The Official Chuck Norris Thread

[BAH HUMBBUG!]

I don't like how people just took some Vin Diesel facts and replaced Vin with Chuck

The origininal one's are hilarious though

Come on, Chuck Norris' are waaaay better than Vin Diesel.

 

[Caliber]

Come on, Chuck Norris' are waaaay better than Vin Diesel.

Norris's movies are almost as bad though.

 

[BAH HUMBBUG!]

Norris's movies are almost as bad though.

No I meant the 100 facts of Chuck Norris. Not his movies, his movies being worse and acting, thusly making the 100 facts about him a lot better and funnier

 

[Gamma Ray]

What's with the recent fascination with Chuck "Nobody" Norris? Did he say/do something to catch media flak?

 

[Spider-X]

What's with the recent fascination with Chuck "Nobody" Norris? Did he say/do something to catch media flak?

http://www.4q.cc/chuck/

..have fun

 

[BAH HUMBBUG!]

Chuck Norris pisses acid

 

[Drakon]

All over you. =x

 

[Cracker Jack]

I'm neither bashing nor making fun of Chuck Norris. I actually admire and respect the guy more than any other person in "Hollywood." He's the only living actor I would actually like to meet if given the chance.

Only if you ever meet him he'd roundhouse kick you in the head and let you live so you wouldn't remember meeting him or your name. You'd only remember that Chuck Norris roundhoused the world into existence.

BTW, this thread is Hysterical

 

[blind_fury]

Chuck Norris once decapitated an adversary with a single karate chop. Military leaders were so impressed they still mimic it today. It is known as the salute.

Chuck Norris' sweat is also shark repellant.

Bears have been known to play dead when they see Chuck Norris or even hear his name.

Immigrants don't come to America for opportunity. They come to be closer to Chuck Norris.

If someone tries to rape you, don't yell "rape". Yell "Chuck Norris". Terrified people don't get erections.

 

[Fledermaus]

If Chuck Norris decided to be a pimp, we'd all be ****es

 

[Equint77]

http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1642842/

god that cartoon sucked.... for all you Norris groupies.. this link plays the opening them to Chuck Norris Karate Komandos.

 

[JackBauer]

Chuck Norris knows what you did last summer.

 

[Superman79]

Chuck Norris once decapitated an adversary with a single karate chop. Military leaders were so impressed they still mimic it today. It is known as the salute.

If someone tries to rape you, don't yell "rape". Yell "Chuck Norris". Terrified people don't get erections.

GREAT ONES LOL!!!!!!!

 

[JackBauer]

my favourite fact of all three random fact lists: "Vin Diesel can simply walk into Mordor".

 

[true316]

Scientists do not know what caused the Big Bang. Unknown to them, Chuck Norris was not satisfied with "not knowing." He simply went back in time through sheer force of will, performed a roundhouse kick, and the rest is history.

Great thread by the way. Chuck Norris ROCKS!!!

 

[Superman79]

God said: "Let there be light". Chuck Norris replied: "say please".

 

[Capt Throbberson]

Come on, Chuck Norris' are waaaay better than Vin Diesel.

Vin facts came first

 

[Superman79]

Vin facts came first

yeah, but Chuck Norris pwns Vin

Vin Diesel can no longer grow hair after sustaining a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris that knocked it all out by the roots...hence Vin's constant "shaved" head.

 

[BAH HUMBBUG!]

yeah, but Chuck Norris pwns Vin

Vin Diesel can no longer grow hair after sustaining a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris that knocked it all out by the roots...hence Vin's constant "shaved" head.

EXACTLY!

 

[wiegeabo]

The Norris facts are better.

Although I do like the Vin fact:
"Wolverine's bones are bonded to the indestructable metal Adamantium. Vin Diesel's bones are bonded to 80's pop star Adam Ant."

 

[screech_turbo]

favorite chuck quote:


"can i do it? do it do it....."

"can i kill? kill kill kill...."

"my brother? brother brother brother...."

 

[Superman79]

While visiting the Ukraine, Chuck Norris once consumed 239 pounds of liver and onions in one sitting, he then bletched, killing thousands...the resulting Ukrianian government cover up was called "Chernobyl"

 

[The_Raven]

Not to be outdone by the popularity of Marky Mark's third nipple, Chuck Norris willed into creation a magical teat located just to the right of his belly button that generates a stream of crude oil whenever Chuck hears the song "Good Vibrations".

 

[ShadowBoxing]

The US constitution was not created to protect citizens from themselves...but to protect citizens from Chuck Norris

 

[ShadowBoxing]

Superman is not from the dead planet Krypton like he suspects, that is just the lie Chuck Norris tells all his illegitimate children

The Super Soldier Serum is just Chuck Norris' blood

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked himself and became paralyzed from the neck down. Two days later he could walk again. He did this just to prove how much of a ***** Christopher Reeves was.

Socrates would not be so smart if Chuck Norris had not told him all the secrets to life first