Shoot 'Em in the Head: The Zombie Survival Horror RPG IC Thread

[Keyser Soze]

"Curtis Green."

"I'm Matt," I say as I shake Rick's hand. "We'll just leave it at that for now. My last name is so common, you'd probably think I was feeding you a fake name."

I look out the window, watching for any movement. "We might want to block the doors and windows before the sun goes down."

"Why?"

Curtis and Matt exchange nervous glances.

"We'll tell you later," Curtis said, "Let us handle the doors and windows. You go up, get a shower and change into some clothes. You look like roadkill."

A lot of questions jump to mind, but instead I just nod, heading upstairs. I walk into my bedroom, and take a photo from the wall. I sit on my bed, and run my hand along the glass. Me, Lori and Carl, together.

"Where are you?"

 

[Byrd Man]

"Why?"

Curtis and Matt exchange nervous glances.

"We'll tell you later," Curtis said, "Let us handle the doors and windows. You go up, get a shower and change into some clothes. You look like roadkill."

A lot of questions jump to mind, but instead I just nod, heading upstairs. I walk into my bedroom, and take a photo from the wall. I sit on my bed, and run my hand along the glass. Me, Lori and Carl, together.

"Where are you?"

Curtis and I spend the next half hour blocking the windows and doors with everything we can find. I block the front door with a large dresser while Curtis slides the fridge over the back door. We even find some spare wood and tools in the backyard we manage to put to good use by nailing up the boards to cover the windows.

I hear movement from upstairs and Rick comes down in a new change of clothes and a freshly shaved face.

"Looks better on you than that hospital gown."

"Don't sell yourself short. You got some legs."

Curtis and Rick both chuckle. I tun to one of the pieces of furniture we didn't use to block the exits. "You might want to take a seat. This might take awhile to explain."

 

[wiegeabo]

"Yes, yes, yes, YES, YES, YES...and it's in the HOLE!!!" Is there any sound more satisfying then that soft clunk a goofball makes when you sink a long putt?

"And the crowd goes wild. RRROOOAAAAARRRRRR!!!!" That's when I notice a rustle in the trees off the fairway behind me. "Oops. I mean, rrroooaaaaarrrrr!!!!"

It's too late though, a couple of the recently passed decide to violate all rules of golf etiquette and interrupt my game.

"You two are just lucky this was the last hole or I'd complain to the sponsors." I pull the ball from the cup, slide it and my putter back in my bag, and start limping and moaning down the course. The too departed souls actually look confused for a second, and then start ignoring me.

Is there anything better then breaking par?

***

I stretch in my bed and feel my back pop. It's a satisfying sound after a good morning on the links. I get up and do a couple of quick stretches wondering if there's enough daylight for me to grab a bite to eat and hit the putting greens, or maybe knock out a couple of long ones on the range. Although, I should probably tend the garden in the back. Damn gophers...

CREAK

I stop moving on the spot at the sound, very glad I never got anyone to fix that stair. It's kept me from walking into some bad situations more than once or twice. Okay, three times for those of you keeping count.

Time for another performance. I clear my throat a couple of times, find my center, and...

"Uuuugghhhhrrr..."

 

[Byrd Man]

I climb up the steps of the Murray mansion, looking for the bed. My eyes catch a set of golf clubs. Of course he was a golfer, I mean he was in the best golf movie ever made! Take that, Adam Sandler.

"Uuuugghhhhrrr..."

I stop cold in the hallway, preparing to reach for my gun. No. A gun won't get me the Undead Kill of the Week. I opt for the golfbag next to me and pull out a driver. I swing forward as soon as I see the lumbering figure stumble out the bedroom.

 

[wiegeabo]

"Uuuggghhhrrr..."

WACK

"Ohhhh!

WACK

"Owe!"

WACK WACK WACK

"Oouch! Oof! OW! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!"

 

[Byrd Man]

"Uuuggghhhrrr..."

WACK

"Ohhhh!

WACK

"Owe!"

WACK WACK WACK

"Oouch! Oof! OW! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!"

Wait a minute. I've killed my fair share of the infected. I mean, seriously, we're talking triple digits here. And in that time, this is the first time I've heard one of them talking. I stop mid-swing and look down.

"Oh, my God! You're still alive!"

 

[wiegeabo]

"Yeah, I'm still alive. Thanks for trying to fix that, geez."

 

[Byrd Man]

"Holy Christ!"

I reach down and help him up.

"You're Bill Murray! I am a huge fan of your movies! I mean, I've liked you even since, well ever since I been *********ing....not that they're related. But that chick in Caddyshack, boy was she smoking hot. Listen to me, rambling on like that. Only twelve people left in the world, and one of them is Bill Murray!"

 

[wiegeabo]

Beating me over the head with a stick while singing my praises. Yep, he's a fan.

"Well, that's why we do it. For the fans." I notice a young lady with this total stranger just staring at me.

I lift up my hair. "It's just a hairpiece."

"Oh, no, it's not that. You just really look like Eddie Van Halen."

"That's funny, I just saw Eddie Van Halen. At the Hollywood Bowl."

 

[Byrd Man]

"Eddie Van Halen? How was he?"

"Well, he's one of them now. Looks horrible."

"That's a shame...I know this might not be the time or place, but I was wondering if you would do me a huge favor..."

 

[wiegeabo]

"I'm all about the hospitality. What can I do for you? Are you hungry? Thirsty? What do you need?"

 

[Byrd Man]

"I'm all about the hospitality. What can I do for you? Are you hungry? Thirsty? What do you need?"

"Well...."

*****​

Bill and I run through the halls of his house, fully dressed as Ghostbusters. Wichita stands in the dining room doing her best Brookly accent.

"Hurry! He's on the ceiling!"

"Let's do it, Ray!"

 

[wiegeabo]

"See ya on the other side, Pete!" We flip on our 'proton packs'.

"Don't cross the streams!"

"All right!"

"Stop crossing the streams!" Then the power flickers.

 

[Byrd Man]

"Did we do that or...."

I look around the dim room and shrug.

"What do we do now?"

 

[Carnage27]

I walk back towards the main area of the house, announcing my presence, "Guys you'll never believe this! He's got like a full movie theater back there!"

As I turn the corner I find Tallahassee dressed in a Ghostbuster jump suit with-

Oh my god.

He's a live. Bill Murray is alive and he's standing five feet away from me. You know that term, fangasm? Yea, I think I'm having one right now.

"Oh my Gozer. You're Bill Murray. You're alive. This week can seriously not get any better."

 

[NiteMare Shape]

I make my way through the darkened cell block, and I find it almost funny that for the first time in 12 years, I think I'd rather be stuck in my cell. When I woke up on my cot, and found the door to my cell open, I couldn't believe my luck. It seemed that all my prayers had been answered, I finally had an opportunity to get out of this hell...and with any luck, I just might see the outside world after all.

It didn't take long for me to realize that I was stepping out into salvation...but into my own personal hell.

Something just isn't right. Not only did someone open my cell door...but the entire prison is quiet. Too quiet. Even in the middle of the night, there are noises in a prison...hushed whispers, angry screams...grown men weeping because they have lost the will to live...or possibly their "jailhouse virginity." The silence is deafening.

I continue my trek from the cell block out to the corridor that leads into the main complex itself. I find myself looking for someone...another prisoner, a guard...anyone who can tell me what the hell is going on. But there is no one here. I'm all alone in this place, and for the first time in years, I'm scared to death. I long for the safety of my 10x10 cell...for the sanctuary of those same iron bars that I've cursed every single day for the last 12 years....but somehow I know that going back now would lead to certain death. So I continue on, into fear and uncertainty.

A strange scent reaches my nostrils as I make my way to the guard station, something that I can't quite place. As I make my way past the station, I put my hand down on the counter, and it touches something wet...and warm. I don't have to look to know what it is, but I venture a glance at the counter anyhow, and my suspicions are confirmed.

Blood...and it's relatively fresh.

Did Omar finally do it? He's been talking about busting out of here for weeks, said he had a plan...Could he...?

I hear the sound of footsteps behind me. I turn to face whoever it is and find out just what the hell is going on. I see the familiar form of one of the guards making his way toward me. His name is Woody, he's one of the few decent guys in this place, on either side of the bars. For the most part I like him, he's respectful and is always quick with a joke. But as he gets closer, I see that there is something wrong with him. He's hurt, the blood on his uniform and the way he staggers toward me is a dead giveaway.

"Woody? You alright pal?" I ask.

Then he lifts his head to look at me, and nothing in the world could have prepared me for what I see. His lower jaw is missing, as if something had torn it clean off....and his eyes...dead eyes, clouded over and white like a dead frog's eyes. I jump back with a start, and that's when Woody, the only friends I've had in 12 years in this hell hole reaches out for me, trying to get his cold hands around my neck.

Hands suddenly grab my shoulder, and I jump up, hitting my head against the driver's side window of my black Dodge Charger. I look around the inside of my car, seeing the two kids I picked up outside of Denver, Blake and Kirsten, staring back at me.

"The dream again?" Kirsten asks, worry showing on her pretty face.

"Yeah. Let's get out of here. Don't want to stay in one place for too long." I say as I turn the key in the ignition and drive off, not knowing where I'm going...just me, acouple of college kids, and a trunk full of guns.

12 hours.

We've been driving for 12 hours. We've been cooped up in this car, with nothing but our conversation to keep ourselves occupied for 12 straight hours. I've never been one for small talk, but Blake and Kirsten don't know how to shut up....constantly flapping their lips about movies and shopping malls...and other things that don't exsist anymore. Out of habbit, I've reached for the tuner on the car radio more than once, hoping to let the soulful sounds of music drown out their inane chatter.

Only to be met by the sound of static...another reminder that the world that we knew is dead.

As Kirsten and Blake continue their conversation, with me adding the occasional "yeah," and "huh," I risk a glance at the gas gage, and feel a coldness in the pit of my stomach when I see that it is inching closer and closer to "E."

"We're going to have to stop soon. I saw a sign for a gas station a ways back, keep your eyes peeled for it."

"Are you serious?" Kirsten asks as she too looks to the gas gage.

"Unless you want to walk."

"That's ok though, maybe we'll be able to stock up on supplies while we're there, we're starting to run low on rations."

We drive on in silence for the next five miles, every few minutes I chance a peek at the gas gage, making sure it hasn't dipped any lower. After what seems like an eternity, we finally spot the gas station...and not a moment too soon. The place is a disaster, and for a moment I fully question our chances of getting any fuel...or anything else for that matter.

I pull up to the gas pump and begin filling the tank. After I finish, the three of us head into the station itself, hoping to find some supplies to keep us going alittle longer. There is something about this place that I just don't like...every fiber of my being tells me to get in the car and leave...

But that's nothing new, ever since I met my first walker, I've gotten that feeling just about everywhere I've stopped.

 

[Keyser Soze]

Curtis and I spend the next half hour blocking the windows and doors with everything we can find. I block the front door with a large dresser while Curtis slides the fridge over the back door. We even find some spare wood and tools in the backyard we manage to put to good use by nailing up the boards to cover the windows.

I hear movement from upstairs and Rick comes down in a new change of clothes and a freshly shaved face.

"Looks better on you than that hospital gown."

"Don't sell yourself short. You got some legs."

Curtis and Rick both chuckle. I tun to one of the pieces of furniture we didn't use to block the exits. "You might want to take a seat. This might take awhile to explain."

I didn't have much to say when they were done. I had to walk away, be on my own. They let me. I wouldn't have believed it, if not for all I'd seen already. It sounds like something out a bad horror movie, but it's really happening.

The dead are returning to life, and feeding on the living.

I think of friends, family, all the people I've ever known. Have they been killed by these monsters? Have they become these monsters? Have Lori and Carl...

No. Lori and Carl are alive. I know it. I just need to find them. That's all I need to do. I need to find them.

It's the next day before I join Matt and Curtis again. I'm dressed in my police uniform, and holding the station keys.

"Let's move. If you say Atlanta is a safe haven, then that's where my wife and son will be. We'll stop at the station - they've got a truckload of weapons and supplies under lock-and-key, so they probably won't have been raided."

 

[Byrd Man]

It's the next day before I join Matt and Curtis again. I'm dressed in my police uniform, and holding the station keys.

"Let's move. If you say Atlanta is a safe haven, then that's where my wife and son will be. We'll stop at the station - they've got a truckload of weapons and supplies under lock-and-key, so they probably won't have been raided."

I pull on my coat and grab my shotgun. Curtis takes hold of his pistol and tucks it into his waistband. The three of us push the large dresser away from the front door and step out into the mid-morning day.

"You wanna drive us to the station, Rick? We're not from around here."

 

[Keyser Soze]

I pull on my coat and grab my shotgun. Curtis takes hold of his pistol and tucks it into his waistband. The three of us push the large dresser away from the front door and step out into the mid-morning day.

"You wanna drive us to the station, Rick? We're not from around here."

"Sure thing."

I take one last look at my home. I doubt I'll ever be able to come back here. Whatever life awaits us - me and my family, when I find them - our old one is gone. But one more thing. I head round to our backyard, and quickly find what I'm looking for. A large axe: hefty, but still light enough to wield effectively. Could prove handy. I load it in the trunk of the car, and turn to the others.

"I'm ready."

I drive us to the station. On the way there, I see them. The walkers. Wondering around, staring vacantly ahead. This is my neighbourhood. These are people I used to see every day in old life - walking their dog, washing their car, waving to me as I passed. Days gone by now.

It's quiet at the station. No sign of any of them. I move quickly, opening the steel gates, driving the car in, then closing them behind me.

"Wait here."

I go into the station. Empty. Looks like it's been abandoned. I find the armory keys (and another set I need) in one of the offices, and head back outside. I motion for Matt and Curtis to follow me to what looks like a large warehouse, and I put the key in the pad and turn it, opening the thick garage doors.

"Welcome to the armory."

Walls filled with handguns, shotguns, rifles. Compartments filled with smoke bombs and ammo of every type.

"Take as much as guns you need. But only use them if you have to. If you're right about these things being attracted by noise, a gunshot will be like a beacon to them. If you can, use these instead."

I hand Matt and Curtis police batons. After a few journeys, we've filled up every inch of free space in the car, filling the back seat as well as the trunk. I take the axe out the trunk and head over to the parking lot. Using the other set of keys I took from the office, I unlock a squad car, and sit the axe in the passenger seat. From out of my pocket, I take a photo of me, Lori and Carl, and put it up next to the rearview mirror. After a few more journeys to and from the armory, the squad car is filled too.

"The more transport we have, the better," I say, "Right. Let's get moving. It's a long way to Atlanta."

 

[Byrd Man]

I hand Matt and Curtis police batons. After a few journeys, we've filled up every inch of free space in the car, filling the back seat as well as the trunk. I take the axe out the trunk and head over to the parking lot. Using the other set of keys I took from the office, I unlock a squad car, and sit the axe in the passenger seat. From out of my pocket, I take a photo of me, Lori and Carl, and put it up next to the rearview mirror. After a few more journeys to and from the armory, the squad car is filled too.

"The more transport we have, the better," I say, "Right. Let's get moving. It's a long way to Atlanta."

Even with the weapons loaded in the back of the truck, I still keep my shotgun beside me. Might not be the best weapon, but it's gotten me this far. Rick gets into the cop car while Curtis and I climb into the truck cab. Curtis drives while I sit in the passenger seat with the shotgun in my lap. Rick pulls out into the road and Curtis follows close behind.

With that, our small, makeshift caravan begins the journey west towards Atlanta.

 

[wiegeabo]

I walk back towards the main area of the house, announcing my presence, "Guys you'll never believe this! He's got like a full movie theater back there!"

As I turn the corner I find Tallahassee dressed in a Ghostbuster jump suit with-

Oh my god.

He's a live. Bill Murray is alive and he's standing five feet away from me. You know that term, fangasm? Yea, I think I'm having one right now.

"Oh my Gozer. You're Bill Murray. You're alive. This week can seriously not get any better."

I put my hands together shake them towards my new fan. "Thank you, thank you. I appreciate it. Honestly."

I look around at my guests. "So...wanna smoke some weed?"

 

[Byrd Man]

I put my hands together shake them towards my new fan. "Thank you, thank you. I appreciate it. Honestly."

I look around at my guests. "So...wanna smoke some weed?"

Bill lights up the bong and I take a massive hit, blowing the smoke out into the air. "That is....good."

My head begins to swim as the THC goes to work. "Did I ever tell you how much I loved you in Kingpin, Mister Murray? I loved that movie!"

I look over at Columbus and shake the bong. "Sure you don't want any?"

 

[Carnage27]

I look over at Columbus and shake the bong. "Sure you don't want any?"

Rule #5: Stay alert

"Oh...I don't know I've got the rules you know-" I begin to say when Wichita cuts me off.

"Screw the rules, let's have some fun for once," she smiles with a wink. Can't really say no to that, can I?

"Okay, sure. **** it, let's do this thing," I say with enthusiasm.

Rule #32: Enjoy the little things

 

[wiegeabo]

Bill lights up the bong and I take a massive hit, blowing the smoke out into the air. "That is....good."

My head begins to swim as the THC goes to work. "Did I ever tell you how much I loved you in Kingpin, Mister Murray? I loved that movie!"

I look over at Columbus and shake the bong. "Sure you don't want any?"

"You know," I say, passing it over to the girl, "it might be the weed talking, but you look a little like Randy Quaid."

"So how did the four of you wind up in my humble abode?"

 

[Byrd Man]

"You know," I say, passing it over to the girl, "it might be the weed talking, but you look a little like Randy Quaid."

"So how did the four of you wind up in my humble abode?"

"We met up in Texas and came out west after we heard about a refuge at Pacific Playland."

Wichita takes a hit and passes it to Columbus.

"Found out last night that's not the case. Overrun with the infected. Had to fight out way out of there. We needed a place to crash so we decided that if we were gonna sleep, then we would do it at the palace of a king."

"What's going on?"

Little Rock comes into the room just as Columbus takes a massive hit and chokes on the smoke.