Stripper Stories

[ComicChick]

I have to say, I enjoyed it more than The Village.

who didn't?

now to really sell the story, you pan ahead a year or two down the road and have them meet up again.

 

[The Original Bamfer]

who didn't?

now to really sell the story, you pan ahead a year or two down the road and have them meet up again.

Or, even better, find out that she's actually currently dating one of his internet buddies.

 

[Catman]

Is it disappointing that I don't have a stripper story? You'd expect better from Catman! I mean, yea, I've been to strip clubs but nothing unique ever happened. My stripper story is the same as most people: I went, I saw, and then I left.

 

[Sarge 2.0]

Wait, you thought...Oh. Oh you!

Anyway, time to tell my story now that I finally have the chance to sit down and take a load off. Everyone gather 'round the circle. This is a lengthy one.

I don't frequent strip clubs much. I went for my 18th birthday and every time I've gone after that is usually to take a Marine friend of mine who pops in & out of the States every 6 months or so. The guy's a real charmer, so he can make conversation with any girl at a bar, club, or in this case, strip club.

3 of us are at a table. I'm having a fine time just browsing through the talent. Multiple dancers have approached our table asking if we would like a dance - I respectfully decline each offer. I'm picky about this kinda thing at 19 years old, so I'm waiting for the right one to come along. This one dancer comes out from the back room and takes a seat at our table. Me and my other buddy are kind of like "Oh great" while the charmer of the bunch buys her a drink and sparks up a conversation. I figure he'll be making quick work of this girl, but she ends up staying at our table for a good while. She tells us it's her first night and that she's not digging the place so far. She tells us the rest of the dancers aren't very friendly and the rest of the customers are creeping her out. "I feel safe with you" she says. Super.

I mind my business while my friend talks to her, but she soon turns her attention to me. She tells me where she's from, that she's cold, just a bunch of random **** I care not about. I try brushing her off, but no such luck. Next thing I know, the girl is on my lap...asking me if I'd like some cocaine.

"Uh...no. I don't do that stuff."

"Oh, ok. Think about it." she says. She follows that up by telling me I'm cute and asks how old I am. This has the makings of a long night, but the DJ calls her to the stage. That was close. She goes on stage and is locking eyes with me for the entirety of her routine. She disappears behind the stage when she's done and comes back to the table. Naked. The grown ass men in the building are looking at us as if to say "what the hell is that girl doing with those kids?'' She sits back on my lap. She's slurring her speech. She has white powder on her nose. She's asking me to take her home because she doesn't feel well.

My buddies are laughing at me every time I look at them. I give my Marine friend the get-her-outta-here look, so he buys a dance from her, goes to the back, and returns shortly after.

"I hate you, Danny" he says. Why? Apparently the girl couldn't stop talking about how much she likes me, wants to kiss me, wants to go home with me. The usual. She didn't even give my friend a dance. She sat next to him and talked...about me. She comes back out, still naked and asks me to help her get dressed.

I get up and help her out. She can't even stand up straight between the drinks and the powder, so I have my hand on her back for support. I take it off for a split second to pick up my drink and the ***** tumbles forward - face first into the table next to us, knocking it over (along with everything on it) All eyes in the room are now on me. Guy a few tables over says "Did he just smack that *****?"

She gets up, holding her head: "Thanks for helping me..."

The bouncers come and take her away. Soon after, I see her in street clothes stumbling out the front door with the help of the staff. There went my lady love.

I tried all night to get rid of her and when I finally did. I missed her. Still do.

FIN

I'm never going to write a screenplay, but if I was going to I'd include that as a scene in it.

 

[Go Web Go!]

I'm never going to write a screenplay, but if I was going to I'd include that as a scene in it.

I appreciate it. Here's my card, just in case.

 

[Sarge 2.0]

The stripper character would probably never show up again, she would just be in that particular vignette of the main characters life to create a sense of poignancy and loss.

 

[Wolfwood]

Wait, you thought...Oh. Oh you!

Anyway, time to tell my story now that I finally have the chance to sit down and take a load off. Everyone gather 'round the circle. This is a lengthy one.

I don't frequent strip clubs much. I went for my 18th birthday and every time I've gone after that is usually to take a Marine friend of mine who pops in & out of the States every 6 months or so. The guy's a real charmer, so he can make conversation with any girl at a bar, club, or in this case, strip club.

3 of us are at a table. I'm having a fine time just browsing through the talent. Multiple dancers have approached our table asking if we would like a dance - I respectfully decline each offer. I'm picky about this kinda thing at 19 years old, so I'm waiting for the right one to come along. This one dancer comes out from the back room and takes a seat at our table. Me and my other buddy are kind of like "Oh great" while the charmer of the bunch buys her a drink and sparks up a conversation. I figure he'll be making quick work of this girl, but she ends up staying at our table for a good while. She tells us it's her first night and that she's not digging the place so far. She tells us the rest of the dancers aren't very friendly and the rest of the customers are creeping her out. "I feel safe with you" she says. Super.

I mind my business while my friend talks to her, but she soon turns her attention to me. She tells me where she's from, that she's cold, just a bunch of random **** I care not about. I try brushing her off, but no such luck. Next thing I know, the girl is on my lap...asking me if I'd like some cocaine.

"Uh...no. I don't do that stuff."

"Oh, ok. Think about it." she says. She follows that up by telling me I'm cute and asks how old I am. This has the makings of a long night, but the DJ calls her to the stage. That was close. She goes on stage and is locking eyes with me for the entirety of her routine. She disappears behind the stage when she's done and comes back to the table. Naked. The grown ass men in the building are looking at us as if to say "what the hell is that girl doing with those kids?'' She sits back on my lap. She's slurring her speech. She has white powder on her nose. She's asking me to take her home because she doesn't feel well.

My buddies are laughing at me every time I look at them. I give my Marine friend the get-her-outta-here look, so he buys a dance from her, goes to the back, and returns shortly after.

"I hate you, Danny" he says. Why? Apparently the girl couldn't stop talking about how much she likes me, wants to kiss me, wants to go home with me. The usual. She didn't even give my friend a dance. She sat next to him and talked...about me. She comes back out, still naked and asks me to help her get dressed.

I get up and help her out. She can't even stand up straight between the drinks and the powder, so I have my hand on her back for support. I take it off for a split second to pick up my drink and the ***** tumbles forward - face first into the table next to us, knocking it over (along with everything on it) All eyes in the room are now on me. Guy a few tables over says "Did he just smack that *****?"

She gets up, holding her head: "Thanks for helping me..."

The bouncers come and take her away. Soon after, I see her in street clothes stumbling out the front door with the help of the staff. There went my lady love.

I tried all night to get rid of her and when I finally did. I missed her. Still do.

FIN

Jeez, I feel kinda depressed now.

 

[Sarge 2.0]

For some reason it reminds me of that heartbreaking scene in Blue Velvet where Isabella Rossellini's character is standing naked on the sidewalk and she desperately looks to Kyle MacLachlan's character for comfort. Or that even more heartbreaking scene in Wild At Heart where Sherilyn Fenn's character is quickly dying of severe head trauma and blood loss but the shock prevents her from fully comprehending the situation; all she can think about is finding her hair pins and the fact that her mom will be mad. I guess all three stories strike similar chords. Pity and whatnot.

So I guess David Lynch would love that story GWG.

 

[Ghostvirus]

I motor boated da boobahhsss!!!!!

 

[enterthemadness]

Wow...thanks for sharing, um, Go Web, Go. How old was she? Older than you guys or about the same?

 

[Go Web Go!]

Sure, bud. That's what I'm here for. The girl had to be in her late 20's, so she was a good 7-8 years older than anyone at our table.

 

[Spider-Fan]

Strip clubs near me suck. All not so hot dancers and multiple c-sections

 

[Spider-Fan]

who didn't?

now to really sell the story, you pan ahead a year or two down the road and have them meet up again.

Hollywood thinks this is too cliche

 

[Wiseman]

The only stripper stories I have are of strippers that I dated and the stuff we did together........I've never had anything really memorable happen in a strip club, and any girl I dated that was a stripper, I didn't meet them in the club so it's not like I just hit on a stripper and took her home.

 

[Spider-Fan]

One trip to the strip club I had was rather amusing. My friend wanted to get a lap dance from this one stripper, and the stripper thought my friend looked familiar. Turns out that person used to baby sit my friend when he was younger. She refused to give him a lap dance because of that, lol. My friend kept trying to get her to do it, though.

 

[Metamorpho1977]

Well my last strip club visit was nearly 2 years ago (been a long time).

There was one Blonde from Russia that was just out of this world gorgeous. Her name was Olga and I spent most of the night with her.

Then there was this one girl from Miami who would constantly go on talking about her past and her career changes and all that nonsense. She wasn't good looking at all so no lap dance.

Was she one of the daytime strippers? They usually put the less attractive ones on during the afternoon.

 

[-Arya-]

Was she one of the daytime strippers? They usually put the less attractive ones on during the afternoon.

No it was around 9 p.m.

Normally she would'nt be bad but compared to the Russian, she looked like an Ogre

 

[Go Web Go!]

Guys, I forgot to tell you all the story of the stripper who could pick up a folded dollar bill with her nanners. Actually, that's about it. Not much else to it, really.

 

[thedeadite]

thedeadite's stripper story:

It was my OAC (grade 13 - when it existed) year in highschool.
My friend and I would head to the strip club for cheap lunch on occasion and it happened to be one of those occasions. This time though he had a funny little grin about the whole outing.
I thought nothing of it.
Shortly after we get there, he brings my attention to the girl getting on the stage, as I was too occupied with the barbecued chicken.
This is how I found out that one of our good highschool friends was a stripper.

 

[The IronMan]

I was in a club once where the dancer had recently had a baby but still in great shape she proceeded to spray some of the customers with her breast milk

 

[-Arya-]

^ just for the hell of it or was it a request?

 

[enterthemadness]

I was in a club once where the dancer had recently had a baby but still in great shape she proceeded to spray some of the customers with her breast milk

OMG, Wow.

^ just for the hell of it or was it a request?

Good question.

 

[BlackLantern]

OMG, Wow.

some people are into that....it scares me

 

[Matt.S99]

I've been to the rippers separately with the boys, then with the ladies. Fun experiences with both groups of friends.

Both times I found we received particular attention from the dancers—especially when I went with the chicks, sitting right in the creepers' row. With the boys, all my drinks end up paid for, and with the ladies, a dancer always ends up sitting with us and chatting us up—not for lap dances, but maybe because the dynamics are different.

I find going to the rippers to be enjoyable. The best times are when the dancers are more enthusiastic—I've seen a couple sets where they seem apathetic and can't wait to grab their thong off the floor and get out of there. However, most show no fear and have no qualms about putting their goods up front...the look on my buddy's face when a dancer put her set up on his shoulder. Ha! Good times all around.

Ive heard of the Rippers, isnt it in Ottawa or something?

 

[Heffer Wolf]

The first and last time I went to a Strip Club, my firends told me they would buy me a lap dance, and to pick the best stripper to get it from. Well this one chick came out, totally Rockabillied out, stripping to Nirvana. So naturauly, I picked her. So blah blah blah fast forward a couple of hours to when we are about to leave, and she's up again to strip, so i say alright lets stay and see her one more time (she was pretty cute and thicker, she didnt look like she fit in at all at this scummy ass strip club) so shes stripping, and this dude across from us throws down like 15 bucks and she starts to dance over by him. My friends notice this and say I can't lose the battle. They hand me the rest of their ones and I throw down everything I got left (it was MAYBE 15 bucks, but I spread it out so it looked like more) so she comes over to where I am and wraps my face in her cooter.

The next day I got a pimple on my cheek.