I disagree.
Even though Tony is right from one point of view, he's also succumbing to a knee-jerk reaction based on emotional responses.
He's neglecting that one of the people pushing him to his side of the argument is guilty of the very same things that they're being accused of (Ross was responsible for the Abomination's destruction of Harlem, something his buddy Banner would've informed him on, assuming Fury hadn't).
Cap has very valid reasons for his actions and stance.
He's been under the situation of reporting to people with duplicitous agendas. He's probably still feeling the repercussions of that, from his previous film. Putting himself in the hands of a political entity that is fertile ground for corruption and infiltration is just not a position that he can put himself in again.
Not telling Tony about his parents is a bad decision, but one that I understand. It would have created a conflict that would have placed both of his friends in danger and if that in itself is hard, the fact that Bucky only had a part in that because he was being controlled doesn't make it any easier.
In fact, Tony's reaction pretty much validates what Steve probably feared from the beginning and why he didn't tell him. Of course, it made things worse, but that doesn't mean his fears on the matter were off.