The Temple of Doomed Relationships

[hopefuldreamer]

Thanks for the helpful advice, but I don't know whether to giggle or give you the tilted head "are you doing okay" look at the bolded part.

Maybe a bit of both

As for my guy, we went on our first date. I thought he wanted to go out for dinner, but then he surprised me by wanting to make us dinner. I thought "aw, that's sweet" but after a few minutes of looking a little clueless in the kitchen I decided to help him. We made an Italian dinner with tortellini. He brought a bottle of sparkling cider and we just talked most of the time. He said he likes me cause I challenge him. We sometimes argue over legal cases. I think he disagrees with me just to make me mad.

After dinner, I wanted to go out to a nearby park and walk around for a bit. He tried to be all gentleman-like and said he would "escort" me. I thought it was lame and we just laughed. So we're walking and holding hands and I asked him if you see this going anywhere. He says he would like it to go somewhere. And I tell him I would like to take things slow. He says he understands and just looks at me like he's going to kiss me. That's when he leans, I stop him. I didn't want a kiss just yet.

We sit down at a bench and we talk more about past relationships. He tells me his wife was his first love and they got married when he was only 19. They grew apart. I didn't know what to say, so I said "well that sucks." At first I thought he was going to be angry or hurt by it, but then he looked at me and he just started laughing about it and agreeing that yeah it sucked.

He walks me back to my place and he tries to kiss me again, I don't let him. Instead, I know I stole this from HIMYM, I did the whole lead up to the kiss thing. We didn't kiss but we settled on a hug that lasted a little longer than expected and said good night. He wants to spend Valentine's Day with me.

He sounds really really nice

I'd definitely give the guy a chance and go out on valentine's. I mean, do you usually go for older guys? He sounds like just me type but is he your type? Do you feel that spark?

P.S. I did the lead up to the kiss thing years before it ever aired on HIMYM. This really really hot guy was hitting on me and trying to cheer me up after i'd had a fight with my ex. And he kept asking if he could kiss me, but I insisted the best we could do was 'almost' kiss... and it totally does work. It's exciting, it makes everything really heightened doesn't it?

 

[BrollySupersj]

I feel you. V-Day, known as D-Day for single people is coming up is not putting me in a good mood.

I had a girlfriend (previously love of my life) on V-Day for two years straight. It was nice knowing I could share that day with someone, finally.

But, those days are dead and buried now. I too now join the legions of single people who are have to look at all the happy couples and their stupid ass presents and dumb chocolate gifts every. single. place. I. go.

*eyes turn green, hair flashes gold*

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Hopeful,

I gave a woman a box of candy or something on V-Day in 2008 at Walmart...got her number, but it was sadly downhill. and as much as I hate to admit it, I love her...but it's never going to work out or happen.

I think I'll write a poem or song about my feelings. Got me a new notebook. Mostly will be used for Pagan poems, poetry, songs, but I'll write other poems and what not in there. Last night or early this morning I wrote a song about my self injury problems. Instead of hurting myself, I wrote a song instead. I can thank my Paganism for that, cause...well, I just like to write now since I've been a Pagan.

Poetry is a great way of letting out emotions in a non destructive way, and something I have done myself since I was a teenager.

I spent time considering myself Wiccan at that age too, but there's not much I believe in any more. I guess i've just grown into a complete skeptic.

Tell us more about this girl you love, and why it won't ever happen

 

[SuperFerret]

How many dates until it's a relationship? I'm kind of past the age of "going steady". I know it probably varies, but I'm asking an average.

 

[LOBO3315a]

Double Digits. If you've gone on 10 dates, you are in a relationship.

 

[Lily Adler]

He sounds really really nice

He really is I just hope he's not one of those guys who act really nice but they're total d-bags underneath. I didn't get that vibe, but what do I know.

I'd definitely give the guy a chance and go out on valentine's. I mean, do you usually go for older guys? He sounds like just me type but is he your type? Do you feel that spark?

If you want him, you'll have to get through me first.

No, not really. I only had the occasional school girl crush at the hot male teacher. He's funny, fun and cute. I want to say yes and I feel a spark whenever we touch. When we were holding hands, hugging, the 'almost-kiss'. I'm actually pretty excited for Valentine's Day.

P.S. I did the lead up to the kiss thing years before it ever aired on HIMYM. This really really hot guy was hitting on me and trying to cheer me up after i'd had a fight with my ex. And he kept asking if he could kiss me, but I insisted the best we could do was 'almost' kiss... and it totally does work. It's exciting, it makes everything really heightened doesn't it?

Yes it does. I guess I would have to thank it for the lingering hug.

 

[SpideyInATree]

Double Digits. If you've gone on 10 dates, you are in a relationship.

Yeah but it depends on how the dates are going too. If you are both really having a good time with each other it could be like 3 or 4 dates and it's considered a relationship. It's all about the chemistry.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I haven't even been real worried about valentines day. I've been upset about some other stuff (non romantic) and went out last night, and was hoping to talk to this girl I've been trying to talk to, and a friend of mine went out of her way to make sure I didn't, and then we went off and had a conversation that didn't make me feel very good about any prospects I may or may not have. Last night just ended up not being a good night, capping off what hasn't been a happy month or so.

 

[Erzengel]

What did your friend tell you?

 

[enterthemadness]

Um, she was basically a no-body on the indie circuit. The ex female wrestler that is.

As for the woman who broke my heart? Well...I honestly don't wanna talk about it right now.

 

[SpideyInATree]

Um, she was basically a no-body on the indie circuit. The ex female wrestler that is.

As for the woman who broke my heart? Well...I honestly don't wanna talk about it right now.

I see. Was she hot at least?

 

[enterthemadness]

I see. Was she hot at least?

No. She was okay. I think she put on a bit of weight. I have been in a session with a hot female wrestler though. Another no-body on the indie circuit, but...well known in the fetish industry.

 

[knowsbleed]

Why can't I get a white woman?

 

[Anubis]

Cuz you're ugly.

 

[enterthemadness]

Why can't I get a white woman?

Your Nose Bleeds?

 

[knowsbleed]

Don't opposites attract?

 

[enterthemadness]

Don't opposites attract?

Only on full moons and the rare blue moon...

 

[knowsbleed]

I am the master of doomed relationships. It's just something I'm good at being bad at. I take pride in it.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

What did your friend tell you?

I walked up by where the girl I was trying to talk to was sitting, talking with some friends. I walked up, and started trying to talk to her (we had kind of been talking throughout the night, but both of us were really hanging with different people in our group. But throughout the night we'd been playful and teasing together, coming off a night before where I bought her a drink at dinner and was trying to set up plans for her and I in the future - plans that at least verbally, in the moment, she agreed to - plans like me taking her to dinner at a restaurant she said she'd never been to and wanted to go to)

So anyways, I go up to talk to her, and my friend comes by and pulls me away and starts dancing with me. I don't really pay any mind to it, more than anything, I'm out to have a good time, so I'm having a good time dancing with my friend. Then she tells me "Stop cock blocking", and I'm kind of caught off guard by this, and I'm like "Huh?" She tells me to keep dancing, then tells me again to quit cock blocking. And I tell her I don't know what she's talking about. Then she starts asking me what girls I like. I told her that I kind of liked the girl that apparently I was cock blocking, and my friend and I went off somewhere else, and she told me that basically, when I walked up to the girl to try to talk to her, apparently there was another guy in the group that she was talking to, so my friend pulled me away so this girl could talk to this other guy that she was interested in.

Then she goes on to tell me about how I'm pretty much not going to find what I'm looking for in the department, amongst the group of people I'm with, and more likely than not, not going to find it in college period. She said it in a way that was the best of intentions, but it just really hit home that there really isn't much of anything out there for me in my current position.

On top of everything else that's been bothering me, the way last night went down has just been really bothering me today. Maybe it shouldn't, I don't know, but it's not doing my confidence any favors when I basically have a good friend of mine pulling me aside and telling me I'm -not- going to find what I'm looking for.

 

[Erzengel]

When I was in college, I had a part time job. At this job there were a lot of people that were near my age, some I really started to have feelings for. We went out, did stuff together, but it never went past "being friends". It almost became a habit of me scoping out the new employees for potential people to date. I had success after I started looking elsewhere to date.

Don't get me wrong, college is a great place to meet people, but it just seems like you move from girl to girl in the Theater department. I think your friend may have a point. Maybe it's time to look outside of the Theater department. Maybe you should also look outside of college as well.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Eh, I've only gone after a couple girls in the department.

But as far as meeting people outside of college - that's really the only place I have to meet people. I don't really have time to do much social stuff outside of my college atmosphere, and even when I do, women my age don't exist in my town, and when they do, they're already married with kids.

Women don't stay unmarried much past their early 20's out here.

And about my friend, I do know that she was only looking out for me with her remarks, I know it was with the best of intentions. I'm not upset with her at all, moreso the truth and reality of everything she said.

 

[Erzengel]

I know you brought up several girls on here, not sure if they were all Theater department girls or just school in general.

It's tough, you're a little older than the average college student and most of them are looking to just have fun and to let loose in college. You seem to be looking for a serious relationship.

I guess my point is, it's been a couple of years of trying to meet girls at school, maybe you should try other avenues such as online.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Yea most of 'em have just been school in general, although I guess that's essentially semantics.

And my friend mentioned that, she's basically "I think what you want is a girl that wants to be with you for you, and not just someone who says 'well I have nothing better to do, I'll date him'" (which is true), and then went on to tell me that the girl I had my eye on, while she's a good girl and all that, she did the whole "serious relationship" thing already at a real young age, and now she just wants someone she can just have fun with. That's when she started telling me that what I'm looking for isn't here.

It was just kind of a pile up on top of everything else that's been going on lately, and things that are happening in the near future, and all of it altogether just has me kinda upset at it all.

 

[Erzengel]

People do meet long time significant others at school. It is possible. But I remember how many "couples" in high school broke up before going to college so they could have fun. You're looking for a relationship and I'm sure that cuts your selections in school by at least half.

 

[bullets]

I started seeing a girl on POF and already it's been implied she wants me to delete my profile. I feel like it's too soon. She's kind of limited with time because of school and being a single mom. So it's moving kind of slow and I still feel single. I told her I like to read the forums and that I deleted my other profiles on okcupid and match . She's also said she's done with online dating and deleted her account.