What is the best Chuck Norris fact??

Discussion in 'SHH Community Forum' started by Batman333, May 6, 2006.

  1. Batman333 Registered

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    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
     
  2. Mentok Registered

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    Chuck Norris sucks more than anything ever :up:
     
  3. black_dust FrEaK-A-ZoId!!!

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    Chuck Norris had sex with your mother
     
  4. Knightsaber Priss Lone Wolf

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    This one happens to be my all time favorite. I guess it's funnier for me if I picture this guy:

    [​IMG]
     
  5. JLBats The boney king of nowhere

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    Chuck Norris doesn't spread herpes. Herpes spread Chuck Norris.
     
  6. Master Chief ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

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    If Jack Bauer were gay his name would be Chuck Norris.
     
  7. Socrates Registered

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    Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb?

    A: None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.
     
  8. The Chairman Pimps' Main Prophet

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    Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
     
  9. hippie_hunter The King is Back!

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  10. user123456789 Registered

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    horrible :down
     
  11. Outsiderzedge Registered

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  12. Strange Registered

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    Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse, horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
     
  13. Underoath Registered

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    When Chuck Norris does a push up, he is not pushing himself up, but instead pushing the earth down.
     
  14. Dr. MIX Registered

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    Jack Bauer named his cat 'Chuck Norris'. Why? Because he's a *****.
     
  15. kypade Registered

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    Indeed.

    More:

    Chuck Norris is a closet homosexual.

    Chuck Norris thinks the opening poster (and everyone who responed to him with any level of sincirity is mentally ******ed.

    Chuck Norris smells like garbage.

    **** Chuck Norsucks.

    Srsly, I can't stand the man or his stupid website. (He started that site, btw). :o
     
  16. Leto Atrides Guest

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    I never liked the Jack Bauer facts. The point of the Vin Diesel, then Chuck Norris facts is that the guys aren't cool at all, and the whole thing is supposed to be ironic. Jack Bauer is reasonably cool, so it's not the same.
     
  17. user123456789 Registered

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    what website?
     
  18. Wilhelm-Scream Registered

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    This one kicks ass on all the others.


    When you think of Chuck Norris, you either immediately think action movie star (recalling his numerous feature films) or television star, for his long-running CBS television series, "Walker, Texas Ranger."

    But prior to that, Chuck was a martial arts star, winning many martial arts championships including being a six-time undefeated World Professional MiddleWeight Karate Champion. Chuck was also a renowned teacher in the martial arts. Some of his students were Steve McQueen, Bob Barker, Priscilla Presley and Donnie & Marie Osmond.

    From 1964 to 1968, Chuck won many State, National, and International amateur karate titles. In 1968, Chuck fought and won the World Professional MiddleWeight Karate championships by defeating the World's Top Fighters. He held that title until 1974 when he retired undefeated.

    In 1968, Chuck was inducted into the Black Belt Hall of Fame as Fighter of the Year. In 1975, he was inducted as Instructor of the Year and in 1977, Chuck received the honor of Man of the Year.

    Chuck is also founder and President of United Fighting Arts Federation with over 2,300 black belts all over the world.

    In 1997, Chuck achieved another milestone in his life by being the first man ever in the Western Hemisphere to be awarded an 8th degree Black Belt Grand Master recognition in the Tae Kwon Do system. This was a first in 4,500 years of tradition.

    Chuck's intense drive and determination extended beyond his martial arts and acting career. He became an offshore powerboat racer with speeds of 140 miles per hour. In 1991, Chuck with his team and sponsor "Popeye Chicken" won the World Off Shore Powerboat championships. Then he went on to setting a new world record by racing a 38 foot Scarab boat 605 miles across the Great Lakes, from Chicago to Detroit, in 12 hours and 8 minutes.

    In 1988, Chuck wrote his autobiography, "The Secret of Inner Strength", for Little Brown Publishing, which became a New York Times Best Seller. He followed up a few years later with a second book, "The Secret Power Within: Zen Solutions to Real Problems", also with Little Brown Publishing.

    Chuck was asked how he would like to be remembered. Chuck's answer was as a Humanitarian. He has gotten a good start by:

    1.) Being the spokesperson for United Way, doing an eight-minute commercial, which helped bring in over two billion dollars.

    2.) Veterans Administration spokesperson visiting over 12 V.A. hospitals and speaking with World War II, Korean and Vietnam War Veterans including one from World War I.

    3.) Winning the 1998 Epiphany award on Walker, Texas Ranger for the best Christian program.

    4.) The Jewish Humanitarian Man of the Year Award.

    5.) Actively involved with the Make A Wish Foundation for 20 years by making dreams come true for terminally ill children.

    6.) BMI Music Television Award for Walker, Texas Ranger theme song, "Eyes of a Ranger".

    7.) Texas Ranger Hall of Fame.

    8.) Commissioned Police Officer for Terrell, Texas.

    9.) Motivational speaker for many Christian ministries, such as T.D. Jakes Ministry, Trinity Broadcasting, and Bill Glass Crusade.

    But Chuck thinks his most rewarding accomplishment was the creation of his Kick-Start Foundation. With the help of President George Bush, Chuck implemented a program teaching the martial arts to 150 high-risk children at M C Williams Middle School in Houston, Texas, as part of the school curriculum. The program was so successful in helping these kids raise their self-esteem and instilling discipline and respect, as well as getting them out of gangs, that the program is now in 30 schools with over 4,200 young boys and girls actively participating.
     
  19. Strange Registered

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    Ha, Bob Barker :up:


    [​IMG]
     
  20. The Last Meatbag Registered

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    Fact: Chuck Norris jokes aren't funny
     
  21. Skullbearer Registered

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    Such truer words have never been said.
     
  22. MaskedManJRK Registered

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    HAPPY: The price is WRONG, b***h!

    *Bob grabs Happy by the throat, continues kicking ass*

    ...Now we need Bob Barker facts. :o
     
  23. jaguarr Be Your Own Hero

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    Chuck Norris does not tea bag the ladies, he potato sacks them.

    jag
     
  24. Batman333 Registered

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    chuck norris haters!!!!
     
  25. Matt IKYN Guy Groupie

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    "If Jack Bauer were gay, his name would be Chuck Norris"
     

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