The Temple of Doomed Relationships

[SuperMike335!!]

As always I suggest my favorite site for you to start reading and taking notes: http://heartiste.wordpress.com/

 

[Daniel Thompson]

^ I would rather not use sites and just use my expierence as I go.

Then again its worth a shot. I had read some of that stuff on that website, too long to read everything. But what got my attention the most was the wingman stuff.

But what are you telling me I should really do SuperMike335? Be a playboy? Go after ton of women and try to score with them? Because thats actually my mind set now.

 

[steintym]

I'd hold on longer before sex and see if the guy sticks around. There's gotta be someone out there that will like you (and be completely heterosexual)

I agree completely. We give my sister-in-law this same advice all the time. She gives it way too quick and guys are constantly ditching her. She thinks screwing the guys right away will keep them around. If nothing else, she should just give our approach a chance, see what happens.

 

[Daniel Thompson]

I agree completely. We give my sister-in-law this same advice all the time. She gives it way too quick and guys are constantly ditching her. She thinks screwing the guys right away will keep them around. If nothing else, she should just give our approach a chance, see what happens.

Guys in the hood call that the ''**** em n duck em'' routine....not cool, but some people are jerks.

 

[Boy Scout]

Is it wrong to tell a girl that the two of you should talk more in person? Or should you just keep quiet and privately decide to make the effort to talk to her more?

 

[DV8]

Is it wrong to tell a girl that the two of you should talk more in person? Or should you just keep quiet and privately decide to make the effort to talk to her more?

yeah, seems a little awkward you should just make it kinda happen . . . why do you ask this? do you chat a lot online or something?

 

[Boy Scout]

yeah, seems a little awkward you should just make it kinda happen . . . why do you ask this? do you chat a lot online or something?

No, we text. We have a class together, and we talk, but it's more bantering and teasing that actual conversation.

 

[DV8]

so I've been talking to this girl for a while now; emailing her everyday (we work together) I text her sometimes; we get along great and have great convos; she is a chick I could really see myself committing to; but she just got out of a 7-year relationship; this is the ONLY dude she's EVER been with; she moved out about a month and some change, and we were planning on going on a date to get some pizza this weekend

well today she basically says she just wants to be friends; that we can hang out and stuff, but that's as far as she wants to take it

I respect her honesty, but I'm really not interested in doing that Lol . . . it sucks cuz while I am more than happy to take it slow with her, I am not interested in just being friends (in the long run)

I will probably cancel the date and gradually stop talking to her Lol

 

[LOBO3315a]

Update: I have finished my challenge, successfully. I was able to seduce and convert a gay man on the Morrow. I used my gay friend who works security at a bar to seduce a gay man and converted him to decaf. I'm awesome.

The decaf comment is lost on me....

 

[Anubis]

The challenge was to convert a gay guy. She successfully converted a gay guy from regular coffee to decaffeinated coffee.

The joke being the whole convert thing wasn't specified as to what you were converting them too. She also could have gone with converted a gay guy to Catholicism, Mac Computers, or boxer briefs.

 

[steintym]

The challenge was to convert a gay guy. She successfully converted a gay guy from regular coffee to decaffeinated coffee.

The joke being the whole convert thing wasn't specified as to what you were converting them too. She also could have gone with converted a gay guy to Catholicism, Mac Computers, or boxer briefs.

Thank you ... I didn't really get it either

 

[steintym]

Is it wrong to tell a girl that the two of you should talk more in person? Or should you just keep quiet and privately decide to make the effort to talk to her more?

What's the relationship? Are you dating? Just friends? Hoping for more?

If you're just friends, you might weird her out. If you're dating, I would probably just take the initiative and make the effort to talk live to her more.

 

[SpideyVille]

No, we text. We have a class together, and we talk, but it's more bantering and teasing that actual conversation.

Just go with it. Don't bring it up, but try to make an effort to have an actual conversation. My best friend and I started off like that, where it seemed like everything was either a joke or something exaggerated. It took a while to see that serious side of her, but now we can have serious talks and conversations and still joke around whenever the time calls for it.

 

[Lily Adler]

Man I have got to get better at my joke telling skills.

 

[steintym]

Not completely your fault ... I'm drinking

 

[Boy Scout]

What's the relationship? Are you dating? Just friends? Hoping for more?

If you're just friends, you might weird her out. If you're dating, I would probably just take the initiative and make the effort to talk live to her more.

We're friends...but she knows I like her and we flirt regularly. Being in such a big school and only one class makes it kind of hard for us to really associate outside of class, and since the only kind of talking we do in that class is either bantering or part of a scene, it gets frustrating at times where the side of her I think I like the most only comes out when we're texting. Which isn't anyone's fault, because again, we don't see each other much, but still...

Just go with it. Don't bring it up, but try to make an effort to have an actual conversation.

I sort of did bring it up - but not in a creepy way. I just said that I "noticed we text a lot more than we talk face-to-face" but I said it in a joking way. She brought up that we only have one class together and then I brought up the possibility of hanging out outside of school together at one point.

I just said that My best friend and I started off like that, where it seemed like everything was either a joke or something exaggerated. It took a while to see that serious side of her, but now we can have serious talks and conversations and still joke around whenever the time calls for it.

Maybe we'll get there eventually.

 

[Boy Scout]

What I really need to do is just relax. I'm overthinking and stressing about way too many things, and if I keep it up, I'll drive her away. I'm just so afraid that if I say or do the wrong thing, everything will fall apart. It's almost like I can't allow myself to break free from these mental chains and just relax and be myself around her at times...

 

[SpideyVille]

I understand because I'm the exact same way. You just have to find a way around those mental barriers because that's really all that it is. Heck I liked this girl that I got along with so well whenever we would talk online. But in person, I just couldn't get my stuff together and she even pointed it out once how I was different. You just have to find a way to occupy your mind with other things and not put so much thought or focus into what might happen or what should happen, and just let things play out.

And big advice, especially since you're still young. Don't fear the idea of making a mistake. I did that and it kept me from doing some much. Mistakes bring out learning experiences so don't fear the idea of something not turning out the way you want.

 

[Boy Scout]

I understand because I'm the exact same way. You just have to find a way around those mental barriers because that's really all that it is. Heck I liked this girl that I got along with so well whenever we would talk online. But in person, I just couldn't get my stuff together and she even pointed it out once how I was different. You just have to find a way to occupy your mind with other things and not put so much thought or focus into what might happen or what should happen, and just let things play out.

You're right. It's just that these issues came to a head tonight. She called someone out on being "too pressed" and wanting them to "chill the **** out" and that she hates people who "come on too strong" and come off as "too desperate" or whatever. And honestly, that's how I feel I come off sometimes. And since she said that seconds after a conversation we had just had...it made me think she was talking about me. And she wasn't, but I thought she was, and to think that I was the one that was annoying her so much by coming off like such a try-hard just...killed me.

And big advice, especially since you're still young. Don't fear the idea of making a mistake. I did that and it kept me from doing some much. Mistakes bring out learning experiences so don't fear the idea of something not turning out the way you want.

I know. It's just...I don't really want to make a huge mistake with this girl. I like her. A lot. And I want things to work out. And I want to prepare myself for the very real possibility that it won't, but when I think of it, it's like this giant hand grips my heart and squeezes it tight. It's completely ridiculous, but I can't help it. I'm honestly a little insecure, when it comes to her. And I can't help it.

 

[LOBO3315a]

Man I have got to get better at my joke telling skills.

And I'm a bit of a maroon. I thought decaf was a euphemism for something naughty.

 

[DV8]

You're right. It's just that these issues came to a head tonight. She called someone out on being "too pressed" and wanting them to "chill the **** out" and that she hates people who "come on too strong" and come off as "too desperate" or whatever. And honestly, that's how I feel I come off sometimes. And since she said that seconds after a conversation we had just had...it made me think she was talking about me. And she wasn't, but I thought she was, and to think that I was the one that was annoying her so much by coming off like such a try-hard just...killed me.



I know. It's just...I don't really want to make a huge mistake with this girl. I like her. A lot. And I want things to work out. And I want to prepare myself for the very real possibility that it won't, but when I think of it, it's like this giant hand grips my heart and squeezes it tight. It's completely ridiculous, but I can't help it. I'm honestly a little insecure, when it comes to her. And I can't help it.

Do u know she digs u the way u dig her? Cuz I hate to say this but UI don't think you're ready for this chick...u r way too nervous I don't think u can handle her

One way to get over this, u need to start talking to more females, more often...your game will start to come more naturally and u won't get this "putting all your eggs in one basket" syndrome

 

[SpideyVille]

You're right. It's just that these issues came to a head tonight. She called someone out on being "too pressed" and wanting them to "chill the **** out" and that she hates people who "come on too strong" and come off as "too desperate" or whatever. And honestly, that's how I feel I come off sometimes. And since she said that seconds after a conversation we had just had...it made me think she was talking about me. And she wasn't, but I thought she was, and to think that I was the one that was annoying her so much by coming off like such a try-hard just...killed me.

If you feel like you may have been doing that, then maybe you should try to back off a little. I liked this girl and we talked every day for over a month and after that it cooled down, but I kept wondering what happened and why things changed, and I ended up going down that same road and she told me the same thing, which confused me at the time because she really did seem to change over night. Had I known she felt smothered, I would've given her her space, but I was more concerned with just trying to get a hold of her after days and weeks of nothing that I didn't even think of letting her be for a while.

I know. It's just...I don't really want to make a huge mistake with this girl. I like her. A lot. And I want things to work out. And I want to prepare myself for the very real possibility that it won't, but when I think of it, it's like this giant hand grips my heart and squeezes it tight. It's completely ridiculous, but I can't help it. I'm honestly a little insecure, when it comes to her. And I can't help it.

Don't feel bad, it happens to all of us. You can't help how you feel about someone or how intense those feelings are, but you can control how you act and react to things.

I'm 23 and have never had a girlfriend but tried so hard on so many occasions. I can say that I had that same fear of ruining things with each girl that I seriously pursued, and I spent so much time and energy on them that when they didn't work out, it devastated me and it usually took months to recover. But the funny thing is, looking back on how I felt about each of them back then, as much as I liked all of them, I can't help but laugh at how stupid I was and how I can't even remember what I liked so much about them. I realize I wasted a lot of time pining after girls and wasted even more time regretting how things turned out.

I don't doubt that you find this one special and really want things to work out, but if they don't, I can guarantee that you'll find another one who will make you feel the same, if not stronger for her. Whatever you do, just make sure you keep that in mind and remember that if anything goes wrong, its not the end of the world. Disappointment is inevitable, but misery is optional, so with that in mind, you shouldn't put so much pressure on yourself to try to make it work.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

I agree completely. We give my sister-in-law this same advice all the time. She gives it way too quick and guys are constantly ditching her. She thinks screwing the guys right away will keep them around. If nothing else, she should just give our approach a chance, see what happens.

What makes you think I give it up quick with guys that I like?

I've had a few drunken one night stands - but I never wanted it to go any further.

I've slept with a few of my male friends - after years of knowing them, and just both seeking some comfort.

But when it comes to boyfriends?!

I've only had 4.

The first one I was 15 and never slept with him.

The second one I was 19 and a virgin, started dating in September on my bday and made him wait until June the next year.

The third one I dated for two weeks first.

The fourth one I hung out with almost every night for a month before we slept together.

There's actually this guy I really like at the moment who has asked me to sleep with him twice when he was drunk but I keep saying no, because I actually like him!

 

[hopefuldreamer]

What I really need to do is just relax. I'm overthinking and stressing about way too many things, and if I keep it up, I'll drive her away. I'm just so afraid that if I say or do the wrong thing, everything will fall apart. It's almost like I can't allow myself to break free from these mental chains and just relax and be myself around her at times...

It's very difficult when you like someone that much, but somehow you just gotta try and act like your not all that fussed!

For me, I always consider when a guy finds out I like him and have been crushing on him as Game Over.

He will never see me as attractive if he knows he could have me in a second and that I've been talking about how much I like him to people and stuff. You just look pathetic.

My work colleague did that to me recently. She found out I liked this guy who comes into the bar, and she told him I liked him and had one of those 'do you like her? Why don't you ask her out conversations'.

Next thing I know, he's coming up all smug with this grin on his face and saying 'little birdie tells me you like me' and my stomach twists into a humungous frightened knot.

Ever since, I've had to do damage control. I responded immediately with 'sure I do, your a cutie pie' in a jokey voice and pinched his cheek and have just tried to play it cool and let him tease me about it like it was never that big a deal.

You say this girl knows you like her?

How does she know? Did you tell her, or do you just think it's obvious?

Whatever you do, I'd say you definitely have to show her that she is not the centre of your universe (even if she is ). Cause it'll put her off you completely if you show such strong attraction so early on.

 

[steintym]

What makes you think I give it up quick with guys that I like?

I've had a few drunken one night stands - but I never wanted it to go any further.

I've slept with a few of my male friends - after years of knowing them, and just both seeking some comfort.

But when it comes to boyfriends?!

I've only had 4.

The first one I was 15 and never slept with him.

The second one I was 19 and a virgin, started dating in September on my bday and made him wait until June the next year.

The third one I dated for two weeks first.

The fourth one I hung out with almost every night for a month before we slept together.

There's actually this guy I really like at the moment who has asked me to sleep with him twice when he was drunk but I keep saying no, because I actually like him!

Well ... I guess I got nothing. My fault, I did jump to conclusions that the whole **** buddy thing implied you were giving it up too soon.

In general, though, I wouldn't be too concerned. You're still way young.