The Dark Knight Caption Thread!

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BATMAN: Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, chief. It was comin' back, from the island of Tinian Delady, just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. Thirteen footer. You know, you know that when you're in the water, chief? You tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. Well, we didn't know. `Cause our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. Huh huh. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, chief. The sharks come cruisin'. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know it's... kinda like `ol squares in battle like a, you see on a calendar, like the battle of Waterloo. And the idea was, the shark would go for nearest man and then he'd start poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the shark would go away. Sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into you. Right into your eyes. You know the thing about a shark, he's got...lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white. And then, ah then you hear that terrible high pitch screamin' and the ocean turns red and spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin' they all come in and rip you to pieces.
Y'know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men! I don't know how many sharks, maybe a thousand! I don't know how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday mornin' chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player, bosom's mate. I thought he was asleep, reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up and down in the water, just like a kinda top. Up ended. Well... he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Noon the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us, he swung in low and he saw us. He'd a young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper, anyway he saw us and come in low. And three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and start to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened? Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water, three hundred and sixteen men come out, the sharks ttook the rest, June the 29, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.
 
ultimatefan said:
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Superman: C´mon, wasn´t it enough that your new movie got better reviews, had more fan praise and made more money in USA than mine?
Batman: No. BTW, you look gay in those speedos.

HOT-DAMN! WOOOOORD! HAHA!
 
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Superman: Step away from Lois.
Batman: She likes when I put my tounge in her ear.
Lois: He has a car, Superman!!
Superman: I can fly!!
Batman: She likes being chained up!!!
Lois: And he's rich, it takes like 2 hours to drive to his house from the gate!!
Superman: But thats a waste of time.
Batman: She likes it when I spank her with my cape!!!
Lois: Your just so boring.
Superman: Boring? I'm a ****ing alien!!!!
Lois: Come on Bats lets go have some fun.
Batman: She likes fun and by fun she means sex.

50 YEARS LATER.

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Superman: Bruce is dead and you have cancer, it's good to be me.
 
Lunar_Wolf said:
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Superman: Step away from Lois.
Batman: She likes when I put my tounge in her ear.
Lois: He has a car, Superman!!
Superman: I can fly!!
Batman: She likes being chained up!!!
Lois: And he's rich, it takes like 2 hours to drive to his house from the gate!!
Superman: But thats a waste of time.
Batman: She likes it when I spank her with my cape!!!
Lois: Your just so boring.
Superman: Boring? I'm a ****ing alien!!!!
Lois: Come on Bats lets go have some fun.
Batman: She likes fun and by fun she means sex.

50 YEARS LATER.

1296_4_040.jpg

Superman: Bruce is dead and you have cancer, it's good to be me.
ROFLMAO.
 
Lunar_Wolf said:
sorryclark9ah.jpg

Superman: Step away from Lois.
Batman: She likes when I put my tounge in her ear.
Lois: He has a car, Superman!!
Superman: I can fly!!
Batman: She likes being chained up!!!
Lois: And he's rich, it takes like 2 hours to drive to his house from the gate!!
Superman: But thats a waste of time.
Batman: She likes it when I spank her with my cape!!!
Lois: Your just so boring.
Superman: Boring? I'm a ****ing alien!!!!
Lois: Come on Bats lets go have some fun.
Batman: She likes fun and by fun she means sex.

50 YEARS LATER.

1296_4_040.jpg

Superman: Bruce is dead and you have cancer, it's good to be me.
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Ahahahahahahahahahahaha!

That's just so damn brilliant... :woot:
 
LordofHypertime said:
Heheh. ^

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SM: Christopher Reeve is dead! Anyone who joked about him being paralyzed while he was alive is a sicko. And that goes doubley for anyone who jokes about him being paralyzed AND dead!

BM: All I said was that his acting was wooden!
:oldrazz:
 
ultimatefan said:
sorryclark9ah.jpg

Superman: C´mon, wasn´t it enough that your new movie got better reviews, had more fan praise and made more money in USA than mine?
Batman: No. BTW, you look gay in those speedos.
Nyahahahahahaha!
 
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SUPERMAN: "You could have saved Katie Holmes from Tom Cruise, but you didn't! You allowed yourself to be blinded by your unreasoning hatred of Dawson's Creek, which in turn led to an innocent woman being abducted by a crazed cult! Now I have no choice but to go Marvel Comics Punisher on your sorry ass!"
BATMAN: "You're just mad because you wanted her to be Lois Lane since she had a better body than Kate Bosworth."
SUPERMAN: "Shut the f@#$ up!"
 
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Supes: Now SWALLOW!




After Supes administers pain killers, of course.
 
lol...delete the explaination. Its better without it :)
 
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SUPERMAN: "You could have saved Katie Holmes from Tom Cruise, but you didn't! You allowed yourself to be blinded by your unreasoning hatred of Dawson's Creek, which in turn led to an innocent woman being abducted by a crazed cult! Now I have no choice but to go Marvel Comics Punisher on your sorry ass!"
BATMAN: "You're just mad because you wanted her to be Lois Lane since she had a better body than Kate Bosworth."
SUPERMAN: "Shut the f@#$ up

Bwa Ha Ha! Especially with the latest pics of KB in People-girl's a friggin skeleton...
 
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Superman: Bruce, this is rediculous. Hiding behind Lois isn't going to save you.
 
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Superman: Just wait....i'm going to get alfred....
 
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LOIS: Honey, calm down and think about it... This could end up in a ridiculous, unnecessary bloodbath... Or the world´s all-time greatest threesome!
 
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Lois: Clark...um...remember when you asked me why Jason likes to sleep hanging upside down? Well, I think you may want to be sitting down for this......
 
KalMart said:
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Lois: Clark...um...remember when you asked me why Jason likes to sleep hanging upside down? Well, I think you may want to be sitting down for this......

Lmao :up: :D
 
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"Undt if ve measure ze impact on ze brain eas mass times velocity, ve vill see zat ze deeferentz between temprerary concussion, undt permanaent drooling undt bedwetting ees merely a matter off 2.46589723 meterrs per zecond! Any qvestions? Goot!"
 
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bale-what are you smiling about? ive got the bigger movie.

routh-ive got the bigger cock

bale-my movie was better

routh-mine made more worldwide

bale-mines getting a sequel sooner!

routh-.........
 
^^

Rock-bottom? This is the SHH Dark Knight Caption Thread calling. Prepare for impact.
 
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