The most ridiculous thing you've ever heard from a customer

[Tyrinus]

I work at an aquarium store:

phone rings
Me: blah and blah Aquarium.
Caller: Is this a fish store?
Me: Yes it is.
Caller: Do you sell baby chickens?
Me: Um...no.

-----

I'm working at the back of the store and this guy walks up to me.

Me: Can I help you?
Dumbass: This isn't where they have the dolphin shows, is it?
Me: Uh, no.

Anyone with half a brain should have known better solely based on the location of the store and store front. And this guy walked all the way to the back of the store, past everything, and still felt he had to ask this question to be sure.

 

[Man-Thing]

During high school I worked at a hardware store. One guy came in and asked if we had a bathroom real urgently. I told him where it was. As he rushed off I saw his crap laying on the floor.

I immediatley went to my manager and told him "I'm gonna go ahead and quit if your gonna make me clean that up". He understood and laughed and then got my nerdy friend to clean it up.

I was outside filling up a propane tank when my friend came busting through the door vomiting all over himself carrying the bucket that contained the mans dierheia.

 

[Ocelot]

I used to work at an office supply store and we would get some weird customers every so often. Here are the worst I have encountered.

I am talking with this woman, she is around 50 or so, about possibly buying a new computer. I am talking with her for a little while, nothing weird whatsoever happens until this:
Me: Do you remember any of the specs on your older computer, operating system or anything like that?

Customer: No I don't have my computer right now because my son and his Russian ****e stole it from me.

Me: *after several seconds of looking stunned* Yeah you gotta watch out for that I guess....

Another customer, this guy, before I even talk to him, looks weird, tall, wearing a long black trench coat, wearing black pants, black shirt, army boots.
And he walks in about 10 minutes before we close looking for a pen refill. So I m talking to him and he is all over the place. First he is talking about what kind of refill he needs and all of a sudden he goes to whether bombing Hiroshima was necessary or not. And all sorts of other poltical bull****. We are about to close, this guy is the last customer I am trying to direct his attenton to the pen refills. So he has his pen he needs a refill for and starts trying out a refill, so I open one and let him try it. Somewhere in the process of him fitting the refill, something breaks in his pen, a plastic part or something breaks and he can't put his pen back together, which he says is a very rare pen and has had it for over 10 years.

So he blames me, he blames me and says I broke it. I didn't touch his pen at all. So he goes up to our manager and explains that I broke the pen and he wants a refund for his pen, which he didnt buy at our store and he says its vauled at 75 dollars. Of course we can't do anything. So he goes on about how he has some disorder and this isn't making him feel good. We are well past closing time before he leaves, swearign to take us to court. But thats not the worst.

He then proceeds to go outside and write down the driver license plates on all the cars in our parking lot. One of the cashier's husband was waiting in his car outside and drives away before he can write down his license plate number. The nut then gets in his car and follows the cashier's boyfriend around the parking alot in circles!! We call the cops but by the time they get there he gone. Never heard from him again.

 

[War Lord]

Probably the most ridiculous request I've had from a customer is for a further discount on gas, after the transaction was finished.

 

[Ronny Shade]

I used to work at an office supply store and we would get some weird customers every so often. Here are the worst I have encountered.

I am talking with this woman, she is around 50 or so, about possibly buying a new computer. I am talking with her for a little while, nothing weird whatsoever happens until this:
Me: Do you remember any of the specs on your older computer, operating system or anything like that?

Customer: No I don't have my computer right now because my son and his Russian ****e stole it from me.

Me: *after several seconds of looking stunned* Yeah you gotta watch out for that I guess....

Another customer, this guy, before I even talk to him, looks weird, tall, wearing a long black trench coat, wearing black pants, black shirt, army boots.
And he walks in about 10 minutes before we close looking for a pen refill. So I m talking to him and he is all over the place. First he is talking about what kind of refill he needs and all of a sudden he goes to whether bombing Hiroshima was necessary or not. And all sorts of other poltical bull****. We are about to close, this guy is the last customer I am trying to direct his attenton to the pen refills. So he has his pen he needs a refill for and starts trying out a refill, so I open one and let him try it. Somewhere in the process of him fitting the refill, something breaks in his pen, a plastic part or something breaks and he can't put his pen back together, which he says is a very rare pen and has had it for over 10 years.

So he blames me, he blames me and says I broke it. I didn't touch his pen at all. So he goes up to our manager and explains that I broke the pen and he wants a refund for his pen, which he didnt buy at our store and he says its vauled at 75 dollars. Of course we can't do anything. So he goes on about how he has some disorder and this isn't making him feel good. We are well past closing time before he leaves, swearign to take us to court. But thats not the worst.

He then proceeds to go outside and write down the driver license plates on all the cars in our parking lot. One of the cashier's husband was waiting in his car outside and drives away before he can write down his license plate number. The nut then gets in his car and follows the cashier's boyfriend around the parking alot in circles!! We call the cops but by the time they get there he gone. Never heard from him again.

This is why I fear and loathe customer service jobs

 

[\S/JcDc\S/]

All I remember from when I worked retail was customers who said "It doesn't scan, that must be free" Then they laugh as if it's the funniest thing ever said It's not

 

[The Amazing Lee]

When working at Burger King at the customers ask for Big Mac Meals

 

[Archangel]

Thank god for the graveyard shift.

 

[redmarvel]

I worked at a tourist information booth one summer up in Emsdale, Ontario, Canada (part of the Muskoka region near Algonquin Park).

One summer as I and the other girls were enjoying the air conditioning of our office a car drives up with American plates. We get a lot of American tourists, they are quite common, so this wasn't unusual. "Pops" get's out of the car (and to say he could use a diet would be to put it mildly), comes into our place and asks:

"Where's the snow?"

Since it was July our response was...

"Keep driving North, you'll find it eventually."

 

[Dorian Gray]

My father alway teases me about this....


I used to work with my father a not long ago delievering and servicing Spas(Hot Tubs). On one delivery after we put it in place the customer started talking to us about the usual how it works etc. Then she went on about how she can't wait to used it.

She looks and me and says......

Customer: I bet you'd look good naked in this tub
Me:

Flattering but creepy being that she was at least in her 50's

 

[Archangel]

My father alway teases me about this....


I used to work with my father a not long ago delievering and servicing Spas(Hot Tubs). On one delivery after we put it in place the customer started talking to us about the usual how it works etc. Then she went on about how she can't wait to used it.

She looks and me and says......

Customer: I bet you'd look good naked in this tub
Me:

Flattering but creepy being that she was at least in her 50's

"Why thanks, at least one of us would!"

 

[the_ultimate_evil]

I work part time in retail in a sports shop. the general public are some of the most ignorant, rude and moronic people out there. the amount of hassle i've had to put up with i try and give as much as i get

the two worst ones i've ever had was some mum asked me if i taken my gcse's(end of high school exams) i told her of course at this point she turns to her son and says "see this is what happens if you dont study now do you want this"

and the other was i brought out a couple a pair of shoes the husband looks at the book and says

"ohh he got the size and brand right", his wife asks him to be nice and that i can hear him. i'm about 3 feet away he replys " i wouldnt worry he cant understand me after all he work as sales staff i'd be surprised if he didnt have trouble reading or writing". before i could reply my boss pulls me off the floor telling me she knows me and its for the customers well being

 

[Immortalfire]

I'm in radio, and I get this one old woman calls and asks me what time it is

Get a freakin' clock

 

[The Comedian]

 

[THWIP*]

I'm in radio, and I get this one old woman calls and asks me what time it is

Get a freakin' clock

YOU SHOULD TELL HER "IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO F***ING STOP CALLING ME, AND BUY A GODDAMN CLOCK, B****! "

 

[JTIZZLEVILLE]

This didn't happen on my job but I was at the store when it occurred...

Me, my mom, and my sis were walking around in one of those stores that sales scented lotion, soap, body wash, etc. They had this display at the front of the store of this new brand of lotion that smelled like foods. They were in jars and had scents like Apple Pie, Strawberries, Peaches, and they had spoons in them so people could get a sample of lotion to try it out.

Suddenly, this older guy starts ranting about how he wants to talk to one of the managers. the manager comes out and asks what the problem is. This is what he said...

MAN: I just want you to know that your yogurt at the front tastes horrible and I think its past its exporation date. You better take them down before someone gets sick off of it.

And he was dead serious. Me and my family just bursted out laughing and left.

 

[krpton2]

"How can i help you?"

"Yes, what do you sell in here?"

 

[Ocelot]

I work part time in retail in a sports shop. the general public are some of the most ignorant, rude and moronic people out there. the amount of hassle i've had to put up with i try and give as much as i get

the two worst ones i've ever had was some mum asked me if i taken my gcse's(end of high school exams) i told her of course at this point she turns to her son and says "see this is what happens if you dont study now do you want this"

and the other was i brought out a couple a pair of shoes the husband looks at the book and says

"ohh he got the size and brand right", his wife asks him to be nice and that i can hear him. i'm about 3 feet away he replys " i wouldnt worry he cant understand me after all he work as sales staff i'd be surprised if he didnt have trouble reading or writing". before i could reply my boss pulls me off the floor telling me she knows me and its for the customers well being

Wow thats pretty bad, the worst I have ever heard. I would probably not have cared if I had gotten fired if I said anything back to either of those customers. Holy ****, that makes me mad just reading about it.

THWIP, move your finger off the shift key.

 

[Immortalfire]

When working at Burger King at the customers ask for Big Mac Meals

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

 

[Master Chief]

That's genius. It was funny and taught me that I could read upside down.

 

[SuperFerret]

I used to work at a pet store, and I now work at a vet's office, and I have been asked multiple times by various customers for condoms for their cats. And I need to vent.

For God's sake, people get your pet fixed!! The animal doesn't care about his "masculinity" being lost by losing his testicles! And they don't care that they'll be spending their life as a virgin! And how the F*** are you going to put the frickin' condom on the frickin' cat!? You morons!!! You lazy, stupid, cheap friggin' MORONS!!!!


That is all. Thank you all for your time, and for letting me vent my frustrations.

 

[terry78]

"This is going to sound like a stupid question", which is usually followed by said stupid question they warned me about beforehand.

 

[Tyrinus]

more from an aquarium:

"Do you sell fish?"
after walking past dozens of tanks of fish with prices posted

upon telling a customer they don't need to leave their aquarium light on 24/7
"You mean fish can survive in the dark?"
no, cause in nature they all have flashlights for when the sun sets

 

[The Phantom]

"Do you guys sell any alcohol hear?" But giving the customers the benefit of the doubt, a football game was going on at the time.

 

[Hobgoblin]

Last Friday a customer called to order a pizza and requested the slices be cut in squares. I did that, and they went home with theri pizza. Then they called back and asked if I was mentally challenged because the slices werent square enough. My boss though this was hilarious. I gave her a glare.