The "Friend Zone"

[Chris Wallace]

Let's talk the friend zone. You know what I mean. There's two ways in which unfortunate lovesick people get banished to this dreadful place. You're really into somebody-I mean DEEPLY into them. To the point where those love songs on the radio don't annoy you so much? To the point where you just can't stop thinking about them? Then they hit you with, "I just want to be friends." It's infuriating. The second way is even worse, IMO. You're actually in a relationship with the person. It has its ups & downs, but you figure that'll pass. Or worse, you think everything's going swimmingly & then out of nowhere, this person dumps you. And it's bad enough you're looking down at the shattered fragments of your heart on the floor, when they suddenly pour lemon juice & hot sauce into the open wound by saying, "We can still be friends." Either way, it sucks. The first one's just bad b/c you feel stupid. You probably thought you were making progress, & they turn out to either be oblivious to your feelings. The second one is just like a dagger in the heart. Actually, it feels a lot like this to me.

You know what I mean? You can see out but you can't break out.
Now I've known people who have successfully managed to do this. Not me. Most of my breakups have been ugly, anyway, truth be told. Why the hell would I want to hang out with you after you've dumped me? That's like dangling a cheeseburger in front of one of those starving kids in a 3rd world country. "Ooh-look at what you can't have!" WTF?
So in this thread, I'd like to talk about the friend zone in general-maybe some experiences you've had being banished to this dark, dreadful dimension, some times you've had to put someone there, and/or just your thoughts on the subject in general.

 

[cryptic name]

I've been banished to and broken out of the friend zone twice. It's never ended well.

 

[Immortalfire]

I happened to me once, but it wasn't that big a deal.

 

[SuBe]

Hooter's Girl?

It happens bud.

 

[Vapor]

I once managed to get with a girl I had been in the friend zone with for 4 years but I ended it after a few weeks.. I think it was one of them, wanting what you can't have things..

Currently in the friend zone with my ex, which I don't mind much cos I'm over the fact that she broke up with me for her dick ex lol but we are still close so this one isn't too bad.

And I'm also in the friend zone with another girl who I had fancied for a couple years but never talked to until recently when I became single and I got her number. So we went for drinks and it went really well and she was up for kissing me and we were holding hands n stuff, so I thought good sign and everything.. But then she started ignoring my texts and when I finally got a response from her she said she was sorry but wasn't ready 'for all that'.. So I'm in the friend zone there which sucks big time..

But sometimes it can be not too bad, provided you only like the girl a bit and it's not tearing you up inside lol But yeah, on the whole, the friend zone isn't a very nice place to be...

 

[Immortalfire]

Hooter's Girl?

It happens bud.

It is my dream to get a high five at Hooters.

 

[SuBe]

It is my dream to get a high five at Hooters.

 

[Immortalfire]

The fairtax will make it happen.

 

[SuBe]

The fairtax will make it happen.

If we had a FairTax, (Capital F, Capital T) more people would have money since everyone would be receiving 100% of their Paycheck. The Female Workers at the Hooters would be even busier trying to keep and maintain business as they also would be getting larger tips from the 100% Paycheck carrying Consumers. Now that they receive larger paychecks, and can afford a better standard of living, they are in general more happy.

And, as we all know, when the Hooters are happy, they high-five.

 

[The Guard]

If you've actually dated, been an item, you're not in the "friend zone". You're an ex they still want to be friends with. It's not quite the same thing.

 

[Lobo]

^Precisely

I've been banished many a time

 

[BlackLantern]

I populated the Friend Zone for a long, long time....I then told myself "Man up you ****er" and set out upon the wastes with nothing but a long road in front of me....where I end up, I do not know....

 

[amazingfantasy15]

You forgot the third "Friend Zone" scenario, a girl you have been friends with, but develop feelings for over time. One of the trickiest "Friend Zones" how to move from friend to boyfriend without killing the friendship.

 

[Majic Walrus]

Most of my breakups have ended in horrible horrible hatred and rage. Often times with vicious sex.

 

[The Guard]

One of the trickiest "Friend Zones" how to move from friend to boyfriend without killing the friendship.

It helps if she jumps you.

 

[DV8]

what is this 'friend zone' you all speak of?? I've never hear of nor experienced anything remotely resembling this . . . .

 

[Nirvana]

I think the worst is when you've already been friends with the person for awhile, then you suddenly find yourself attracted to them. I was in that situation for awhile, then when you make it known they want to continue as just friends. It makes it incredibly awkward.

Then again, I've been "Only Friends" with a few people and then ended in bed with them.

 

[Abstract]

I've been in the friend zone many a time. Finally decided to just give up and walk away though, it was too much drama and in the end it just wasn't worth it. Hearing the whole "not wanting to ruin the friendship" talk after they've led you to believe there was a chance just kinda kills the friendship I think.

 

[I'm Old Greg]

I f cked all my friends....i have no idea what that zone is...i guess no girl is my "friend".

Or maybe no girl is anyones friend.

 

[Mr.Webs]

I have a beach house in the friend zone.

 

[Chris Wallace]

If you've actually dated, been an item, you're not in the "friend zone". You're an ex they still want to be friends with. It's not quite the same thing.

No. It's worse. Now you miss it & can't have it. I have been there & it sucks. The only reason I agreed to it was in the hopes that I could find my way back. But there's no escape from the friend zone. (Not in my experience, anyway.) Except to break all contact altogether. Otherwise, once banished you stay banished. Or worse, you become the friend with "benefits". So you're getting pulled back & forth, getting your hopes up one minute & having them dashed the next. They figure they can get you to scratch their itch & then send you packing. I know some people think that's a guy's dream, but not if you have genuine feelings for her. Then it's torture.

 

[thedeadite]

Me and a girl where in each other's respective "friend zone" for a few years.
We both were attracted to and wanted to hook up with the other, but when one of us was single, the other usually wasn't.
When we finally did end up getting together it didn't end up working out. I think we spent so much time in the "friend zone" we couldn't grasp the idea that we didn't have to be in it anymore.
Atleast that was the dilemma in my head.
Knowing now that you can act on your feelings, but so used to suppressing them.

 

[Troy_Parker]

You forgot the third "Friend Zone" scenario, a girl you have been friends with, but develop feelings for over time. One of the trickiest "Friend Zones" how to move from friend to boyfriend without killing the friendship.

Amen.

 

[Chris Wallace]

You forgot the third "Friend Zone" scenario, a girl you have been friends with, but develop feelings for over time. One of the trickiest "Friend Zones" how to move from friend to boyfriend without killing the friendship.

I consider that a twist on the first scenario; trying to escape. I've had that blow up in my face, too.
The only times I have ever genuinely tried to maintain a friendship after the breakup is when there was a child involved. If I have to look at you for the next 18 years anyway, we should be on cordial terms. Unfortunately, awkward civility is the most I've ever achieved there.

 

[Chris Wallace]

I have a beach house in the friend zone.

I think I saw your place. I forwarded my mail to the FZ for awhile.