What was the last TERRIBLE movie(s) you saw? - Part 2

Batman V Superman

Apologies to anyone who likes it, I will not haunt your dreams.

 

Edit

 

Ooh, Part 2!

I saw a movie called Everest recently. I'm not sure if it was terrible because I fell asleep just after what I think was the halfway point. What was terrible were the attempts at New Zealand accents. I mean, I guess the majority of the audience aren't going to know the difference if they've even heard the real accent before, but as a native Kiwi it was pretty awful to hear.

The last truly terrible film I saw was Spectre. Good gravy, what a mess. Even without the twist Craig's last Bond movie was a friggin' disaster.

 

The Martian, with Matt Damon as a cool version of himself facing that he's totally alone in a distant planet without food or company and kept being cool and funny about it. And when I say "funny" I mean unfunny.

 

Oh hai Mark.

 

Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice

 

Fixed, thanks.

 

PAN.

Finally saw this thing in its entirety as it was meant to be experienced... on a Transatlantic flight after I'd already watched all the better movies that were available. Holy sh**balls was this thing a turd. You know, I've been posting a lot the past couple weeks about how terrible Batman v. Superman is. So it's just fitting that the film that took BvS's place when it was moved back a year was somehow an even BIGGER clusterf**k of a film, chock full of bad special effects, weak plot points and some cringeworthy (I hate using that word but it's soooooooooooooo appropriate here) acting.

Hugh Jackman should have been an epic Blackbeard, shouldn't he? I mean, look at the guy. He could have been a truly memorable villain. Well, I suppose that's not accurate; he's certainly memorable here... just not for the reasons you'd want him to be. He struts around in about 10 pounds of makeup, occasionally belting out Nirvana lyrics because WHY NOT? IT WORKED IN MOULIN ROUGE, DIDN'T IT? Good God, what an over-the-top, hammy performance. Yet I can't blame Jackman, because damn near EVERYONE in this film delivers an over-the-top, hammy performance. Subtlety doesn't exist to these actors. Did I mention Garrett Hedlund? Let's talk about Garrett Hedlund! My God, did he take this role on just to commit career suicide? Because he seems to think he's playing Indiana Jones if Indiana Jones was a cowardly sh**head who gives up on archeology to be a used car salesman. I've seen Hedlund in quite a few things and I've never thought he was a bad actor; I know a lot of people didn't care for Tron: Legacy but I enjoyed him in it. But here? Someone just feed this guy to a crocodile already. The only explanation I can give for his performance is that somewhere after he got locked into doing this movie, he realized it was a pile of sh** and he just decided to turn in a performance worthy of the worst actor in a middle school play. Every line he spews is so obviously "acted" that you might be tempted to start writing letters to casting directors, pleading with them to never put him in a movie again.

I suppose Rooney Mara and the kid who played Peter (sorry, not going to bother looking up his name) fair a bit better because they're a tad more understated than the rest of the a**holes surrounding them, but that somehow makes it WORSE because they feel like they belong in a different movie. Mara in particular is hard to take serious when she's delivering morose lines about sacred prophesies and lives at stake while she's wearing a tie-dyed Raggedy Ann wig on her head.

But the chief offender here... the architect of all of this bullsh** and the one who deserves the most blame... must be director Joe Wright. Seriously, how do you go from Atonement to this? I saw Hanna. It wasn't spectacular, but it was nowhere near this level of absolute absurdity. I haven't seen Anna Karenina, but I've heard it's good. But PAN? My God, what was he thinking? From the aforementioned Nirvana musical number to the cartoonish CGI Dr. Seuss birds to the cartoonish CGI Peter Pan flying to the stupid costumes and makeup to whitewashing Tiger Lily to inexplicably moving Peter Pan's story forward in time... NOTHING in this movie works. I don't know about you, but I think that the whole "boy who could fly" prophecy would be a lot more effective if everyone didn't have magical SHIP that could inexplicably fly (at first it seems like it has something to do with the sails, but then I guess they abandoned that concept because Hook finds a ship late in the movie that pretty much has no sails at all and gets it to work). I seriously wonder if Wright was drunk when he directed this thing. I see that he has no new projects lined up. GOOD. GO AWAY. NEVER DIRECT ANYTHING AGAIN. I HOPE YOU GO BROKE AND BECOME ADDICTED TO METH.

Anyway, I could go on for hours about how terrible this movie was, but I'll stop there. But I seriously wonder how sh** like this even gets made. Who would greenlight something this awful?

1/10

 

Batman vs Superman Dawn of justice.

 

Like an idiot , I tried to watch TDKR again to see if my opinion of it would change. people are so passionate. people I respect with other films. I always ( this is my third time) think it can't be as bad as I remember and its worse. Only recent big budget CBM I hate more is IM3. Which I think technicallt seems to be a better film, it just makes me furiously angry to watch.

Apologies, to the legions of fans but your thought processes are truly alien to me.

 

I saw TDKR once in theaters and never again. I was excited to see it, but about a third of the way through the film I felt like Nolan and co. didn't care anymore and just wanted to finish the darn thing so they could go home.

I like Iron Man 3 a lot, I think it gets a lot of undue flak. I can understand why folks didn't like The Mandarin twist (although I enjoyed it) but the criticisms beyond that often seem unfair.

 

I won't get into now because I get kind of out of control but the Mandarin was literally the least problem with the film for me. Very disappointed because I really like Shane Black's conventional action/SF stuff.

I'm actually one of the few who really didn't like TDK much so I wasn't expecting much out of TDKR and I was still disappointed.

Sometimes, I've got to admit I'm not sure the majority here likes ANY movie other than TDK

 

Same here. Don't plan on watching it again either.

 

Man of steel.

I watch it again after seeing BvS to see how it compare. Man of steel so bad but it not as bad as BvS. Snyder actually manage to make worse movie. It deserve critic and fan bashing and disappointing box office.

 

I admire your restraint. It's rare to see this kind of control online, usually people are rearing for any chance to rant about their least favourite things. Out of respect I won't dig any further, and just take it as gospel that you have your reasons for not liking the film t:

Speaking of Shane Black, have you seen the trailer for his new film Nice Guys? It stars Ryan Gosling and Russell Crow. It may well redeem Shane Black for you, I know I'm pretty excited to see it!

 

Yeah, The Nice Guys looks crazy good. I can't wait for that.

 

The Intern. It was like they took every good aspect of Father of the Bride and removed it and cranked every out of touch, insufferable yuppieness of it up to 11.

 

I liked The Intern. But maybe it was because I didn't expect much out of it.

I watched it on a plane with a handful of other movies that were ABSOLUTELY worse, like Pan, Daddy's Home and Victor Frankenstein. The latter two I couldn't finish because they were so awful. Don't know how I got to the end of Pan. Maybe I just did it so I could accurate write my scathing review.

 

The Intern accomplishes what it tries to achieve, and it that regard the movie works. It's a small comedy/drama with good actors and characters. Sometimes that's enough, not everything has to be game-changing.

 

Never could get past 20 minutes with intern. It's awful. I've tried twice.

 

While I won't call it a terrible movie, I've (tried to) watch Inception FOUR times. Three of those times I fell asleep on it (and I wasn't even tired) and one time I just found it so boring I actually got up and cleaned my house (I never clean up!!!), then walked to the grocery store while it continued playing, came back home and cooked tacos, while it just ran on my tv. It's just soooo boring to me.

The last bad movie I saw tho was The Night Before. It was just bad. We get it already. Seth Rogan likes weed...

 

The thing with Inception (and why it may seem boring to you) is that the first half is pure exposition so you can understand the second half, which takes place entirely in the minds of all the characters. Without all that set up, it would be almost impossible to understand what the hell is going on.

 

Batman v Superman.