Return of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[AndThePickles]

I don't even know what the situation is. He says he can't talk about it

By the way, if I had to guess, I would say that this "situation" he can't talk about is he's dating someone in real life. He's showing the warning signs.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I know. But I don't know how. It's not like I talk to people on the internet and go "Hey! Like me!" And I don't tell myself to like some of them back.

I'm seriously considering dumping the guy I've been talking about, but I'm still not sure. I don't want to hurt him. He's been hurt enough and I know how it feels so I don't want to bring that upon anyone.

Maybe there's a reason he's been hurt in the past because he doesn't know how to treat a girl right in a relationship. He should've already visited you.

This whole situation sucks. And to make matters worse my 15 year old friend from Hawaii has a crush on me...I'll tell him no, of course, but it makes me wonder: why am I so attractive to guys who live far away and not to guys who live where I do?

This shows you obviously have something to offer, maybe in real life you just a little too shy or get nervous and stumble over your words. That's how I was. However, on the internet you've got more time to think about responses and it's "safer" in terms of feelings. You've got to do whatever you're doing online and convert it into real life. Long distance internet relationships aren't going to work out, 99 times out of 100. Stop putting yourself in these situations and find someone in real life.

 

[Anita18]

If you don't want to ever hurt anyone then don't date. Because honestly, it's a possible scenario of any relationship you enter into.

Bottom line, you're not happy. Don't keep him around because you're afraid of hurting him. He's a big boy, I'm sure he can handle it. Remember, he's not giving you what you need in a relationship.

Not only that, it's impossible for Angel to make him happy because he won't let her. So she can't give him what he needs in a relationship either.

It's time to let go.

This shows you obviously have something to offer, maybe in real life you just a little too shy or get nervous and stumble over your words. That's how I was. However, on the internet you've got more time to think about responses and it's "safer" in terms of feelings. You've got to do whatever you're doing online and convert it into real life. Long distance internet relationships aren't going to work out, 99 times out of 100. Stop putting yourself in these situations and find someone in real life.

That describes me to a tee and I've still dated people in real life. (Not many, but you only need one... )

All you need is a willingness to put yourself out there and give someone a chance. Even if "putting yourself out there" means online dating and "giving someone a chance" means, "Eh, he's not that annoying and I don't have anything better to do." Both of which pertain to me and how I got with my current boyfriend.

You don't need to be more social or more suave or more pretty or anything of the sort. Just get yourself out there somehow and give someone a chance to impress you.

 

[The Incredible Hulk]

So here's one for you. LOL

I am 13 years older than my current girlfriend. I'm in my mid 30's, she's in her early 20's. Things have been going really well for a while now, we've exchanged "the word", etc. She wants me to meet her parents for the first time this weekend at some party they're having. I'm nervous as hell about this, mostly because I'm actually closer to her father's age (10 years apart) then I am my gf's, and I have a 3 year old daughter from when I was married previously. It's not like I'm really ashamed of any of my past or the fact that I date someone who's so much younger, and our relationship isn't a surprise to them. I just have this feeling of dread all of a sudden.

Any advice on how I should play this one?

 

[Erzengel]

Be respectful and probably limit as many PDAs as you can. Probably don't drink and steer clear of any controversial topics.

 

[The Incredible Hulk]

Be respectful and probably limit as many PDAs as you can. Probably don't drink and steer clear of any controversial topics.

Did I mention this is a Mardi Gras party at her parent's "social club" and her family is Irish?

 

[Anita18]

Did I mention this is a Mardi Gras party at her parent's "social club" and her family is Irish?

Maybe they'll be more drunk than you, then you'll be in the clear!

At any rate, if your gf has already told your parents about you (about your age, about your daughter) then the hard part's already pretty much done. So don't sweat it.

 

[Erzengel]

Well if they haven't met him yet, it's best to put his best foot forward in terms of a first impression.

 

[The Incredible Hulk]

Maybe they'll be more drunk than you, then you'll be in the clear!

from what I hear they like to party

At any rate, if your gf has already told your parents about you (about your age, about your daughter) then the hard part's already pretty much done. So don't sweat it.

I'm pretty sure my parents know how old I am, they were kind of there

But I get what you're saying. It's not like they don't already know about me, it's not like it's gonna be "surprise, here's my divorced older bf with a kid!" I'm sure if they had issues, they'd have vocalized them by now.

 

[Anita18]

from what I hear they like to party

I'm pretty sure my parents know how old I am, they were kind of there

But I get what you're saying. It's not like they don't already know about me, it's not like it's gonna be "surprise, here's my divorced older bf with a kid!" I'm sure if they had issues, they'd have vocalized them by now.

typos.

Anyways yeah, although I'm sure your gf would be more aware of potential awkwardness than you since they're her parents. Just talk to her about it, she'll probably assuage some of those fears.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Did I mention this is a Mardi Gras party at her parent's "social club" and her family is Irish?

Well then drink, but not to excess. You're in your 30's you should know how to do that by now.

 

[AndThePickles]

I agree, be VERY careful of how much you drink. I'd carry a drink and sip it to be social, but that's it.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I agree, be VERY careful of how much you drink. I'd carry a drink and sip it to be social, but that's it.

Unless it's like the first time I met my girlfriends parents and her dad got me a shot, then continued to buy me a beer everytime my current one was looking even close to empty. Then you're kinda screwed.

 

[Eggyman]

My missus, well, her dad, he wakes up on Christmas morning and straight away we're on the beer. I'm his excuse. My girlfriend's mam has him on a short bit of ragged rope so he can only drink when I do. I drink a lot when I'm there. Normally for his benefit.

 

[WillardNation]

@Angel_Faerie Ok so let me get this right, you're in a relationship with a guy over the internet that you've never met before?

 

[Angel_Faerie]

I was. Not anymore. And I feel like ****.

 

[WillardNation]

I was. Not anymore. And I feel like ****.

All I can say is, anybody who isn't anything more than a picture and words on a screen shouldn't have any kind of power to make you feel like ****.

 

[Anita18]

I was. Not anymore. And I feel like ****.

Good for you! And breakups always feel like **** no matter what. Take it a day at a time, and it's okay to feel like ****. Just don't drink yourself into a stupor - it won't help because you'll still feel bad after it wears off.

 

[Hound55]

Wait "DON'T" drink yourself into a stupor..?

Where were you when I was in my teens... for that matter, where was I? It's all one big blur now...

 

[Erzengel]

I was. Not anymore. And I feel like ****.

Just try and steer clear of any other relationships where someone isn't at the most 1 hour away.

 

[Gunga Diner]

So here's one for you. LOL

I am 13 years older than my current girlfriend. I'm in my mid 30's, she's in her early 20's. Things have been going really well for a while now, we've exchanged "the word", etc. She wants me to meet her parents for the first time this weekend at some party they're having. I'm nervous as hell about this, mostly because I'm actually closer to her father's age (10 years apart) then I am my gf's, and I have a 3 year old daughter from when I was married previously. It's not like I'm really ashamed of any of my past or the fact that I date someone who's so much younger, and our relationship isn't a surprise to them. I just have this feeling of dread all of a sudden.

Any advice on how I should play this one?

I don't have any real advice for you, but holy god can I relate. Meeting the parents has always been the thing that I'm awful at. I can be polite, friendly, intelligent, and respectful. I can even be witty when I need to. But the inherent suspicion that they'll inevitably have that I'm bad news makes it so hard.

Can I blame them? Of course not. I'm dating their baby, and they don't want her to be with some creep. I know that I care about the girl and that I'm (more or less) not a creep. But it's hard for me to function well in situations where there's a grown-up who is waiting for me to screw up. Even if I don't have anything to hide or be ashamed of. The pressure makes it hard for me to impress them.

 

[ComicChick]

proud of you A_F

 

[Angel_Faerie]

I don't feel very proud of myself. I feel like a massive *****.

 

[Anita18]

I don't feel very proud of myself. I feel like a massive *****.

I know the feeling, but in time you'll realize that you just can't help everyone. And in such a case, the most you can do is help yourself.

 

[Harls]

I know the feeling, but in time you'll realize that you just can't help everyone. And in such a case, the most you can do is help yourself.

Best advice I've heard in a while