*Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[katie_girl09]

Agreed, she probably doesn't like not being in a relationship, and probably stays in the old one until she finds a better one.

I'd say go for it. Put the spurs to her.

Trust me, I'm French.

Even if that is the case, would you really want someone that clingy and insecure? Or maybe (and most likely) it is something else as well. You can't really know, so the smartest thing to do is to stay away and wait for her to make up her mind. She doesn't even really sound like that great of a catch if she's coming on to you while still with her boyfriend anyway.

 

[LouFerignoDemon]

She also may be considering leaving her boyfriend currently. It's highly not uncommon to see people stay with those they don't really care for, before letting go for someone new. It's not a most likely something else situation. Him deciding after they got close to suddenly push her away to give her space is hands down the most dumb thing he can do. If he wants to pursue a relationship with her, what he -should- do is actually converse with her on it.

 

[katie_girl09]

She also may be considering leaving her boyfriend currently. It's highly not uncommon to see people stay with those they don't really care for, before letting go for someone new. It's not a most likely something else situation. Him deciding after they got close to suddenly push her away to give her space is hands down the most dumb thing he can do. If he wants to pursue a relationship with her, what he -should- do is actually converse with her on it.

(1) My point was that we can't really know what the situation is.
(2) When did I say that he should "push her away"? I'm saying that he should let her make up her mind and not push it. If he wants, he can even tell her that this is what he is doing. It's not dumb, it's called respecting her relationship with her current boyfriend. I think that as far as relationships go, it is best to remember that what goes around usually comes around too.

 

[Paradoxium]

It's hard to feel guilty if you genuinely didn't know, and you find out from say her "friend"

 

[LouFerignoDemon]

Even if that is the case, would you really want someone that clingy and insecure? Or maybe (and most likely) it is something else as well. You can't really know, so the smartest thing to do is to stay away and wait for her to make up her mind. She doesn't even really sound like that great of a catch if she's coming on to you while still with her boyfriend anyway.

That's where.

And our point is, in a relationship advice thread, for people who've possibly found themselves in this situations, or had friends who've had such relationship issues, is this.

But the dude has multiple points of advice now. I just hope whatever he picks works, since he seems to dig the chick.

 

[katie_girl09]

It's hard to feel guilty if you genuinely didn't know, and you find out from say her "friend"

Holy cow!

 

[katie_girl09]

That's where.

And our point is, in a relationship advice thread, for people who've possibly found themselves in this situations, or had friends who've had such relationship issues, is this.

But the dude has multiple points of advice now. I just hope whatever he picks works, since he seems to dig the chick.

Staying away is not necessarily the same thing as pushing someone away.

I don't understand what you mean?

 

[LouFerignoDemon]

Staying away is not necessarily the same thing as pushing someone away.

I don't understand what you mean?

Staying away sort of does imply highly reduced contact, to prevent any accidents from occurring.

And I meant we might've been in this situation, or known people to be in this situation, and our advice stems from this.

 

[Paradoxium]

Some girls are like that, they don't like to be "alone", and prefer to have a fail-safe and hop relationships (i.e. "upgrades").

As for why? Dunno, not sure I care, just notice it.

 

[katie_girl09]

Okay. I see what you mean with the last bit. But I have experience in these kinds of matters as well. A lot more than I care to. Believe me.

You know what I meant about "stay away". I've elaborated. Anyway, it doesn't matter.

 

[LouFerignoDemon]

No, we're good now. The guy has info to work off of. I just hope it works for him.

Though, ultimately, the girl might just be playing him. Which warrants a tasering.

 

[Paradoxium]

Sometimes girls are so cruel to the less experienced guys with their attention ****ing antics

 

[E-Man]

Do tell her next time you told us you're ready to dwelve into her. See how she reacts.

E-Man, never delve into a girl without wearing a condom.

Since when did delve into someone mean sex? I've always meant it as getting to know a person, and delve means to delve into their psyche to find out more about them.

 

[katie_girl09]

Suuuuure...

 

[LouFerignoDemon]

Since when did delve into someone mean sex? I've always meant it as getting to know a person, and delve means to delve into their psyche to find out more about them.

I didn't mean sex. Looking back at it, it sorta looks like I did though.

I meant tell her how much you're already looking forward to marrying her, fathering children by her, growing old and junk.

 

[E-Man]

Haha screw marriage for awhile. I don't want to get too far ahead of myself. I used to do that crap all the time though. I'd meet a chick that I thought was so "unique" and "different" and I'd be like, "She's the one." Thank God I stopped doing that crap after high school. lol

 

[LouFerignoDemon]

Haha screw marriage for awhile. I don't want to get too far ahead of myself. I used to do that crap all the time though. I'd meet a chick that I thought was so "unique" and "different" and I'd be like, "She's the one." Thank God I stopped doing that crap after high school. lol

Damn, and here I was hoping I could force you to chase her away, and prevent someone from escaping the hell of loneliness which I call home.

 

[E-Man]

Well if you like Mistress, I could grope her Arnold Schwarzenegger style, then I'd be a lonely panda again.

 

[Anita18]

Bottom line: Be patient and don't be a girlfriend-stealer. Because what goes around comes around and she already doesn't sound like a very stable girl.

Yup. This girl is gonna bring drama, I can tell. Of course, in my experience the sane, stable girls are not the ones who would do anything to make like they're leading a guy on hours after they've met him. But since they don't spill attention on guys right away, they often get ignored.

She's more comfortable to stay with him rather than drift into the unknown with the other guy.

I think she's comfortable with where she is. Meaning, she finds more pros staying with him than cons. Make of that what you will. Even physically abused girlfriends will use that as their rationale to stay.

Some girls are like that, they don't like to be "alone", and prefer to have a fail-safe and hop relationships (i.e. "upgrades").

As for why? Dunno, not sure I care, just notice it.

I know girls who can't be single. They like having the attention.

Even my best friend, who's in a long-term relationship flirts with a classmate she met in law school. She admits she likes the attention, and that "she's still got it." He knows she has a boyfriend though, so I think they just like the mutual attention even though she'd never cheat. What's sketchy is that I don't think her bf knows about this guy....

 

[Frodo]

Even my best friend, who's in a long-term relationship flirts with a classmate she met in law school. She admits she likes the attention, and that "she's still got it." He knows she has a boyfriend though, so I think they just like the mutual attention even though she'd never cheat. What's sketchy is that I don't think her bf knows about this guy....

Lol. I gotta say I've been guilty of flirting with women like your friend , though I don't waste my time with a taken girl beyond flirting .Then again I flirt alot of women so I guess I'm prone to trouble no matter what.

Anyway, your observations are spot on.

 

[BillyZaned]

Alrighty, the wife has been insuffrable lately.... moody as all hell, and just *****y about little things...

I get home the other day, and she bites me head off for not hangning my jacket up.... but, the house was a mess.... she was home the whole day and did nothing, except maybe two loads of laundry.... I know she's been working alot more lately, but she still doesn't even work 30 hours.... me on the other hand, two weeks ago, I worked 72 hours, this last week I worked 66, and between today and now, I have 19 hours in already.... but when I get home, I still "do stuff", like play with our 2 year old, or something "constructive"....

and don't get me started on the sex.... 2 times in the past 3 weeks.... pathetic....

 

[katie_girl09]

Some guys would feel very blessed indeed having that amount of sex.
As usual, this might get better if you both sit down and have a chit-chat, I think.

 

[Erzengel]

You know you two should like talk?

If she's being b'y about little things there's probably a bigger issue that's bugging her. Communication is key.

 

[BillyZaned]

Some guys would feel very blessed indeed having that amount of sex.
As usual, this might get better if you both sit down and have a chit-chat, I think.

that's the problem... she's very difficult to talk too.... we used to go see a counselor together to help us with this issue, but with me working so much, there's no time.... and I can't take off of work either... it's a touchy situation right now, since I'm most likely entering a transitional period... where I'm earning ground and experience at one, but contineing at another incase the other one doesn't pan out... ( I work 2 jobs)... plus, I've grown acustom to how much I make working 2 jobs....

the whole comminication barrier is this... I'm too much of a type A, and she's all over the place... most of the time, not saying a word, then swtiching to either overly aggresive, or overly emotional.... there's no typical middle ground where we could sit down, have a glass of wine, and just talk... there is no communication at this point...unless she's complaining about me doing something... I'm too loud in the morning when getting ready for work, I take up to much of the covers, I go to bed too early when I work construction (I have to be up at 3am!!!), we don't do anything fun liek go out anymore(we have a 2 year old!)...

She has to understand... our lifes are based at us making a certian income, the cars we drive, the condo we live in, the things we take for granted like having a big screen in the bedroom, front loader washer and drier, granite countertops.... those are all the fruits of our labor the last coupe years....

 

[BillyZaned]

the other thing I left out... is, her mother died about a 1 1/2 ago... and it's been a really strange ride with her morning the loss.... it affects her at the strangest times... not at holidays, or birthdays.... but just random days where there's nothing going on special... maybe that's normal? maybe not? luckily, I haven't gone through that yet...

I'm very honest too... and her mother was no saint.... she treated my wife like crap.... her sister was the favorite, and my wife was treated like a red headed step child.... they never helped her out growing up or anything..... and when we first started dating, she was on the verge of failing out of college, but I helped her rebound and get her college act together, and she graduated....