Darthphere Presents: Chivalry is Dead. So what?

[Victarion]

I generally dislike "white knights", but even I will hold a door open for a woman...so long as she isn't some large, awkward distance away from me.

 

[SpideyVille]

Again, this just isn't true. Predictability is not normal because the world is not predictable, people don't live in a vacuum. Guys and girls. If you're straight your guy friends unpredictability probably doesn't bother you, because it's not preventing you from getting laid or finding a girlfriend. Guys just don't connect with other guys like they do with girls. There is no sex. If you're straight that intimacy isn't there. Girls can behave however they are, no different from guys. They're individuals at the end of the day. They're brains are made with the same genetic plan as any human brain. As I said: women are not a social construct.

You're absolutely right and I think what most of us are talking about is based mostly on stereotypes or popular beliefs. Like for V-Day, the expected behavior for a man is to get his girl flowers and chocolates. But of course, it depends on whether the individual actually wants that. Some girls will like it and some might not.

So like when I say women are unpredictable, it's based more on what is expected behavior and how much of it is common with the majority. Like a girl might flip out on a guy for getting her flowers and chocolates on V-Day for reasons unbeknownst to the guy. The guy may be trying to do things all the right way, but still ends up doing something "wrong" in her eyes. But with guys, you don't see that as frequently. And that's the bigger point. Sometimes women react and behave in ways that guys can't understand because they aren't going through the same things, and that happens more often than a guy reacting in a way that a woman can't understand because she's not going through the same things. Therefore guys are in some way more predictable and easier to read than women in that sense.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I don't believe guys are more predictable. You probably care less about how predictable they are because you don't make the preceived sacrifice of sex and or "Love" when a guy turns you down. Lets say you wanna meet and hang out with another day and he calls and says "oh, today is no good, maybe some other time", do you call this getting "shot down" or wonder endlessly about how unattractive they find you. Probably not. Well girls are not much different.

 

[Mrs. Sawyer]

What part of "women aren't a social construct" is so hard to understand. Women are people, they behave like people, and they're no harder for you to understand than your typical guy. If you think WOMEN are hard to understand it's because you're trying too hard to understand them.

Us guys on some level want to understand women but surely you have to admit that most women have different ways of doing things than men. How a guy acts with another guy is obviously different than how a guy acts with a woman, and how a woman acts with another, and even more different if it includes sex and intimacy. Then you're trying to connect on several different levels, and for some people its harder to truly connect, which is why through overcomplicaton, some men see women as a social construct.

When you have all of that going on, it is much easier said than done about women no harder to understand than a typical guy for a typical guy. I'd say the same for women but I seeing more and more women themselves talking about how they can't stand hanging around women. You don't hear the same from a guy. Just saying.

 

[SpideyVille]

When you have all of that going on, it is much easier said than done about women no harder to understand than a typical guy for a typical guy. I'd say the same for women but I seeing more and more women themselves talking about how they can't stand hanging around women. You don't hear the same from a guy. Just saying.

I've heard this same thing. Like I heard this thing once where girl complicate other girls about clothing and make up partially because deep down they are jealous of the other girl and compare things like looks and style, but guys don't normally do that or even express any kind of attention to other guys.

But I will say, personally, I have a lot more friends that are girls than I do guys, and its not because I can't stand guys or anything, but more because I feel more comfortable around girls and enjoy their company more. But if I had to be a friend with a guy, I definitely could.

 

[Mrs. Sawyer]

agreed. I have a lot of female friends too, but its not like I hold Resentment for how guys act the same way some women do for their gender.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Us guys on some level want to understand women but surely you have to admit that most women have different ways of doing things than men. How a guy acts with another guy is obviously different than how a guy acts with a woman, and how a woman acts with another, and even more different if it includes sex and intimacy. Then you're trying to connect on several different levels, and for some people its harder to truly connect, which is why through overcomplicaton, some men see women as a social construct.

When you have all of that going on, it is much easier said than done about women no harder to understand than a typical guy for a typical guy. I'd say the same for women but I seeing more and more women themselves talking about how they can't stand hanging around women. You don't hear the same from a guy. Just saying.

They are really not that different. Some men do see them as a social construct. I usually find them to have the most problems. Sex is not complicated. It's completely straightforward. Some of the consequences are complicated, but its a behavior with consequences like anything else. You don't ever have to deal with women, you have to deal with one woman or some women but never all women. So you don't ever have to worry what the social construct thinks because they don't hold meetings and put you on "no sex list". Doesn't happen.

 

[terry78]

And these friends that girls, you never plan on being anything more with them, correct?

 

[BLACKVULCAN]

hahaha i was just at the cosmoplotian hotel the other night and said this. i was at the bar and this girl kept elbowing me in to get a drink and i said hey! cant you just wait your turn to get a drink. she was all if you were a gentlemen you would let me in! why cause you have ta-tas?!? i dont think so babe! Chivarly is dead! look if a woman acts like one i will throw my coat over a puddle for her( and that coat cost me at least $20) if you act like a B*&^%! i will treat you like one! respect goes both way, don't think its just to be expected!

 

[Mrs. Sawyer]

They are really not that different. Some men do see them as a social construct. I usually find them to have the most problems. Sex is not complicated. It's completely straightforward. Some of the consequences are complicated, but its a behavior with consequences like anything else. You don't ever have to deal with women, you have to deal with one woman or some women but never all women. So you don't ever have to worry what the social construct thinks because they don't hold meetings and put you on "no sex list". Doesn't happen.

Whew. That's a load of my shoulders.

And these friends that girls, you never plan on being anything more with them, correct?

Correct, I don't plan on doing more.

 

[SpideyVille]

In an attempt to bring this thread back to its original topic, you hear many times how women do subtle things or pick up on subtle behaviors of men that they do subconsciously that some to most men do not even notice or pick up on. So that right there alone is what is meant by women being harder to understand, because they are essentially doing things that most guys are not on the same page with.

So like Darth mentioned, its hard to understand how to act with certain women because they are a bit hypocritical at times where they want to be treated one way, but also want to have certain things done for them. And I think this may have something to do with gender roles. The male role has pretty much been static for centuries, whereas women have changed thing in the past few decades. Guys basically act the same, but since women have been evolving with their behavior, it can be hard to keep up with that.

 

[terry78]

hahaha i was just at the cosmoplotian hotel the other night and said this. i was at the bar and this girl kept elbowing me in to get a drink and i said hey! cant you just wait your turn to get a drink. she was all if you were a gentlemen you would let me in! why cause you have ta-tas?!? i dont think so babe! Chivarly is dead! look if a woman acts like one i will throw my coat over a puddle for her( and that coat cost me at least $20) if you act like a B*&^%! i will treat you like one! respect goes both way, don't think its just to be expected!

Actually if she was kinda hot that would have been a good opening to get in on with a sarcastic remark.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

And these friends that girls, you never plan on being anything more with them, correct?

...here comes this discussion, lol.

hahaha i was just at the cosmoplotian hotel the other night and said this. i was at the bar and this girl kept elbowing me in to get a drink and i said hey! cant you just wait your turn to get a drink. she was all if you were a gentlemen you would let me in! why cause you have ta-tas?!? i dont think so babe! Chivarly is dead! look if a woman acts like one i will throw my coat over a puddle for her( and that coat cost me at least $20) if you act like a B*&^%! i will treat you like one! respect goes both way, don't think its just to be expected!

Straight up pimpin'

 

[Darthphere]

I think we have a friend zone discussion thread if that is where this is going.

 

[SpideyVille]

Yeah, this thread is not about how to act with girls you like, but simply how to act with girls in general. Just being friends with a girl can be confusing.

 

[BLACKVULCAN]

she was hot Terry! but what i have learned over the years( and after my younger days of not getting dates) the majority of women like dudes who dont cater to them. my girl has even told me this! in short they dont like wussies. guys will roll over for a girl especially a hot one. just because you are hot wont keep me from twisting your elbow if you keep stabing me with it... ( thats not ladylike!)have some respect and act like a lady. if she would have said excuse but could i slide in here. then i would have said baby you can slide anywhere you want too and i will bring the baby oil!

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

In an attempt to bring this thread back to its original topic, you hear many times how women do subtle things or pick up on subtle behaviors of men that they do subconsciously that some to most men do not even notice or pick up on. So that right there alone is what is meant by women being harder to understand, because they are essentially doing things that most guys are not on the same page with.

So like Darth mentioned, its hard to understand how to act with certain women because they are a bit hypocritical at times where they want to be treated one way, but also want to have certain things done for them. And I think this may have something to do with gender roles. The male role has pretty much been static for centuries, whereas women have changed thing in the past few decades. Guys basically act the same, but since women have been evolving with their behavior, it can be hard to keep up with that.

¿Que? You can't pick up on subtle behaviors? I'd say that's a personal problem. Nothing to do with being a guy. 90% of talking to women is picking up on subtitles.

I also don't think women have been 'evolving their behaviors' anymore than men. I don't think my great-grandfather was calling Rex Ryan a b**** through a flat screen TV.

 

[Darthphere]

¿Que? You can't pick up on subtle behaviors? I'd say that's a personal problem. Nothing to do with being a guy. 90% of talking to women is picking up on subtitles.

I also don't think women have been 'evolving their behaviors' anymore than men. I don't think my great-grandfather was calling Rex Ryan a b**** through a flat screen TV.

It be easier if it was close captioning.

 

[terry78]

I know about the friend zone thing, I just wanted to verify it. It just always happens to slowly lead up to that issue with us.

 

[Darthphere]

I know about the friend zone thing, I just wanted to verify it. It just always happens to slowly lead up to that issue with us.

Terry you're such a nice guy, we're just better off friends.

 

[Canadian Rider]

Chivalry isn't dead Darth. Women have shown a dislike for it in some ways, choosing the "Bad Boy" perhaps ... but there are still gentlemen out there ...

 

[E-Man]

Us guys on some level want to understand women but surely you have to admit that most women have different ways of doing things than men. How a guy acts with another guy is obviously different than how a guy acts with a woman, and how a woman acts with another, and even more different if it includes sex and intimacy. Then you're trying to connect on several different levels, and for some people its harder to truly connect, which is why through overcomplicaton, some men see women as a social construct.

When you have all of that going on, it is much easier said than done about women no harder to understand than a typical guy for a typical guy. I'd say the same for women but I seeing more and more women themselves talking about how they can't stand hanging around women. You don't hear the same from a guy. Just saying.

Or you could've just said that women be shoppin.

 

[SpideyVille]

Chivalry isn't dead Darth. Women have shown a dislike for it in some ways, choosing the "Bad Boy" perhaps ... but there are still gentlemen out there ...

Now this brings up an interesting point. Is chivalry considered dead because women don't seem to tolerate or accept it as much, or because men are not acting like gentlemen?

Or do the two go hand in hand, meaning women want to be looked at as independent so men change how they act?

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Now this brings up an interesting point. Is chivalry considered dead because women don't seem to tolerate or accept it as much, or because men are not acting like gentlemen?

Or do the two go hand in hand, meaning women want to be looked at as independent so men change how they act?

The notion of chivalry is that men have a duty to women moreso than they do their male counterparts. So it's a thinly veiled insult. You can't do for yourselves so basic forms of kindness are required to protect your delicate sensibilities.

 

[Darthphere]

The notion of chivalry is that men have a duty to women moreso than they do their male counterparts. So it's a thinly veiled insult. You can't do for yourselves so basic forms of kindness are required to protect your delicate sensibilities.

Yeah but then you go out to the mall and don't hold the door open for a woman and you get the sarcastic "I guess chivalry really is dead." comment. Sorry lady I slammed the door in your face instead.