Lord of the Advice: Return of the King of Relationships

[Anita18]

Well if you didn't wow her on that first date, that may be why she isn't pursuing you. If she was into you, you'd kinda would see it, especially if you saw each other all the time.

Agree. Or maybe he fumbled on the follow-up. If she doesn't acknowledge you, at least say hi to feel things out.

Doing things like ignoring her when she ignores you is the fast track to yesterday's news.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

so i go out with this girl a couple weeks ago, not much comes of it and it ends with "i'll see you around."

but then i see her in the theater later make a joke about her taking my seat and now we're texting all the time. i've seen her out a couple of times since but neither of us really acknowledges the presence of the other, maybe a smile or a glance but not a lot more.

what am i looking at?

I think you need to give a bit more info.

I mean, my first instinct is - She's not interested.

But maybe if you described the date, and gave us an idea of what this texting is like? Is it flirty? Who initiated the texting? Have you mentioned going out again in these texts?

 

[runawayboulder]

Sounds like she doesn't know what the hell she wants, just like every other girl on the planet.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

And men do?

I have a question.

Do you think it's possible for two people to be in love, but just recognise that the timing among other things is just wrong?

 

[Erzengel]

Anything is possible. I think it takes two mature people to walk away from it, and even stronger people to hold off til things are right. But, then you meet someone else, you get a raise or you have to relocated......

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

And men do?

I have a question.

Do you think it's possible for two people to be in love, but just recognise that the timing among other things is just wrong?

Very. It's hard to say where it's ever gonna go, but I've sensed a girl has been wanting *this* for a while now, and I think she's both waiting for me to be more ready for settling down and trying to ditch the relationship she has. Those situations aren't ideal in my opinion, so I never put all my effort into those kinds of relationships, but they exist for me certainly. Good match, bad timing.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Yeah I think I have a case of that with my old housemate.

I mean, I still have feelings for him. And the way he acts around me, stuff he says... I dunno, I feel like I mean a lot to him too.

Maybe it's just all becoming more apparent because I'm leaving in under a week. He keeps telling me how much he's really going to miss me (and this is a guy who doesn't talk about his feelings much). We talked about him coming with me a while back, but he says he has to get his head down first and do some hard work.

Which I totally get. He's been travelling round Thailand and areas on and off for over a year now. He's spent WAAAAAYYYY too much of his compensation money. And if he came to the city with me now, he'd probably just see it as another vacation (cause there is just so much to do there, and such a great vibe).

So he says he's going to work in this kitchen job he's just got for 6 months and then see what happens, dunno where he might end up.

And there's this part of me hoping that in 6 months we'll both be the people we need to be in order for a relationship between us to work. He'll have sorted his head out a bit and got back to reality, I'll be less depressed from being stuck in a dead end job in a dead end town. Could be just right

Of course, I could meet someone in those 6 months and this could all become completely irrelevant... Or like one of those tragic chick flicks the guy could realise he loves me too late and then I have to choose... Oh that would suck

 

[knowsbleed]

Do you think it's possible for two people to be in love, but just recognise that the timing among other things is just wrong?

Yes, but I think it will take one person to convince the other person. It would be extremely rare for mutual realization.

 

[lixdexia]

Well if you didn't wow her on that first date, that may be why she isn't pursuing you. If she was into you, you'd kinda would see it, especially if you saw each other all the time.

cool cool. that's what i figured but thought i should get some second opinions. thanks everyone

 

[SpideyVille]

So what's the right thing to do when it comes to the relationships of others, in terms of knowing when and what to say when asked questions about whether someone has been cheating or not?

I have these two friends who have been dating for about 7 months. The girl was in my acting class and was my scene partner in my first play, and I met her boyfriend through that show as he was involved too. We all became good friends and I like them together. But earlier today, the girl told me about an incident that she had mentioned before about having a bad feeling whenever this female friend of his was around, all because of what she heard happened at a cast party that she wasn't at but I was a few months.

Basically her boyfriend finally admitted to kissing the girl at that party, and my friend was asking what I thought she should do, since she didn't like the fact that he lied to her about the whole thing months ago when she first asked. Since I'm cool with him, I don't want to say she should break up with him because I know he's not hooking up with random chicks, but at the same time, I always felt she deserved better just because I would always hear and see him checking out other girls when she's not around, and I felt like out of respect to her, that wasn't right. Like I know enough things about him that could convince her to break up with him, but at the same time I feel like I'd be breaking a bro code or something by not covering up for him. They're both good friends of mine and she trusts more in my judgment than most of our other friends, so I don't really know what to say.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

There really aren't many rules about relationships. They are highly unpredictable. Usually makes them fun.

 

[terry78]

There really aren't many rules about relationships. They are highly unpredictable. Usually makes them fun.

If we're looking to get laid though, we want it to be predictable as **** .

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

If we're looking to get laid though, we want it to be predictable as **** .

To a point.

 

[Harlekin]

So what's the right thing to do when it comes to the relationships of others, in terms of knowing when and what to say when asked questions about whether someone has been cheating or not?

I have these two friends who have been dating for about 7 months. The girl was in my acting class and was my scene partner in my first play, and I met her boyfriend through that show as he was involved too. We all became good friends and I like them together. But earlier today, the girl told me about an incident that she had mentioned before about having a bad feeling whenever this female friend of his was around, all because of what she heard happened at a cast party that she wasn't at but I was a few months.

Basically her boyfriend finally admitted to kissing the girl at that party, and my friend was asking what I thought she should do, since she didn't like the fact that he lied to her about the whole thing months ago when she first asked. Since I'm cool with him, I don't want to say she should break up with him because I know he's not hooking up with random chicks, but at the same time, I always felt she deserved better just because I would always hear and see him checking out other girls when she's not around, and I felt like out of respect to her, that wasn't right. Like I know enough things about him that could convince her to break up with him, but at the same time I feel like I'd be breaking a bro code or something by not covering up for him. They're both good friends of mine and she trusts more in my judgment than most of our other friends, so I don't really know what to say.

Don't say anything. They're both friends. Don't get involved.

 

[Anubis]

My name Paul, and that s**t between Ya'll.

 

[Harlekin]

Also, talking about other girls isn't disrespectful.

 

[SpideyVille]

I think it might be a little too late for that. I spent most of the night and this morning listening to her tell me about a convo they had where she finally got him to confess what else he lied about, and how he had sex with the same girl that he kissed while they were dating and some other stuff. She said she came to me because she knows I'm good with advice when it comes to knowing what the right thing to do is, and not necessarily being influenced by others. She also told her boyfriend to talk to me, and hes been asking for advice.

It's so weird giving out advice, given that I've never been in my own relationship. And I think she is going to break up with him for now, which is also weird because I don't really know what to tell him or how he can make things better. But the one thing I'm trying not to do is take sides, and I just hope that I can help them do what's best for themselves and each other and hopefully things will work out in the end.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I think all y'all here need to focus on just relaxing and not having all these intense and off putting discussions with women. When I talk to a girl it's all about her and I, and mostly about her. I just smile and really don't say much about myself unless I'm asked, but if I brag it's to guys. I just joke around, smile, laugh and make sure no matter what our "status" is that they have a good time when they're around me. That and I'm a good listener and make lots of deep eye contact. I always smile when they do. Let them know I'm physically comfortable in my own skin. That's all you need to do. No need to barometer whether the situation is right or they're doing fine? Not your problem.


Don't bring up scars or try to make them feel guilty about their problems. Encourage them to solve their own damn problems. Act like you don't care about all that. Who gives a f*** about her ex or this guy who is trying to get in her pants, and she's leading him on but guess what, probably nothing is happening. Don't pay attention to that. It's all a smoke screen. She's trying to see if you'll tolerate her sh** and still try to make the best of it and have a good time.

 

[Godzilla2000]

http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/empathy-secret-sauce-happy-marriage-044200327.html

 

[Erzengel]

I think it might be a little too late for that. I spent most of the night and this morning listening to her tell me about a convo they had where she finally got him to confess what else he lied about, and how he had sex with the same girl that he kissed while they were dating and some other stuff. She said she came to me because she knows I'm good with advice when it comes to knowing what the right thing to do is, and not necessarily being influenced by others. She also told her boyfriend to talk to me, and hes been asking for advice.

It's so weird giving out advice, given that I've never been in my own relationship. And I think she is going to break up with him for now, which is also weird because I don't really know what to tell him or how he can make things better. But the one thing I'm trying not to do is take sides, and I just hope that I can help them do what's best for themselves and each other and hopefully things will work out in the end.

Do you hang out with both of these people? Are they both really friends?

Hate to say it, but if they do break up, would one be okay if you hang out with the other?

 

[SpideyVille]

Do you hang out with both of these people? Are they both really friends?

Hate to say it, but if they do break up, would one be okay if you hang out with the other?

They're probably two of my closest friends since we were all part of the same theater club last semester. Her boyfriend is actually the one who cast me as the lead in the show he directed a few months ago, so I think for that, I'm closer to him and would most likely hang out with him more, but his girlfriend wouldn't really mind since I'd only see her at school and I graduated so I won't be around as much unless its for a club event or something.

But they did break up yesterday. Talking to her afterward, it didn't seem like she wanted to but felt like she had to. Things don't seem like they're going to be too awkward based on how she said she still wanted to be friends, but let's see how things go once the summer ends and everyone has to see each other at school.

 

[terry78]

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

And men do?

Yes

Not to start an argument of sexes, but I feel that men are a lot more honest and straight forward about what they want than women are.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I've been dressing in more designer label stuff, and honestly, that's been working out very nicely.

 

[Anita18]

http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/empathy-secret-sauce-happy-marriage-044200327.html

Um, duh?

Do you hang out with both of these people? Are they both really friends?

Hate to say it, but if they do break up, would one be okay if you hang out with the other?

When my first bf and I broke up, I was already pretty good friends with one of his old friends from high school. She said if I was gonna bring drama to the whole thing, she was gonna have to side with him because of their history.

I assured her I would do no such thing, and as it turns out, we talk way more with each other than either of us with him now.

I've been dressing in more designer label stuff, and honestly, that's been working out very nicely.

I will say that my fiance got into a tailored suit for a friend's wedding yesterday and I wanted to jump his bones all night.