What is the most awkward/worst thing you've said to the opposite sex?

[Pink Ranger]

He said it while she was fully clothed.

OMG, he got to meet Britney Spears in person!

 

[Spider-Who?]

I seem to have this amazing ability to meet a cute girl, start a conversation, see that it's going well, and then derail it with the most asinine, crazy, awkward things. Or, just even start out horribly awkward.

For instance,

Spoiler

----"It must suck to be an anteater"
"Why?"
"Cause you'd have ants on the brain all the time. That would drive me insane"
"Hahaha"
"Like s**t, wouldn't it tickle? Ants on your brain all the time? I think it would tickle my brain and that'd just drive me nuts."
".......

I'mmmm...gonna go over...there"


---"Do you like aardvarks?"
"What?"
"Do you like aardvarks? Cause you kinda remind me of an aardvark."
"WHAT!!?"
"OH NO!! Noo noo noo I mean...you're cute...like an aardvark...cause they're cute..and you're cute...and...I'm not saying you have a big nose.."
"WHAT?!!? ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF MY NOSE?!?!"
"Noooo noo I'm just saying....you're....cute....and....s**t..."
"I'm very self conscious about my nose you as***le."
"I am soo sorry. Your nose is very cute though! Every thing on your face is cute!"
"OH? So what are you saying?"
"I don't know...I think I've had too much to drink...I'm gonna go away....I'm sorry"

--- (Talking about Boy Meets World)
Her: "People always say I look like Topanga"
"NOOO!! That's nonsense!!! You don't look like Topanga!! She was like....chunky...and looked like a fish. You don't look like a fish she looks....like a fish...you...you're not..fishy...she's......she's kinda..fish....like.....and...you're not....."

---(Talking about squirrels)
Her: "OMG hahaha you're nuts!!!!"
"Maybe that's why they keep coming to my house!"
"HAHAHAHA!!!"
"I wish I had a raccoon though. And a chipmunk. Cause then I could have a traveling band of rodents. I'd call them The Rodents. I could be their manager..I'd be filthy rich."
"........

......

"

--- (At a bar, bartender comes up. She's gorgeous.)
Her: "Hey what can I get you to drink?"
"You're...hi...uh....well, I'll have a....uhhh..uh.....you....you...you're..wow. I would like...what are you called? I...I would like one of those."
"One of what?"
"You. I would like.....you. Whatever drink is you are...I would...I would like that. Can..I have...one? Please?"
"..........

............."
"S**t. Well, I'll have 3 jack and cokes now to forget this moment. Make them double. PLEASE. I am so sorry"

---(At work, cashiering. Cute girl comes up to buy lipgloss, yoga pants, and shampoo. Holy hell she was hot)
"Hi, how are you today?"
"Good! How are you!?"
"Lovely. You're.....uhhhhhhh....sooo that'll be (total). Would you like a bang? A BANG! A BANG! CRAP! NO!! A BAG!! WOULD YOU LIKE A BAG!!!?"
"Hahaa yeahh...yeah I'll take one."
"I am sooo sorry. It must have been a Freudian slit. S**t! SLIP. SLIP!! OH GOD!"
".....

"


So I'm never gonna leave my house ever again. What's the worst you've done?

I don't see how these are bad. In fact, this is the type stuff I do all the time. It's all about being funny and not caring how they might react. I'm sure if you would have "owned" the jokes and not acted embarrassed, the convos would have gone differently. Most likely, it's your sheepishness and apologies that does the worst for you and makes you seem weird. Girls like confidence, and you're acting funny and confident, then all of sudden you're freaking out about what you said. That's far more damaging than any of the things you've "said".

 

[Quasimod0]

No matter how much you own it, "You're cute, like an aardvark", is never going to work out. lol

 

[Slushy]

He said it while she was fully clothed.

Actually, I said it when we were naked right before we did it because I had trouble getting it in. She was just too damn tight or something. We still did it, but I could tell she was mad about what I said.

 

[Quasimod0]

Sounds like a wasted 30 seconds.

 

[knowsbleed]

"Haha... oh, sorry about your hair"

 

[Doctor Evo]

In sixth grade, I was reading The Silence of the Lambs. I had grown accustomed to reading such material (I read Jaws for a book report in fourth grade) and thought nothing of its disturbing nature.

Well, in the book, when Clarice is walking through the hallway to Lecter's cell, one of the inmates comments that her "**** smells nice." That word begins with a "C" and rhymes with "punt." When she arrives at Lecter's cell, he apologizes for that prisoner's behavior and quips that he has an interest in perfumes.

So, being in sixth grade and having never heard that word before, I immediately assumed that **** was another word for perfume.

In class, I noticed that a girl at my table was wearing something like perfume. I wanted to compliment her. The words that came out of my mouth were, "Your **** smells nice." She knew what the word meant.

Still embarrassed to this day.

 

[TinkTonks]

Haha, Doctor Evo!

Best....one.....yet! You win the prize, lol!

 

[Quasimod0]

Lol, that was great!

 

[Pink Ranger]

OMG Evo, that is equally appalling and hilarious.

 

[DarkSovereignty]

In sixth grade, I was reading The Silence of the Lambs. I had grown accustomed to reading such material (I read Jaws for a book report in fourth grade) and thought nothing of its disturbing nature.

Well, in the book, when Clarice is walking through the hallway to Lecter's cell, one of the inmates comments that her "**** smells nice." That word begins with a "C" and rhymes with "punt." When she arrives at Lecter's cell, he apologizes for that prisoner's behavior and quips that he has an interest in perfumes.

So, being in sixth grade and having never heard that word before, I immediately assumed that **** was another word for perfume.

In class, I noticed that a girl at my table was wearing something like perfume. I wanted to compliment her. The words that came out of my mouth were, "Your **** smells nice." She knew what the word meant.

Still embarrassed to this day.

some women just can't take a compliment

 

[nite-owl]

"I'll follow you around with a camera"

 

[Doctor Evo]

Haha, Doctor Evo!

Best....one.....yet! You win the prize, lol!

Lol, that was great!

OMG Evo, that is equally appalling and hilarious.

What was really funny was the look of absolute horror that fell across her face. The girl who was sitting next to her immediately dropped her jaw and said, "Is he talking about your p***y?" (which was kind of hilarious in its own right). I had to frantically explain my mistake and beg them not to tell the teacher, as this was in the middle of class.

 

[bullets]

In sixth grade, I was reading The Silence of the Lambs. I had grown accustomed to reading such material (I read Jaws for a book report in fourth grade) and thought nothing of its disturbing nature.

Well, in the book, when Clarice is walking through the hallway to Lecter's cell, one of the inmates comments that her "**** smells nice." That word begins with a "C" and rhymes with "punt." When she arrives at Lecter's cell, he apologizes for that prisoner's behavior and quips that he has an interest in perfumes.

So, being in sixth grade and having never heard that word before, I immediately assumed that **** was another word for perfume.

In class, I noticed that a girl at my table was wearing something like perfume. I wanted to compliment her. The words that came out of my mouth were, "Your **** smells nice." She knew what the word meant.

Still embarrassed to this day.

Oh man , at least she didn't respond with a "What?!" and have you repeating it for the entire class to hear.

 

[bullets]

I don't know where to begin..


The first time I asked out a girl from my school. She was walking across the street and I called out her name . Unfortunately my voice cracked in the middle of it. My friend scurried behind a bush laughing. I still walked over and asked her out anyway but I was too embarrassed to look at her face. She told me she had a boyfriend.


Another time I had been dating a girl for a month and blurted out "I love you". Almost like a force of habit and we both knew I didn't mean it. However I tried to keep on like I did and it became a small argument. It ended with me saying " I know how I feel" and her saying " Whatever".

 

[Sawyer]

1. There's too many to list.

2. It was probably something sexist.

 

[TheAQU4M4N]

Wow evo that one takes the cake.

 

[Brita21]

This thread is depressing lol. Awkward conversations make for some of the best ones!

 

[terry78]

some women just can't take a compliment

Especially considering how much of a fallacy that phrase is.

 

[Bruce Banner]

(Drunk on St. Patrick's Day, but I was still mad as hell)

"There is a reason why you're a twenty-five-year-old virgin who has never been in a serious relationship."

 

[Aesop Rocks]

"hey, what's up?"

 

[bullets]

(Drunk on St. Patrick's Day, but I was still mad as hell)

"There is a reason why you're a twenty-five-year-old virgin who has never been in a serious relationship."

I've made a few drunk comments I wish I could take back. I don't care to list them here though , lol.

 

[Bruce Banner]

I've made a few drunk comments I wish I could take back. I don't care to list them here though , lol.

Yeah I agree, I try to stay away from people that annoy me when I'm drinking, that time I failed miserably.

 

[Spider-Who?]

No matter how much you own it, "You're cute, like an aardvark", is never going to work out. lol

Hahaha, true. But pretty much everything else could have had different results if he hadn't freaked out.

 

[TheAQU4M4N]

"lets put a smile on that face"