What do you think ... ghost rider -isms instead of Chuck Norris

[GDM]

Ghost Rider will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
People created the automobile to escape from the Ghost Rider...Not to be outdone, the Ghost Rider created the automobile accident.

LOL!! These are so funny!! Way to go pal. Keep them up.

 

[Canadian Rider]

Thanks GDM ... A little smile for everybody !! Thanks to WiscoD for the idea ... my contribution for the countdown! 65 to go!

The source of Ghost Riders' power remains a mystery to the scientific community. They do know that it isn't genetic mutation, spider bites, radioactive waste, or even spinach.

 

[Canadian Rider]

Ghost Rider caused the 80's band Genesis to break up. Not because of artistic differences, but because Ghost Rider demanded that one member of the band follow him around at all times to perform live theme music for his daily life. Also, all chain attacks to the face are emphasized with an emphatic "SSussudiO!!!!" Meanwhile, Peter Gabriel croons the Ghost Rider and Roxanne to Ghost Rider's personal love-making tune, "Sledgehammer".

 

[Canadian Rider]

Ghost Rider doesn't use a remote. He scares the TV into changing the channel.

 

[zer00]

What we know as the wind is actually Ghost Rider breathing. The speed and intensity fluctuates according to his activity.

If a gay man inhales Ghost Rider's fire he turns straight and gains the power to build a log cabin without using tools.

 

[Canadian Rider]

If you say "candyman" 5 times in the mirror, Ghost Rider will suddenly appear. No one is more terrifying than Ghost Rider.

 

[zer00]

Contrary to popular belief, Ghost Rider is not the heartless killing machine he's made out to be. Twice a week he performs Metallica covers on his one man band stand for dying cancer patients. As a result, cancer has taken a back seat in national death rates to "rocking the **** out with Ghost Rider."

 

[Canadian Rider]

Every year one million people get the privilege of dying from traffic fatalities rather than from the hands of the Ghost Rider.

 

[Canadian Rider]

Ghost Rider doesn't use a preist to exorcise his demons. He swallows his fist and beats the demon out of him.

 

[Canadian Rider]

They say MacGyver can make anything out of paperclips and string using only his hands. Well, Ghost Rider can make anything out of MacGyver using only his fists.

 

[zer00]

Ghost Rider was inspiration for all the characters in all of the Mortal Kombat games. Yes, even the female characters. But Ghost Rider did not use a knife on a rope as Scorpion does to do his "get over here!" attack, GR of course used his penis.

 

[Katsuro]

I'm offended that the thread title says "instead of Chuck Norris". It's Vin Diesel, dammit. These jokes started with Vin Diesel, and Chuck Norris facts have never been anything more than a lame knockoff. Practically every Chuck Norris, Mr. T, Jack Bauer, and now Ghost Rider fact you've heard was just a Vin Diesel one with the name changed. And they're 1000 times better because not all of them are based around Vin Diesel being a tough badass. Some of them make him look like a total fool, or are completely random.

Contrary to popular belief, Saving Private Ryan was not the first time Vin Diesel worked with Steven Spielberg. He was in Jaws, he played the Ocean.

 

[WiscoD]

I'm offended that the thread title says "instead of Chuck Norris". It's Vin Diesel, dammit. These jokes started with Vin Diesel, and Chuck Norris facts have never been anything more than a lame knockoff. Practically every Chuck Norris, Mr. T, Jack Bauer, and now Ghost Rider fact you've heard was just a Vin Diesel one with the name changed. And they're 1000 times better because not all of them are based around Vin Diesel being a tough badass. Some of them make him look like a total fool, or are completely random.

Contrary to popular belief, Saving Private Ryan was not the first time Vin Diesel worked with Steven Spielberg. He was in Jaws, he played the Ocean.

Offended??? Well if you like Vinnie soo much why dont you marry him!!!! lol.....

 

[Mr Nick]

I'm offended that the thread title says "instead of Chuck Norris". It's Vin Diesel, dammit. These jokes started with Vin Diesel

I was not aware of that.

 

[Canadian Rider]

Well. Now we know. And knowing is half the battle.

The key thing is to substitute GR for whomever the fact is using to begin with.

Try and enjoy the humour anyways!

 

[Canadian Rider]

Ghost Rider once got caught doing 100 in a 50 zone. The cop did give him a speeding ticket, however GR still pleads his innocence to this day, stating that he was simply out for a morning jog.

 

[GDM]

I'm offended that the thread title says "instead of Chuck Norris". It's Vin Diesel, dammit. These jokes started with Vin Diesel, and Chuck Norris facts have never been anything more than a lame knockoff. Practically every Chuck Norris, Mr. T, Jack Bauer, and now Ghost Rider fact you've heard was just a Vin Diesel one with the name changed. And they're 1000 times better because not all of them are based around Vin Diesel being a tough badass. Some of them make him look like a total fool, or are completely random.

Contrary to popular belief, Saving Private Ryan was not the first time Vin Diesel worked with Steven Spielberg. He was in Jaws, he played the Ocean.

Where can I find this Vin Diesel jokes?

 

[Canadian Rider]

Google Vin Diesel or Chuck Norris Fact.

4CQ (I think it is anyways) has random fact generators.

The key is finding ones that tie into the GR in some way because they are so much funnier that way.

He He He ... Love the Caption thread too ... you GR boys make me smile!

 

[Katsuro]

Well now that I've corrected the little bit of misinformation, I feel i can contribute to this threads original purpose:

Jerry Bruckhiemer's next show, CSI: Ghost Rider, is expected to contain ten times more violence than his video of the time he raped Medusa.

edit, also the website for Vin diesel facts is 4q.cc/vin (get it, 4Q, say it out loud)

 

[Canadian Rider]

The dodo bird got it's name when it attempted to cross Ghost Rider. That is also how it became extinct.

 

[Canadian Rider]

When Pandora opened her box, death, pain, sickness, etc. all broke free. Shortly after this, the gods combined them into one being. Today this being is called the Ghost Rider.

 

[Canadian Rider]

We may never know how many licks it takes to get the center of a tootsie pop, but we do know it takes only one Ghost Rider punch to smash your skull into hundreds of pieces.

 

[Canadian Rider]

Lads -- shall I keep going? Curious if any of the GR faithful are enjoying this or is it just me?

 

[anduin2000]

Both Lee Harvey Oswald and Ghost Rider killed JFK. Oswald fired Ghost Rider out of his rifle. Ghost Rider penetrated JFK's head then exploded.

 

[Darkest Knight]

I've heard some of these before, due to the Chuck Norris stuff, but they are all hilarious. Some are original.