Stripper Stories

[The IronMan]

^ just for the hell of it or was it a request?

just to get more attention man

 

[enterthemadness]

some people are into that....it scares me

I would point and go 'OMG, she's leaking!' ....or say 'She's spraying, she's in heat!'

 

[AndThePickles]

The first and last time I went to a Strip Club, my firends told me they would buy me a lap dance, and to pick the best stripper to get it from. Well this one chick came out, totally Rockabillied out, stripping to Nirvana. So naturauly, I picked her. So blah blah blah fast forward a couple of hours to when we are about to leave, and she's up again to strip, so i say alright lets stay and see her one more time (she was pretty cute and thicker, she didnt look like she fit in at all at this scummy ass strip club) so shes stripping, and this dude across from us throws down like 15 bucks and she starts to dance over by him. My friends notice this and say I can't lose the battle. They hand me the rest of their ones and I throw down everything I got left (it was MAYBE 15 bucks, but I spread it out so it looked like more) so she comes over to where I am and wraps my face in her cooter.

The next day I got a pimple on my cheek.

What is it with all these stories regarding strippers putting their crotches on people's faces? I was under the impression that most of them don't touch their customers.

 

[Poetic Chaos]

What is it with all these stories regarding strippers putting their crotches on people's faces? I was under the impression that most of them don't touch their customers.

You got the wrong impression. Women customers especially get felt up by strippers.

 

[enterthemadness]

The first and last time I went to a Strip Club, my firends told me they would buy me a lap dance, and to pick the best stripper to get it from. Well this one chick came out, totally Rockabillied out, stripping to Nirvana. So naturauly, I picked her. So blah blah blah fast forward a couple of hours to when we are about to leave, and she's up again to strip, so i say alright lets stay and see her one more time (she was pretty cute and thicker, she didnt look like she fit in at all at this scummy ass strip club) so shes stripping, and this dude across from us throws down like 15 bucks and she starts to dance over by him. My friends notice this and say I can't lose the battle. They hand me the rest of their ones and I throw down everything I got left (it was MAYBE 15 bucks, but I spread it out so it looked like more) so she comes over to where I am and wraps my face in her cooter.

The next day I got a pimple on my cheek.

Woooooow...

was it worth the ache?

 

[Hotwire]

Wait, you thought...Oh. Oh you!

Anyway, time to tell my story now that I finally have the chance to sit down and take a load off. Everyone gather 'round the circle. This is a lengthy one.
-This post has been formatted to fit a quote-
I tried all night to get rid of her and when I finally did. I missed her. Still do.

FIN

Sounds like you could have gotten sex in the champange room.

 

[Go Web Go!]

Not only in the champagne room, but back at her place as well.

 

[The Original Bamfer]

Too bad she's hanging out with me now.

 

[Hotwire]

Not only in the champagne room, but back at her place as well.

And you probably would have gotten something a little worse than a crab on your eyelid.

 

[I'm Old Greg]

i'll serve it nice and quick for you...
sleezy strip joint...this chick jumps on up on the bar, squats down over my buddies beer and picks it up and drops his beer back down on the bar...she didn't use her hands...

my buddy didn't even get half way through the beer and he said to her you gonna buy me another one after that?

 

[Darthphere]

What is it with all these stories regarding strippers putting their crotches on people's faces? I was under the impression that most of them don't touch their customers.

You have so much to learn.

 

[AndThePickles]

You have so much to learn.

How so? What kind of hooker-bars are you people going to? Notice I didnt' say putting crotch IN people's faces, I mean literally ON.

 

[Darthphere]

How so? What kind of hooker-bars are you people going to? Notice I didnt' say putting crotch IN people's faces, I mean literally ON.

Yeah, these are pretty seedy establishments.

 

[AndThePickles]

Yeah, these are pretty seedy establishments.

So you spend hundreds of dollars and buy yourself an STD?

 

[Darthphere]

So you spend hundreds of dollars and buy yourself an STD?

Ugh no. I don't buy lapdances personally.

 

[Go Web Go!]

Too bad she's hanging out with me now.

S'all good. I'm clean. Promise.

And you probably would have gotten something a little worse than a crab on your eyelid.

Reminds me of a story I heard through the grapevine. Apparently some ladies were at the local male nudie establishment, got a little too close to the talent, and ended up with the itches on her eyebrows.

 

[Shuley]

So you spend hundreds of dollars and buy yourself an STD?

I had a stripper put her crotch on top of my head and grind.

 

[Shuley]

I have a good story, a few of them but i'll tell this one...

Place:The King's Inn, Dartmouth,MA

people call this place "The Pig's Inn" cause all the girls are pigs.

Anyhow,So I'm sitting there near the stage just chillin. This stripper comes dancing over and but she wasn't naked yet and then looks at me and lifts up her strings tied to her leg (they wear strings to put the tips in for the stripper goer impaired) up and l said "I suppose you want a dollar now"? She gave a chuckle and said "yea" I gave her a dollar.
Next stripper dances over. This one a little older looking wearing a black thong. She puts her hand down on her crotch and rubs herself then puts those fingers in her mouth and goes "mmmm"
I said "Whoa! That's worth a dollar!!!" She laughed. I gave her a dollar.

Later on, a hot blonde walks by and asks for a lap dance, I said "sure" She asked What I do for a living? I said "I work in printing" She asked "Do you just press a button and it prints"? I said No, there is more to it than just that" she said, "Ya well, I just take my clothes off" I have a few more if anyone wants to hear..

 

[enterthemadness]

I have a good story, a few of them but i'll tell this one...

Place:The King's Inn, Dartmouth,MA

people call this place "The Pig's Inn" cause all the girls are pigs.

Anyhow,So I'm sitting there near the stage just chillin. This stripper comes dancing over and but she wasn't naked yet and then looks at me and lifts up her strings tied to her leg (they wear strings to put the tips in for the stripper goer impaired) up and l said "I suppose you want a dollar now"? She gave a chuckle and said "yea" I gave her a dollar.
Next stripper dances over. This one a little older looking wearing a black thong. She puts her hand down on her crotch and rubs herself then puts those fingers in her mouth and goes "mmmm"
I said "Whoa! That's worth a dollar!!!" She laughed. I gave her a dollar.

Later on, a hot blonde walks by and asks for a lap dance, I said "sure" She asked What I do for a living? I said "I work in printing" She asked "Do you just press a button and it prints"? I said No, there is more to it than just that" she said, "Ya well, I just take my clothes off" I have a few more if anyone wants to hear..

Sure, why not.

Oh, and that second one was nasty. Seriously....how is that a turn on?

 

[Go Web Go!]

To each his own.

 

[enterthemadness]

To each his own.

You sir, are sick.

got any more stripper stories?

 

[Matt.S99]

I thought most men think a girl rubbing herself is a turn on

 

[enterthemadness]

I thought most men think a girl rubbing herself is a turn on

Not me. Maybe if she's using my hand, but that's a difference.

And also, women look like a DJ when doing that. Are you trying out to be a Dj?

 

[Go Web Go!]

And men look like they're churning butter. You can find a description for everything a human being does.

 

[enterthemadness]

And men look like they're churning butter. You can find a description for everything a human being does.

I got the DJ one from Dane Cook.

And that's true, we do look like we are making butter.