Darthphere Presents: The Friend Zone is....

[SpideyVille]

The Friend Zone isn't forever though. Once you get 'friend zoned' it doesn't mean you're permanently stuck there.

It's not impossible, but it's a little improbable. Chances are you'll either stop being friends because she started dating someone and is committed to them, or because you let her know your feelings and things get awkward. Very rarely does one successful pull off the escape from the Friend Zone.

 

[Polaris23]

It's not impossible, but it's a little improbable. Chances are you'll either stop being friends because she started dating someone and is committed to them, or because you let her know your feelings and things get awkward. Very rarely does one successful pull off the escape from the Friend Zone.

It really depends on the person.

 

[SpideyVille]

It really depends on the person.

True, I mean I've seen some rare cases where being persistent and sticking around has paid off in the end. But more often than not, you just end up delaying eventually heartbreak and disappointment by sticking around and hoping for her to have feelings for you.

 

[Polaris23]

True, I mean I've seen some rare cases where being persistent and sticking around has paid off in the end. But more often than not, you just end up delaying eventually heartbreak and disappointment by sticking around and hoping for her to have feelings for you.

That is often the case, yes. Fortunately, I got my ex girlfriend by being friend zoned, then stopping showing interest in her and eventually told me she liked me and we became a couple. Unfortunately, I am going through some trouble with this new girl who I have strong feelings for but am afraid to tell her because I don't want to be rejected again.

 

[SpideyVille]

That is often the case, yes. Fortunately, I got my ex girlfriend by being friend zoned, then stopping showing interest in her and eventually told me she liked me and we became a couple. Unfortunately, I am going through some trouble with this new girl who I have strong feelings for but am afraid to tell her because I don't want to be rejected again.

This is the part that most guys who are friend zoned never get to. Usually you get stuck with some false hope of eventually getting her once she finally realizes what a great guy you are, but that rarely happens. But once you stop showing interest and even move on, that's when things have a better chance of working out.

But as someone who always waited too long to let a girl know how I felt, I say you should let her know. She may say she likes you too, she may give you the friend speech, but whatever happens, its better to just be open and honest right away because the longer you invest on these feelings, the more it will hurt if you wait too long and don't have those feelings reciprocated. At least if she says no now, you'll be able to move on sooner. And if she says she likes you too, you'll get with her sooner too.

 

[Polaris23]

This is the part that most guys who are friend zoned never get to. Usually you get stuck with some false hope of eventually getting her once she finally realizes what a great guy you are, but that rarely happens. But once you stop showing interest and even move on, that's when things have a better chance of working out.

But as someone who always waited too long to let a girl know how I felt, I say you should let her know. She may say she likes you too, she may give you the friend speech, but whatever happens, its better to just be open and honest right away because the longer you invest on these feelings, the more it will hurt if you wait too long and don't have those feelings reciprocated. At least if she says no now, you'll be able to move on sooner. And if she says she likes you too, you'll get with her sooner too.

Agreed, I'm trying to do it but I'm looking for that right moment, to not be TOO awkward. Anyway, I think my feelings are probably too invested already so it's going to hurt pretty bad already if she just wants to be friends. I was going to tell her sooner, but I thought it was too soon as we had just started talking, but now it's too late for me emotionally. But whatever, it has to be done.

 

[SpideyVille]

Agreed, I'm trying to do it but I'm looking for that right moment, to not be TOO awkward. Anyway, I think my feelings are probably too invested already so it's going to hurt pretty bad already if she just wants to be friends. I was going to tell her sooner, but I thought it was too soon as we had just started talking, but now it's too late for me emotionally. But whatever, it has to be done.

Well be honest with yourself. Do you truly think that she might have feelings for you, or that its even a possibility? If so, then go for it right away before someone else does.

I mentioned the girl I liked when I started college. I told her I liked her twice shortly after we first started talking. The first time, she still kept talking to me, but she said she had just gotten out of a relationship so she wasn't ready. The second time, she told me she still had "false hope" that her ex-fiance would return to her, since she was heavily involved in a church at the time and he had left because of drug-related issues. Ironically, her other ex-boyfriend showed up at the church the same day I decided to go with her, and we pretty much stopped talking after that.

A year later, I started having feelings for her, but I knew that even thought we were better friends now than before, I knew she didn't have feelings for me, so I did the stupid thing and decided to wait in hopes of her changing her mind. Turns out, when she found out I liked her, we stopped talking and she hooked up with some guy right after that. But I realized that even though I was scared of getting hurt since I knew it was a definite no, I still should've been honest from the start, that way I could've moved on sooner.

 

[Polaris23]

Well be honest with yourself. Do you truly think that she might have feelings for you, or that its even a possibility? If so, then go for it right away before someone else does.

I mentioned the girl I liked when I started college. I told her I liked her twice shortly after we first started talking. The first time, she still kept talking to me, but she said she had just gotten out of a relationship so she wasn't ready. The second time, she told me she still had "false hope" that her ex-fiance would return to her, since she was heavily involved in a church at the time and he had left because of drug-related issues. Ironically, her other ex-boyfriend showed up at the church the same day I decided to go with her, and we pretty much stopped talking after that.

A year later, I started having feelings for her, but I knew that even thought we were better friends now than before, I knew she didn't have feelings for me, so I did the stupid thing and decided to wait in hopes of her changing her mind. Turns out, when she found out I liked her, we stopped talking and she hooked up with some guy right after that. But I realized that even though I was scared of getting hurt since I knew it was a definite no, I still should've been honest from the start, that way I could've moved on sooner.

Good lesson indeed. That sucks that happened though. I honestly believe I might or might not have a chance. I don't think one is likelier than the other right now, I just can't tell since we hang out a lot but she also doesn't seem too flirty much, but she's also very reserved, quiet and weird. So who knows. Guess I'll find out soon enough, I'm pretty scared.

 

[SpideyVille]

Good lesson indeed. That sucks that happened though. I honestly believe I might or might not have a chance. I don't think one is likelier than the other right now, I just can't tell since we hang out a lot but she also doesn't seem too flirty much, but she's also very reserved, quiet and weird. So who knows. Guess I'll find out soon enough, I'm pretty scared.

Yeah, I was more upset the second time because I actually did look at her as a really great friend, but she just didn't see me the same way and it was much easier for her to cut me out of her life on more than one occasion.

But yeah, like Erz told me recently, no risk no reward. So just let her know how you feel. Of course it won't be easy and you'll get really nervous, but as long as you are open and sincere, she'll see that you at least have more guts than other guys.

 

[Polaris23]

Definitely feeling you on that. The thing I hate it's that it's like a fork on a freeway, once I tell her how I feel, I'm either going to be extremely happy or the opposite of that depending on her answer, and if it's a no, there goes the friendship.

 

[SentinelMind]

Definitely feeling you on that. The thing I hate it's that it's like a fork on a freeway, once I tell her how I feel, I'm either going to be extremely happy or the opposite of that depending on her answer, and if it's a no, there goes the friendship.

Women will only date men they respect...

Ask her out (But don't make a big deal about it....don't go giving some speech about how you've always loved her ).

If she says no (including some response that she has to go wash her hair)....then accept that its not going to happen...turn away and move on to building up yourself and pursuing the next woman. There's million fish in the sea...and no woman is worth all that effort pining over.

Don't become her enemy if she rejects you...wish her well or whatever...but don't give her lot of attention,...gradually hang out with her less and move on to pursuing the next woman. Be courteous and respectful, but don't let her "use" you or manipulate you in this "friendship." Keep your distance.

This will be tough..but after you work up courage to do this, you'll be glad for this advice.

Peace.

 

[SpideyVille]

I agree with Sentinel on all accounts. Ask her out and make sure she knows its a date and not to go hang out. She could say no and you'll still be friends, but don't fall into that trap of being one of those friends that she only goes to when she wants something, and if that turns out to be the case, you'll be doing yourself a favor in the long run by cutting her out of your life. Just make sure you do it in a non-confrontational way.

Just remember, it really might be a fork in the road, but like all decisions in life, you have to be honest with yourself and with what you want. It always sucks when you get rejected, but on the flip side, think of how great you'll feel if you do end up with her. Some risks are just worth taking.

 

[Polaris23]

Definitely agreed, yeah. It'll just suck to lose her as a friend if she says no, because I don't want to stick around as a friend-only guy. But we always had a great time so it'd be a shame to lose her, but yeah, I'd have to move on if I want something more with her and it can't happen. But here's hoping she reciprocates! Now THAT would be such a joy!!!

 

[Corinthian™]

I've gotten out of the friend zone

I remember back in high school I was friends with this girl I liked. She actually had a crush on my best friend then. But just because I don't know what, we ended up dating.

To tell you the truth it took some time for her to accept me as boyfriend material. Jumped hoops and all. We ended up dating.

Where is she now? That ***** doesn't talk to me now.

EDIT:
Now that I think about it. After her, I've never been friend zone'd again. Girls I like I always have them on a special place lingering about where I'm not their friends, but if I ever wanna date them, I can easily woo them.

 

[Polaris23]

How do you easily woo them? Eh. I mean it's not impossible to get out of the friend zone, like I said, it really depends. Everyone here makes it sound like it's a permanent trap.

It just takes a while to get out of it, if you ever do.

 

[Corinthian™]

How do you easily woo them? Eh. I mean it's not impossible to get out of the friend zone, like I said, it really depends. Everyone here makes it sound like it's a permanent trap.

It just takes a while to get out of it, if you ever do.

I think the point I was making is, if you like and think you may have a possibility with a girl AND don't plan to look into some sort of relationship with her at the moment, don't become super friends with her. Keep her around, talk to her once in a while.

If you don't have anything stopping you, you don't make friends with this girl. You treat her normally but flirt with her from the get go.

 

[OctaviusINC]

Funny how this thread popped up.

Over the years I've realized I'm terrible at relationships. From my senior year of high school to my 2nd year of college I had 3 amazingly beautiful girls that were my friends with benefits. We liked being in each other. Not so much being in each others lives. I had this with each gal for about a year, then they'd end up going to college or moving back home, getting a boyfriend, and we'd lose touch. Which is only to be expected in that certain situation.

I always longed for a real true relationship though. I respect women. And I realize I don't really respect myself a whole lot. The whole "friends with benefits" thing isn't really all that cool. It's kinda hollow. Which I believe made me a bit numb to the nature of "love".

There was a girl earlier this year that I really liked. We talked and flirted a lot so I asked her out. She was incredibly nervous on the date. I tried asking her out on 2 different occasions after that and she made excuses. I figured I tried and moved on with my life. A month or 2 passed and she started acting flirty again and texts me non stop. This is when I knew I have entered "The Friend Zone". But most guys don't believe it or ignore it. She's a textbook friendzoner. I've actually found the situation quite comedic recently. I mean, how else is a guy supposed to deal with it?

I've been distancing myself from her. I've been acting cold to her. Sucks? Yeah it does. Especially when she tells you she'd "be a complete wreck without you". You have to think to yourself, "Right, until you get a boyfriend, which will obviously never be me." Like someone mentioned earlier, you're just preventing certain heartbreak. And there are other women out there.

The Friend Zone sucks, but we all go through it sometimes.

EDIT: And if you want to be a real *******, show (romantic) interest in another girl. You update your facebook telling everyone you're going on a date, watch how your bestie friend zoner blows up your phone the whole night with texts and calls. I wouldn't bug MY best friend if he/she were on a date. So what are they really? And don't take your friend zoner to a party either. kock block.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

It sucks being friend-zoned, for sure.

I was friendzoned by a lesbian before.

How the **** does that even happen?

 

[DBryan]

One thing that sucks about the friend zone is being used as a replacement boyfriend with none of the benefits whenever she's single.

She wants to call you up all the time and tell you her problems, she wants waaaaaaaay more of your time than she did before, she wants a shoulder to cry on and someone to make her feel good about herself, but she's unintentionally making you feel wretched - it makes you feel like half a man, it makes you feel undesirable, to be used emotionally in this manner.

 

[Darthphere]

That's the worse. When they call you to talk about some endless drama she's involved in. ***** I got **** to do today.

 

[Motown Marvel]

most my friends are female. i've made out with pretty much all of them. sometimes people just wanna hook up and not have it be weird afterwards. they know im not gonna be weird.

but, no one is STUCK in the friend zone. if yer just being friendly with the chick because yer hoping to get on her, and you know she aint into it, then you're lying to her. thats not being a good friend. and if you dont like being in the friend zone, then stop hanging out with them. tell them that you want to be more than friends, but you know thats not gonna happen, so you shouldnt hang out.

 

[Darthphere]

most my friends are female. i've made out with pretty much all of them. sometimes people just wanna hook up and not have it be weird afterwards. they know im not gonna be weird.

Funny, my best friends are girls but we grew up together, I've known them forever. I see them as sisters almost. It's funny because I've never had a romantic thought about them even though I'll admit they're pretty hot. But again, it would be like kissing my sister and I'm not from Kentucky.

 

[Erzengel]

I would of hit almost all of my female friends at one time. If I was single and the opportunity was there, I would have snatched it.

 

[Darthphere]

Why would you hit them? Did they make you angry?

 

[Erzengel]

Furious.