Darthphere Presents: The Friend Zone is....

[SpideyVille]

How do you easily woo them? Eh. I mean it's not impossible to get out of the friend zone, like I said, it really depends. Everyone here makes it sound like it's a permanent trap.

It just takes a while to get out of it, if you ever do.

I think the point I was making is, if you like and think you may have a possibility with a girl AND don't plan to look into some sort of relationship with her at the moment, don't become super friends with her. Keep her around, talk to her once in a while.

If you don't have anything stopping you, you don't make friends with this girl. You treat her normally but flirt with her from the get go.

but, no one is STUCK in the friend zone. if yer just being friendly with the chick because yer hoping to get on her, and you know she aint into it, then you're lying to her. thats not being a good friend. and if you dont like being in the friend zone, then stop hanging out with them. tell them that you want to be more than friends, but you know thats not gonna happen, so you shouldnt hang out.

The thing here is that there are two different ways to end up in the friend zone. One way is if you become friends with a girl naturally and get along great, until one day you realize you have feelings for her. Suddenly, all that time you invested with her, opening up about yourself and showing your weakness because you only looked at her like a friend proves to be dangerous because you now have to put that friendship on the line if you choose to risk getting more.

The other way is if you see a girl you like, and decide to try to be friends first and you fall into the belief that if you make yourself super available and always there for her, then she will reciprocate. Of course, that never works. However, this form of the friend zone can be averted if you make your intentions known from the start. And this is sort of the line of separation in the whole "nice guys finish last" debate.

If you cut your ties with her early on, or at least not try to help her every chance you get, before letting her know how you feel, then you can avoid ending up in the friend zone.

Then of course, there's always the "we're just friends" excuse you get even when you're not friends with someone, which is a polite, yet silly excuse for why they won't date you.

This is why it is easier to prevent ending up in the zone than it is to get out. How you start off can determine where you end up, but once you're there, it's pretty much an uphill battle.

One thing that sucks about the friend zone is being used as a replacement boyfriend with none of the benefits whenever she's single.

This is pretty much the trap of the Friend Zone. You go to the girl and she treats like a boyfriend, except you don't get the really good stuff, like the physical. You get her emotionally and everything, and you stick around waiting for the physical to come later, but it doesn't, unless its with some other guy.

 

[bullets]

I've been friend zoned by my ex girlfriend but I don't mind it. She has a lot of trust issues from her divorce and after going out a few months we just didn't have strong feelings for each other. The attraction was there but that was about it. So we agreed to be friends , wound up hooking up a few times , then went back to being friends. Now she uses me as that emotional tampon where once a month she calls to complain about her problems.


Another time I had a crush on this girl Julie in high school. I asked her out initially but it turned into a hang out and her friends would always be there. She said she really wanted to get to know me first. So we'd talked for hours on the phone , hang out and go to rock shows together. One thing that might of held me back was she like to smoke pot and I didn't.

So she randomly started dating some skinhead punk. I was now friends with some of her group and didn't want to hang out because he was around. I liked her to much too much to distance myself though. I was pathetically hanging around and being way to nice , hoping she'd come to her senses and love me but it never happened. Eventually I gave up. I learned to just let it go from that.

 

[bullets]

I just noticed the strictly platonic section on craigslist. In case any of you want a fast track to the friend zone.

 

[Immortalfire]

"It's not that I don't like you," = "I don't like you."

"I don't want a boyfriend." = "I don't want you as a boyfriend."

 

[OctaviusINC]

Friends, meet your new meme. But don't get too attached. She just wants to be friends.

http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/friend+zone+fiona

 

[Darthphere]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA genius.

 

[Polaris23]

most my friends are female. i've made out with pretty much all of them. sometimes people just wanna hook up and not have it be weird afterwards. they know im not gonna be weird.

but, no one is STUCK in the friend zone. if yer just being friendly with the chick because yer hoping to get on her, and you know she aint into it, then you're lying to her. thats not being a good friend. and if you dont like being in the friend zone, then stop hanging out with them. tell them that you want to be more than friends, but you know thats not gonna happen, so you shouldnt hang out.

Agreed with this, well said.

 

[steintym]

Nice! Love the meme!

 

[Immortalfire]

In keeping with this thread, and Darth's other about home improvement and such...

 

[Darthphere]

Best one really.

 

[Hound55]

I've noticed that a lot of the time logic and reason are lost on the fairer sex... Whilst simultaneously each generation of men are losing more and more testicular fortitude...

If you don't want to get friend zoned, don't let it happen... Plead your case. The first time she says "Why can't more guys be like you?" and you're into her, point out that you're a guy like you and that you're interested in more... rather than coming on here afterwards and b****ing that she just doesn't seem to notice you and 2 months later she has this new dick of a boyfriend.

Sack up.

 

[Darthphere]

Nut up or shut up.

 

[Hound55]

Pretty much.

 

[OctaviusINC]

But for a lot of people...easier said than done.

 

[Corinthian™]

Nut up or shut up.

 

[Polaris23]

i've noticed that a lot of the time logic and reason are lost on the fairer sex... Whilst simultaneously each generation of men are losing more and more testicular fortitude...

If you don't want to get friend zoned, don't let it happen... Plead your case. The first time she says "why can't more guys be like you?" and you're into her, point out that you're a guy like you and that you're interested in more... Rather than coming on here afterwards and b****ing that she just doesn't seem to notice you and 2 months later she has this new dick of a boyfriend.

Sack up.

yes.

 

[obin_gam]

It would be interesting to hear a womans perspective on this whole issue.

 

[HisMagicTrick]

I've noticed that a lot of the time logic and reason are lost on the fairer sex... Whilst simultaneously each generation of men are losing more and more testicular fortitude...

If you don't want to get friend zoned, don't let it happen... Plead your case. The first time she says "Why can't more guys be like you?" and you're into her, point out that you're a guy like you and that you're interested in more... rather than coming on here afterwards and b****ing that she just doesn't seem to notice you and 2 months later she has this new dick of a boyfriend.

Sack up.

It had to be said.

 

[Godzilla2000]

Oh I have put many a man in the friend zone for sure because I just couldn't feel a connection at all with them. Still being in the Friend Zone is better than when I just lock the memory of a guy away in the paper shredder of my mind never to be accessed again. I have forgotten more less than stellar men in my lifetime that I just don't recollect. I like to start from a blank slate devoid of baggage after ending a love affair if you get what I mean.

Anyways I'd like to let you men in on a little known thing that some of us women who are a bit more cautious like to do. When I'm interested in a guy I like to observe and see how they tick. On the outset it may seem like I just consider him a friend, but what I'm really doing is compiling data on the guy's character and if I should continue having romantic feelings for him. But more importantly to me is how this man would treat me if we were in a more committed relationship. I have an internalized list of questions I go through in my mind of a man's worth and just whether or not I could live with him on a more regular basis. I take my time and evaluate a man by the activities he likes to participate in or whether or not anything I am fond of as recreation, especially playing the Monster Hunter games, is something he could acquire a taste for if he's not into it already. At my age I've been thinking that when it comes to my heart I just don't want to throw caution to the wind and pursue relationships that will go nowhere. So this is why I will friend zone a man I might like for awhile. But if I really like you, you will always see how much I do by looking straight into my eyes. If you can keep my attention for more than a few minutes in a conversation without me whipping out my PSP to slay a few monsters I'm thinking that you are definitely permanent mate material.

 

[Polaris23]

Oh I have put many a man in the friend zone for sure because I just couldn't feel a connection at all with them. Still being in the Friend Zone is better than when I just lock the memory of a guy away in the paper shredder of my mind never to be accessed again. I have forgotten more less than stellar men in my lifetime that I just don't recollect. I like to start from a blank slate devoid of baggage after ending a love affair if you get what I mean.

Anyways I'd like to let you men in on a little known thing that some of us women who are a bit more cautious like to do. When I'm interested in a guy I like to observe and see how they tick. On the outset it may seem like I just consider him a friend, but what I'm really doing is compiling data on the guy's character and if I should continue having romantic feelings for him. But more importantly to me is how this man would treat me if we were in a more committed relationship. I have an internalized list of questions I go through in my mind of a man's worth and just whether or not I could live with him on a more regular basis. I take my time and evaluate a man by the activities he likes to participate in or whether or not anything I am fond of as recreation, especially playing the Monster Hunter games, is something he could acquire a taste for if he's not into it already. At my age I've been thinking that when it comes to my heart I just don't want to throw caution to the wind and pursue relationships that will go nowhere. So this is why I will friend zone a man I might like for awhile. But if I really like you, you will always see how much I do by looking straight into my eyes. If you can keep my attention for more than a few minutes in a conversation without me whipping out my PSP to slay a few monsters I'm thinking that you are definitely permanent mate material.

So you're saying friend-zoning a guy isn't permanent right?

 

[SentinelMind]

Oh I have put many a man in the friend zone for sure because I just couldn't feel a connection at all with them. Still being in the Friend Zone is better than when I just lock the memory of a guy away in the paper shredder of my mind never to be accessed again. I have forgotten more less than stellar men in my lifetime that I just don't recollect. I like to start from a blank slate devoid of baggage after ending a love affair if you get what I mean.

Anyways I'd like to let you men in on a little known thing that some of us women who are a bit more cautious like to do. When I'm interested in a guy I like to observe and see how they tick. On the outset it may seem like I just consider him a friend, but what I'm really doing is compiling data on the guy's character and if I should continue having romantic feelings for him. But more importantly to me is how this man would treat me if we were in a more committed relationship. I have an internalized list of questions I go through in my mind of a man's worth and just whether or not I could live with him on a more regular basis. I take my time and evaluate a man by the activities he likes to participate in or whether or not anything I am fond of as recreation, especially playing the Monster Hunter games, is something he could acquire a taste for if he's not into it already. At my age I've been thinking that when it comes to my heart I just don't want to throw caution to the wind and pursue relationships that will go nowhere. So this is why I will friend zone a man I might like for awhile. But if I really like you, you will always see how much I do by looking straight into my eyes. If you can keep my attention for more than a few minutes in a conversation without me whipping out my PSP to slay a few monsters I'm thinking that you are definitely permanent mate material.

Cautious women may do this, but not all put this much thought into. I appreciate your comment....

When it comes down to it, its the man who has to take initiative in setting up a potential date. A guy should ask out a woman he's interested in approximately 2 weeks after introduction or at most 2 meetings after an introduction. You can spend first conversation or two getting to know each other...but after that its the man's responsibility to ask the woman out. If the man is control and confident, he will give the woman a limited time to make a decision on whether she wants to date or not. If she says no, he should be courteous, respectful, but kindly move on with his life. Waiting for an indecisive woman to figure out whether or not she wants to possibly considering dating you is a sign of weakness that the woman will pick up on and eventually manipulate. No guy who has self-respect should wait for a woman to make up her mind if she wants to let a guy leave friendzone...that's ridiculous.