What I fail to understand is WHY 20 somethings females act this way? To me it would mean that they like a guy and want to jump into a relationship with him, otherwise why bother spending all this time with them. It seems like mixed messages. Please correct me if I am wrong.
Just saying since I was once a young clueless 20-something who never got attention....Young clueless plain 20-somethings get excited about attention but are too scared to seal the deal.
If she never gets male attention, I assure you that she won't make the first move unless you do. She'll just latch onto the attention like it's a drug. But she won't seal the deal with you.
This is why: She's twenty. She probably won't die for another 60 or 70 years (hell maybe 80+ with modern technology) so for her it's simply NOT a waste of time. She still, like myself even at 28, has plenty of time. She's probably well aware her next three relationships are likely to not be the man she marries.
Considering I have a friend who has stage 4 pancreatic cancer at 30 (4% 5-year survival probability)....I wouldn't throw away a good potential relationship just because of the mantra "I'm young, I want to have fun." You just never know.
Not to say that you NEED to get into a serious relationship if you don't want one, but if you want one deep down but only figure that you should only date casually and keep looking and not settle down
just because you're young, throwing away good potential relationships can be a mistake.
At any rate, I know a 21-year-old who wants nothing more than to get married and settle down. She jumped to a new guy she believes is The One from a breakup with a fiance in
two weeks. She's not picky with guys. As long as you treat her well, she'd be happy being in a relationship with pretty much anyone.
There really are girls like that out there.
If I don't fancy a guy and he asks me out in a note... I think it's lame. I laugh about it with my friends later.
If I DO fancy a guy and he does that, I think it is the sweetest thing ever.
Basically, if she likes you, it'll go down well. If she doesn't, oh well, she was never going to date you anyway cause she wasn't interested.
It's not like asking someone out in a note is going to change a 'yes' into a 'no'.
Exactamundo!
So fling girl is the future, but you're still going to try to bad comic girl. Not only that, you want to play little games to keep comic girl interested. I think if you actually want fling girl you're going to need to make her your priority. However, I don't think you do, you like the chase too much, you crave the drama and games. It's probably why you so attracted to comic girl right now, she's the chase, drama and games. It's why you call fling girl, fling girl, it's a title that provides a bit of challenge, she's shown every sign of wanting a real relationship, but that obviously scares you since you're constantly waiting for her to break up with you. You've got to grow up if you want a real relationship.
That's what I don't get about you Dreadstar. You're almost 50....
what do you want in a relationship right now? You sound like you'd be fine with casually dating "fling girl" but are you mature enough to let her go first if comic girl throws herself naked in your bed? (Or if you talk her into doing that?) Cause sleeping around behind the back of a woman you're dating is gonna bite you in the ass. "Fling girl" would probably dump you, comic girl would be too scared to pursue anything serious and dump you too, and then you'd be alone.
If you're only looking for women to sleep with, that certainly could be an appropriate scenario for you. But you only seem to be riding the "two women find me attractive, I'm such a stud!" wave, and not thinking about how to get what YOU want out of this whole thing.
. I learned a long time ago to ignore half of it, because frankly most of it's for attention, and if you don't feed their attention right away that's mostly what gets them to try harder with a guy at that age.
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? I mean is 'fling girl' a trainwreck or something? I mean if she's not that attractive then it seems to me like just being friends with her is the way to go. From your description it doesn't seem like you're head over heels ga-ga for comic girl either, in which case you can still hang out and it really doesn't have to be anything further. You'll have all the benefits of a relationship without any of the drawbacks.
