Return of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[Anita18]

It's a tough call, though. Some girls would get pissed if a guy didn't ask before kissing them. Not to be mean, but I'm assuming by the way Firm18 described the situation that he hasn't had much experience with women. If a man is going to go for a kiss without asking first or saying "I'd really like to kiss you" and then going for it, it has to be very smooth and not awkward. A hesitant kiss would be uncomfortable if she ended up not going for it...

When my bf first kissed me, it was completely out of the blue and totally awkward. We hadn't even held hands yet. My first thought (no lie) was, "Hmm, this is an interesting development..."

And you guys already know the extent of my patience with dorks! If that was MY reaction, probably any other girl would have immediately ran for the hills.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I'm sorry I read the first one too fast. I thought these were all just group gatherings.

Then you need to taker her on another date, I'm not sure what you done on the first outing if it was just "hanging out" or if you did go out to dinner or something, but you have to establish as a date and make sure she knows it. Throughout dinner, you have to kinda read her body language and demeanor to see if she's into you.

And then sometime during the date or at the end, plant one on her. You should be able to know what to do from there.

Yeah this is what you need to do. If you're worried about kissing her, figure out a way take a small walk with her and how she reacts to you holding her hand. You've got to initiate some physical contact soon, most people end up in the friend zone because they don't initiate physical contact soon enough. More and more I think the friend zone is just a defense mechanism for girls when guys send them mixed signals.

 

[LastSunrise1981]

I hadn't been in this thread for quite sometime, however, my "love life" if you will took an interesting turn. Although please be prepared for a long rambling post and some of it may or may not make sense, so just bare with me here while I sort it out on here. I apologize in advance for the long rambling post.

A while ago I was interested/talking to this one girl and needless to say I felt we had a lot in common, we are the same age, and on top of that I felt that there was a very strong connection in the same that maybe we could start dating. First time I asked her out she said "Well, we just wouldn't work". I left it at that and really didn't think much about it anymore. Eventually out of the blue she texts me thinking I am mad at her and we start talking again, she's flirting and I am flirting, we go out to dinner for my birthday, and we go to Karaoke that night as well. Now I know it's possible to misread people and everything, however, I know she had feelings for me and I could tell she did.

She would text me just to see how I was doing, brought me candy at my job, and etc, etc. Fast forward to one day during our texting conversations we got on the topic of anger. I said "Well, it takes a lot to get me angry. However, if I do get there my temper is similar to my dad's." She responds with "That's scary." I asked "why?" She went on to state that "She couldn't trust me, because x guy choked her, punched her, and slapped her whenever he got angry. I feel you would do the same to me."

That hurt me when she said that and I didn't even know how to respond to it honestly. So for about five days I didn't talk to her and then I figured maybe she was really, really hurt and she doesn't know who to trust. So I gave her the benefit of the doubt and gave her another chance.

She eventually tells me she's leaving for basic training and during this time she was adamant in not being in a relationship, and I believed her. However, it wasn't until I noticed a lot of strange things about her. First she had her birthday party and I was there to attend, do karaoke, and things ike that and ended up taking a picture with her and a picture with her, her father, and brother. I go on her facebook and see pictures of her with everyone else but me. I don't mind her pictures with her family, but she had a picture of her and HER other friends, but not me? I felt that was really insulting, but again I didn't say anything.

Well, I met this other girl who happened to see me do a Michael Jackson tribute and originally I did ask the previous girl if she would be my dancing partner. She didn't give me a yes or no answer, and I knew she had a lot on her plate at the time, so I didn't bother her about it again. I asked this other girl and she said she would love to be my dancing partner, we exchanged numbers, and went out a couple of times.

So I tell her about this girl I met and she gets PISSED, I mean she gets pissed off at me saying "Well, you asked me to be your dancing partner. Why did you ask her? I guess I don't have to be bothered with it anymore."

When I tell her that I knew she had a lot on her mind at that time and I didn't want to bother her about it, she said "Whatever. Very well then."

She eventually finds out about another girl who has a crush on me and gets pissed off at me again. "You need to tell her no!" is her exact words.

Fast forward to me being at Marble Slab and I see her with her new boyfriend and his son. I was very hurt, shocked, and those two reactions started to turn into anger and disgust at how I passed up on so many girls just so I wouldn't hurt her feelings. I mean I knew she liked me and I did like her, so I avoided any kind of potential relationships just so it wouldn't hurt her. She was pretty much telling me that I wasn't allowed to be happy, I wasn't allowed to date, and that it's all about her pretty much.

So I took her off my Facebook, deleted her number out of my phone, and she was trying to make me feel guilty. I feel like I did the right thing and come to find out she lurked through my Facebook e-mailing the girl(my dancing partner), going to applebees and talking about me there/asking the waitresses there about me, and so forth. My question to everyone here is, did I do the right thing and remove her from my life? I like to believe I did, but it sucks because I really, really liked her and I liked her parents, and her parents liked me as well.

 

[Erzengel]

I think she liked the attention you gave her and not necessarily you.

The only thing you did not necessarily wrong but you can chalk it up to experience is have this girl lead you on for as long as she did.

She sounds like a head case who was playing with you whether intentionally or not. When she said, I'm not looking to be in a relationship, it really sounds like she didn't want to be in a relationship with you.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

Guys, I really ****ed up.

 

[Anubis]

You should have then asked to bang her.

 

[Anubis]

Guys, I really ****ed up.

Pregnant, married, or dead hooker?

 

[Aesop Rocks]

Homewrecker.

 

[Anubis]

Ah. Well, not your fault. Your penis was just a means to an end.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

I feel so damn bad though.

She's been with this guy for 3 years, and her and I just met over the summer. We became really close when my dad died and she helped me through it. We eventually started talking a lot more often to where it go to where we needed to talk to each other, or something wouldn't feel right. She eventually told me she had feelings for me. I told her I did too.

The other night, things happened.

 

[WillardNation]

Spoiler

I hadn't been in this thread for quite sometime, however, my "love life" if you will took an interesting turn. Although please be prepared for a long rambling post and some of it may or may not make sense, so just bare with me here while I sort it out on here. I apologize in advance for the long rambling post.

A while ago I was interested/talking to this one girl and needless to say I felt we had a lot in common, we are the same age, and on top of that I felt that there was a very strong connection in the same that maybe we could start dating. First time I asked her out she said "Well, we just wouldn't work". I left it at that and really didn't think much about it anymore. Eventually out of the blue she texts me thinking I am mad at her and we start talking again, she's flirting and I am flirting, we go out to dinner for my birthday, and we go to Karaoke that night as well. Now I know it's possible to misread people and everything, however, I know she had feelings for me and I could tell she did.

She would text me just to see how I was doing, brought me candy at my job, and etc, etc. Fast forward to one day during our texting conversations we got on the topic of anger. I said "Well, it takes a lot to get me angry. However, if I do get there my temper is similar to my dad's." She responds with "That's scary." I asked "why?" She went on to state that "She couldn't trust me, because x guy choked her, punched her, and slapped her whenever he got angry. I feel you would do the same to me."

That hurt me when she said that and I didn't even know how to respond to it honestly. So for about five days I didn't talk to her and then I figured maybe she was really, really hurt and she doesn't know who to trust. So I gave her the benefit of the doubt and gave her another chance.

She eventually tells me she's leaving for basic training and during this time she was adamant in not being in a relationship, and I believed her. However, it wasn't until I noticed a lot of strange things about her. First she had her birthday party and I was there to attend, do karaoke, and things ike that and ended up taking a picture with her and a picture with her, her father, and brother. I go on her facebook and see pictures of her with everyone else but me. I don't mind her pictures with her family, but she had a picture of her and HER other friends, but not me? I felt that was really insulting, but again I didn't say anything.

Well, I met this other girl who happened to see me do a Michael Jackson tribute and originally I did ask the previous girl if she would be my dancing partner. She didn't give me a yes or no answer, and I knew she had a lot on her plate at the time, so I didn't bother her about it again. I asked this other girl and she said she would love to be my dancing partner, we exchanged numbers, and went out a couple of times.

So I tell her about this girl I met and she gets PISSED, I mean she gets pissed off at me saying "Well, you asked me to be your dancing partner. Why did you ask her? I guess I don't have to be bothered with it anymore."

When I tell her that I knew she had a lot on her mind at that time and I didn't want to bother her about it, she said "Whatever. Very well then."

She eventually finds out about another girl who has a crush on me and gets pissed off at me again. "You need to tell her no!" is her exact words.

Fast forward to me being at Marble Slab and I see her with her new boyfriend and his son. I was very hurt, shocked, and those two reactions started to turn into anger and disgust at how I passed up on so many girls just so I wouldn't hurt her feelings. I mean I knew she liked me and I did like her, so I avoided any kind of potential relationships just so it wouldn't hurt her. She was pretty much telling me that I wasn't allowed to be happy, I wasn't allowed to date, and that it's all about her pretty much.

So I took her off my Facebook, deleted her number out of my phone, and she was trying to make me feel guilty. I feel like I did the right thing and come to find out she lurked through my Facebook e-mailing the girl(my dancing partner), going to applebees and talking about me there/asking the waitresses there about me, and so forth. My question to everyone here is, did I do the right thing and remove her from my life? I like to believe I did, but it sucks because I really, really liked her and I liked her parents, and her parents liked me as well.

She's crazy. You made the right decision to delete her from your life. Now focus on all the other girls who like you.

I feel so damn bad though.

She's been with this guy for 3 years, and her and I just met over the summer. We became really close when my dad died and she helped me through it. We eventually started talking a lot more often to where it go to where we needed to talk to each other, or something wouldn't feel right. She eventually told me she had feelings for me. I told her I did too.

The other night, things happened.

You guys having feelings for each other is not you "****ing up". Sometimes people get over the person they're with and find someone else. It happens. No one's fault. If you guys like each other, go for it. I'm sure there's a reason she doesn't like her bf anymore anyway.

 

[Anubis]

I feel so damn bad though.

She's been with this guy for 3 years, and her and I just met over the summer. We became really close when my dad died and she helped me through it. We eventually started talking a lot more often to where it go to where we needed to talk to each other, or something wouldn't feel right. She eventually told me she had feelings for me. I told her I did too.

The other night, things happened.

Do you still have feelings for her?

 

[Erzengel]

I feel so damn bad though.

She's been with this guy for 3 years, and her and I just met over the summer. We became really close when my dad died and she helped me through it. We eventually started talking a lot more often to where it go to where we needed to talk to each other, or something wouldn't feel right. She eventually told me she had feelings for me. I told her I did too.

The other night, things happened.

You're a trollip.

 

[Anubis]

She's crazy. You made the right decision to delete her from your life. Now focus on all the other girls who like you.


You guys having feelings for each other is not you "****ing up". Sometimes people get over the person they're with and find someone else. It happens. No one's fault. If you guys like each other, go for it. I'm sure there's a reason she doesn't like her bf anymore anyway.

What he said.

I've been on both sides of this, and, you know, s**t happens. Sometimes you're the fool, and sometimes you're the bad guy.

 

[LastSunrise1981]

I think she liked the attention you gave her and not necessarily you.

The only thing you did not necessarily wrong but you can chalk it up to experience is have this girl lead you on for as long as she did.

She sounds like a head case who was playing with you whether intentionally or not. When she said, I'm not looking to be in a relationship, it really sounds like she didn't want to be in a relationship with you.

I thought about that. But, why would she get upset at the thought that other girls are interested in me? I mean, she got royally pissed off that the girl agreed to be my dancing partner and was interested in me, same with the other girl at my job, and then lurking through my friends list on Facebook and everything.

So there had to be some feelings there or else she wouldn't be acting the way she is now.

I was at her birthday party and I heard her tell another guy "I'm not interested in a relationship, I'm leaving for basic next month." But again, as I learned it is a learning experience for sure. It's a shame it went down like this because I did like her, I liked her parents, and her entire family in general.

 

[Anubis]

So bang her sister.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

You guys having feelings for each other is not you "****ing up". Sometimes people get over the person they're with and find someone else. It happens. No one's fault. If you guys like each other, go for it. I'm sure there's a reason she doesn't like her bf anymore anyway.

She instantly regretted it the second it happened, saying it'd be the end of her if he ever found out. Which I find impossible for him to find out unless she tells him.

Do you still have feelings for her?

Yes.

You're a trollip.

A what?

 

[Anubis]

It's euphemism like ****e, ****, etc.

 

[LastSunrise1981]

So bang her sister.

Tempting.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

I'm not a ****e, like she said "we were just two people in desperate need of making a connection with someone else".

No ****ing here. Unlike WillardNation.

 

[WillardNation]

Immediate regret is normal. She's still in a relationship and doesn't want to be a ****e. But the more she thinks about it and talks to you, the more she'll want to be with you. If you like her, help her along with that process.

And don't be jealous of my ****eness

 

[Anubis]

As human beings, we can justify doing just about anything. From sleeping with our best friends girl to genocide. Take that Dolphins!

 

[Erzengel]

I thought about that. But, why would she get upset at the thought that other girls are interested in me? I mean, she got royally pissed off that the girl agreed to be my dancing partner and was interested in me, same with the other girl at my job, and then lurking through my friends list on Facebook and everything.

So there had to be some feelings there or else she wouldn't be acting the way she is now.

I was at her birthday party and I heard her tell another guy "I'm not interested in a relationship, I'm leaving for basic next month." But again, as I learned it is a learning experience for sure. It's a shame it went down like this because I did like her, I liked her parents, and her entire family in general.

Well just because she didn't want to get in a relationship with you, doesn't mean she didn't want you to be with anyone else either. Yes, it's childish but that's what I'm putting my money on.

And it's nice to have attention on you, it makes one feel good and she liked the attention you showed her even though she knew she was leaving for basic training. It allowed her to let you give her that without having to get invested in you.

 

[LOBO3315a]

Spoiler

I hadn't been in this thread for quite sometime, however, my "love life" if you will took an interesting turn. Although please be prepared for a long rambling post and some of it may or may not make sense, so just bare with me here while I sort it out on here. I apologize in advance for the long rambling post.

A while ago I was interested/talking to this one girl and needless to say I felt we had a lot in common, we are the same age, and on top of that I felt that there was a very strong connection in the same that maybe we could start dating. First time I asked her out she said "Well, we just wouldn't work". I left it at that and really didn't think much about it anymore. Eventually out of the blue she texts me thinking I am mad at her and we start talking again, she's flirting and I am flirting, we go out to dinner for my birthday, and we go to Karaoke that night as well. Now I know it's possible to misread people and everything, however, I know she had feelings for me and I could tell she did.

She would text me just to see how I was doing, brought me candy at my job, and etc, etc. Fast forward to one day during our texting conversations we got on the topic of anger. I said "Well, it takes a lot to get me angry. However, if I do get there my temper is similar to my dad's." She responds with "That's scary." I asked "why?" She went on to state that "She couldn't trust me, because x guy choked her, punched her, and slapped her whenever he got angry. I feel you would do the same to me."

That hurt me when she said that and I didn't even know how to respond to it honestly. So for about five days I didn't talk to her and then I figured maybe she was really, really hurt and she doesn't know who to trust. So I gave her the benefit of the doubt and gave her another chance.

She eventually tells me she's leaving for basic training and during this time she was adamant in not being in a relationship, and I believed her. However, it wasn't until I noticed a lot of strange things about her. First she had her birthday party and I was there to attend, do karaoke, and things ike that and ended up taking a picture with her and a picture with her, her father, and brother. I go on her facebook and see pictures of her with everyone else but me. I don't mind her pictures with her family, but she had a picture of her and HER other friends, but not me? I felt that was really insulting, but again I didn't say anything.

Well, I met this other girl who happened to see me do a Michael Jackson tribute and originally I did ask the previous girl if she would be my dancing partner. She didn't give me a yes or no answer, and I knew she had a lot on her plate at the time, so I didn't bother her about it again. I asked this other girl and she said she would love to be my dancing partner, we exchanged numbers, and went out a couple of times.

So I tell her about this girl I met and she gets PISSED, I mean she gets pissed off at me saying "Well, you asked me to be your dancing partner. Why did you ask her? I guess I don't have to be bothered with it anymore."

When I tell her that I knew she had a lot on her mind at that time and I didn't want to bother her about it, she said "Whatever. Very well then."

She eventually finds out about another girl who has a crush on me and gets pissed off at me again. "You need to tell her no!" is her exact words.

Fast forward to me being at Marble Slab and I see her with her new boyfriend and his son. I was very hurt, shocked, and those two reactions started to turn into anger and disgust at how I passed up on so many girls just so I wouldn't hurt her feelings. I mean I knew she liked me and I did like her, so I avoided any kind of potential relationships just so it wouldn't hurt her. She was pretty much telling me that I wasn't allowed to be happy, I wasn't allowed to date, and that it's all about her pretty much.

So I took her off my Facebook, deleted her number out of my phone, and she was trying to make me feel guilty. I feel like I did the right thing and come to find out she lurked through my Facebook e-mailing the girl(my dancing partner), going to applebees and talking about me there/asking the waitresses there about me, and so forth. My question to everyone here is, did I do the right thing and remove her from my life? I like to believe I did, but it sucks because I really, really liked her and I liked her parents, and her parents liked me as well.

She's a head case. You did the right thing.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I thought about that. But, why would she get upset at the thought that other girls are interested in me? I mean, she got royally pissed off that the girl agreed to be my dancing partner and was interested in me, same with the other girl at my job, and then lurking through my friends list on Facebook and everything.

So there had to be some feelings there or else she wouldn't be acting the way she is now.

I was at her birthday party and I heard her tell another guy "I'm not interested in a relationship, I'm leaving for basic next month." But again, as I learned it is a learning experience for sure. It's a shame it went down like this because I did like her, I liked her parents, and her entire family in general.

Most girls at some point in their life get initiated into the famous Sorority Psi Chi Omega. They'll start doing very irrational things in the first few months to prove they belong, this was the case here probably. Forget about her, completely cut her out of your life and move on.