Lord of the Advice: Return of the King of Relationships

[Godzilla2000]

You're relationship started 3 years ago. You say she was a popular girl, always going out with friends?

That was just a phase of her life. The kind of phase every 18/19 year old girl goes through, and maybe now she's just more comfortable being an introvert. She's had 3 years maturing and figuring out how she really enjoys spending her time.

If she WANTED to go out and be that girl again, she probably could fairly easily. But it doesn't sound like she wants too. Which to me says all those 'friends' you say she had, were just people she used to party with because she didn't like being alone. And with you, she's not alone. So she doesn't have that void to fill, so to speak.

Do you feel she is unhappy? Do you think she misses going out and being that person?

I was going to post something in reply about this. My gut is telling me that maybe the user's girlfriend's priorities have changed but her old friends have not. Maybe she actually likes hanging out with him more now than with her popular friends because she sees and has experienced something in him that makes her feel much more confident in herself than she did with interactions with her popular friends. As we get older we all start changing our opinions on what is of a higher priority in life. I'm thinking that maybe she is starting to change and that she feels more comfortable around him and his friends. I just have to ask, is he and his friends more laid back and accepting of differences and not as judgmental about appearances or keeping up a certain behavioral spectrum? I'd say that MultipleJesuses should not be so hard on himself because it's obvious to me that she's going through a normal change in her personality as she's growing and maturing.

I've never met a couple where the relationship "hinges" on mutual musical tastes.

You've never met me then, lol. I don't like to play pretend when something is obviously not an interest of mine, not even to keep a man. If something just annoys me I don't subject myself to it any further. I don't force myself to like anything just to make someone happy, I instead look for people that share the same interests I do. What good comes from putting up with things you really hate? I'm not that desperately lonely that I'll just put up with any old crap from anyone. People accept what makes me happy or they don't. It's that simple. Trust me, just finding men or women that share common interests with you that you can mutually enjoy is a much happier dating situation than putting up with stuff that aggravates you.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

I was going to post something in reply about this. My gut is telling me that maybe the user's girlfriend's priorities have changed but her old friends have not. Maybe she actually likes hanging out with him more now than with her popular friends because she sees and has experienced something in him that makes her feel much more confident in herself than she did with interactions with her popular friends. As we get older we all start changing our opinions on what is of a higher priority in life. I'm thinking that maybe she is starting to change and that she feels more comfortable around him and his friends. I just have to ask, is he and his friends more laid back and accepting of differences and not as judgmental about appearances or keeping up a certain behavioral spectrum? I'd say that MultipleJesuses should not be so hard on himself because it's obvious to me that she's going through a normal change in her personality as she's growing and maturing.

Completely agree. Especially the last part.

 

[Erzengel]

You've never met me then, lol. I don't like to play pretend when something is obviously not an interest of mine, not even to keep a man. If something just annoys me I don't subject myself to it any further. I don't force myself to like anything just to make someone happy, I instead look for people that share the same interests I do. What good comes from putting up with things you really hate? I'm not that desperately lonely that I'll just put up with any old crap from anyone. People accept what makes me happy or they don't. It's that simple. Trust me, just finding men or women that share common interests with you that you can mutually enjoy is a much happier dating situation than putting up with stuff that aggravates you.

You're never going to find someone who shares ALL your interests.

As long as you are with someone who is supportive about your tastes, I think that's really all you need.

 

[MultipleJesuses]

You're relationship started 3 years ago. You say she was a popular girl, always going out with friends?

That was just a phase of her life. The kind of phase every 18/19 year old girl goes through, and maybe now she's just more comfortable being an introvert. She's had 3 years maturing and figuring out how she really enjoys spending her time.

If she WANTED to go out and be that girl again, she probably could fairly easily. But it doesn't sound like she wants too. Which to me says all those 'friends' you say she had, were just people she used to party with because she didn't like being alone. And with you, she's not alone. So she doesn't have that void to fill, so to speak.

Do you feel she is unhappy? Do you think she misses going out and being that person?

Honestly? I don't know. She never unhappy but every now and then she'd say how she'd love to get a night out soon, then when I try to arrange something she refuses. Same for when her friends ask her.

Sometimes she sees pictures of her friends on facebook and she feels guilty for missing a birthday party or something but thats all she says about it.

Sometimes it feels like we're too comfortable with each other. Like if we split up, neither of us would know how to approach a new relationship

 

[TLH]

Why not? You're 23/24. You should be able to have a girl over for a day or two.

Clearly you don't have old school Italians for parents. We both do, so that works because we understand how hard it is for us to get time together.

What's not the type to do that? Someone who is afraid of committment? Someone who doesn't want a real relationship with you?

The type to "smoke weed" ... you needed to read the post. She had some probably out of a celebration for Italy winning on Thursday. I know she's not that type of girl, so I wonder about the circumstances of her doing that is all.

 

[Dreadstar]

Fling girl so far!

My desire to be the DOMINATE partner is a relationship is much much more stronger than my girly desires. My girly desires seem to vanish whenever I am in a relationship. I am very happy with my panties and girls jeans, which she approves. I can stop at that. I want her to be the girl and dress in skirts and dresses and high heels, (she loves to wear skirts and heels, she has over 50- 100 pairs of shoes. She has a large lingerie collection too, which I love!)) Those things I have NO desire to wear, as long as I am in a relationship. I cant explain why. mally in the summer, I shave my legs and wear nail polish on my toe nails, but NO MORE!!!!!

PLUS no one to listen to my marching orders if I am all girled up. I would rather be a DOM. And I am talking about my friends too. I am happy this is all resolved.

And I told her that it would be nice if we get away for a 3 or 4 day weekend escape to the mountains. She was all for it. We are going to go end of July. Again, we were talking about where to stay and she suggested a certain location, I said another place and she backed down and told me any place I want to stay is OK. So no worries. I notice she will acquiesce to my desires more and more. I also notice that in small ways, she becomes more submissive, which I love! She gets me a beer whenever I arrive at her place. She makes me supper. Whenever we discuss doing almost anything, she always backs down and tells me that whatever I want to do is fine. In the bedroom, she tells me that I can do whatever I want. Now that does not mean she says yes all the time, she does not. Sometimes she will say no, but thats about 1 in 10 times.

I LOVE being the DOM. I love calling the shots. I still get to keep my panties and girl jeans, and those are my 2 FAV items. So its all good. This woman brings out the man in me and I am very happy with that.

Did you ever think you would EVER hear me say I DO NOT want to wear girly items? WELL NOW YOU HAVE! And I am going to the gym and lifting weights like crazy. Going to go for bench pressing my weight, 220 lbs by sept 1. I am at 185 now.

 

[Schlosser85]

Fling girl so far!

My desire to be the DOMINATE partner is a relationship is much much more stronger than my girly desires. My girly desires seem to vanish whenever I am in a relationship. I am very happy with my panties and girls jeans, which she approves. I can stop at that. I want her to be the girl and dress in skirts and dresses and high heels, (she loves to wear skirts and heels, she has over 50- 100 pairs of shoes. She has a large lingerie collection too, which I love!)) Those things I have NO desire to wear, as long as I am in a relationship. I cant explain why. mally in the summer, I shave my legs and wear nail polish on my toe nails, but NO MORE!!!!!

PLUS no one to listen to my marching orders if I am all girled up. I would rather be a DOM. And I am talking about my friends too. I am happy this is all resolved.

And I told her that it would be nice if we get away for a 3 or 4 day weekend escape to the mountains. She was all for it. We are going to go end of July. Again, we were talking about where to stay and she suggested a certain location, I said another place and she backed down and told me any place I want to stay is OK. So no worries. I notice she will acquiesce to my desires more and more. I also notice that in small ways, she becomes more submissive, which I love! She gets me a beer whenever I arrive at her place. She makes me supper. Whenever we discuss doing almost anything, she always backs down and tells me that whatever I want to do is fine. In the bedroom, she tells me that I can do whatever I want. Now that does not mean she says yes all the time, she does not. Sometimes she will say no, but thats about 1 in 10 times.

I LOVE being the DOM. I love calling the shots. I still get to keep my panties and girl jeans, and those are my 2 FAV items. So its all good. This woman brings out the man in me and I am very happy with that.

Did you ever think you would EVER hear me say I DO NOT want to wear girly items? WELL NOW YOU HAVE! And I am going to the gym and lifting weights like crazy. Going to go for bench pressing my weight, 220 lbs by sept 1. I am at 185 now.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I don't know, if all a guy had on his smartphone was Rap and Hip Hop I'd kind of tell him it just won't work out because I really do not like that sort of music at all.

If you wouldn't date a guy because of musical preference, then you wouldn't be worth 5 minutes in my book.

Sorry.

 

[Schlosser85]

Yea, musical preferences are kind of petty reasons to reject someone.

 

[Dreadstar]

Why would this woman (who has to take charge in her career) become more and more submissive? I know why I am just curious if you guys can confirm.


***This morning she texted me that she is sitting on her deck sipping coffee. Then she goes on to describe what she is wearing (tank top and panties), then sends me a pic. Sounds really unhappy to me!

 

[Anita18]

You've never met me then, lol. I don't like to play pretend when something is obviously not an interest of mine, not even to keep a man. If something just annoys me I don't subject myself to it any further. I don't force myself to like anything just to make someone happy, I instead look for people that share the same interests I do. What good comes from putting up with things you really hate? I'm not that desperately lonely that I'll just put up with any old crap from anyone. People accept what makes me happy or they don't. It's that simple. Trust me, just finding men or women that share common interests with you that you can mutually enjoy is a much happier dating situation than putting up with stuff that aggravates you.

I was gonna post a clip but I'm on my phone and YouTube search is not working for me. But whatever! 3 guesses as to where this is from!

Just because she likes the same bizzaro crap you do doesn't mean she's your soul mate.

You seem extremely close-minded to not even tolerate stuff that YOU don't like. You are expecting your partner to be open-minded, yes? Sounds like a double-standard to me.

To be fair, I don't like rap music either, nor country. It's not tooooo hard to find someone who feels the same way. Unfortunately I found someone who doesn't like noise at all. The silence only bothers me when I'm driving. So I made a simple rule - whoever's driving gets to choose the music, or lack thereof. If he doesn't want to hear music on long road trips, he drives. And I can sleep.

 

[Erzengel]

Yea, musical preferences are kind of petty reasons to reject someone.

Now if they don't like Star Wars, then you get up and throw your drink in their face and walk out of the restaurant.

But do that, after dinner and dessert too.

Unless the dessert has nuts in it, then you can do it before that.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

You've never met me then, lol. I don't like to play pretend when something is obviously not an interest of mine, not even to keep a man. If something just annoys me I don't subject myself to it any further. I don't force myself to like anything just to make someone happy, I instead look for people that share the same interests I do. What good comes from putting up with things you really hate? I'm not that desperately lonely that I'll just put up with any old crap from anyone. People accept what makes me happy or they don't. It's that simple. Trust me, just finding men or women that share common interests with you that you can mutually enjoy is a much happier dating situation than putting up with stuff that aggravates you.

Honestly, you're missing out on life then. I always appreciate new things. I like trying new things with my hair, buying new clothes, checking out the latest new spots, hearing the latest songs, using some of the phrases people start using, and trying new apps and stuff other people like. I want to find out why they like something *different* from me. This is something you, and frankly many here, lack: is life experience. The most unsexy, unappealing trait. If all it's ever gonna be is superheroes/laundry mats/whatever it is you like now then, yeah, you will need a relationship that hinges on doing all the same things all the time. It's going to limit your pool. I'll bang/date a dorky chick, a punk rock chick, a rap chick, a model, an older woman, whatever. Those things are all superficial distinctions. If I find you attractive, and I think you're a decent person with enough going for you I'll see where it leads. If you're gonna do this my way or the highway crap I gaurantee you won't find someone, at least not anyone hot.

People miss a lot of what's going on. We ALL go through awkward stages which hinder our success in whatever area of life, here specifically sex and relationships, but there is a reason Ryan Gosling, Channing Tatum, Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis are fawned over. It's not just being gorgeous, it has a lot to do with seeming put together, and like they have something going on. They also aren't afraid to mess with their design either. They can play many characters and wear many hats. That communicates a lot of flexibility and a lot of upward mobility.

If you look like you're stuck in a rut, which is what being this stubborn makes it seem like (is) then that is attractive to no one who isn't stuck in that rut with you.

 

[terry78]

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Love is wanting to fight somebody but not being able to.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

If you wouldn't date a guy because of musical preference, then you wouldn't be worth 5 minutes in my book.

Sorry.

Yea, musical preferences are kind of petty reasons to reject someone.

Hey c'mon you guys.... Godzilla has high standards and you should respect that.

.........................

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Honestly, you're missing out on life then. I always appreciate new things. I like trying new things with my hair, buying new clothes, checking out the latest new spots, hearing the latest songs, using some of the phrases people start using, and trying new apps and stuff other people like. I want to find out why they like something *different* from me. This is something you, and frankly many here, lack: is life experience. The most unsexy, unappealing trait. If all it's ever gonna be is superheroes/laundry mats/whatever it is you like now then, yeah, you will need a relationship that hinges on doing all the same things all the time. It's going to limit your pool. I'll bang/date a dorky chick, a punk rock chick, a rap chick, a model, an older woman, whatever. Those things are all superficial distinctions. If I find you attractive, and I think you're a decent person with enough going for you I'll see where it leads. If you're gonna do this my way or the highway crap I gaurantee you won't find someone, at least not anyone hot.

People miss a lot of what's going on. We ALL go through awkward stages which hinder our success in whatever area of life, here specifically sex and relationships, but there is a reason Ryan Gosling, Channing Tatum, Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis are fawned over. It's not just being gorgeous, it has a lot to do with seeming put together, and like they have something going on. They also aren't afraid to mess with their design either. They can play many characters and wear many hats. That communicates a lot of flexibility and a lot of upward mobility.

If you look like you're stuck in a rut, which is what being this stubborn makes it seem like (is) then that is attractive to no one who isn't stuck in that rut with you.

Do I... do I actually agree with Optimus? Could it be???

lol

 

[knowsbleed]

If I found the female version of myself... who would of course have the exact same interests and thought processes I had... I'd shower her with elbows across the face, then I'd follow that up with a piledriver/suplex/boston crab/DDT combination. I'd then beat her to unconsciousness and stab her brain with a spoon. I'd then tie her lifeless body to the back of a car and drag her into the next state where I'd take a break and get some Wafflehouse because I'm sure I'd need sustenance by then. Then I'd leave her in the Wafflehouse bathroom with a sign reading "I am a horrible person... free punches".

 

[Harlekin]

You'd just have to hope she doesn't pull that on you first.

 

[Dreadstar]

The 20 something girl so far.

The 20 something girl and me were at a scavenger hunt saturday. We were a team with another friend. So we had to go have a big water fight as part of the scavenger hunt challenge. BUT I did not want them in my car because I have leather seats and after the water fight, 3 people soaking wet sitting on my leather seats that would ruin them.

So we had to go in my friends smart car. My friend said she will have to sit on my lap. She was OK with this! We even seat belted us together in the seat. All the way there my friend and I were making sexual jokes about her being on top of me! LOL We had our water fight amongst ourselves first. The 23 year old jumped on my back and I went down on all 4s like a dog so they could get me wet. Fun stuff.

Anyways, as we were walking, someone sitting asked us about what we were doing. We told them and I went and said, " its all good! I get to have the 23 year old sit on my lap and she is all wet!" WOOHOO

Before we left to go back, she said that she was all wet! I was not thinking about her connotation, , so I asked her to explain. She could not believe that I did not get it (I was injured in the play fight and was attending to this) and mentioned a female body part. Then I told her, I am not even thinking about that, but since you mentioned it, I am all hard! And that set the tone for the ride home!

On the drive back we flirted and made sexual jokes. I told her things like" You said you wanted to get laid, well I can help you with that!"
And I would pretend like the car hit a bump and thrust into her body! LOL She sat there laughed and tried to act like she was not not enjoying this. She always got back
in the smart car on top of me.

I think this was important because I figure 2 things have to happen for me to bed this woman:

1. I have to make physical contact with her in a joking,
playful way. The smart car ride did that and then some

2. I have to get her to think of me in a sexual way. The smart car ride did that too.

So I think I will see how things go and allow the universe to guide me. I am not going to force anything and the above was not planned, it just unfolded.

Fling girl I am taking on a mountain vacation later this summer. Booked the motels and everything.

 

[Schlosser85]

...that was a little too much information.

 

[Colossal Spoons]

brb, restarting my computer

 

[Darthphere]

So you sexually assaulted a young female?

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Seriously... I am NOT giving you advice on how to get this girl into bed...

I would advise you to leave her the hell alone.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

You did what now?