out.

 

[Abaddon]

you guys bring it on yourselves.

 

[Figs]

you guys bring it on yourselves.

Usually most awkward moments are because of that anyways. This isn't the thread for "Awkward moments that you didn't bring on yourself".

 

[Abaddon]

you should make one.

 

[Figs]

you should make one.

LOL, or we could just have any and all awkward moments regardless of how they came about in this thread to not waste more space on the boards.

 

[Mee]

Wilhelm's story has yet to be topped.

 

[Figs]

Wilhelm's story has yet to be topped.

I don't know, that's just with his father. I had my wang hanging out in front of a good 20-30 students who were all looking my way cause I had the ball they wanted lol.

 

[SuperFerret]

You ever stumble onto a touchy subject around people who don't know you know how said subject affected them, and you don't want them to know that you know, so instead of being able to say "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot." you have to keep on talking about it, so you don't draw any suspicion to yourself?

I have. Topic: Abortion.

 

[bullets]

I was outside a convienence store around 10 at night drunk with my friends and a couple guys showed up (from a party)then started a fight with us . The brawl was crazy , one random guy pulled up in a truck , got out and started beating people , then hopped back in his truck and left . i picked up a bat (out of my car)but was too beligerant to swing it right so i wound up just throwing it in one dudes face .
When the cops showed up most everybody got away except my brother and i , my brother was so drunk he started swinging at cops , i tried to keep the cops off him , he was arrested . Then they asked to search my vehicle .
They wanted to see what was in the trunk .
In the previous week my buddies and i decided to rid the town of the color yellow as a prank , so basically we ran around ripping down ribbons , all sorts of weird stuff . I had filled my trunk with most of the stuff we stole. I was 17 and wasnt really thinking.
So anyway they ask to open the trunk and of course my trunk is full of yellow sign and other crap . the officer just looked at me strange and then closed the trunk .

 

[knowsbleed]

I acidently told a stranger I loved them, I meant to say "Lovely, Thanks." but my brain malfunctioned and said "Love you, thanks". I walked away quickly and pretended nothing had happened.

This was just earlier this week, not going back to the botanic glasshouses soon

Ha...coke in the nose...not good.

"Yes, I think I SHOULD be watching a man thrusting a chainsaw repeatedly in and out between a girl's legs and touching her genital area with it. It's important that I watch that."

monotone voice and blank stare? his reaction to that statement? i assume he hugged you and said, "Finally".

 

[The Evolutionist]

My friend's girlfriend told him she was pregnant....right when I was talking to him. Turns out it was a false alarm, but it was still pretty awkward.

Yeah, the same thing happened to me, except it was my best friend's girlfriend, there were 20 people there, including some strangers and his parent's, and it wasn't a false alarm (My friend and I were 17, and his girlfriend was 16). I don't think anyone said a word for another 20 minutes.

 

[Abaddon]

ha, I thought of something incredibly awkward, but it's best not to discuss.

 

[knowsbleed]

ha, I thought of something incredibly awkward, but it's best not to discuss.

You are so secretive its disgusting.

I'm going to go find my crotch story.

 

[Abaddon]

no, I want to laugh at you in private!

 

[knowsbleed]

no, I want to laugh at you in private!

Too late...

Senior year high school, I was picking up my gf after class. She was this hyper tiny girl that gives me a headache just thinking about the level of energy she used to have. So of course the first thing a tiny, hyper girl does is run up to me, jumps on me, gives me a hug n a kiss and reaches into my pants in front of the whole school.

So no big deal...she did this all the time...but this day she reached in a little too quickly with her french tips (paid for by me) she sliced me open pretty good. A few onlookers and me stifling a scream must have been a funny sight...because she starts giggling and asks what is wrong? WHAT IS WRONG??

I drop her off at home...I'm a nice guy so I stopped the car to let her out...went home and started to nurse myself. It wasn't really too bad but a band-aid didn't really do the deed. So I spend the night pretty much wondering why I should stay with the pecker slasher and holding gauze on my jim jam.

Sooo...next day, first period = Gym. I know I'm going to Gym first thing in the morning (i think it was a Friday) so I'm wearing my boxer briefs before and during gym then switching to regular boxers after my shower.

We're in the locker room changing for gym, I pull down my pants and the front of my boxer briefs is a growing red stain. I must have, in the short walk from my car to the gym, opened my wound and started bleeding without me knowing.

A couple of guys freak out and call the coach...one guy looks like he's going to pass out...and another runs to the toilet to relinquish his breakfast I guess. Coach runs to me holding the first aid kit and looking like he doesn't really want to touch me...but he will if he has to. I tell him he really doesn't have to...grab the first aid kit from him and run to a bathroom stall to further nurse myself. Needless to say...he excused me from gym that morning.

 

[Abaddon]

*******!!!!!!

 

[knowsbleed]

beat that.

 

[Abaddon]

that's much more humiliating than awkward, crotchbleed.

 

[The Evolutionist]

Too late...

Holy **** dude...that sucks...

 

[knowsbleed]

ok...so I'm an overachiever.

your turn.

 

[knowsbleed]

Holy **** dude...that sucks...

Yes...it did. But I'm all growed up now and still functioning...and not as mentally scarred as I thought I would be.

 

[Abaddon]

it's a very good story.

 

[Kritish]

I was watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 alone in my room. It's a pretty normal gory movie, but there's one sick, perverted part where Leatherface is supposed to kill this chick who's sitting on a giant bin full of ice, but he's arroused by her, which confuses him, so he fires up the chainsaw, and starts thrusting it sexually into the ice between the girl's legs, and then turns off the chainsaw and traces up her thigh and to her horrible, shameful girl parts with it.

So, that's the ONE part where my Dad walks in, and in the years we lived in that house, I don't think I ever once saw him climb all the stairs and enter my room up there, except that one moment.

So, he looks at the TV, silently, and we're both sitting there, silently, watching every pelvic chainsaw thrust, and, that feeling was the definition of "awkward".



And then he, a "Born Again Christian", said, "Do you think you should be watching this?"
Which was also awkward, because of the way it's phrased.
I didn't think I SHOULDN'T be watching it, but he asked it "either/or", so who among us can look his Dad in the eye and say,

"Yes, I think I SHOULD be watching a man thrusting a chainsaw repeatedly in and out between a girl's legs and touching her genital area with it. It's important that I watch that."

I remember that scene.