Lord of the Advice: Return of the King of Relationships

[Optimus_Prime_]

Okaaaayyyyyyy.....is your name Ghostrider87 perhaps?

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I want you to go into a little more detail on what you meant when you said "She sat there laughed and tried to act like she was not not enjoying this". Specifically that bolded part.

 

[Dreadstar]

She was joking along with me, smiling and laughing. If she did not want me to do that, then why bring up the sexual reference right before we left? (her being wet) Why get back in the car? She could have sat on the floor or crawled in the back.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

She was joking along with me, smiling and laughing. If she did not want me to do that, then why bring up the sexual reference right before we left? (her being wet) Why get back in the car? She could have sat on the floor or crawled in the back.

No, no. You said you grabbed her leg then repeatedly bumped into her and she was "acting like she was not enjoying this". Why did you say "not enjoying"? How was she acting like she was not enjoying this?

 

[hopefuldreamer]

The problem is, if this girl is genuinely saying that stuff to you and being really into this creepy scenario... then she's a pretty troubled girl.

Because to me, having read the majority of your posts and gotten a certain impression of you, it just seems kind of wrong...

 

[Dreadstar]

No, no. You said you grabbed her leg then repeatedly bumped into her and she was "acting like she was not enjoying this". Why did you say "not enjoying"? How was she acting like she was not enjoying this?

Acting like she was not enjoying it. Saying things like "I have my deflectors on" then I grabbed her again and she had her hand up to push me away. She threatened to get in the back in a jokingly way. "Do you want me to get in the back?" She was laughing and smiling all through this. And she was the one to bring up the "I am wet" reference before she got in the car. I was not even thinking about that! She clarified by saying its a certain female body part. I was a little stunned by this.

Of course she is not going to say OK lets do it.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

The problem is, if this girl is genuinely saying that stuff to you and being really into this creepy scenario... then she's a pretty troubled girl.

Because to me, having read the majority of your posts and gotten a certain impression of you, it just seems kind of wrong...

[going off of what Hopeful is getting at]
DS: The thing here that bothers me is that you're not talking about things she said to you, you're talking about things you did to her, as if somehow you're manipulating her into doing your bidding. Usually "creepers", or people who have very little clue how to talk to women still think they're doing/saying all the right things and the other person is enjoying it. In other words you say laughter. What kind of laughter? Nervous laughter? Could've been nervous laughter right. This whole scene gives off a very rapey vibe, and trust me many rapist contend their victims "enjoyed it" because in many cases they're unaware of what they did wrong. In many cases rapists and sexual offenders are simply misinterpreting signals, they think their victims are wanting it.

Which is what's sort of scary about this. It doesn't sound to me like she's done much to give you any sort of signal. All you tell us about is stupid stuff like "why would she laugh at this joke" and "why would she act like every other twenty year old girl". I mean try having an ADULT conversation about sex.

Moreover what exactly did she say; verbatim. Not "she laughed".

HD: I am getting a "wrong" impression as well. He reminds me of a guy I work with, who is also in his 50s and seems to miss things.

 

[Anita18]

I feel like I'm reading a bad high school rom com.

 

[Dreadstar]

NO, not nervous laughter. Laughing as in we were all laughing. She has done this sort of thing before, maybe not to that extent. BUt at parties she dared my friend to bite her bare ass after he bit her jean covered ass.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Acting like she was not enjoying it. Saying things like "I have my deflectors on" then I grabbed her again and she had her hand up to push me away. She threatened to get in the back in a jokingly way. "Do you want me to get in the back?" She was laughing and smiling all through this. And she was the one to bring up the "I am wet" reference before she got in the car. I was not even thinking about that! She clarified by saying its a certain female body part. I was a little stunned by this.

Of course she is not going to say OK lets do it.

I'm gonna say those don't sound like jokes, and many people laugh when they are freightened, usually because it's a coping mechanism. Biologically laughter is submissive, can mean both in a good way and a bad way. This sounds like a bad way.

She said "I am wet". Was she physically wet? I say "I am gross" to girls when I work out because I am "gross" from all my "sweat". It's not a come on.

Do you want me to get in the back?

Seriously?

Dude! You were sexually assaulting this chick. Yeah, she may have laughed, but like I say that means jacksh**! She said "DO YOU WANT ME TO GET IN THE BACK!!!!" after you grabbed her leg. She's in a car! What's she gonna do? Jump out! Of course she's going to laugh nervously and hope the rape doesn't occur!

Holy f***ing sh**balls! I think you just made Ghostrider87 look like some loveable teddy bear that used to sprinkle us with magic fairly dust that granted our wishes. Holy crap! You're a psycho!

 

[Dreadstar]

I'm gonna say those don't sound like jokes, and many people laugh when they are freightened, usually because it's a coping mechanism. Biologically laughter is submissive, can mean both in a good way and a bad way. This sounds like a bad way.

She said "I am wet". Was she physically wet? I say "I am gross" to girls when I work out because I am "gross" from all my "sweat". It's not a come on.

Do you want me to get in the back?

Seriously?

Dude! You were sexually assaulting this chick. Yeah, she may have laughed, but like I say that means jacksh**! She said "DO YOU WANT ME TO GET IN THE BACK!!!!" after you grabbed her leg. She's in a car! What's she gonna do? Jump out! Of course she's going to laugh nervously and hope the rape doesn't occur!

Holy f***ing sh**balls! I think you just made Ghostrider87 look like some loveable teddy bear that used to sprinkle us with magic fairly dust that granted our wishes. Holy crap! You're a psycho!

Yes, she was all wet from the water fight. When she said " I AM WET!", I told her I DO NOT Understand, we are ALL wet! She looked at me and said, "I am WET as in a female body part!"

Is that clear enough for you!

 

[Darthphere]

Oh my.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

This story sounds really, um, off.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Oh my.

I feel like the "do you want me to get in the back" and slapping the hand away need a lot more elaborating here. I mean I dunno what y'all's experience is but usually if I do something and a girl doesn't mind it's "yeah, keep doing that" not "I'm going over here".

 

[Darthphere]

Could be that this girl also has some sort of psychological issue, probably daddy issues of some sort. Doesn't change the fact that he pretty much sexually assaulted someone. I mean, "she acted like she didn't like it" or whatever is pretty much the number one line from any person who has committed sexual assault.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

So here's a question. If she told you she was wet why did you not have sex. Why did she not go back to your place, or another private location? Because when a girl tells me "she's wet" it generally follows we have sex. So how did all this end...where is she now...what happened after she wanted to move to the back and you were grabbing her?

 

[Dreadstar]

She said the moving to the back part it as a joke. Your right, you were not there.

nm. you guys were not there, so you have no context and do not know this woman the way I do. She has wrestled around with other guys and been grabbed all over before in front of everyone. Its nothing new to her. thats the way she is.

She edged on a guy to bite her bare ass after she let him bite her jean covered ass at a party.

 

[Darthphere]

I feel like the "do you want me to get in the back" and slapping the hand away need a lot more elaborating here. I mean I dunno what y'all's experience is but usually if I do something and a girl doesn't mind it's "yeah, keep doing that" not "I'm going over here".

Pretty much. From the story, it seemed like she didn't have much of a choice but to sit on his lap other than walking home, which would have been a better idea it seems.

 

[Darthphere]

She said the moving to the back part it as a joke. Your right, you were not there.

And you are not replying to the " I AM WET AS IN A FEMALE BODY PART" comment.

Mostly because it doesn't make sense with the rest of your story. She was acting like she didn't like it, she put her hand up to stop you from doing something and said she wanted to go to the back seat. Then all of a sudden she tells you I'm all wet in a sexual manner? Seems like she's either the worst tease ever or something doesn't add up.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Could be that this girl also has some sort of psychological issue, probably daddy issues of some sort. Doesn't change the fact that he pretty much sexually assaulted someone. I mean, "she acted like she didn't like it" or whatever is pretty much the number one line from any person who has committed sexual assault.

Pretty much what I was saying earlier. Just watch MSNBA or Court cases. Almost all the defendants generally say "she said no but I could tell she wanted it", because, the truth is, most criminals are mentally disturbed. They don't "process" things properly. However, it comes across in their writing generally, and or the way they tell stories is generally off. Like the interpret something wrong, or they believe they are doing something right when they are not, and usually their writing is self-centric. So rarely are the other characters given a voice, or a life unto themselves, because they only see their own perspective which they force onto reality, even though it's somewhat apparent the situation is weird.

 

[Darthphere]

She said the moving to the back part it as a joke. Your right, you were not there.

nm. you guys were not there, so you have no context and do not know this woman the way I do. She has wrestled around with other guys and been grabbed all over before in front of everyone. Its nothing knew to her. thats the way she is.

She edged on a guy to bite her bare ass after she let him bite her jean covered ass at a party.

Just because she's a certain way with other guys, doesn't mean she's the same way with you.

 

[Dreadstar]

Actually, she did have a choice. She could have easily sat on the floor where my feet were and I could have lifted up my feet.

When we had the water fight, there were many other people there who she knew that she could have caught a lift back to the bar with. So its not what your making it out to be.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Mostly because it doesn't make sense with the rest of your story. She was acting like she didn't like it, she put her hand up to stop you from doing something and said she wanted to go to the back seat. Then all of a sudden she tells you I'm all wet in a sexual manner? Seems like she's either the worst tease ever or something doesn't add up.

I'm beginning to wonder if he's just not interpreting "I'm wet" or other references to being wet to whatever pre-conceived definition he already has in his head. Also none of this sounds very "adult". Like I can have an "adult" discussion about sex. This just sounds like a porno script.

Pretty much. From the story, it seemed like she didn't have much of a choice but to sit on his lap other than walking home, which would have been a better idea it seems.

Yeah, I mean grabbing a girl in a car before having any sexual contact whatsoever? That's pretty weird. I might try like subtle touches in a confined space, maybe, but I mean she doesn't have a way out. She just has to sit there and take this.

 

[Dreadstar]

There was NO interpreting. She refereed to female body parts as being wet! I said I DO NOT UNDERSTAND! Why dont you understand this?

Why do you keep making this out to be something its not?

I grabbed her then took my hand away! How is that for specific. I did that twice. It was her knee. Thats it. Other than that, my hands were hanging outside the car window or over the headrest

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Actually, she did have a choice. She could have easily sat on the floor where my feet were and I could have lifted up my feet.

When we had the water fight, there were many other people there who she knew that she could have caught a lift back to the bar with. So its not what your making it out to be.

That doesn't sound like a "choice", at all actually. More or more I'm not liking where this is going. Correction. I don't like where this is gone, but what the hell, I've got time, please continue this crazy tip down the rabbit hole.