Return of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[Gentleman Owl]

Well I never share a bed with friends and I rarely share my things or buy my friends gifts, or whatever. But really I probably did more fun things when I hung out with friends than I did with her. I mean I'd have much better conversations with her and be able to trust her a whole lot more. But apart from that.

 

[LOBO3315a]

And if you were restricting what you were doing and who you talked to for this girl, I would consider it kind of a crap friendship as well.

QFT. Never again will I stop talking to or hanging out with a certain kind of person because the person I'm having sex with doesn't approve.

 

[Anubis]

You say that now, but you probably will do it again.

 

[Hound55]

Quid Ho Bro.

Not to be confused with Quid Bro Ho...

 

[Hound55]

Quid Ho Bro.

Not to be confused with Quid Bro Ho...

 

[AndThePickles]

A great relationship is something that provides a deep love that you cannot just have from a friendship. There is also something very wonderful and incredibly intimate about having sex with someone you are truly in love with as opposed to just casual sex when you aren't in love.

Your significant other in this case will not "complete" you, rather, love you for who you are and enhance you and your life. They are someone you could live without but would never want to.

Doing "corny things" for one another is unnecessary, but doing romantic things can be fun at times.

 

[Anita18]

A great relationship is something that provides a deep love that you cannot just have from a friendship. There is also something very wonderful and incredibly intimate about having sex with someone you are truly in love with as opposed to just casual sex when you aren't in love.

Your significant other in this case will not "complete" you, rather, love you for who you are and enhance you and your life. They are someone you could live without but would never want to.

Doing "corny things" for one another is unnecessary, but doing romantic things can be fun at times.

The sweetest thing my bf did for me this week was move my big bookcase over from my old place to our new place while I was in class ad when I had completely planned (although totally did not look forward to) on doing together. Earned him a very positive Facebook status message and . That's right, three hearts.

I still don't hold out hope for him being capable of any classically "romantic" things, but I think I appreciate a moved bookcase more.

 

[AndThePickles]

Yeah, I think that the most romantic things are not the classicly "corny" things, but things that are romantic specifically to you. Thoughtfulness goes a long way!

 

[Gentleman Owl]

But love is just a feeling. And so much is happening internally in a relationship I have no idea if I'm feeling love or lust or nothing at all. And it's nonsense when people say 'if you're in love, you don't need to question it...you just know.'. Love doesn't make sense, if it does make sense it can't be love. That's about the only way I can understand what love is.

Maybe it was just different because she only stayed with me over the weekend and then for three - five days we just texted now and then. Maybe if she lived with me all day everyday I'd feel the sense of loss as something greater. Maybe as next weekend rolls around and I find myself with 2 - 4 days more on my hands I'll notice it more and miss her more and hurt more.

 

[AndThePickles]

Perhaps you've never been in love, then. Looking back over the people I've dated in the past, I can certainly tell the difference between infatuation/lust and love. It's a "feeling," yes, but it's much deeper and less conditional than simple infatuation.

 

[SpideyVille]

Perhaps you've never been in love, then. Looking back over the people I've dated in the past, I can certainly tell the difference between infatuation/lust and love. It's a "feeling," yes, but it's much deeper and less conditional than simple infatuation.

I think a lot of people can say the same thing with hindsight, but in the moment, can you really tell when you're just infatuated with someone? I mean isn't it usually after a breakup or some time passing that you can look back and realize that it wasn't love? I know for me, I've gone back and wondered why I've even went after some girls even though I thought they were great at the time. It usually isn't until after it falls apart that I realize that what I thought was there was never really there to begin with.

 

[Gentleman Owl]

I think a lot of people can say the same thing with hindsight, but in the moment, can you really tell when you're just infatuated with someone? I mean isn't it usually after a breakup or some time passing that you can look back and realize that it wasn't love? I know for me, I've gone back and wondered why I've even went after some girls even though I thought they were great at the time. It usually isn't until after it falls apart that I realize that what I thought was there was never really there to begin with.

I think this is exactly what I am feeling right now. And it hurts like hell.

 

[AndThePickles]

I think a lot of people can say the same thing with hindsight, but in the moment, can you really tell when you're just infatuated with someone? I mean isn't it usually after a breakup or some time passing that you can look back and realize that it wasn't love? I know for me, I've gone back and wondered why I've even went after some girls even though I thought they were great at the time. It usually isn't until after it falls apart that I realize that what I thought was there was never really there to begin with.

I wouldn't say that I'm "infatuated" with my current boyfriend. After almost 6 years, that phase is long over lol. I love him very much and the emotional level of the relationship moved past just being infatuated. I was never one of those girls who would just casually tell the guy they were dating that they "loved" them (I only made that mistake once, and like you said, afterwards realized that I didn't truly love the guy. I think that when you are young, it's very easy to do, for sure.). But I was usually well aware of when I was just "lusting" for someone and infatuated with them when we went out.

 

[terry78]

The sweetest thing my bf did for me this week was move my big bookcase over from my old place to our new place while I was in class ad when I had completely planned (although totally did not look forward to) on doing together. Earned him a very positive Facebook status message and . That's right, three hearts.

I still don't hold out hope for him being capable of any classically "romantic" things, but I think I appreciate a moved bookcase more.

Your subtlety never ceases to amaze.

 

[Anubis]

People often say "Just a feeling" but, when you get down to it, feelings are effin' awesome. Hell, they're how we know we're alive. Love, hate, happiness, jealousy. These are our driving forces. What gets us up in the morning. Love is only a feeling? That kinda makes love important, don't you think?

Also, Lust is awesome.

 

[Gentleman Owl]

It's one thing to get up in the morning and another entirely to want to wake up in the morning.

 

[Anubis]

Wisdom.

 

[Frodo]

I think being able to just waking up in the morning is something that shouldn't be taken for granted . Lust is also amazing...so is starbucks.

 

[Gentleman Owl]

I have no reason to wake up in the morning, so I just don't go to bed and wait a couple of days until I pass out.

 

[Frodo]

In that case , vodak and beautiful women are always a worthy vice to bid the time with.

 

[WillardNation]

I hooked up with a previous hook up today. We have nothing in common and I don't particularly like her but, goddamn, the sex is mindblowing.

 

[Anita18]

I wouldn't say that I'm "infatuated" with my current boyfriend. After almost 6 years, that phase is long over lol. I love him very much and the emotional level of the relationship moved past just being infatuated. I was never one of those girls who would just casually tell the guy they were dating that they "loved" them (I only made that mistake once, and like you said, afterwards realized that I didn't truly love the guy. I think that when you are young, it's very easy to do, for sure.). But I was usually well aware of when I was just "lusting" for someone and infatuated with them when we went out.

Yeah I think infatuation is more like, "Oooh this person is really cute/hot and they're going out with ME!"

Whereas when you love someone, you always want the best for them and you know that they always want the best for you. And I think that takes time and knowing someone very well. It's very comforting to know that when you're with someone, that's really all I can describe it as.

I hooked up with a previous hook up today. We have nothing in common and I don't particularly like her but, goddamn, the sex is mindblowing.

Whatever keeps ya coming back.

 

[Gentleman Owl]

I hooked up with a previous hook up today. We have nothing in common and I don't particularly like her but, goddamn, the sex is mindblowing.

This was kinda like the relationship I had just come out of. I mean when we first met, we had nothing in common, but were willing to enjoy each others activities and formed things in common. As time raged on, we were less willing to do this, which is natural I guess. To the point where we had pretty much nothing in common. However, consistent through the whole relationship was probably some of the greatest sex I've had in my entire life. It's like the moment we were in bed all of our differences vanished and we were completely in sync. And if society hadn't made it seem like relationships weren't majoritvely about sex, I'd probably say that was a good thing.

 

[Anubis]

Society? No, it really isn't just about sex. Sex drives wain. People get fat and bloated. That rash on your ass is a total turn off. If you can't find something that the two of you can enjoy together other than f**king, then that relationship is doomed. That's just common sense.

 

[Gentleman Owl]

We still had conversations, hung out, went on dates. I wasn't bored or whatever, but we certainly weren't enjoying it like we were in the first few months.