Revenge of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

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This is a continuation thread, the old thread is [split]367407[/split]

 

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This is a continuation thread, the old thread is [split]357581[/split]

 

[Erzengel]

1. I think Spideyville was just making a joke.

2. Vivien Leigh was also a certifiable nut case.

3. I think a lot of guys wouldn't tolerate a vapid attractive girl with no substance. The schtick gets old no matter how great the sex is.

 

[Cuyan]

I think a lot of guys wouldn't tolerate a vapid attractive girl with no substance. The schtick gets old no matter how great the sex is.

Took roughly three years for me.

Ahh, young me, what an idiot.

 

[Cuyan]

I have an aversion to the word "love". I find it to be overused in modern society and, as such, find myself hardly ever wanting to use it. This is difficult as I am in a relationship.

Anyone else have something similar?

 

[Erzengel]

Eh. I don't throw around easily.

I always say "love" to my family and other loved ones.

I mean who cares if everyone else misuses or cheapens the word. As long as it's special to you, that's all that matters.

 

[Cuyan]

I mean who cares if everyone else misuses or cheapens the word. As long as it's special to you, that's all that matters.

Sometimes my significant other is the one doing the cheapening.

It's not a monumental issue or anything of that nature. Just a little quirk for me.

 

[Godzilla2000]

Took roughly three years for me.

Ahh, young me, what an idiot.

When I was in my twenties I thought by now I'd have like 10 kids by now. I guess the one thing that hasn't changed is the fact I just want to be a man's system of support and encouragement at home. I'm hoping all these mental and physical tests I'm going through right now are preparing me to be a stronger person to fulfill that role for someone?

As far as using the words "I love you." to someone, it's a nice sentiment when it's genuine. But it's a phrase that just gets so overused it's criminal! I guess for me what would really show me a man loves me is not by the words they use but by their actions and whether or not they make me feel comfortable in my own skin. The word Love is such a small word that can't possibly describe the emotions you feel when your with that one special person.

 

[Cuyan]

As far as using the words "I love you." to someone, it's a nice sentiment when it's genuine. But it's a phrase that just gets so overused it's criminal! I guess for me what would really show me a man loves me is not by the words they use but by their actions and whether or not they make me feel comfortable in my own skin. The word Love is such a small word that can't possibly describe the emotions you feel when your with that one special person.

This is basically my belief. Actions truly do speak louder than words.

 

[steintym]

I actually find myself using it more than ever these days. Things changed for me over a year ago when my son was born.

I grew up in a great family and love my parents tremendously, but showing affection and expressing feelings was not a strong suit.

I really don't want to be uptight about that with my son. I go out of my way to tell I love him and show affection towards him.

Done being sappy now - Ha ha

 

[Cuyan]

Having a child is the perfect reason for a change like this. I fully support this sentiment.

 

[SpideyVille]

1. I think Spideyville was just making a joke.

Yup.

I have an aversion to the word "love". I find it to be overused in modern society and, as such, find myself hardly ever wanting to use it. This is difficult as I am in a relationship.

Anyone else have something similar?

I knew someone who always said that people today throw around the word "love" like it was a piece of candy, which I sort of came to agree with. And I've noticed that its hard for me to use the word when regarding to people, possibly because my family never went around saying we love each other, and also because I don't truly feel like I love anybody in my family.

But I have a friend who I don't really see myself too close with, but sometimes she says she loves me (as a friend obviously) and I never know what to make of it or how to reply to that. I mean she's one of my better friends, but I've never felt like I've ever done anything to warrant being loved.

But knowing myself, when I am in a long committed relationship, I can definitely see myself saying it a lot.

 

[SpideyVille]

This is basically my belief. Actions truly do speak louder than words.

I agree, I would much rather prefer a girl never say she loves me, but show me that she does, as opposed to one who always says it but doesn't show it.

 

[Erzengel]

I prefer both. It's nice to hear it.

 

[Anita18]

I prefer both. It's nice to hear it.

Indeed.

 

[Cuyan]

Obviously it's preferable to have both. Personally, the actions simply mean more.

 

[SpideyVille]

Obviously it's preferable to have both. Personally, the actions simply mean more.

Yeah, this is what I meant. Both are great, but if you can only have one or the other, actions are better because you can prove the feeling exist as opposed to just saying it with empty words.

 

[bullets]

I prefer both but if the actions aren't there , words become meaningless.

I don't want to date anyone new. There's seven billion people on this planet, but all I want is to get my ex back. I miss her so bad. I feel like an arm or leg, a part of me, has been amputated. I dream about her every night. It's getting so bad and I'm so lonely without her, I'm scared of how dark my thoughts are getting. Every book I read or TV show I watch seems to have something that reminds me of her. And I'm the one who broke up with her! I'm such a ****ing idiot. I'll never forgive myself for this. And yes, I tried calling her and e-mailing her, and no she's not having it.

I had my heart broken in college once. And that was love. But this was something different. We were going to get married. This was a family member and my future. This is a hundred times worse. I'm not sure I can go on.

I feel the same way about my ex. Only the situation is that I committed a crime , confessed , she felt I was " Living a lie" with her and I got kicked out. I can't get into details but left under the impression I was going to jail and drove to my parents house here in Florida. We would still talk on the phone for a couple months but she would end up crying and eventually asked me to stop calling altogether.
So I "moved on" and wound up dating a girl down here. I was obvious to this other woman I still had feelings for my ex. I really want her back but there's nothing I can do. At the same time I deserve it. Our relationship was a little rocky towards the end because I was having issues with depression.
So , I don't know what to do. I reached out a couple times but she won't respond. For some reason i still have hope and can't let go.

 

[Godzilla2000]

Well, I guess this is a hold out from the post I made in the last thread but I'd been thinking of it for a bit today. Anyways, if I've become friends with anyone, male or female, who I can totally trust and not be betrayed by, I am committed and loyal to them to the point of being their crusader. That said, if ever a man or woman hurts my friend with their actions and behavior towards him or her I certainly hope they have some pretty High Grade Earplugs because I will not pull any punches about their flippant conduct towards my friend in my presence. I don't care if she/he is their spouse or whatnot. I don't like knowing that a friend is hurting because of someone else's selfish vanity.

 

[Erzengel]

I'm very big on principles. Almost to the point of it being seen as a negative thing. Unwaivering, obstinate, I usually don't hold back on my opinion.

I knew someone who's best friend, looked her over as maid of honor because another friend would be SO upset if she wasn't chosen. She was fine with it, less work for her to do. Then this same friend had a child, said, hey you're going to be the godmother. Then, the friend's mother picks the godmother for her. Her friend is upset yet, so desperate to make everyone happy and choose the decision that would make the least amount of people happy, apologizes to my friend but is unwilling to go against her family.

To this day, I think my words and beliefs, helped ruin that friendship. There was other stuff that went down but in the end, I think if I wasn't around at least the friendship would have lasted a little longer.

That being said, there's a time and a place to voice an opinion. If one of my friends is having a relationship troubles, I talk to my friend not their spouse/sig other. Sometimes it's not your place (if doesn't involve some sort of abusive behavior), I assume my friend can handle their own business. And stepping in to talk to the spouse/sig other can cause more trouble than you realize.

 

[Godzilla2000]

That being said, there's a time and a place to voice an opinion. If one of my friends is having a relationship troubles, I talk to my friend not their spouse/sig other. Sometimes it's not your place (if doesn't involve some sort of abusive behavior), I assume my friend can handle their own business. And stepping in to talk to the spouse/sig other can cause more trouble than you realize.

Well, if it's happening behind close doors and I'm not there yes, it is something that should be between my friend and his wife. I would lend my opinions if my male friend were to ask them of me. But if she starts her crap if he refuses to give her the money or the credit card for something totally expensive and totally unneeded when I'm there and it's pretty obvious my male friend is greatly distressed by it to the point of it causing him pain I'm just not going to sit back and let her rip into him. I've been in situations before way back when I was a teen where I had friends who were in caustic relationships that were killing them on the inside. I just can't be passive in that sort of situation, I don't care if it is a wife.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

I think using hypnotic techniques to mess with the mind of anyone, in order to mess up their relationship, well, those actions are pure evil, no two ways about it.
Especially, when the person/s know that the subject of their experiments is in a very vulnerable state of mind due to physical damage being inflicted on their brain/mind over a prolonged period of time, and is therefore not in their real state of mind in the first place.

Anyone who does not take this into consideration - well, they are a party to this evil.

Anyone who spreads lies and twists the truth against this person, they're involved in actions of true evil as well.

edit: eh, fug it, i edited out the plastic surgery p.o.v., it's not as simple as i put it, and i can't be arsed talking about it anymore.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

There is a poster who comes in here all the time, has been ploughing the same groove for months, probably years, over 'what should i do blah blah...', everyone panders to him and babies him, giving him detailed advice and this and that and blah blah blah, when the real problem is...the guy has no guts. That is what it comes down to, you can give him all the advice in the world, but if he is just going to hang aorund pissing his pants to make a move, then it's just because he is scared.
I know what it's like to be scared, but i also know how to control my fear and get things done, i think this guy will be stuck in the same groove for years if he doesn't face up to this simple fact and do something about it.
That is all he needs to do, and this is the last piece of advice I'm gonna give him, cause no-one else is gonna say it. I had to put him on ignore cause i was sick of reading his self pitying mewling posts, it is sickening because there are people out there who have *real* problems when it comes to getting relationships off the ground, not just because they are a pantywaist.

 

[steintym]

Hmmmm ... I'm going to have to think about that one

 

[Erzengel]

I joke about this thread but in the end, everyone is going to do what they feel comfortable with.

Most people here are looking for verification for already pre-made decisions, looking to vent, or just looking to contribute.

But seriously, Bum, if you think you are the only who tells people exactly what they need to hear, then you haven't really been reading the threads that have come before it.

And to be honest, if people aren't commenting on this poster's posts maybe because people just ignore it now because they have been discussed ad nauseam.