Return of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[JStorm]

Along with the be more aggressive comments, I would add that timing is also a factor. If you're waiting a while to get close to her that's waay to long ,and most likely, these women may have considered you a friend. I don't know your situations, but it may be that they may have expected you to make a move but you didn't so they moved on.

In other words, The next time you meet a girl you're interested in, act sooner . She may say no , but at least you'll know early on without getting worked up into thinking that you two are gonna hook up.

As far as getting out of the Bleh mood , i'd say just breathe, relax , take a critical look at what you may or may not be doing, learn from your mistakes , and meet new people. That's all you really can do .

Snape, this is some good advice. Along with being more agressive - only you can know if that is the case and/or will work - knowing as soon as possible does help the situation.

I may be too deep in my own **** and this could come off as presumptuous, but keep in mind that you may need to be vigilant to every little detail.


What do I mean?

Being aggressive and getting to the issues sooner isn't an end-all idea. You may get some bull****. You may get some vague response. Who knows. Not every person will be forthcoming as you would like the to be.

In my current predicament, I've heard this statement said over and again: "maybe she is too scared to tell you that she's not into it anymore. . maybe she doesn't want to hurt your feelings."

Again - your life is not mine - or anyone else that has given you some advice. But be mindful, open, objective and don't over analyze. For fact, I can tell you, that **** will kill you slowly.

 

[ComicChick]

And I wanted the next thread to be called. Return of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread.

merry christmas

 

[ComicChick]

What is your opinion on girls who have extensive comic book knowledge? I am one and guys find it "awesome", but its hard to find someone who actually knows as much as I do.

i am one too. only like 1 or 2 of my friends actually know this. i know more about comics and sports than most guys i know

 

[A Necessary Evil]

It sounds like you aren't being aggressive enough.

thanks guys, I'll do it

 

[Erzengel]

merry christmas

It's closer to Valentine's Day than Christmas.

Speaking of, I usually send a bouquet on VD. But I was told not to after last year because she felt bad that no one else on the floor got flowers.

That was my favorite part though. Now if I get flowers only the cat will know how lucky she is.

The cat already knows this.

 

[steintym]

I love sending stuff to my wife's work. One of the cool things is having everyone else see a good guy you are. My wife loves it, too.

 

[Anubis]

Oh yeah? What did the DC Super Villain Copperhead like to collect?

The answer is vintage transistor radios.

 

[ComicChick]

It's closer to Valentine's Day than Christmas.

Speaking of, I usually send a bouquet on VD. But I was told not to after last year because she felt bad that no one else on the floor got flowers.

That was my favorite part though. Now if I get flowers only the cat will know how lucky she is.

The cat already knows this.

don't call it VD, when i see VD I'm not thinking of Valentines Day

 

[Kane52630]

don't call it VD, when i see VD I'm not thinking of Valentines Day

You're thinking of volume of distribution?

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

You played it right dude. You called her out on her shenanigans and now she is ********. Good for you and now stay away from her.

Thanks man. Yea, I know I handled the situation right, but it is easier said than done. I got a thousand different things running through my mind about her, some good some bad, thinking about other people's takes on the situation combined with my own, and different ways the situation could have been handled that maybe would have led to a different outcome, but in the end it always comes back around to all the times her and I were together, all the things that she did with me that made me fall for her, and so I'm always just like stuck with those thoughts. Doesn't help that everyday on campus I walk by the spots that her and I used to hang out for hours at a time, or that every night at work the store plays sappy country songs that her and I used to listen to together or she'd sing around me.

In the end, I had to do what I did and I don't regret it.

For what it's worth, I've already found the next girl to reject me

 

[JStorm]

Thanks man. Yea, I know I handled the situation right, but it is easier said than done. I got a thousand different things running through my mind about her, some good some bad, thinking about other people's takes on the situation combined with my own, and different ways the situation could have been handled that maybe would have led to a different outcome, but in the end it always comes back around to all the times her and I were together, all the things that she did with me that made me fall for her, and so I'm always just like stuck with those thoughts. Doesn't help that everyday on campus I walk by the spots that her and I used to hang out for hours at a time, or that every night at work the store plays sappy country songs that her and I used to listen to together or she'd sing around me.

In the end, I had to do what I did and I don't regret it.

For what it's worth, I've already found the next girl to reject me

At least you have good spirits and can look at it that way. . even in jest.

I'm so screwed; I can't even fathom another lady at this point. I would just bring too much personal drama into a new friend/relationship that it wouldn't be fair to the other person.

 

[Erzengel]

Well once you break it off with the previous girl, and make no attempts to establish contact, you should be fine.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Well once you break it off with the previous girl, and make no attempts to establish contact, you should be fine.

Me or JStorm?

 

[Erzengel]

JStorm. You seem to have everything in hand. Hope things go smoothly when you try the next girl.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Thanks. It's certainly hard, she did a good job getting herself into my heart and into my mind, and it's not easy getting her out, but finally confronting the situation and cutting her out completely was the only way it was going to happen. I was probably even too nice to her - I still left the door open for her if she ever changes her mind and wants me to be a part of her life, and wants to actually put effort into being a part of mine, but simply put I had to stop waiting for her to decide that she was ready for me and her to develop something. I was never going to allow myself to move on to something else if I was still kicking it around in my head that her and I *might* be together. So I left the door open for her if she decides she wants to put forth some effort, but at the same time, I am no longer sitting around waiting for it.

I have my own take on the situation between her and I, and how she really feels, and why she acted the way she did, and so I acted in the way that I felt was best, and I don't regret anything I did the entire time with her. It didn't end the way I wanted it to, and it certainly hurts, but it's time to let go and move on. Surely there's something better for me out there, and I intend to find it.

 

[Anubis]

Statistically? There's not.

 

[Alex The Great]

My wallet and I despise Valentines Day

I have no idea what to get her

 

[Anubis]

Whatever you do, don't get her a *****e Bag. Learned that one the hard way.

 

[Alex The Great]

Whatever you do, don't get her a *****e Bag. Learned that one the hard way.

Good thing I kept the receipt then

 

[steintym]

Whatever you do, don't get her a *****e Bag. Learned that one the hard way.

Uh oh ...

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Statistically? There's not.

Well I'm still naive enough to be optimistic

 

[Anubis]

If you're lucky, you'll find somebody you can attain that delicate balance of livable hate.

Your own sweet little bundle of misery. It's the best we can all hope for.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Ha, well she certainly was a sweet little bundle of misery, lol

 

[JStorm]

Well once you break it off with the previous girl, and make no attempts to establish contact, you should be fine.

It's not really broken off; I just have to walk away and take this thing one day at a time.

From the last time she and I talked to this point, I've come to realize that she will not give me" a proper 'closure' answer - in the near future that is.

Best advice I got was from my cousin. I read off the last thing I said to the lady friend and my cousin said - "she might not see that as closure. . I didn't take it that way." It got me thinking on what to do. I still haven't spoken to her, even after I tried to "talk it out" with her. When I ran down what her response was, my cousin said "you may need to be a bit of an ass and text her; tell her - in so many words - that you are a big boy and can handle whatever is going on in her head. If you don't, the way I take the last conversation, she could easily call you it two, three, or four weeks and assume things can be picked up again."

Basically, she put it in a nice way, indicative of what AmazingFantasy has been saying: I'm a good guy with no "new relationship" drama, that can be 'used' whenever she needs/wants that 'boyfriend' moment. Sadly, that is not a real relationship.

I may not be a jerk to her; but the last things she said to me was "I can't talk about this right now. . next week is slow for me." Those statements - to me - state she would like to talk more on the topic and that she will be in touch. However, if there is still NO CONTACT, I feel like she is deliberately being vague, stringing me along, and I need to be flat out with her and ask "if this IS NOT going anywhere for you than just say it."


Meh.

 

[BH/HHH]

Ahhh maybe this is where I should have asked for advice on my problem.

So basically I like this redhead (irrelevant I know) at work, and I talk to her alot. But I dont know how to approach things with her. Do I just casually ask her out on a date, do I get her on a work night out then make a move? something else?