The Dark Knight Caption Thread!

[StorminNorman]

ROFLMAO

 

[MulligaN Stew]

CONVERSATION BETWEEN KEATON AND GOUGH on their replacments: Bale and Caine. . .

Keaton: What do you think of the new kid on the block? I don't know, he seems a bit green. Does he really look like Batman? Be straight with me . . . . .

Gough: With all due respect sir, he owns Wayne Manor now.

Keaton: At least I'll have the memories.

Gough: You are a memory I'm afraid. . . sir.

Keaton: What about you?! There is a new Alfred you know.

Gough: Ha, ha, ha, *continues laughing*

Keaton: What's so funny; it's true. He's. . .

Gough: Ah, the stories some people will tell themselves to get through the day.

Keaton: I'm not lying. You saw the film too.

Gough: Could you at least leave an old gent with his dignity?!

Keaton: I thought you'd forsaken that when you applied for that position at the local Holiday Inn.

Gough: No, no, no. It's not a Holiday Inn, and at least I have a job. Actually, Master Bruce came in the other night with two lovely tourists and he bought the hotel, so I'm still in the family's service. . . technically.

Keaton: . . . uh-huh.

Gough: Don't you have a 'White Noise' sequel to go make?

Keaton: It pays more than fluffing pillows. . .

Gough: Yes, well I put laxatives in your drinks during the '89 shoots.

Keaton: That was you?!?!?!

Gough: Yes, really. Jack and I had a good laugh over your. . . habitual cramping. . .beetlejuice indeed. . .

Keaton: That was low! I've a good mind to . . .

Gough: Go use the facilities?! Don't stop on my account. *laughs* We used to turn on the prop Bat signal to let the filming crew know that you were on one of those extended bathroom breaks. Those inside jokes were extraordinary. Quite legendary really.

Keaton: *cries* They said it was to give me inspiration!!!

Gough: Oh it did give inspiration; it inspired the rest of us to stay away from the privy, while you were massacring all in the vicinity with your aroma of vengeance.

Keaton: You tricked me. *continues to sob*

Gough: Oh, come, come. No worse than when Nolan called you up and asked you if you were busy. . . . . to mow his lawn.

Keaton: *exasperated* Why?

Gough: Because I'm delightful. *sighs satisfactorily* Cheer up. You are a better Bruce, but his Batman would maul yours in an alley brawl.

Keaton: I could say the same about you and Caine!

Gough: Ha, ha, my boy, don't let the glasses fool you. These hands may prepare quite a supper, but when they make fists, they prepare some R&R in the local emergency room.

Keaton: Ah, the good old days.

Gough: Just enjoy the memory and never forget that new ones are made every day.

Keaton: You always knew what to say. . . *smiles* Alfred.

Gough: The new kid may fit the part Mikey my boy, but Holmes is certainly no Bassinger, especially in her prime.

Keaton: Now that's something we can all agree with.

THE END​

 

[Superwoman Prime]

^ Think that was the longest caption yet.

 

[ChrisBaleBatman]

I think it's got to be the longest one EVER.....has to be.....

 

[MulligaN Stew]

^
Alfred: Watchout Master Wayne!!! We have other equally astute detectives in this thread!!!

Batman: But I already have a sidekick. . . and a cool intro.

*cues theme music*

*does Bat-dance*

*Ratings plummet; all involved are blacklisted and never acknowledged*

The following times literally were the 'Dark Ages' for Bat fans.

Bats: I didn't have a job; I lost everything, filed bankrupt, and did birthday parties just to have a couch to sleep on. It was tough.

edit - Sorry for 'too much' effort guys. I'll try softer next time.

 

[Zephyr Alexian]

These aren't funny.

 

[Superwoman Prime]

These aren't funny.

For your sake, we'll work ten times harder to make them more humorous. After all, this thread DOES revolve around you, Zephyr Alexian.

Kick it in gear, people. Zephyr thinks we're all $#!T.

 

[Zephyr Alexian]

I bring out the best. . .

For your sake, we'll work ten times harder to make them more humorous. After all, this thread DOES revolve around you, Zephyr Alexian.

Well, I did feel an oribital fluxuation; that must explain it.

I just want what's best for the people; funny. Is that too much to ask?

Zephyr thinks we're all $#!T.

No he doesn't. I respect all of you.

Something smells fishy and it's not me; it's the jokes!

More please.

 

[Zephyr Alexian]

Time's up Cillian! What's happening 28 days later?

[Bruce]Craawwwlllliiiiinnnnnggggg innnn myyyyy sskkkkiiiiinnnn. . .

Theeesssseeee woundss will neverrrr heaaalll [/Bruce]

*he cries*

[LP]In the end, it doesn't even matter.[/LP]

If it's any consolation Lord Hyper, mine were shameless.

 

[Zephyr Alexian]

1b) Alfred, I told you that we should've just ordered delivery!

2a) I'm sorry Master Wayne; I must've dozed off on the pot roast!

3b) My home is gone because of a ****ing pot roast!

4a) Your guests were there, and Ra's was hungry; it was the least I could do to whip him up a proper supper.

5b) I take the Tumbler out for a spin and you're feeding my enemies?

6a) Excuse me Master Wayne, but should you be using the Tumbler to pick up . . . ahem . . . feminine entertainment?

7b) I work hard for this city; it's about time the city worked hard for me.

8a) Very well sir. I shall prepare your usual penthouse and make the necessary arrangements for your_______late night indiscretions.

9b) You do that and remember, the damages are coming out of your check old man.

10a) I raised, fed, and cared for you, but if you insist, when you're ready to give me my share of Wayne enterprises, I'll not refuse.

11b) Your half just burned up.

 

[Zephyr Alexian]

edit

 

[LadyMoira]

Bruce-"Can't it wait Alfred? I've got a city to save."

Alfred-"I'm afraid the young lady in the catsuit was most most insistent."

Bruce-"Hot damn!"

Kid-"Trick or Treat!"

Bruce-"D'oh!"

 

[Lunar_Wolf]

ALFRED:Whos the lucky lady tonight master Bruce?
BRUCE: Not a lady Alfred, a 12 year old boy.
ALFRED:.........
BRUCE: If anyone asks he's 18 and he came on to me.

 

[MulligaN Stew]

^haha.

George: Hey Batman fans. Remember me? I was. . . hey, wait up. Where are you going? You don't want my autograph? It wasn't my fault! Arrrggghhh, for the last time, Schumacher put nipples on the Batsuit!!! I was deceived also. . . we all were. . . let it go.

That suit made them wish I had offed your predecessor in '89 JUST to avoid the worst sequel of the franchise. . . with you as the star.
*laughs*

Um. Yeah. Nothing further is needed.

[That last inappropriate bit was directed at the Joker in a purely hypothetical situation. If it's offensive to anyone, please ask a mod to remove it. Thanks.]

 

[MulligaN Stew]

[They're all holding private soliloquies amongst themselves]

Riddler - Arrgghhh, why can't I have the center spot?! It's always about Bruce!!! Give me a break!!!

Harley - I wonder what Mr. J wants for lunch. *sigh* I love him. . . if I spot Ivy talking to him one more time, I'll introduce her to why people love Roundup.

Poison Ivy - Why do Batman and I always have to fight? He's lonely. I'm lonely. Once he accepted the skin rashes from my Ivy, things could work out. . .couldn't they?

Bane - I want to kill this man in a suit who is masquerading as Batman! If he wasn't wearing the sui. . . *stomach rumbles* I'm hungry. How long will this photo op take? Will someone order out? Hunger makes me want to sing showtunes. . . . why can't a big man sing in falsetto? What's so funny about my voice?

Joker - *depressed* Why does my chin look like Jay Lenos'? *sigh* The joke's on me.

 

[MulligaN Stew]

ALFRED:Whos the lucky lady tonight master Bruce?
BRUCE: Not a lady Alfred, a 12 year old boy.
ALFRED:.........
BRUCE: If anyone asks he's 18 and he came on to me.

:anger: For the last time!!! I'm not a boy Lunar Wolf!!!

There's only one way to find out.

 

[Lunar_Wolf]

That bat in the sun productions site is messed up nothing works.
The chick who plays that Ivy is HOT!!!

 

[MulligaN Stew]

That bat in the sun productions site is messed up nothing works.
The chick who plays that Ivy is HOT!!!

She looks tempting, but I need more clarity; post a better pic if you don't mind.

 

[Dr. Fate]

BATMAN: "I want to know what love is."

 

[MulligaN Stew]

What?! Don't pretend that gas prices didn't hurt your pocketbook too! With the expenses of my utility weapons, co. cutbacks, and things stretching themselves to the limit. . . I've had to economize.

One time, I hadn't eaten for three days; this old bum really lucked out. I traded him my Countach for a sausage biscuit. . . w/ cheese. It's one of the reasons why the boardmembers of my company are concerned with how I handle things.

 

[MulligaN Stew]

Batman: No grappling hook. . .hmmm, what would Superman do?

 

[MulligaN Stew]

BATMAN: "I want to know what love is."

hahahaha, great work. He should've just asked Kinsey.

Bruce, love is poison in your veins.

It won't infect me!!! I'll run!!!

You never did have the courage to do what was necessary! Ms. Dawes is mine. All too easy. *rubs hands*

 

[LadyMoira]

Joker-"Well Heath might have the part now but I don't think he's gonna get three Oscars so there!"

 

[MulligaN Stew]

Really Mr. Nolan? You're going to let me be in TDK? Aww, that's wonderful. . . now, I've been working on a few ideas for the re-emergence of the character, and I really thi. . . . what. . . I don't understand. . .

What do you mean 'Robin's not in this film?!' You want me to work as your PA?! No way!!! Absolutely not!!! I'd rather. . .how much does it pay and what time do I start? :shame:

 

[MulligaN Stew]

The unfortunate past. . . .

[Carmine Falcone] Sometimes. . .sometimes things just go bad. [/Carmine Falcone]