The Mental health thread

[DarkKnight88]

I'll agree with you on that. I often think that I miss the memories and the girl she used to be,not the person. Not anymore. And I remind myself of that often. But I can't understand why it's not getting into my head. One of my major shortcomings is that I often like to live in the past. I haven't been truly happy for a long time and I often retreat back to times that I felt happy. Not a healthy way to live,I know. trust me,my friend,I've heard it all from everyone and I know exactly what's wrong and why I can't let her go. But convincing my mind to move on seems like climbing Mt. Everest at this point.

Yeah, I can understand that. You know why, you know what you should do, but your brain likes to punish you every so often. I would say time heals, it did for me, but I know you're still on that journey even 15 years later.

I still believe that time does heal, but only after you've eliminated what you can from them in your life. Mostly physical, as I know your mind has a life of its own. Anytime you see/hear them, the clock goes back to 0. That means pictures, letters, ticket stubs, anything from them. That also means no looking at their social media. It hurts to say goodbye to that feeling, but eventually you'll forget the details of it. And you may not want to, as you said, you like retreating to the past because you can be happy in those memories for a bit. But even then it's an exercise to imagine a giant hand pushing those memories/thoughts away when they creep up. Because it's a gaping wound that still needs to heal. Climbing Mt. Everest it may be. But one step/round at a time. You go a few hours without thinking about her. Then maybe a whole day. Then maybe a whole week etc.

 

[Venom75]

Yeah, I can understand that. You know why, you know what you should do, but your brain likes to punish you every so often. I would say time heals, it did for me, but I know you're still on that journey even 15 years later.

I still believe that time does heal, but only after you've eliminated what you can from them in your life. Mostly physical, as I know your mind has a life of its own. Anytime you see/hear them, the clock goes back to 0. That means pictures, letters, ticket stubs, anything from them. That also means no looking at their social media. It hurts to say goodbye to that feeling, but eventually you'll forget the details of it. And you may not want to, as you said, you like retreating to the past because you can be happy in those memories for a bit. But even then it's an exercise to imagine a giant hand pushing those memories/thoughts away when they creep up. Because it's a gaping wound that still needs to heal. Climbing Mt. Everest it may be. But one step/round at a time. You go a few hours without thinking about her. Then maybe a whole day. Then maybe a whole week etc.

Thanks so much for that advice. I used to have everything she ever gave me. However,over the years I have actually thrown away a few things. I still do have a few letters that I've really been debating getting rid of,but I still don't feel ready yet.

 

[Mandon Knight]

Oh,boy. It's such a long story. I'll try and keep it short. Well,she was my first ever girlfriend...pretty much my first everything. I've never had any luck with girls before and after getting turned down time and time again,and with my depression emerging,I started retreating into myself and becoming more and more reclusive and isolated. I never thought I'd ever find anyone. And then she came along. As you can imagine,I fell hard. She made me feel wanted and loved for the first time ever. But eventually my depression and inexperience in relationships reared it's ugly head. She broke up with me after a year of being together. This was 2004-2005. Looking back on it I can't say I blame her. But for the next 5 years we hung out off and on. The few times she dated someone else,she removed me from her life,only to come back when she was single again. She would eventually admit to me that she hung out with me because she didn't want to be alone. She basically used me. It hurt on so many levels. And in a way,it broke my heart. I haven't been the same since. Believe me,I know I was an idiot,but like I've said,she made me feel so happy and I feel like from that moment on,she owned me. I think she knew she could treat me horribly and I 'd always still came back to her. Now,I don't know what happened because obviously she wasn't always like this,and I know that I messed up things alot. Trust me,I've told this story,in detail,to friends,co-workers and therapists and they've all told me the same thing; I have move on and meet new people;etc,etc. And I've tried to do that,but I still think about her all the time. Sometimes I do hate her,but sometimes I miss her so much it hurts. It's very frustrating.

I'm not going to reveal my own story which is relevant to this, but I 'gave' someone 13 years of my life waiting for someone to commit and in the end, I had to 'leave' the situation due to the grief and stress it was harming my life, and badly affecting my Type 1. It killed me at the time, but I have met someone else now and they truly are the person I am supposed to be with for the rest of my life and the questions I had to ask myself were the toughest of my life but they got me to where I am, over two years later. There is hope Venom.

 

[Flash525]

Well,she was my first ever girlfriend...pretty much my first everything.

This alone puts some things in perspective, a lot of people say you never forget your first love, and if she was your first everything, it's certainly understandable that you'd be reminded of her on a daily basis.

And then she came along. As you can imagine,I fell hard. She made me feel wanted and loved for the first time ever.

But where did she come from, and how (do you think) you succeeded with her when you'd failed with everyone before her?

She broke up with me after a year of being together. This was 2004-2005. Looking back on it I can't say I blame her. But for the next 5 years we hung out off and on. The few times she dated someone else,she removed me from her life,only to come back when she was single again. She would eventually admit to me that she hung out with me because she didn't want to be alone.

Honestly, and I say this as someone who's never had a long-term (or practically any) relationship, but you've got to stop thinking of all the bad things as bad, and simply think of them as experiences - experiences you can take with you and use to your advantage.

It surely was sucky, and it can't be nice to feel used, but it was what it was, and no amount of anything is going to change any of that.

But convincing my mind to move on seems like climbing Mt. Everest at this point.

You say (or imply?) that you're unhappy with other aspects of your life? What are those? Maybe you living in the past is a coping mechanism to get you through whatever it is you're dealing with now?

Thanks so much for that advice. I used to have everything she ever gave me. However,over the years I have actually thrown away a few things. I still do have a few letters that I've really been debating getting rid of,but I still don't feel ready yet.

It's not for anyone here to tell you what to do with those letters, but what do you gain by keeping them?

 

[Mandon Knight]

Just checking in and seeing how everyone is at the moment, big hugs and love to all.

 

[Flash525]

Maybe I'll post later, need to compose myself and not come across as just whining.

 

[Mandon Knight]

Maybe I'll post later, need to compose myself and not come across as just whining.

Sure it won't dude, you're fine, as ever, go for it.

 

[Flash525]

Be careful what you wish for...

...so let's talk about my mental health;

• Do I think I suffer from mental health? Yes, I think that I do somewhat.
• Do I feel depressed or fed up at times? Yes. More often than I'd like, though I'm more inclined to say that I feel fed up rather than depressed, not that I think I'd know if I was depressed anyway; where's the divide?
  Do I think I'm suicidal? No. I'm not suicidal, although if I were to be completely honest and transparent, I sometimes worry that I will end up there.

Spoiler

I have had days where I think why do I bother to get up in the morning only to repeat the cycle at work, go home to an empty house with nothing to do, but I've never put any serious thought into overdosing, jumping from a bridge or slinging a rope up in my garage.

I'm normally the kind of guy to bottle my problems up, rather than talk about them, which is kind of ironic when I volunteer for an organisation that deals with mental health and suicide prevention.

It's either that or I just wrap myself up in a bubble and go quiet. I can seemingly help other people with their issues, but I can't sort my own head out!? You'd think I'd have learned through my experiences there by now on how to manage me.

Ultimately if I'm having difficulty I'll put on a brave face, share some memes, post the odd joke and pretty much attempt to cover up whatever is wrong and persevere, hoping that it's just a phase I'm going through as I've had similar phases before - just the odd days or weeks where I just can't be bothered.

At the moment though, it seems different.

There's several key elements to my state of mind at the moment, none of which have been triggered by covid, but I think they've all been amplified by it in one way or another. In no particular order...

---------------

Firstly, there's the isolation. I thought I had a small but good network of friends that I could rely on, but I've come to realise they just aren't that.

I've lost two of those friends last year, and I say lost in the sense that the friendship always seemed like a one way street, and I just got to the point of asking why I bother if they don't.

Spoiler: friend1

Firstly there's a guy I've known since my senior school years, the friendship has been on and off since then, mostly because it seemed like I was doing all the effort.

There are other factors to the on/off aspect that range from illness, work and a relationship he was in, but it ultimately boils down to the same conclusion - he never reached out unless he wanted something.

Back in the fall of 2019, me, him and another mutual friend met up after an argument in the hope to resolve differences.

We ultimately reached a census where we decided we'd put the past behind us and start anew, although the friend in question didn't take long to revert to his old ways so I opted to simply call it a day with him. He's beyond reasoning. Haven't spoken since July.

Spoiler: friend2

The second is a girl that previously was quite friendly with my brother. She's married with three kids, and I did wonder whether there was more going on between her and my brother at one point.

In any case, earlier last year after she'd fell out hard with my brother (my brother had recently got a girlfriend at this point - make of that what you will) this girl and I started to develop a friendship, though in the back of my mind, I was often concerned that I was the substitute.

After many months of seemingly putting in more effort to the friendship, to only be contacted when it seemed she was bored and/or it was convenient, followed by several cancellations, I reached the end of my tether back early November (8th) when she cancelled on me again.

There was a two month silence from that point until she messaged me yesterday to apologise. I've yet to make a decision on where to go with that. She's waited 8+ weeks to get in touch which I can't quite work out, but that's irrelevant I suppose.

Spoiler: friend3

There's a third friend that I've started to question too. This one has always been in a circle (or triangle?) with my brother and me, although during the ever-changing tier system he made excuse after excuse not to see me/his friends OUTside due to restrictions.

Come late-December/January, he's gone out of his way to hook up with a girl and visit her INside. He's barely spoken a word to me this year, and his actions kinda solidify his priorities.

I get that this guy is probably in his honeymoon period, but his attitude to going above and beyond to ensure he's covering restrictions during tier 2 and 3, thus not seeing friends (even outside) to then go out of his way to ignore restrictions so he can unleash his aubergine inside makes me question just how much he cares about me, or even his other friendships.

You can't normally shut him up through various messaging platforms, but he's barely said two words as of 2021.

Secondly there's my professional career which is repeating the same mundane tasks day in, day out. I know everyone with a job at the moment should be grateful if it, but I just want out!

Spoiler: why I hate my job

My current employment is driving me down, further each day. There are some good days, where the work flows and I have a laugh with colleagues, but every other week (my late shift) I've often got too much time to dwell and think.

If I'm on an early shift I'll wake up, go to work, go home, sometimes go for a walk and the find myself stuck in front of Netflix.

If I'm on the late shift, I'll get up, sometimes go for a walk or sometimes do a HiiT workout then sit in front of the tv until work.

There's no progression here, there's no development, and there's no gratitude.

Even if there was, it's an industry I don't want to be in forever, but I don't know what I do want to do and anything I'm interested in pursuing requires an absurd number of qualifications which I can't realistically start acquiring in this climate - not that I particularly care to spend the next 3-5 years studying.

Thirdly, my relationship status, especially taking into account that friends and colleagues seem to be forming new relationships during a lockdown, and (upon reflection) I couldn't form one when outside of a lockdown.

Spoiler: why the dating game sucks

The dating scene has always been a struggle for me, and it's only become more difficult to meet people at the moment due to the pandemic.

The solution? Back to the swiping game, except that of the few matches I've made, and as detailed in the relationship thread, I'm ghosted after answering and informing said matches of my limited relationship experience.

I didn't think I'd be that bothered by this, but evidently I am.

I don't know whether it's the idea or concept of companionship or whether it's just the ever dwindling social circle that is starting to make me realise how alone I am, and how much more alone I could end up feeling.

Fourthly, there's my injuries, which have been discussed at length in the health and fitness topic.

Spoiler: what to do about my injuries

Of my many passions in life, running and cycling are right up there with the best of them. I don't cycle during the winter due to the cold and usually wet conditions, and so whilst I run over the summer, I tend to run more over the winter.

At the moment, I can't. Any other year when I'm injured, I'd just go to the gym, rehab work or weights, but I can't even do that at the moment, and home workouts require a certain amount of motivation and mindset, as limited as home workouts are.

Thankfully I'm still able to walk, and I'm covering a lot of miles doing doing that, but to make the most of my time it's long walks, by myself, and local. I'm beginning to get sick and tired of the same scenery.

We're not even supposed to travel for exercise at the moment are we? Not that this stops a lot of people...

My brother knows a little about my state of mind, but I don't think he truly grasps just how low I've become sometimes. He's got his own life too, and girlfriend, and I don't want to burden him/them with my troubles, as much as I know he's there for me, there's not a whole lot he can do short of talk things over, which lately has become a short term fix.

My parents are always there for support and to help break up my weekends, but I'd never reveal any of this to them as they'd worry too much - especially my mum, she'd be on the phone every five minutes making sure I haven't done anything stupid and as much as that goes to show they care, it would annoy the hell out of me.

So yeah..

 

[Mandon Knight]

@Flash525 Feel free to PM me or I can give you my mobile and we can talk it through at length, happy to help you, always.

 

[Flash525]

@Mandon Knight, feel free to break it down here, or through PM if you wish, but I'm better at projecting my feelings on this matter non verbally, as much as I appreciate the sentiment of a phone discussion.

 

[Mandon Knight]

@Mandon Knight, feel free to break it down here, or through PM if you wish, but I'm better at projecting my feelings on this matter non verbally, as much as I appreciate the sentiment of a phone discussion.

Okay mate, , will take me a while to put together responses but will respond on either of those two. Cheers.

 

[Venom75]

This alone puts some things in perspective, a lot of people say you never forget your first love, and if she was your first everything, it's certainly understandable that you'd be reminded of her on a daily basis.

You say (or imply?) that you're unhappy with other aspects of your life? What are those? Maybe you living in the past is a coping mechanism to get you through whatever it is you're dealing with now?

It's not for anyone here to tell you what to do with those letters, but what do you gain by keeping them?

Oh,I know living in the past is a vice of mine. I mean,when you're so unhappy with your present situation(I have been for at least 10 years)and who you are,it's so easy to dwell on the past. I'm well aware of all my faults and what I have to do to move on,but there's a major part of me that doesn't want to. Strange,I know. Maybe I feel like I don't deserve to be happy? I'm not sure. Those letters are a reminde of a better time,when I actually felt loved. For years I have thought about throwing them out,but you know...easier said than done.

 

[Mandon Knight]

@Mandon Knight, feel free to break it down here, or through PM if you wish, but I'm better at projecting my feelings on this matter non verbally, as much as I appreciate the sentiment of a phone discussion.

Sent PM for you mate.

 

[Venom75]

Maybe I'll post later, need to compose myself and not come across as just whining.

That's one of problems I felt before creating this topic...that some may see this all as whining. After all,we all have problems. Some more than others. But trust me,it's not. Depression,anxiety and other mental illnesses are not something to take lightly. I want to create this so that we all have a chance to get out feelings/problems out and hopefully get some great advice and some help from fellow board members. We're all here for each other.
By the way,I just sent out some applications for other jobs. I despise my current one. It's not helping my health at all and I so need a change. I'm so miserable there! I know it sounds rather mundane,but for me it's a major step.

 

[spiderman2]

That's one of problems I felt before creating this topic...that some may see this all as whining. After all,we all have problems. Some more than others. But trust me,it's not. Depression,anxiety and other mental illnesses are not something to take lightly. I want to create this so that we all have a chance to get out feelings/problems out and hopefully get some great advice and some help from fellow board members. We're all here for each other.
By the way,I just sent out some applications for other jobs. I despise my current one. It's not helping my health at all and I so need a change. I'm so miserable there! I know it sounds rather mundane,but for me it's a major step.

Yeah I can relate on that one already posted in this thread that like 95% of my depression and anxienty would be gone if I could find a new job and that I have been looking for years and like lost track of the amount of places I have put in for. I think around 180 jobs just sense the start of 2020. Having a job you despise is a big one when it comes to causing depression/anxienty because you spend so much of your time at work. I mean like 40 hours a week for like 40 years or so. If you had a job you hated but only had to work like 1 day a week or something it would not be a big deal but being there 5 days a week yeah it sucks. It really can rune your life.

 

[Venom75]

Yeah I can relate on that one already posted in this thread that like 95% of my depression and anxienty would be gone if I could find a new job and that I have been looking for years and like lost track of the amount of places I have put in for. I think around 180 jobs just sense the start of 2020. Having a job you despise is a big one when it comes to causing depression/anxienty because you spend so much of your time at work. I mean like 40 hours a week for like 40 years or so. If you had a job you hated but only had to work like 1 day a week or something it would not be a big deal but being there 5 days a week yeah it sucks. It really can rune your life.

I sorry you haven't found anything yet. I hope the new year brings new luck for you on that front,my friend. But,yes,a job can be a big factor in someone mental health. My fingers are crossed that I get something. Truthfully,I'm not even sure if a new job will help THAT much,but getting out of my current job I'm sure,would help me a lot. I try anything I can to leave early. lol I'm just sick of it.

 

[spiderman2]

I sorry you haven't found anything yet. I hope the new year brings new luck for you on that front,my friend. But,yes,a job can be a big factor in someone mental health. My fingers are crossed that I get something. Truthfully,I'm not even sure if a new job will help THAT much,but getting out of my current job I'm sure,would help me a lot. I try anything I can to leave early. lol I'm just sick of it.

I hope you find something to not sure like what is all bother you but for me it would help a lot. I fell more and more trapped each day at my work and I have had to surprise a lot of feelings and for someone who sucks at hiding how they fell and has no poker face it sucks. There is nothing I hate more than having to hold in how I fell. A lot of it is work related that I have had to surprse but I have had to hide how I fell a few times over things that where not work its self but things I would have not had to deal with it I was not in that area any more. Yeah I am trying to see about like going on a mental leave or going on unemployment my self just so I can get out of there for a little bit and try to have more time to try to focus on my self. It would be nice to just go out for a while so I can focus more on trying to find a job, exercising and losing weight and trying to forget about woman has that is something else that I am having to deal with and my self esteem is so low right now. The trying to get on a person leave is not even being easy has it took a month to get into the doctor and now I am having to wait 3 months or un till march 18th to see a therapist about taking time off. So like 4 months just to try to get time of. I know normally to get unemployment you got to be like laid of not just quite but because of covid it sounds like things are different. I was fead up on this job for a long time even before covid and having to deal with how much more busy work is because of covid and such just makes it worse

 

[Flash525]

I'm well aware of all my faults and what I have to do to move on, but there's a major part of me that doesn't want to. Strange, I know. Maybe I feel like I don't deserve to be happy? I'm not sure.

Maybe you're scared? As unhappy are you may be at the moment, might it be that you're ... content with it? Getting by day to day because you know you can, but also with the optimism that something will change/happen by chance?

I say this simply because I think that's how I've been living these past few years. I want change. I want differences, but I'm also not going out of my way to make them (in part because I don't necessarily know where to start).

If change frightens you, then I propose you need to conquer your fear.

Those letters are a reminde of a better time,when I actually felt loved. For years I have thought about throwing them out, but you know...easier said than done.

I can fully appreciate this, but if the letters are doing nothing for you, then I question the logic in keeping them.

That's one of problems I felt before creating this topic...that some may see this all as whining. After all,we all have problems. Some more than others.
[snip]
I want to create this so that we all have a chance to get out feelings/problems out and hopefully get some great advice and some help from fellow board members.

It's good to have the support, sure, but the area that I sometimes feel is in place is where people come along and post (or whine, as it were) in in the hope that someone else will fix all of their problems, or where they're going on about the same issues week in, week out, for months on end whilst not making any advancement in themselves.

It's okay to whine, it's okay to have a verbal (or even physical) cry, but if people aren't willing to help themselves, what's the endgame?

By the way, I just sent out some applications for other jobs. I despise my current one. It's not helping my health at all and I so need a change. I'm so miserable there! I know it sounds rather mundane, but for me it's a major step.

I may have been to quick to jump on some people about this before, but you're right, a job is a good portion of our lives, and if we're not happy in it, we've got to make changes to amend that. A happier job equals a happier self.

I think around 180 jobs just sense the start of 2020. Having a job you despise is a big one when it comes to causing depression/anxienty because you spend so much of your time at work. I mean like 40 hours a week for like 40 years or so. If you had a job you hated but only had to work like 1 day a week or something it would not be a big deal but being there 5 days a week yeah it sucks. It really can rune your life.

If I were you, I'd stop counting the number of jobs I've applied for, and been unsuccessful with. That's not going to make you feel any better.

Apply for jobs, by all means, but don't keep track of every job you don't get.


And for the next post, @spiderman2, what happened to those paragraphs we started to grow very fond of?

I hope you find something to not sure like what is all bother you but for me it would help a lot. I fell more and more trapped each day at my work and I have had to surprise a lot of feelings and for someone who sucks at hiding how they fell and has no poker face it sucks. There is nothing I hate more than having to hold in how I fell. A lot of it is work related that I have had to surprse but I have had to hide how I fell a few times over things that where not work its self but things I would have not had to deal with it I was not in that area any more.

If you're able to be clear and coherent in a reply, what is it exactly that you despise so much about your job? Is there anything you can do differently whilst working? Change your shifts, change how you do things, change who you work with? What's your wiggle room?

 

[spiderman2]

The only thing I don't hate is my hours so my schedule when it comes to wiggle room not much. Like everything is broken, no help, lazy coworkers and now having to deal with extra crazy busyness the last year or so because of people freaking out over covid

 

[Venom75]

Hugs and support to everyone today. Just try and take it one day at a time and never be afraid to open up and ask for help. Stay strong,everyone.

 

[Flash525]

Maybe we're looking at this the wrong way, and so allow me to propose it in another.

@spiderman2
@Venom75

You've both indicated you're unhappiness within your employment roles, and at least one of you (maybe both) have indicated that you've been applying for jobs elsewhere, but to ask the really stupid question; what jobs are you applying for, and why are you applying for them?

If you're applying for more of the same but in a different place, I can't help but ponder that logic as there's a chance it's the profession, rather than the specific place that you dislike. To futher expand on this question...

• what do each of you consider your own strengths and weaknesses (professionally) to be?
• if qualifications and experience weren't relevant, what would be your ideal job (within a realistic boundary)?

 

[Venom75]

Maybe we're looking at this the wrong way, and so allow me to propose it in another.

@spiderman2
@Venom75

You've both indicated you're unhappiness within your employment roles, and at least one of you (maybe both) have indicated that you've been applying for jobs elsewhere, but to ask the really stupid question; what jobs are you applying for, and why are you applying for them?

If you're applying for more of the same but in a different place, I can't help but ponder that logic as there's a chance it's the profession, rather than the specific place that you dislike. To futher expand on this question...

• what do each of you consider your own strengths and weaknesses (professionally) to be?
• if qualifications and experience weren't relevant, what would be your ideal job (within a realistic boundary)?

Well,the few jobs I've applied for pay a bit more,have benefits and I don't have to work retail(not really a huge people person). Even if I wasn't unhappy at where I work now,I feel like I need some kind of change. I've only had 2 jobs in my life and I've been at both for about 12 years. So,I'm usually not someone who'll work somewhere for a week or two,then quit.
My ideal job? Jeez. Probably some kind of artist or an actor. How about you,Flash?

 

[Flash525]

Well,the few jobs I've applied for pay a bit more,have benefits and I don't have to work retail(not really a huge people person). Even if I wasn't unhappy at where I work now,I feel like I need some kind of change.

Well I wish you luck with both of them.

I've only had 2 jobs in my life and I've been at both for about 12 years. So,I'm usually not someone who'll work somewhere for a week or two,then quit.

I can relate to this, certainly. I've only had two jobs also, the first was a part-time retail stint during my college days, and then I went into full time employment where I am now. I've been there some 13/14 years now. Definitely time for a change.

My ideal job? Jeez. Probably some kind of artist or an actor.

For someone who isn't a people person, you want the limelight of an actor or artist?

How about you,Flash?

If experience and qualifications weren't an obstacle, I think I'd thrive as a counsellor or occupational therapist or something of the sort. I genuinely enjoy helping people - providing they're willing to help themselves. Those are the roles I feel I'd have the most to give in.

Otherwise, I'd love to have the know how to be a 3d artist and/or 3d modeller. If finance wasn't an issue though, I'd actually open up a little cycling-themed cafe somewhere as I'm a keen cyclist and there's quite a few areas around these parts that are lacking a suitable cafe. Would further allow me to enhance my baking skills - I'd then have to spend some time on the bike burning the goods off though...

 

[ComicChick]

ive had some dark days, and i have them still sometimes, but a coworker friend of mine and i have become very close over the last year or so and since October-ish, we've been going on walks in our neighborhoods. we usually walk at least a mile, but usually 3 or more a few times a week and have been going almost every day this month. we're basically like sisters and our pasts are so similar that having a person to vent to and talk to has been very therapeutic. we've been working on our physical wellness with the walking, and our convos during have definitely helped the mental wellness.

even getting out and walking on my own has helped put me in a better headspace. granted i do fall back into slumps sometimes, but having a friend i'm accountable to helps keep me motivated and keeps me from sabotaging myself so much

 

[Venom75]

ive had some dark days, and i have them still sometimes, but a coworker friend of mine and i have become very close over the last year or so and since October-ish, we've been going on walks in our neighborhoods. we usually walk at least a mile, but usually 3 or more a few times a week and have been going almost every day this month. we're basically like sisters and our pasts are so similar that having a person to vent to and talk to has been very therapeutic. we've been working on our physical wellness with the walking, and our convos during have definitely helped the mental wellness.

even getting out and walking on my own has helped put me in a better headspace. granted i do fall back into slumps sometimes, but having a friend i'm accountable to helps keep me motivated and keeps me from sabotaging myself so much

I'm glad to hear that for the most part,you're doing well.Even if it doesn't solve all your problems,I really feel that just being able to get out your feelings to another person can really help your mentality. All my best thoughts for you,ComicChick!