Nice guys finish last

[JAK®]

It's not as black and white as you make it out to be.

Just like "Nice guys finish last"

 

[knowsbleed]

Who the hell said that? They must have been drunk or something.

 

[JAK®]

 

[knowsbleed]

Haha, if you think I'm trolling, then you really haven't met a troll yet.

 

[SentinelMind]

It depends on your interpretation of those two words... that's the point I was trying to make. By your definition, a nice guy is not a good guy, but in reality... a nice guy is probably has qualities from both of your definitions... and vice versa. It's not as black and white as you make it out to be.

Yeah, a good guy can do nice things and can appear to be nice on surface...but he has to be decisive, have a strong moral compass to be a true good guy. A nice guy is someone who appeases everyone all the time so that people can like him..not necessarily to do the right thing.

 

[SpideyVille]

A friend of mine told me girls "want the bad guy to be nice to them but not so much that makes then a pushover."

So I guess even a "bad" guy can do nice things.

 

[knowsbleed]

Yeah, a good guy can do nice things and can appear to be nice on surface...but he has to be decisive, have a strong moral compass to be a true good guy. A nice guy is someone who appeases everyone all the time so that people can like him..not necessarily to do the right thing.

Let me ask you this then, would the phrase "Good guys finish last" be a more true statement? These days, a person who does the right thing all the time will most often be shunned by those whose 'moral compass'es have a confused magnetic field. Unless they surround themselves by people of similar morals and ethics, they would have to deal with some social rejection.

Example, my co-worker is a really hard worker... strives for success and is genuinely what I would call a 'good guy'. But others see him as a kiss ass because he always has a very cheerful demeanor and that's all they see. They see him being friendly to people in higher positions, but it's hard not to do that when you are the low man on the totem pole (he has only worked here for a few years). From my experience with him, he is the epitome of a hard worker with strong work ethics... but others see him as just a kiss ass who uses his ability to appeal socially as a way to advance his career.

Probably doesn't compare to the pitiful loser example that most people have been using in this thread... but career advancement without peer acceptance is a hard thing to deal with sometimes.

 

[SentinelMind]

No I believe good guys win in the end....but they have to be patient and keep the eye on the prize. Bad guys/jerks get short term gratification...but lose in long run. Nice guys are overrun by everyone because they try to appease everybody and are overlooked.

If you're doing your job and doing the right thing in workplace, it doesn't matter what your co-workers think. Life is full of haters. You just gotta brush them off and keep pushing forward.

 

[Master Chief]

Women may be attracted to the bad boys initially, but they don't stay with the bad boys... So there's a double benefit.

 

[SpideyVille]

Don't women get with the bad boys and hope that they change?

 

[knowsbleed]

No I believe good guys win in the end....but they have to be patient and keep the eye on the prize. Bad guys/jerks get short term gratification...but lose in long run. Nice guys are overrun by everyone because they try to appease everybody and are overlooked.

If you're doing your job and doing the right thing in workplace, it doesn't matter what your co-workers think. Life is full of haters. You just gotta brush them off and keep pushing forward.

While I agree with your second paragraph, I believe that your first is a very idealized way of looking at things... especially the bolded part.

 

[RockSP]

Women may be attracted to the bad boys initially, but they don't stay with the bad boys...

Depends on the woman. There are many women who love pointless strife and drama, which a bad boy will provide. Then those women get to complain and be "happy".

Don't women get with the bad boys and hope that they change?

Some do, absolutely.

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

There is some skepticism whether a truly "nice guy" exist or just doormats, wallflowers, brown noses and "forever alone" types.

Of course nice people exist and they're typically thoughtful and well mannered. These traits aren't exactly turn ons for females. Rough and dangerous are turn ons for females. So the thoughful and well mannered guy needs something else to win over females.

 

[AndThePickles]

Of course nice people exist and they're typically thoughtful and well mannered. These traits aren't exactly turn ons for females. Rough and dangerous are turn ons for females. So the thoughful and well mannered guy needs something else to win over females.

That's quite a generalization you've got there.

 

[Anjow1060]

You guys need to check out my film, "Digits"

It is literally ALL about this very topic.

www.Facebook.com/DigitsMovie

- Jow

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

There is some skepticism whether a truly "nice guy" exist or just doormats, wallflowers, brown noses and "forever alone" types.

Of course nice people exist and they're typically thoughtful and well mannered. These traits aren't exactly turn ons for females. Rough and dangerous are turn ons for females. So the thoughful and well mannered guy needs something else to win over females.

I don't know where you get this idea at all, seriously. Wilt Chamberlain was, according to all of the enormous number of women he slept with, very thoughtful and well-mannered. They apparently even said he would usually ask them politely to sleep with him. Now before you say "he's rich", yeah, I'd say money definitely is a huge factor, but as far as what you think girls look for personally your views are incredibly skewed. I think what you're actually seeing is that "bad boys" who are "dangerous" probably put themselves out more and are more social than "well mannered guys" who are "wallflowers".

 

[terry78]

Basically don't be boring.

 

[kane9321]

truth

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Basically don't be boring.

There's something to be said for this. If your date does ten types of illegal drugs, lands both of you a night in jail, and turns out he's using an alias to evade the authorities at least you're getting a story out of it, as opposed to Nicey McSnoozeypants over there.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

truth

A friend of mine had this phrase, and I kind of like it. He'd say "even if all the girls are talking sh** about me, they're still thinking about me".

 

[NickSox]

There is some skepticism whether a truly "nice guy" exist or just doormats, wallflowers, brown noses and "forever alone" types.

Of course nice people exist and they're typically thoughtful and well mannered. These traits aren't exactly turn ons for females. Rough and dangerous are turn ons for females. So the thoughful and well mannered guy needs something else to win over females.

You can be a nice guy with out being a pushover. Ask my fiancee
It's about being genuine and actually caring about your partner. You can get into arguments and little fights and still be a nice guy, those things are pretty necessary for a working relationship. And while rough and dangerous might be turn ons to some females, a nice guy who's spontaneous, fun and stimulating in conversation can more than make up for a leather coat and motorcycle.

 

[Anita18]

No I believe good guys win in the end....but they have to be patient and keep the eye on the prize. Bad guys/jerks get short term gratification...but lose in long run. Nice guys are overrun by everyone because they try to appease everybody and are overlooked.

If you're doing your job and doing the right thing in workplace, it doesn't matter what your co-workers think. Life is full of haters. You just gotta brush them off and keep pushing forward.

True fax.

Besides, other people's definition of success certainly doesn't have to be the same as your definition of success. I'm nice and helpful in the workplace because I like having good vibes there, not because I'll get a raise or whatever. If people don't having good vibes, IMO there's something wrong with them.

A 2-bdrm house in the suburbs sounds like a nightmare to aspire to, but that's what many people assume we should aspire too. Eff that.

There is some skepticism whether a truly "nice guy" exist or just doormats, wallflowers, brown noses and "forever alone" types.

Of course nice people exist and they're typically thoughtful and well mannered. These traits aren't exactly turn ons for females. Rough and dangerous are turn ons for females. So the thoughful and well mannered guy needs something else to win over females.

Is your default female a chick from Jersey Shore? I don't have any female friends who want a bad boy. They want nice guys, but interesting ones. Maybe you ought to expand your horizons.

Basically don't be boring.

Also keep in mind that "boring" can mean different things for different people. My bf is a programmer who works on games but I think that's much cooler than being obsessed with sports. Or being a druggie. That's excitement I don't need.

 

[SpideyVille]

You can be a nice guy with out being a pushover. Ask my fiancee

See that's something I don't understand. My friend, a female, said girls want the bad guys to be nice to them and not be pushovers, but my question is, why does the guy have to be bad? Why can't he be nice and not be a pushover?

It's about being genuine and actually caring about your partner. You can get into arguments and little fights and still be a nice guy, those things are pretty necessary for a working relationship. And while rough and dangerous might be turn ons to some females, a nice guy who's spontaneous, fun and stimulating in conversation can more than make up for a leather coat and motorcycle.

This reminds me of a thread I made about judging the real side of a person. Does it matter how a guy acts if he's nice to the girl. Meaning, if he's a sweetheart to the girl, but a jerk to everyone else, does that even matter, or do girls look for the guy that treats her like he treats everyone else?

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Also keep in mind that "boring" can mean different things for different people. My bf is a programmer who works on games but I think that's much cooler than being obsessed with sports. Or being a druggie. That's excitement I don't need.

Not disagreeing with what you just said, I think we meant initially don't be boring, as in being able to make conversation and stuff like that.

 

[Anita18]

See that's something I don't understand. My friend, a female, said girls want the bad guys to be nice to them and not be pushovers, but my question is, why does the guy have to be bad? Why can't he be nice and not be a pushover?

This reminds me of a thread I made about judging the real side of a person. Does it matter how a guy acts if he's nice to the girl. Meaning, if he's a sweetheart to the girl, but a jerk to everyone else, does that even matter, or do girls look for the guy that treats her like he treats everyone else?

Maybe she meant girls want guys to be badass. I don't like bad boys, I think they're stupid. Why do people need unnecessary drama? But me and my friends aren't your typical "hotties," so I guess the opinions of smart nerdy average girls don't count?

Yes it does matter to me if the guy is a out-and-out jerk to other people. For one, he wouldn't have lasted through the first date with me. I'm not won over by a guy being super-cheesy-nice to me on the first date, I've still got my walls up. Therefore I'll observe how he acts around everyone else instead.