Wait, you thought...Oh. Oh you!
Anyway, time to tell my story now that I finally have the chance to sit down and take a load off. Everyone gather 'round the circle. This is a lengthy one.
I don't frequent strip clubs much. I went for my 18th birthday and every time I've gone after that is usually to take a Marine friend of mine who pops in & out of the States every 6 months or so. The guy's a real charmer, so he can make conversation with any girl at a bar, club, or in this case, strip club.
3 of us are at a table. I'm having a fine time just browsing through the talent. Multiple dancers have approached our table asking if we would like a dance - I respectfully decline each offer. I'm picky about this kinda thing at 19 years old, so I'm waiting for the right one to come along. This one dancer comes out from the back room and takes a seat at our table. Me and my other buddy are kind of like "Oh great" while the charmer of the bunch buys her a drink and sparks up a conversation. I figure he'll be making quick work of this girl, but she ends up staying at our table for a good while. She tells us it's her first night and that she's not digging the place so far. She tells us the rest of the dancers aren't very friendly and the rest of the customers are creeping her out. "I feel safe with you" she says. Super.
I mind my business while my friend talks to her, but she soon turns her attention to me. She tells me where she's from, that she's cold, just a bunch of random **** I care not about. I try brushing her off, but no such luck. Next thing I know, the girl is on my lap...asking me if I'd like some cocaine.
"Uh...no. I don't do that stuff."
"Oh, ok. Think about it." she says. She follows that up by telling me I'm cute and asks how old I am. This has the makings of a long night, but the DJ calls her to the stage. That was close. She goes on stage and is locking eyes with me for the entirety of her routine. She disappears behind the stage when she's done and comes back to the table. Naked. The grown ass men in the building are looking at us as if to say "what the hell is that girl doing with those kids?'' She sits back on my lap. She's slurring her speech. She has white powder on her nose. She's asking me to take her home because she doesn't feel well.
My buddies are laughing at me every time I look at them. I give my Marine friend the get-her-outta-here look, so he buys a dance from her, goes to the back, and returns shortly after.
"I hate you, Danny" he says. Why? Apparently the girl couldn't stop talking about how much she likes me, wants to kiss me, wants to go home with me. The usual. She didn't even give my friend a dance. She sat next to him and talked...about me. She comes back out, still naked and asks me to help her get dressed.
I get up and help her out. She can't even stand up straight between the drinks and the powder, so I have my hand on her back for support. I take it off for a split second to pick up my drink and the ***** tumbles forward - face first into the table next to us, knocking it over (along with everything on it) All eyes in the room are now on me. Guy a few tables over says "Did he just smack that *****?"
She gets up, holding her head: "Thanks for helping me..."
The bouncers come and take her away. Soon after, I see her in street clothes stumbling out the front door with the help of the staff. There went my lady love.
I tried all night to get rid of her and when I finally did. I missed her. Still do.
FIN
