Stupid People Doing Stupid Things Thread - Part 1

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Dad Disfigures Face of Man He Caught Sexually Abusing His Son

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http://www.mynews13.com/content/new...icles/cfn/2014/7/18/daytona_beach_police.html

Glad this sick punk got what was coming to him, it's just sad he got away with it for as long as he did. At least he will have to spend the rest of his life as a registered sex offender

Way to go Dad! Even if he is charged with something, there isn't a jury in the world who would convict him. I hope this guy has to go through the rest of his life looking like the big guy from Goonies.
 
Ya those girls are insane Pinchy. Like I said hopefully they get locked up for this
 
People who torture and kill animals or other humans ought to be put to death by the same method they used.
 
​Dress Thief Caught After Posting Stolen Dress Selfies on Facebook

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Free advice for criminals: after committing a crime, you should consider not posting about your crime on the social networking website that nearly every single person visits multiple times per day. Just a thought!

WSIL-TV reports, via the Associated Press, that police in West Frankfort, Illinois, have arrested 27-year-old Danielle Saxton on misdemeanor retail theft charges. Saxton stole a dress, as well as some other clothing and jewelry, from a West Frankfort boutique and posted selfies on Facebook in the dress just a few hours later.

Store co-owner Kert Williams also took to Facebook to post about the theft after checking security cameras. He included images of the missing dress and Facebook users immediately lead him to Saxton. Police Chief Shawn Talluto told WSIL-TV:

"We just had a description and a direction of travel, but when the social media aspect played into it, we were able to identify who it was. And by looking at the background of the photograph we were able to pinpoint where she was at."

According to Talluto, Saxton had the clothes in her hand when officers arrived. Whoops! And after arresting her, they found that she was wanted on another warrant in Jackson County. Whoops again! Regarding the role social media played in the case, Talluto said:

"When you put something out there, it's a matter of minutes before it can go viral, and it can go to the world."

Indeed.

http://www.wsiltv.com/news/local/Selfie--267742431.html

What's the point in being a criminal if you can't show off the goods?
 
Motorist Hears God Tell Her That He Will Drive, She Lets Go and Runs Over Motorcyclist

http://www.addictinginfo.org/2014/0...he-let-go-of-wheel-and-ran-over-motorcyclist/
Depending on how you look at it, either God drove a car into motorcyclist Anthony Oliveri or – more likely – a woman took a leap of faith and the laws of physics did the rest.

While driving along the roads of Fort Wayne, Indiana, a car suddenly and inexplicably swerved directly into Oliveri. Police say the car not only ran over his bike, but also over Oliveri, leaving him badly injured on the road. The car kept on driving.

Speaking with WANE, Oliveri said he thought he was dead.

“I remember it happened and I didn’t quite know what was going on for a split second. As I grabbed the handle bars as the bike was losing control and I looked back around my left shoulder, all I see is her tire and the left bumper getting ready to run my face over. Literally I was inches from that bumper and I just said to myself today is the day I die. I just shut my eyes and said if this is the way that God wants to do it then I guess that this is the way we’re going to do it,” Oliveri said.

His injuries were severe, but just being alive was enough.

“She rolled over the bike and she rolled over me and everything and I just figured that was it. Then, when I felt the pain of my bike of sliding on the back of the road. I was like, wait, I feel pain, that means I’m still alive. I look up and look down at my feet and think well my legs are still connected. When I felt the pain as funny as it is, at that point in time, I was happy because not ten seconds earlier I thought I was dead. At that point I was just ecstatic to be alive to be honest with you,” Oliveri said.

The car ran over his midsection breaking all of his ribs on his left side, damaging his spleen, bruising his kidney and leaving him with road rash that covered much of his back and extremities. It’s amazing that he lived.

Oliveri and his fiance attribute his survival to divine intervention. Ironically, it’s that very excuse which the driver would later use as her defense.

Police caught up with the woman who hit Oliveri several blocks down the road. According to the police report, the woman – identified as 25-year-old Prionda C. Hill – told them that “she was driving and out of no where God told her that he would take it from here and she let go of the wheel and let him take it.”

“God did it” is tough to prove in court, so the woman now faces several charges including leaving the scene of a crime and criminal recklessness with a deadly weapon. She is currently out on bail.

What God’s involvement was – if any – on that day will never be known, but Oliveri did have some very real guardian angels looking out for him – the flesh-and-blood kind. Thankfully, several retired nurses saw the accident and rushed to Oliveri to help. When they had him stabilized, they called an ambulance and he was rushed to the hospital.

Oliveri says he wants his story to be a lesson for drivers to watch out for motorcyclists. Another lesson might be that no matter what you think you hear, God drives those who drive themselves.
 
'God made me run over that guy. I'm sure he'll be fine'
 
^^
especially when his driver license has expired more than a thousand years ago.
 
Nude Beach Blow Job Jet Ski Fight Leads to Wife’s Death

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When your wife catches you blowing a dude on a boat off a Florida nude beach, the correct response is to immediately apologize, and, once the situation has cooled, have a frank, open conversation about sexuality. Not recommended: throwing her off of the back of your jet ski and leaving her for dead.

Michael Doster was arrested for domestic battery in Passage Key, Florida after his wife Pamela discovered him in an intimate moment with another man on a boat near the popular nude beach (he and the man were allegedly performing oral sex on each other, the Daily Mail reports). The couple allegedly began arguing whilst atop a Sea-Doo, and Doster threw his wife off the vehicle four separate times. Pamela Doster refused to re-board after hitting her head on the final toss, so her husband left her on a sandbar. Both Dosters were drunk.

Michael called 911 when he returned to shore, and Pamela was found bruised and battered on the sandbar wearing only a life vest. After several days in the hospital, she died. Local law enforcement named Michael as a suspect in the investigation into her death. Manatee County Sheriff's Office spokesman Randy Warren told NBC:

"This takes our case to a different level. We need to know exactly what happened. We can say that Michael Doster is a suspect."

Law enforcement officials are now searching for the recipient of Doster's blowie, as "he may be able to give us some good information as to exactly what occurred."

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/local/man-caught-affair-nude-beach-suspect-wifes-death-w55675969

Dude should have just been honest with his wife, maybe she would have been cool with it wouldn't have ended up dead
 
Woman Who Shot Her Man for Being a Weak Ejaculator May Get Out on Bail

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A Michigan woman convicted earlier this year of shooting her lover in the stomach has been granted bond, set at $10,000. The prosecutor called the facts of the case "a little bizarre," which is a polite understatement: 58-year-old Sadie Bell said she shot the man when she suspected him of cheating because he didn't produce enough ejaculate when they had sex that night.

"She also said to the police some very graphic things about how she expected him to perform, she was a cheap date, she liked sex, she expected him to be able to do what he's promised; and she said, in essence, to quote her, she was pissed off, so she shot him," Oakland County prosecutor Paul Walton told Detroit's WWJ.

The victim and alleged weak producer of semen, Edward Lee, suffered damage to his colon and pancreas. Prosecutors say he nearly died.

Lee was technically cheating, but not on Bell. The two of them had been carrying on a 15-year affair.

Bell was accused in 1991 of shooting her then-husband, but he refused to testify against her, and she was never convicted.

As of Thursday, she had yet to post the $10,000 cash bond. Prosecutors are in the process of challenging it, saying it never should have been granted.

http://detroit.cbslocal.com/2014/07...lover-over-poor-sex-performance-granted-bond/

Reminds me of that song that was on Tosh.0 "Let me smell yo ****"
 
I'm fairly certain that is the mugshot of the woman. One can't be positive though :o
 
"Aliens Are Damned," Says Ken Ham

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/07/...gram-because-aliens-are-going-to-hell-anyway/
Creationist Ken Ham has said that the U.S. space program is a waste of money because any alien life that scientists found would be damned to hell.

“I’m shocked at the countless hundreds of millions of dollars that have been spent over the years in the desperate and fruitless search for extraterrestrial life,” Ham wrote in a Sunday column on his Answers in Genesis website.

Ham argued that “secularists are desperate to find life in outer space” as a part of their “rebellion against God in a desperate attempt to supposedly prove evolution.”

“Life did not evolve but was specially created by God, as Genesis clearly teaches. Christians certainly shouldn’t expect alien life to be cropping up across the universe,” he continued. “Now the Bible doesn’t say whether there is or is not animal or plant life in outer space. I certainly suspect not.”

But regardless of whether there was life in outer space, Ham asserted that it could not be truly “intelligent.”

“You see, the Bible makes it clear that Adam’s sin affected the whole universe. This means that any aliens would also be affected by Adam’s sin, but because they are not Adam’s descendants, they can’t have salvation,” he explained. “Jesus did not become the ‘GodKlingon’ or the ‘GodMartian’! Only descendants of Adam can be saved. God’s Son remains the ‘Godman’ as our Savior.”
 
It sounds so stupid I can only hope the source is The Onion.
 
Aliens are damned? That explains the Aliens from Doom, the Aliens movies and what happened in Event Horizon! The man's a genius! *head explodes from sarcasm*
 
And he also leaves out if this life exists, where did it come from if not God, who he states created all life.
 
Jokes on you, Ken. The Old Ones are perfectly happy with damnation.:o

Seriously tho, this man's stupidity just divided by zero. Give this man an award...in the shape of a horses ass.
 
Sarah Palin's Budding NASCAR Career Cut Short by Speeding Ticket

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When you're Sarah Palin and you get clocked doing 63 in a 45, there are lots of good responses to give reporters: "It was dumb, won't do it again." "I was in a hurry, won't do it again." "Why do you think this is news? Won't do it again." But then, if you're Sarah Palin, you're gonna go another way.

TMZ reports on the half-term governor's response to her latest transgression:

The former guv was stopped in her hometown of Wasilla last Wednesday for going 63 in a 45 MPH zone in her Toyota Tundra. The cop wrote her up and she was on her way.

Palin cops to the crime, telling us, "I wasn't speeding, I was qualifying." She didn't accept full blame, saying Sammy Hagar's, "I Can't Drive 55" on the oldies station contributed to her lead foot.


Well, no, you can't drive 55, not in a 45. Much less 63. And apparently you can't even convince one of your ex-employees to not write you a $145 ticket. But you can wink to your Van Halen-listenin' Dale Jr.-lovin' PAC donors. Where are you in such a hurry to get to anyway, Sarah? Work?

http://www.tmz.com/2014/07/22/sarah-palin-speeding-ticket-wasilla-alaska/

This idiot
 
Florida Couple Arrested After a Grandma Tapes Them Having Sex on Beach

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Dozens of people reportedly watched—and a grandmother took video—while a couple had sex on Florida's Bradenton Beach for nearly 25 minutes. Then, witnesses say, they slept "for hours" before going right back to boning.

Jose "Benny" Caballero and Elissa Alvarez were charged with lewd and lascivious behavior after the grandmother showed her video to police.

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"I've lived here since 1978 and I go to the beaches and I've never seen anything like this," she told Fox 13 Tampa Bay.

"We thought they were dead, but when they woke up, they cuddled for a while, then started into the same thing they did before."

A parent who also witnessed the complimentary public sex show called police, who eventually arrived and arrested the couple. Fox 13 reports Caballero got "mouthy" with the cops as they took him away.

To be fair to Caballero and Alvarez, that's the happiest ending to a Florida beach sex story this week.

http://www.myfoxtampabay.com/story/26073588/pair-charged-for-sex-on-bradenton-beach

I'll be the first to tell you most people who live in FL have had at least one rendezvous on the beach but most of us aren't stupid to do it in broad daylight around families and children
 
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