Advice and Relationships Again: A Hypester's Tale

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Not really thinking about it at the moment.

Hmmm, well I don't wanna push you too, cause you should so just enjoy some happy love feelings for now :)

But at some point, I guess you have to hit the 'harsh reality' button. Cause only you know how long you could keep up a relationship that long distance before it did you some damage... or you'd just have to make her move to your town :p
 
So here's what's been up with me lately: (I'll try to be concise as possible.)
I've had no romantic or sexual prospects in the past 5 months. Nada. After the last girl I hooked up with, I deleted all previous hook ups out of my phone and off facebook. But I live in a smallish town and there isn't a huge abundance of people my age here, let alone people I have yet to meet. There are a few women I talk to and we flirt back and forth but not with any real intention behind it (for various reasons).

Well about two weeks ago, this girl who lives in Seattle comes to town for a work thing and says she's going to be here for two weeks. I meet her because she does CrossFit in Seattle and wants to workout at our Box while here (CrossFit gyms are called 'Boxes'). So she comes in, I coach the first class she takes and after, we talk about her Box, how we do things, how they do things (she started interning to be a coach and employee at her Box) and lots of other stuff. The conversation is very fun and witty and whatnot. Not to mention, she's very cute. I tell her that while she's here, I would be more than happy to recommend restaurants to eat at, places to see, things to do, etc. I also tell her that my friends and I often to "steak nights" at my friend's restaurant which involves us buying steak from the grocery store, taking them to his restaurant after hours and me cooking for everybody and that I would invite her the next time we did it. She excitedly accepted my invitation.

That was on Tuesday. She comes to class on Wednesday and then requests me on FB on either that day or Thursday. On Saturday, I coach two classes and then am sitting there thinking about working out but I don't want to do it by myself so I send her a message on FB asking if she wanted to come workout with me. Hours go by before she replies with, "Sorry, we were on a hike and I just got this! I totally would've loved to go WOD with you!" We start talking after that and she says she's going out that night with her colleagues and I had plans to go out with a friend so we agree to meet up that night when we're both out. So we meet up, go to a bar that has cover and her colleagues don't want to pay the cover to get in. She replies with, "Well you guys can do whatever you want, I'm going with these guys." Her colleagues go back to their hotel and shortly thereafter, my friend leaves to go get laid so it's just us hanging out. And we have a really good time together. Obviously, we have similar interests and have plenty to talk about. She's a scientist so she's really smart and fun to talk to and totally gets my sense of humor.

Yada yada yada, we end up spending the entire week together. As soon as I get off work every day, I go meet her and we stay together until I have to go back to work the next day. I take her out with me to all of my friend gatherings (which is something no girl before her has ever got to do) and she frequently sends me texts during the day that say, "I'm having the hardest time paying attention today. I blame you." I am the farthest thing from an affectionate person ever but with her, I have absolutely no problem holding her hand, holding HER, kissing her in public, etc. All of it just felt completely comfortable with her. And for me, cuddling is the most uncomfortable, awkward, forced, unpleasurable thing ever but, again, with her was completely fine. I slept better when cuddling with her than I normally do. I got very little sleep the whole week and never felt tired during the day.

All of it was (is) completely surreal for me. I can honestly say I've never had this before. She left to go back to Seattle on Friday so she blew off her final day of her work seminar that she was here for and I took the day off work so we could spend the whole day together. We talking Thursday night and she kind of started to freak out about going back. She said, "I'm really not ok with this ending here." She even started to say things like, "You have so much going on here, you're not leaving any time soon..... I can do my phd program anywhere. As long as I have an internet connection...." I said, "Well don't go making huge, life changing decisions right now. It's 2012; it's not hard to stay in contact with and see each other. It'll work out."

So, basically, I think I might have a girlfriend now. But not really. The problem being is that she lives 1500 miles away. And there's no way I'm doing the long distance thing. But at the same time, I've never felt a connection like this. I told my friend (and actually her, later) that if you were to ask me, before meeting her, to describe the girl I would want to date, I would have pretty much described her.

Most of our conversations this weekend have been about missing each other and it just feeling weird not having each other there. We talked last night (after I had gone out and had some drinks with friends so I was a little more loose than normal) and I pretty much told her exactly all of that. That she's the first girl to meet my friends, that she's the first to meet any member of my family, that she's the first girl I've ever felt comfortable being affectionate with, etc. All of this culminating in an "I miss you... and I love you." She replied with, "Really? But... you don't really know me." And I said, "I don't know where you went to grade school or what your favorite color is or any **** like that but I know how I feel when I'm with you and when I'm not with you. Am I crazy? Is it way too early to say that?" To which she said, "No. Because, honestly... I feel the exact same way. I just didn't want to be the first one to say it this early. Walking away from you, going to into the airport, I had put all my will into putting one foot in front of another and getting on the plane rather than running back to you and staying there." We then talked about what that meant and she's like, "Well, what do we do?" I said, "Just go with it. Don't worry about having to do anything. This didn't happen for no reason. Everything will work itself out." And so now we're to the point of exchanging "love you"s.

All of this over the course of a week. It's all so bizarre.....

I'm supposed to be doing a pretty high profile personal security gig next week that, if it really happens, will land me quite a huge chunk of cash and I told her that if it actually happens, the first thing I'm going to do is buy a plane ticket to go see her. And she's already told me that she's already looked at tickets to come back.

Whew. We'll see, I guess......


I haven't ventured into this thread in a while but just read that. Good luck to you man. She seems intent so it could probably work out.
 
Thanks, guys.

I thought I'd throw you guys for a loop with that one since everybody has commented on me just "boasting about conquests". :p
 
So here's what's been up with me lately: (I'll try to be concise as possible.)

I've had no romantic or sexual prospects in the past 5 months. Nada. After the last girl I hooked up with, I deleted all previous hook ups out of my phone and off facebook. But I live in a smallish town and there isn't a huge abundance of people my age here, let alone people I have yet to meet. There are a few women I talk to and we flirt back and forth but not with any real intention behind it (for various reasons).

Well about two weeks ago, this girl who lives in Seattle comes to town for a work thing and says she's going to be here for two weeks. I meet her because she does CrossFit in Seattle and wants to workout at our Box while here (CrossFit gyms are called 'Boxes'). So she comes in, I coach the first class she takes and after, we talk about her Box, how we do things, how they do things (she started interning to be a coach and employee at her Box) and lots of other stuff. The conversation is very fun and witty and whatnot. Not to mention, she's very cute. I tell her that while she's here, I would be more than happy to recommend restaurants to eat at, places to see, things to do, etc. I also tell her that my friends and I often to "steak nights" at my friend's restaurant which involves us buying steak from the grocery store, taking them to his restaurant after hours and me cooking for everybody and that I would invite her the next time we did it. She excitedly accepted my invitation.

That was on Tuesday. She comes to class on Wednesday and then requests me on FB on either that day or Thursday. On Saturday, I coach two classes and then am sitting there thinking about working out but I don't want to do it by myself so I send her a message on FB asking if she wanted to come workout with me. Hours go by before she replies with, "Sorry, we were on a hike and I just got this! I totally would've loved to go WOD with you!" We start talking after that and she says she's going out that night with her colleagues and I had plans to go out with a friend so we agree to meet up that night when we're both out. So we meet up, go to a bar that has cover and her colleagues don't want to pay the cover to get in. She replies with, "Well you guys can do whatever you want, I'm going with these guys." Her colleagues go back to their hotel and shortly thereafter, my friend leaves to go get laid so it's just us hanging out. And we have a really good time together. Obviously, we have similar interests and have plenty to talk about. She's a scientist so she's really smart and fun to talk to and totally gets my sense of humor.

Yada yada yada, we end up spending the entire week together. As soon as I get off work every day, I go meet her and we stay together until I have to go back to work the next day. I take her out with me to all of my friend gatherings (which is something no girl before her has ever got to do) and she frequently sends me texts during the day that say, "I'm having the hardest time paying attention today. I blame you." I am the farthest thing from an affectionate person ever but with her, I have absolutely no problem holding her hand, holding HER, kissing her in public, etc. All of it just felt completely comfortable with her. And for me, cuddling is the most uncomfortable, awkward, forced, unpleasurable thing ever but, again, with her was completely fine. I slept better when cuddling with her than I normally do. I got very little sleep the whole week and never felt tired during the day.

All of it was (is) completely surreal for me. I can honestly say I've never had this before. She left to go back to Seattle on Friday so she blew off her final day of her work seminar that she was here for and I took the day off work so we could spend the whole day together. We talking Thursday night and she kind of started to freak out about going back. She said, "I'm really not ok with this ending here." She even started to say things like, "You have so much going on here, you're not leaving any time soon..... I can do my phd program anywhere. As long as I have an internet connection...." I said, "Well don't go making huge, life changing decisions right now. It's 2012; it's not hard to stay in contact with and see each other. It'll work out."

So, basically, I think I might have a girlfriend now. But not really. The problem being is that she lives 1500 miles away. And there's no way I'm doing the long distance thing. But at the same time, I've never felt a connection like this. I told my friend (and actually her, later) that if you were to ask me, before meeting her, to describe the girl I would want to date, I would have pretty much described her.

Most of our conversations this weekend have been about missing each other and it just feeling weird not having each other there. We talked last night (after I had gone out and had some drinks with friends so I was a little more loose than normal) and I pretty much told her exactly all of that. That she's the first girl to meet my friends, that she's the first to meet any member of my family, that she's the first girl I've ever felt comfortable being affectionate with, etc. All of this culminating in an "I miss you... and I love you." She replied with, "Really? But... you don't really know me." And I said, "I don't know where you went to grade school or what your favorite color is or any **** like that but I know how I feel when I'm with you and when I'm not with you. Am I crazy? Is it way too early to say that?" To which she said, "No. Because, honestly... I feel the exact same way. I just didn't want to be the first one to say it this early. Walking away from you, going to into the airport, I had put all my will into putting one foot in front of another and getting on the plane rather than running back to you and staying there." We then talked about what that meant and she's like, "Well, what do we do?" I said, "Just go with it. Don't worry about having to do anything. This didn't happen for no reason. Everything will work itself out." And so now we're to the point of exchanging "love you"s.

All of this over the course of a week. It's all so bizarre.....

I'm supposed to be doing a pretty high profile personal security gig next week that, if it really happens, will land me quite a huge chunk of cash and I told her that if it actually happens, the first thing I'm going to do is buy a plane ticket to go see her. And she's already told me that she's already looked at tickets to come back.

Whew. We'll see, I guess......

Congratulations, man. :yay: I hope everything works out just fine.
 
Oh my gosh, Willard, I'm so freakin' happy for you and wish you the best. Long distance is insanely hard, and at some point someone is going to have to make a concession, but I wish you the best of luck, and you know 'we' are all supportive of you. Except maybe Rog. 'cause he's hateful ;)
 
Who is this "Rog" you speak of?
 
Willard knows I got his back. I'm happy for you and I hate you for being so damn happy.
 
Oh my gosh, Willard, I'm so freakin' happy for you and wish you the best. Long distance is insanely hard, and at some point someone is going to have to make a concession, but I wish you the best of luck, and you know 'we' are all supportive of you. Except maybe Rog. 'cause he's hateful ;)

Willard knows I got his back. I'm happy for you and I hate you for being so damn happy.

Love you *****es. :hrt:

I told my friend that I coach and manage the gym with (and who is pretty much my big sister at this point) about the 'I love you' thing and she said, "Oh boy. You're sweet and cute. And you're not allowed to move to Seattle." :hehe:

But yeah, even though we both feel how we feel, I still think it's WAAAY too early to be talking about anybody moving their whole lives. But she did say, "I can do my phd program anywhere I have internet connection." And at one point half jokingly asked, "You guys need another coach?" So I think it's safe to say that when it does come down to it, we already know what the solution will be.
 
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*SQUEE*


I'm shipping you guys harder than someone would ship lesbian couples in comics. :cwink:
 
Shipping is the act of putting two people in a relationship. RelationSHIP, shipping. See?
 
Love you *****es. :hrt:

I told my friend that I coach and manage the gym with (and who is pretty much my big sister at this point) about the 'I love you' thing and she said, "Oh boy. You're sweet and cute. And you're not allowed to move to Seattle." :hehe:

But yeah, even though we both feel how we feel, I still think it's WAAAY too early to be talking about anybody moving their whole lives. But she did say, "I can do my phd program anywhere I have internet connection." And at one point half jokingly asked, "You guys need another coach?" So I think it's safe to say that when it does come down to it, we already know what the solution will be.

Sometimes when it's right, it's right. You don't really pick and choose when these things happen.
 
Not really thinking about it at the moment.
Then don't. Don't put any pressure on it, especially if you know what the ultimate solution is going to be when the time is right for both of you.

I went to a marriage preparation workshop over the weekend, and one of the things we had to do was consider a moment when we realized our partner was really special. Mine was pretty early on in our relationship, when I still had plans to go to an academic program 2500 miles away. I told him, and he said, "You should totally do it!" There was no "What about us? I can't do the long-distance thing!" It was nothing but 100% support, and even though I changed my mind about going back to school, what he said has always resonated with me. And still makes me :waa: a little bit when I think about it now, that someone would want the best for me no matter what, even if it would hurt him.

It would be magical if you could do the same for her, and she could do the same for you. It's like they say, set someone free, and if they come back, then they really love you.

I'm really happy for you Willard, and I hope you crazy kids make it work. :yay:
 
yesterday, my girl texts me and told me that she feels very connected to me in a way she never did before. She said that I said I was ALL IN, so she wants to do her best to do the same. This is a big step for her, talking about how she feels the relationship is progressing.

SO through all of this, I am learning that I am a very self absorbed, Narcissistic individual.

I believe I became like this because:

1. I had no sisters or female friends to learn from
2. My mom did everything for me, as I was first born.
3. Limited relationship experience (my last gf spoiled me and did everything for me!)

This is it! I am really trying to do right by this woman. I am trying to change. I cant go through life being this selfish, self absorbed individual, because that a sure path towards being all alone or going from bad relationship to bad relationship. I feel like Scourge from A Christmas Carol, I see what my life has become, but I can still change it. I HAVE TO CHANGE! My close friends and family has also echoed what she said, I was too stubborn to listen. I do not want to go to my deathbed being the person I am now.
 
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I believe I became like this because:

1. I had no sisters or female friends to learn from
2. My mom did everything for me, as I was first born.
3. Limited relationship experience (my last gf spoiled me and did everything for me!)

I like how you blame others and not yourself.

I've known people who came from non affectionate families and grew up to be quite loving people.
 
I like how you blame others and not yourself.

I've known people who came from non affectionate families and grew up to be quite loving people.

I am NOT blaming, trying to understand here. I believe people are a product of their environment to a certain extend. Yes, there are such people are you describe above, but I am not one of them.
 
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