Lord of the Advice: Return of the King of Relationships

[Erzengel]

You mentioned before that there doesn't really seem to be any prospects near you? Have you tried neighboring areas?

 

[ComicChick]

Word of advice my friend, sometimes time is not on your side. Last summer I had a blast with this girl who was crazy for me.

We hung out down the shore, I even saved her life when she got caught in a rip current.

But the rest of the summer, we hung out at the boardwalk, playing bowling at the arcade and what not.

She was really something, one time we got intimate on the beach and she was good if you know what I mean.

Unfortunately, she was vacationing with her family and had to leave and we said we'd still be friends.

Sometimes I wonder what she's doing now. But wow, those summer nights.

 

[ComicChick]

and for the record, i'm gonna need yall to quit calling this girl comic chick. she's ruining my rep

edit: im catching up and on page 14 or so now so i don't know if this saga is still continuing or not yet

 

[Erzengel]

But...I heard if you want to have a good time....

 

[knowsbleed]

Word gets around...I heard the same thing about this chick who was into comics...from Virginia.

 

[ComicChick]

:le gasp:

 

[terry78]

What do you expect with an avvy like dat?

 

[ComicChick]

how rude! /stephanie tanner

 

[Boy Scout]

I saw a cute girl at the mall today. I went to go talk to her. I asked how old she was. She was nineteen. Because I'm 17, and therefore still in high school, I didn't think it was worth it training to maintain a relationship with a college girl who I'd probably never see, so I politely excused myself from the conversation.

After telling my sister what happened, she made me realize how stupid that was. I didn't ask what college she went to. She could've gone to one of the local colleges, which means we could've seen each other semi-regularly.

I didn't think things through, and because of that, I lost my chance. Oh well. Lesson learned.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Did Dreadstar deflower the hideous ho comic girl yet? I've been in D.C. and I've been missing my favorite new reality show.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Either one of the two:

An attention ****e/tease or she is into me. Honestly I dont know which. I dont think she is the type to text me and say come on over I am hot or invite me in for a drink after I give her a life. Perhaps I am wrong.

I mean all 20 year olds basically dry hump each other when they dance now, it's meaningless. A friend and I are completely just friends and I've "dry humped" her on a dance floor. Full a** in crotch, but if you know sex is off the table it's just plain ole' fun and shouldn't be taken seriously. Has she kissed you at all? Has she given you "the look"? Does she ever do really gentle things like caress a part of your body randomly, or rub your back? Do you talk about having sex without really referring to other people like former/current girlfriends or hypotheticals? Or have all you've done is dry hump her? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd have a problem with my girlfriend doing that with someone but it really can just be a massive tease. Usually is. I mean, my roommate is a DJ and my other roommate does Dubstep DJing so I see everything in clubs, most guys who dance up on girls just get played. The few times I've danced with a random I started making out with them (and f*****ing that one), and taken many home immediately. I know when they're being serious, and that is not the usual. This girl seems more down for a hook up than anything else, and frankly she would've just f***ing tore her own damn panties off by now if she found you attractive.

Have you asked anyone if she would have sex with you? Or asked her directly? I mean with girls who are making me wait, I try to do the adult approach and simply spark an honest conversation about sex and see where they take it. That's the only way you're gonna know. Many girls do like to sniff a mate out. Probe their financial situation, kind of just hang around waiting for the right excuse, but usually they don't dry hump you during that period to give you the wrong idea, especially if they want you. Then they want you on their terms and their time.

Besides you take all the initiative here. Does sound like she's trying to make you do these things, it sounds like she's being a 20 year old and you're taking it way too seriously. You don't have the assertive, or certainly not smooth personality you think you do.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I saw a cute girl at the mall today. I went to go talk to her. I asked how old she was. She was nineteen. Because I'm 17, and therefore still in high school, I didn't think it was worth it training to maintain a relationship with a college girl who I'd probably never see, so I politely excused myself from the conversation.

After telling my sister what happened, she made me realize how stupid that was. I didn't ask what college she went to. She could've gone to one of the local colleges, which means we could've seen each other semi-regularly.

I didn't think things through, and because of that, I lost my chance. Oh well. Lesson learned.

Dude! I try to pick up girls on va-ca-tion...even if it's family vacation, when I should be spending time with my family instead. Even if I have no time to take them anywhere. You never know what'll happen next, after all. I've hooked up with chicks minutes after meeting them, who says where and when it will happen, ever.

 

[ThePhantasm]

Oh my gosh. Just read the past 8 or 9 pages... Dreadstar creeps me out.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Oh my gosh. Just read the past 8 or 9 pages... Dreadstar creeps me out.

Welcome to the month of June.

 

[ThePhantasm]

Welcome to the month of June.

Thanks for the welcome, but I'm popping back to my DeLorean now.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

Dreadstar should just tattoo 'run away' on his forehead, so every chick he meets has fair warning.

Too mean? Not mean enough?

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Dreadstar should just tattoo 'run away' on his forehead, so every chick he meets has fair warning.

Too mean? Not mean enough?

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say the tattoo would probably just be redundant.

 

[Boy Scout]

Dude! I try to pick up girls on va-ca-tion...even if it's family vacation, when I should be spending time with my family instead. Even if I have no time to take them anywhere. You never know what'll happen next, after all. I've hooked up with chicks minutes after meeting them, who says where and when it will happen, ever.

If I was just looking for a fling or something, I'd have asked for her number. And I'm not at all opposed to messing around, I'm just more interested in being in a relationship. Like I said, I didn't go for it because I assumed we'd never see each other and I didn't want to waste my time.

But that was a stupid thing to do. You're absolutely right; you never know what might happen. This is a mistake I won't make again.

EDIT: It's fitting, in a way, that this is my 600th post.

 

[Erzengel]

Why does asking for her number constitute a fling instead of a relationship?

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Why does asking for her number constitute a fling instead of a relationship?

[At Boy Scout] I'd also like to add getting a number is meaningless. Lots of times if you ask for it, they'll give it just to get rid of you. After all, they don't have to answer. If they give it to you unprompted, that's another story.

 

[Boy Scout]

Why does asking for her number constitute a fling instead of a relationship?

It doesn't. I wanted to ask for her number with the intent to get to know her/start a relationship. Because I didn't think I'd ever get to see her, I didn't see the point in pursuing anything. What I was saying was if I was interested in just messing around for the summer, that wouldn't have stopped me.

But, again, I realize not going for it at all was a dumb thing to do.

[At Boy Scout] I'd also like to add getting a number is meaningless. Lots of times if you ask for it, they'll give it just to get rid of you. After all, they don't have to answer. If they give it to you unprompted, that's another story.

Yeah, I know.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

That's horrible, Erz. Almost as horrible as me colon massaging She-Hulk in my car last night. She clenched a little and almost broke it off, but luckily my leather seats didn't get damaged.

I f***ed the queen of England last night. She's nasty but you really can't pass up the money. It's...it's pretty gross. I can never get into it. She said it beats doing her cousins.

 

[knowsbleed]

OP is gross.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Pfft. I can force a ball into double coverage with a Safety closing in.

I've forced my balls through to a lot of tight ends before.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

OP is gross.

Thank you.