The Last Crusade of Relationships

[Lily Adler]

They could be exhibitionists looking for a thrill.

 

[WillardNation]

A friend of mine told me the other day how my best friend texted a mutual male friend of theirs a nude pic of herself and how he texted it to my friend, who is a chick. I just don't really understand why people do things like that.

Um, cuz it's hot?

Really though, I've sent some body/dick pics and received some tit pics in return but the rule is always never include your face. If they send or show some pics of just a body, it's pretty easy for her to deny the fact that it's hers. Personally, if someone wants to see a naked picture of me, all they have to do is ask. t: (And be female.)

 

[Anita18]

eh, i look at that more as a way of weeding out the superficial *****es. if you can't recognize a contractual agreement as simply that just because of the name attached to it then...i don't even know. and divorce is free-ish to active duty military and their spouses, the only thing i'm really concerned about would be the long-term financial consequences of a divorce. i can get a prenup that takes alimony and dividing property/wealth in half (but i need to check into how the states involved laws would play into that too) but i don't know how it would affect my credit score, taxes, etc.

Er, not really. Superficial means expecting people to earn a certain amount of money or to look like Brad Pitt before they'll take a second look at you. If you say you're married to someone as a contractual obligation, they could also very well assume that you want an excuse to cheat on your wife.

That's the thing about marriage. It's a contract but it also assumes that you'll be having sexual relations (and have serious emotional attachments) with the other party.

Where I work, you can apply for benefits for your domestic partner, which is obviously for gay people who can't get married. Straight couples can apply too, but you have to prove that you've been living together for the past 6 months and intend on continuing to live together, etc etc.

Another thing to consider is how long would you need to be married to your friend for her to have benefits? Is her ailment chronic? Will she ever be able to find work that provides health insurance, ever?

Cause if the answer is no, I don't think you'll be able to divorce her without her losing benefits. But hope is not lost even if that's the case, there's always AshleyMadison.com.

 

[The Apocalypse]

Um, cuz it's hot?

Really though, I've sent some body/dick pics and received some tit pics in return but the rule is always never include your face. If they send or show some pics of just a body, it's pretty easy for her to deny the fact that it's hers. Personally, if someone wants to see a naked picture of me, all they have to do is ask. t: (And be female.)

I don't know why I used that smiley. But yeah, I know a lot of people who have done this. It's not really something I'm into but I know if I got pics from a woman I wouldn't go sending it to my friends. I'd probably show them in person but spreading stuff like that could get yourself into trouble.

 

[SpideyVille]

The only real reason that I've heard that makes sense is that people want to know what they're signing up for before deciding to get involved with a person. Though ironically, I mostly hear of cases where its the girl that does the sending and not the guy.

 

[Anita18]

The only real reason that I've heard that makes sense is that people want to know what they're signing up for before deciding to get involved with a person. Though ironically, I mostly hear of cases where its the girl that does the sending and not the guy.

There's a much more classy way to find out - invite them to a party at a beach.

 

[BrollySupersj]

A friend of mine told me the other day how my best friend texted a mutual male friend of theirs a nude pic of herself and how he texted it to my friend, who is a chick. I just don't really understand why people do things like that.

When that happens with my lady friends. I say..."WHY NOT ME?"

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I know I read too much into it and some of my friends didn't help since they seemed to think the same. It's one reason why I hate Facebook, each person takes it differently. Personally, I don't but I never know with most other people.

As far as my planning, it's just in my nature to plan things ahead. Like I know everything I'm going to eat for lunch this week, it's just what I do. I thought I'd invite her to hang out with our 2 friends during which I ask her to hang out, not as a "let's get serious" type of thing, just "let's hang out just us." If it doesn't happen as I plan, I'll figure something out. As for your questions, she does have off the same week as me (checked with someone I know who goes there). She drinks but not excessively which I have no problem with, it's the going out and getting so drunk you black out that I can't stand (as people here do).

I explained this situation pretty horribly. This is just someone I was interested in high school but never had the courage to ask out. I'd at least like to get to know her better and see if it does lead anywhere since I'm no longer afraid if that happens. I sound much more sane when I put it that way that is really how I view this.

Using this language, you're still not asking her out, friends hang out, ask her to go out, have a place in mind that you want to go and ask her to go there with you. You seem to want to get to be her friend, then see if you can develop things from there, which is a huge mistake. You always let the friendship grow from the relationship. Letting a relationship grow from a friendship, more often than not, just doesn't happen, your plan right now is to put yourself in the friendzone.

 

[DV8]

I'm notorious for sending photos of my weiner . . . it's mostly just because it's absolutely hilarious to me . . . I call it dickbombing . . . sometimes I will photoshop features on my wang; like capes and hats and such; it's a fun game Lol . . . a lot of my female friends will explain that they were doing something very mundane like standing in line at the grocery store when they get the photo in their phone LOL LOL

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Using this language, you're still not asking her out, friends hang out, ask her to go out, have a place in mind that you want to go and ask her to go there with you. You seem to want to get to be her friend, then see if you can develop things from there, which is a huge mistake. You always let the friendship grow from the relationship. Letting a relationship grow from a friendship, more often than not, just doesn't happen, your plan right now is to put yourself in the friendzone.

I don't think it matters what you ask them to do. I ask girls to "hang out", I think I even use those words, but they are aware of my general intentions. See the underlying problem here is friends do all the things non friends do, and to some "hanging out" will consistute a date, and certainly can result in a hook up, but they don't see the person they're hanging out with as sexually unappealling. In other words there has to be something letting them know that "hanging out" means "I'm gonna make a move" or "I wish for this to result in something somewhere down the line".

 

[SuperMike335!!]

I'm notorious for sending photos of my weiner . . . it's mostly just because it's absolutely hilarious to me . . .

Can a mod check our IP adresses?

I'm concered we might be same person.

 

[DV8]

Can a mod check our IP adresses?

I'm concered we might be same person.

I've been sayin this for weeks bro Lol

 

[The Squirrel]

So I've been talking with this girl online. Sent a few messages back and forth, she seems like a cool person. She says she's moving to my town in a few months, I ask her if she's willing to meet when she does. She said yes. My question is, I don't really know what to do now. Do I keep sending messages, or just wait until she moves down here?

 

[bullets]

I'm notorious for sending photos of my weiner . . . it's mostly just because it's absolutely hilarious to me . . . I call it dickbombing . . . sometimes I will photoshop features on my wang; like capes and hats and such; it's a fun game Lol . . . a lot of my female friends will explain that they were doing something very mundane like standing in line at the grocery store when they get the photo in their phone LOL LOL

As soon as I get a number I take a dickpic and send it to the girl while she's walking away. Then when she turns around I wink at her.

 

[SpideyVille]

So I've been talking with this girl online. Sent a few messages back and forth, she seems like a cool person. She says she's moving to my town in a few months, I ask her if she's willing to meet when she does. She said yes. My question is, I don't really know what to do now. Do I keep sending messages, or just wait until she moves down here?

What have the messages been like exactly? I mean I would continue to stay in touch and get to know them, especially since she won't be around for another few months. Unless that's not really your intention.

 

[Erzengel]

If you are texting, have you talked over the phone yet? Yes. Continue talking. No. Why haven't you started talking?

 

[Dark Raven]

So I've been talking with this girl online. Sent a few messages back and forth, she seems like a cool person. She says she's moving to my town in a few months, I ask her if she's willing to meet when she does. She said yes. My question is, I don't really know what to do now. Do I keep sending messages, or just wait until she moves down here?

If you stop messaging her now, it will just seem as if you were trying to find out whether she wanted to try to meet up with you when she arrived in town and now that you know, you'll be avoiding her in future (and from now on).

So I say just keep messaging back and forth but keep it casual and light.

 

[The Squirrel]

Yeah, sometimes you just need to read other people tell you what you were already thinking.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

In terms of the "hang out" language, I think I agree with the mindset that it's not the language, but the meaning.

When I asked out this girl I am seeing now (yes I said "go out"), she ended up using the term "hang out" about us going out. My friends laughed at me when I asked if that meant she was looking at me in the friend zone.

Result?

We've been going out for a couple weeks now, were both talking in terms of a relationship, and both are ready to advance it to the next level.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

So I've been talking with this girl online. Sent a few messages back and forth, she seems like a cool person. She says she's moving to my town in a few months, I ask her if she's willing to meet when she does. She said yes. My question is, I don't really know what to do now. Do I keep sending messages, or just wait until she moves down here?

Few months, tough one. That "yes" she gave is going to be pretty non committal, because so much can change between then and now (that'd still be true if she was moving in town tomorrowt. Whatever you do from hence forward don't bring up "hanging out", it'll make you seem desperate. If she brings it up, act like you're still game for it but don't sound overly enthusiastic. I'd even consider blowing her off the first time she comes into town if she makes serious plans with you, just to demonstrate you have other things going on.

For me, this is sort of an impass. I just wouldn't waste your time with someone who currently has no reasonable means of seeing you in person. She will undoubtably be apprehensive about your first meeting because you're a completely stranger essentially. So you'll only arose those apprehensions more if you continually harp on hanging out. She'll begin to wonder why you want to hang out so bad with someone you really don't know. That can come off as anything from sketchy to pathetic.

Your options are not "never message her", but keep them sporatic, and just enough to let her know you're mildly interested but not hung up on her.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

In terms of the "hang out" language, I think I agree with the mindset that it's not the language, but the meaning.

I hang with a lot of DJs, stoners and general party people, and I also hang out with the gym crowd too. There is a pretty great disparity between the lingo.

I find if someone has a tight schedule, like if they're a career woman or a serious student, they're a lot more prone to respond to blunt requests. Things they can say definitive "yes" or "nos" to. Using words like "date", "f***", "right now" feed more into their lifestyle. The big thing with them is try not to waste their time when you talk to them.

If a girl is more relaxed, like a non serious student or [some] bartenders, they'll be more willing to take the "hang out see where it goes approach" because they have more free time. They aren't wasting it by spending it chilling with some dude and his homies.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I dunno, with this girl im seeing, "hang out" just happened to be the wording she used. There was no deep, secret hidden meaning behind any of it.

But that's one thing that's great with this girl. Everything is face value. There's no dancing around with making sure I word everything just right. She knows im interested, I know she's interested, we both get along wonderfully. There's nerves because both of us are relatively inexperienced, as well as just the natural nerves of getting to know and like someone, but there is literally no game playing between us.

everything is so honest between us. Were both interested, and were honest and upfront about it. If we don't talk for a day, there's no "omg what's going on?????", and she's dropping what she's doing at nearly the drop of a hat anytime i start talking about us doing something.

Its the build towards a relationship the way I've always wanted it to be, but everyone convinced me didn't exist. Its not storybook or movie screen romantic, its just a natural "were both interested so lets do something about it" instead of playing stupid hard to get, not too easy, make sure i word everything just right games.

And that's probably why its working out so well for me, because im not good at "the game", but there's no game to play with her. I just get to be me, she just gets to be her, and we dig each other because of it.

 

[Erzengel]

I'm glad things are finally working out for you Nell.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I dunno, with this girl im seeing, "hang out" just happened to be the wording she used. There was no deep, secret hidden meaning behind any of it.

I never implied it had a "secret meaning", just that it's important to understand that their given situation will definitely influence your approach. I notice a lot of AmazingFantasy's advice, for example, seems to be very structured. AF has talked about being very active in clubs and groups meaning his life is also very structured. On top of it, he chose the much more structured world of online dating.

I see from SuperMike's pictures he's a very strong individual, very well trained, and very physical. Probably follows a strict diet, so his free time is few and far between. In fact most of the time he's probably following a diet schedule that requires him to eat once every few hours. This'll also mean for him that he needs to place a lot of emphasis on himself since his training requires him to be hyper vigilante about his time and what he does with it. I see a lot of pushiness about sex in his advice, which makes sense. Farting around with someone for weeks and weeks while they make up their minds would drive someone in that situation nuts quickly.

There are a lot of little signals that are very telling about people. Prime example, if a girl is training more often or more intensely than usual, she's almost always looking to f*** someone different, even if she has a boyfriend. People don't drastically attempt to alter their appearance idly and while it may not be a "in" so to speak, it's a strong sign that person is looking.

What I find most in this thread is damage control. Someone shares a story and we tell them what their new course of action should be after the fact. Really though what I think most posters who post stories need to work on is not picking up on the signals, but responding to them.

 

[DV8]

As soon as I get a number I take a dickpic and send it to the girl while she's walking away. Then when she turns around I wink at her.

LOL! the joys of technology . . .